Newbies Nest

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1582537 wrote: Did nobody get my GWAWK-amole joke? Guacamole? Get it? Get it??

*crickets*crickets*crickets*

Guacamole!! .. sounds something you would say if your on Fire ! ( - George Carlin )

Hello and GWAWK my fellow nesters

So all day long I was planning on coming home and having a great postathon..but Im feeling kinda like lifechanges' description with the heavy eyes. Im way exhausted from all the torching I did today. I still might after I eat something. I scrolled through the daily nest posts and wow...what a happening place tonight. I dont want to miss anything juicy or anthing lol.

So just a quicky before I go do some minor shopping. Today I hit the 60 day mark and Im not sure why but im not as excited as I thought I would/should be by this accomplishment. Oh Im stoked about having the courage and the gumption to tackle this with basically my boys and MWO being my sole encouragement.. but Maybe my sobriety is settling in on me. .. to where Im feeling just like an every day non-drinking guy. I dont particularly miss drinking or anything about it. On the other hand Im not finding myself glad..nor happy about quitting either. I feel indifferent about it at this point. .. Its like I just dont drink any more..and thats just who I am. Kinda like going into winter and wearing warm clothing.. I dont wear shorts anymore .. I just dont. Same with drinking alcohol..I just dont drink. I dont know if thats right or wrong but its actually kind of a nice and relaxing state of mind. Not having anything to do with AL is something that I wanted and expected from myself. I dont care about it anymore...one way or another. Actually I guess I should say I CHOOSE not to care about it anymore. I dont feel that its complacency though. I hope this feeling lasts forever and that any future events do not blindside me with the thinking that I can moderate. This is why I will continue to keep my tools close at hand. I will be on guard in times where there Might be a situation where I would normally imbibe. ( example..my birthday is on a worldwide holiday..which its very common for Everyone to drink..toast..party..get slammed..hungover etc. ) I have been on board with everyone else when it comes to this celebration in the past. Im already planned for that one and personally I dont think it will be an issue anyways..but Im "ready in the head" sorta speak. Its the ones that I dont/cant see coming that I will be especially guarded. You see its not that I think that I cant have a beer or champagne without finding myself slam dunk drunk. Its only which that by drinking could I Ever find myself slam dunk drunk. And that shit is no longer unacceptable for me or my life. Its real simple..dont drink problem solved. So basically to make a long story short is that I dont miss it..Im not "glad" Im without it per say.. its that ultimately I AM exited about living my life and what it means to be Me again. And this long awaited eagerness to start living again as I am meant to is the responsibility of my Abstinence from AL. I understand this fact and utterly accept what this means. So yes..I am Overjoyed that I no longer have alcohol in my life because of what it does for me by default. It allows me to be Me.

Well Im way past just a quicky and Im not getting any lighter in the hunger department so I should head on out for some dinner supplies and a movie.

Im in a Wishing you all Yourselves mood tonight. .. so be You and not Alyou. :l:h

60-Day-Dave signing off..

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1582527 wrote: Evenin Nesters....still GWAWKing along! (now it's a VERB!)

Whataday! I'm telling you....5 shipping errors to the same customer this week...they've HAD it with us, and so have I. I'm just glad this week is done. I'm going to go relax in a hot bath and wash off this dam week. I mean it was AWFUL and one for the books...I try to look on the bright side and say at least I have a job, but today, I didn't feel very lucky.

BUT I am sober and I DO love that!! Stay strong everyone! Byrdie

Please TELL me where you work before I start my online holiday shopping!!!! Hang in there Byrd - think of it as entertainment.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Golly, Where Are the Wonderful Kit-kats? I'm sure that's what it stands for . . .

GREAT job Dave - not just on the milestone, but re-creating your life and who you are - I know you are proud of yourself!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dave! Congrats on your 60 days!
:flush:

Here's for flushing Al down the toilet without actually drinking it. Great job on your quit. You are showing us all how it's done!

Stay strong everyone! You've just about got this one in the books!
Byrdie

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters. So here goes...GWAK. No, GWAWK! Ok. That was a little awkward for me. I think I'm blushing. Guess I'm the red birdie in the nest.

So, today was interesting. First of all, I've been feeling so alive and loving how it feels. It's day Day 19 for me. And I can't say it's been a great struggle as all of the other times I've quit. My longest quit was 6 months. But there was a lot of negativity that I feel with that quit. I'm glad I had that time, as I found what didn't work for me. IT's like research. It's still moving forward with the research, even though a theory may have been proved wrong. So it wasn't a waste of time. My days have been filled with peace, smiling at stupid things, and just enjoying, I feel, every part of my day. Incredible.

Today, as is every friday and saturday, is a "trigger" if you will. Well, why the hell not? It's been my life for the last 30 years. That's what we do on friday and saturday. We (me and hubby) drink. My husband, though, is not like me. He can take it or leave it. He's leaving it mostly when I'm around. So, midday, I thought about this. And I thought, gotta have a plan. My plan started with a nap after work, went to chiropractor (trying to nurse my foot back to health - plantar's faschitis) and hubby and I went to a quaint little italian restaurant that we've been wanting to go to for awhile now. It's a BYOB, so we didn't bring anything in. I watched, every now and then, someone swirling wine in their glass, and it stung just a bit. Didn't bite, just a little sting. Dinner was so yummy, and I had dessert. While drinking, dessert was never an option for me, as I just wanted to have an after dinner drink or move onto the harder stuff, as my stomach was a little full (not too full as I needed more room to drink). So it was so enjoyable. I was able to taste my dinner, and the apple crisp with a scoop of gelato on top. So there you go. Two times that I had that fleeting feeling. It went away!!!!!! And now I get to go to bed with a clear head and wake up tomorrow with a clear head! Why didn't anyone tell me this shit 30 years ago. Hmmmm...

Byrdlady, I read your post. Why would we choose death and despair. I did that, over and over again. I'm done with that shit. Great post. Thank you.

K9 - I will remember the nasty hangovers. I just hope it doesn't go away, kinda like what child labor felt like. Wait, what did it feel like? See. I forget. But I don't think I'll have a hard time recalling the hangovers. In fact, I will think of that often.

Willow - just as I'll remember the hangovers, I will keep in the front of my mind the good stuff that's happening being sober. Jeez! So many good feelings, don't even need to try and remember that. But I'm sure I'll need to go to that page in my brain when the bitch beast comes along. Glad hubby is being supportive of your quest to quit.

Gambler, I like what you said, "it allows me to be me." Nice!

MyLuck, my Dad and my aunt had pancreatitis. Both due to drinking. They both quit and I'm so thankful. Glad hubby will be ok and this should be very helpful and make not drinking easier for you.

Luckyflower, I liked your reflections on Quit vs. Drink. Can relate to all of that. I can't use that "forever" word either. Too powerful of a word. ODAT.

Imstrong, Yep, our minds have complete control over what we eat and drink. For now, I'm gonna eat and have some treats, but I will not drink.

Catbelle, congrats on day 40! Everyday can be a milestone for us as far as I'm concerned.

Pavati, great friday plan! I think I'm going to need to make solid plans for Friday and Saturday night - at least for a long time. That's my weakest time.

Byrdlady, NoSugar, and Sanchez, Thank you for encouraging me to be here. That means lots.

Ok, it's time to settle down into the nest. Night all and thanks again for inviting me in.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Everyone's busy GWAWKing around here - that's great :H

Dave, CONGRATS on your 60 AF days - very nice. Please buy yourself a little something to celebrate.

Anyone on Facebook, take a minute to look up the 'Waves of Gratitude' page - it's awesome.
I am so thankful for each & every day & being totally present in my life now

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest.
Lav

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Not sleepy...11:21pm I need to sleep...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Day 27

GWAWKy MAE Nesters!

Dave - 60 days - huge congrats!

Hope everybody had a lovely AF Friday - mine certainly was.

Later!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

GWAWK!! somehow I missed the meaning of this (now) lovely word. I really thought it was the sound of Lav's chickens!:H Don't get me wrong, Lav, I love the chicks-- and their normal bwawking. But this loud GWAWK reminded me of my childhood chicken when she was in a bad mood and following me about the yard--so I got scared!!
Love it Dave-- yours, too, K9. Very funny.

First things first-- DO, what's up with the coffee? Are you running out the door today? I've brewed a hot pot so join me if you have a moment!

Dave, Super on 60 days and changing your life, finding yourself again. That's how I feel. too, and it's wonderful, isn't it? I'm just trying to hold myself back a bit and not take on too many things at once-- I am cautious about overdoing it before I have some more time under my belt. Is that weird? Do you understand?

Dottie, my partner in crime!-- Good on you for staying strong and not giving in to the beast! I bet your hair-do and nails look gorgeous. We never want to wake up in the morning regretting the decision to drink the night before, do we? We're at 70 today. I have a good feeling that I'll never drink again, but I still don't talk so much about forever-- I like to celebrate all the milestones. Hope you have a great day!!

Myluck, I'm glad to hear about the positive doctors appt.--- The fact that the pancreas can regenerate itself with nutrition is great news-- and you'll be healthier as well for following your hubby's diet. It's like an adventure going into new cooking territory-- it sounds like you like to cook? Is that right? Great job supporting your love..

I'mstrong, your posts crack me up-- you're really racking up the days, too, ODAT! I was wondering with the eating thing if you've ever tried to replace the junk food with healthy food, but without limiting the quantities for awhile-- just to get out of the JF cycle? I'm asking, because it's helped me a lot not to allow myself to eat when I want and however much I want, but only "healthy" foods which means I have to prepare quite a lot ahead of time and carry snacks around with me. But it is working and after just a week, I'm having fewer cravings and am more in control. Just a thought.

Bhalo, we are always missing eachother! How exciting to have a date tonight! I hope you have a great time and look forward to hearing about it..

Pavati, I really enjoy reading your thoughtful posts.. glad you are here with us each day, one day at a time.:l And today should be your Day 7!!

You too, Moss, such thoughtful posts.:l

Last night I went to an opening with my 3 best friends-- there are always free drinks there and I had no problem drinking water while they drank prosecco and then wine. At some point one of them said, in a joking way, "God, I think I'm an alcoholic, I've been drinking glass after glass of whiskey at home ALONE! I've never done that before, but now it seems it's all I have to look forward to."-- then looked at me and asked, "What do you do at home every night?" I just answered that I probably do the same thing as her, the same thing I've always done!, but without drinking. She asked, "Isn't that boring? What's the point?". I know that is how I used to feel and now it makes me so sad.
I have to say, I am so relieved not to be there any more. I'm really worried about the progression of her drinking and hope it isn't too late for her to get it under control.
I'm so grateful to be where I am now. We are all so lucky to be here and aware and even though it is sometimes an out and out fight, we are making our lives better.

Hugs and strength to you all!!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Morning all! Quick post here whilst I'm at my daughter 's horse riding lesson. Man, the amount of times I've sat here feeling like death with a hangover and wondering if I'll have to sneak off and puke in the toilet. Nice to have a clear head. Also my husband has been working crazy hours this week and he's shattered so I was able to give him a lie-in and get up with the kids. Would have really struggled with that before and he'd have had to get up.

Have a good day everyone x

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

My goodness LC, I made for the crazy uniformed people and forgot about the Nest! How could I???? Thanks for the coffee - will be on duty again tomorrow morning (that is, if I don't forget again!). Put in a couple of hours' work in the garden, but it's just past noon here and really too hot to be out. So, I'm going to read back here now and garden again when it's cooler.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

LIFECHANGE
:yes2::yes2:70 AF DAYS!!!:yes2::yes2:

[sixtyfour]

Newbies Nest

I'm sorry I've not been on here since Friday morning Aussie time. I've just been catching up on all the posts. What I was so stunned about was that so many people took the trouble to comment on my post and support me - Moss, Lavande, 3 June, Beagle, Gambler, Pavati, Sanchez, Daily - I hope I haven't missed anyone, I'm not too good at reading back without also accidentally logging myself out and losing my message. Thank you so much for the support, I'm really amazed at how much kindness and support I've found on here. Moss - in answer to your question, yes, telling the children that I'd been trying not to drink but 'look at her now.' It even extended several times to turning on the webcam to show my children. I actually don't think my children found it funny, they were probably pretty horrified, but nevertheless they did see me I know. I think they probably found it pretty sad. My daughters anyway. My sons probably took the moral highground and agreed with their father. But I don't think any of them had realised up to then that it was any more than just heavy drinking. I don't actually think my husband realises even now that it's not just heavy drinking either. He's more concerned about the cost of the second bottle, than expressing thoughts about my physical and mental/emotional health. Lavande - maybe you are right - making excuses about his shitty behaviour. The fact is though that nobody argues with him - he isn't physically violent these days but he can be very verbally abusive and has the ability to just slice through me. You can't win with him. I know people sometimes don't understand, but for my own sanity it's better to just go along with him than try to argue with him or stand up to him because any other way would just make life way too difficult for me and I just feel I have enough on my plate as it is with my mother (his mother, actually) and I can't cope with any more stress. He won't go shopping, but if he wants alcohol and tells me to get it, I get it. Because if I don't - see above. He can take it or leave it, hence ordering all that wine. He just believes that he can put it on the wine rack and have a bottle or two a week. I feel bad that I have let him down by saying all this - we are close in pretty much every way, he does love me very much, and we spend all our time together. But I'm pretty much on my own in this - I can't tell him, because he'd make such a huge fanfare about it, and go round telling all the children that I've said I'm an alcoholic and I just can't deal with that. I hope this explains a bit. I hope you are all having a lovely weekend, and alcohol free! I am NOT drinking today!

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

64- my heart is breaking for you. I won't preach at you about your husbands behavior. Everybody has their own life and their own shit behind closed doors, but it pisses me off that he is clearly and intentionally hurting you. Keep posting here. Find your strength here. We will support you fully!

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

64, i m sorry you having hard time with your husband about your quit. Stay strong, post often.

Today is my 20 AF day!!! I am feeling great, getting ready to go to cycling class in the gym.