Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Dear Sixtyfour, we are here to support you.:l Your situation is very difficult--but made even more difficult if you drink. I never had to deal with someone drinking at home while I was trying to abstain, so I don't have any wisdom as to how to handle that. I hope you will be able to find a deep rooted strength from within to carry on, knowing you are on the right path. I think everything is "easier" to handle after some time without alcohol. Our perception changes-- hang in there and know we're here for you..

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

It's just at the freezing mark here, Brrrr!!!

Sixtyfour, I have a lot of opinions about dominant males, comes from experience. I grew up in a household where we were told to comply just to keep the peace. Whittles away at your self-esteem My husband has his own issues & I have finally convinced him that he's been a bully & I'm not having any of that. His Dad was an alcoholic, we all have difficult people in our lives. Emotional blackmail is worse to me than a physical beating. I just want you to succeed & meet your goals & feel supported here.

LC, CONGRATS on 70 AF days!
Maybe you can guide your friend here with some gentle persuasion

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!
Lav

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Byrdie .. even though I normally related being head first on the toilet instead of ass first when it came to AL I appreciate the sentiment all the same :H

Jvo- I really like your writing. Your much better with them commas than my "dot dot dot" thing. Yea I remember when my taste buds started having a palate party after a week or so. I just wish they would stop going to the Ice cream parlor..

Lav - Thats so funny..I was going to use Gwawking somehow in a post..you beat me to it LOL. Oh and I already bought myself a little something..and attorney! I am however saving up for an electric blanket. Oh baby cant wait !

Nice compound acronym with the Gwawk and MAE there DTD

Lifechange- Im not completely sure about what you meant..but I think I understand.

64- I guess its up to you and how you can deal with things. Personally I would think telling your husband about your quit would be the best for the both of you. But if its going to cause you hardship or adverstly affect your stamina for your quitting then It might be better just to quit and let it be for now. I really dont know. I told everyone about my quit if it ever came up. I told some peeps up front..others I waited until it was brought up in a conversation. .. mostly I just spilled the beans on everyone though. I didnt care what others thought of me quitting or any stigmatism that would go with it. In the long run mostly everyone is supportive ( I dont know many but those few are ). So I guess use your best judgement to keep yourself comfortable as much as you can right now. There are no set rules for quitting..use whatever means you need to quit.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and the 60 day hazing with the camode. Im able to go into work to make up for my lost time so Im gonna jump jet out for a while. Wishing everyone a Fwawking good day (Forever Willpower And Willingness to Kick-it ) .. Hey Im getting pretty good at this off the cuff acronym thingy.. Peace out..

Dave

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! It is a good morning. Have plans with my sis to go to breakfast then a little shopping. Then this evening I think hubby and I will go to see the movie, "Last Vegas." Looks funny. That's another thing I never did while drinking. I couldn't waste two precious drinking hours at the movie theater. No way. I'm on day 19 and hungry for more.

Dave, congrats on 60!

LifeChange, congrats on 70!! I agree with not taking too many things on at once. I'm eating well, but not depriving myself of treats every now and then. I didn't allow myself treats when I was drinking because I chose drink over them, so I want to enjoy those kinds of things like yummy desserts. And my other addiction, smoking, which I smoke about half pack a day. I don't want to rush that one either. One thing at a time. And sorry to hear about your friend. Sounds like she's running into the same issues that we did. I remember thinking the same thing, "that would be so boring."

64, sorry about your situation. Stay strong and don't drink! It would be so much more difficult if you did.

MyLuck, congrats on 20!! Good for you.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1582706 wrote:

Last night I went to an opening with my 3 best friends-- there are always free drinks there and I had no problem drinking water while they drank prosecco and then wine. At some point one of them said, in a joking way, "God, I think I'm an alcoholic, I've been drinking glass after glass of whiskey at home ALONE! I've never done that before, but now it seems it's all I have to look forward to."-- then looked at me and asked, "What do you do at home every night?" I just answered that I probably do the same thing as her, the same thing I've always done!, but without drinking. She asked, "Isn't that boring? What's the point?". I know that is how I used to feel and now it makes me so sad.
I have to say, I am so relieved not to be there any more. I'm really worried about the progression of her drinking and hope it isn't too late for her to get it under control.
I'm so grateful to be where I am now. We are all so lucky to be here and aware and even though it is sometimes an out and out fight, we are making our lives better.

Hugs and strength to you all!!

LC
I think that the boredom thing is the biggest challenge that we all face. When first stopping, I think we all tend to look at how boring being sober is going to be, how we would miss our afternoon tody, or whatever drink of "choice" might be. Once the realization hits home that we don't have A drink, that we consumed many drinks, then we acknowledge a problem exists. The largest hurdle, the what we do instead becomes a willpower struggle. It is a hard paradigm to shift. So it has occurred to me that being truly aware that this is what's happening is half the battle. If I can keep focused on the point that I just don't drink booze because of drinking too much when I DID drink, if I keep fresh in my mind that I felt like shit , that I was in a vicious cycle, etc then the whole idea of "how boring" becomes irrelevant. I find that looking back should not be about missing but about, what the hell did I do to myself, what a waste of time.
Sam

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Lav - I found the Waves of Gratitude site on FB - "Quit Anything that Drains your Spirit" resonated with me today.
LC - 70 days - great work - I actually was on the nutritarian diet - and will likely go back to it. I saw a few documentaries (I think they are on you tube now); "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead"; "Forks Over Knives", etc. then I saw Dr. Fuhrman on tv talking about fueling your body with the healthiest ingredients can cure diseases, etc. and we followed his diet. You really do lose the desire for sugar, caffiene, processed, fried foods. Even me. Drinking intervened and I gained back the 20 pounds and the inflammation in my joints.
Dave, I know I congratulated you yesterday. I've told my "inner circle" about my quit - keeping the back door open, of course. I've said it is "for now" - and I am not ready to tell some of the close people in my life - partly because of my fear of failure, and honestly because I want to drink again. That little gem is in the back of my mind. I KNOW that everyone who is successful has said, and I've seen it repeated over and over again. We (I) cannot drink. I can't-or won't get my head around that yet. I'm not drinking today. I'm not drinking tomorrow. ODAT. Ok,2 DAT.
Late last night, I was sitting in front of the tv with my glass of fake wine, sleep-watching an old movie I've seen thousands of times. This was one of my husband's biggest complaints - he thought I sat up to drink. (I probably did). He's out of town, and there I was, still trying to stay awake for no reason. The behavior's the same - without the hangover. I think I'm going to give up the fake wine, too - and only get a bottle for when we have company.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, All!!
DreamThink.....GWAWKY MAE sounds like Stella's homely cousin from the hills!!!!:H:H

Lucky, 20 days is huge!!! You are sliding around the bases and are about to land yourself a hat!! GREAT job!

Dave, I was wiped out (toilet joke) yesterday when I was doing the awards.... maybe I had to pee? I just like that emoticon! It's refreshing!! This is a new day, not like before!! We are in new territory!!

64, I hate to keep referring to my idolization of Lav, but that lady KNOWS what she's talking about. I TRY to immulate what she does, and I must say, so far IT'S working when nothing else did. She made a vow to never drink or BUY AL again. I have made that same vow to myself. If someone else needs booze, by GOSH, THEY can buy it. If he can take it or leave it, then leave it to him. Just from the sidelines, it doesn't SOUND like he CAN leave it if he is ordering it by the case online. Perhaps he is protesting so much because he doesn't want to face his own consumption. My hubs still drinks moderately, too....but he has to buy it and he has to keep it out of my space and face. This is NOT too much to ask of your hubs, if you are soulmates, then he will want to help you, NOT sabotage you. With men (sorry guys) you must TELL them these things, they cannot read our minds, especially when it comes to AL...they don't know the half of it. Besides, NOBODY needs to be drinking, even him. It's not good for anyone. You live in that house, too and you have rights...if he wants booze, he has to find a way to get his own. This is not too much to ask of him. I used to do all the shopping, too...but guess what, now he does it or we have peanut butter sandwiches. I work full time and he is retired, I'm not superwoman, he has to pitch in and help run this place. Times change and it might do him good to participate in the shopping! Of course, this is an internet forum and I don't know your situation, but it sounds an awful lot like mine....he'll get over it...mine did!

I think Fridays and Saturdays are triggers for everyone....that's when we have the most time on our hands (to think!!). I found that putting myself into the service of someone else REALLY helped. Do you have an elderly neighbor or maybe a busy mother who doesn't have time to do squat? Bake them a cake and run it over! For NO reason! It is amazing that just the act of setting yourself on a task like that can help! Call a nursing home and take your dog by to visit those poor folks who don't see a new face for WEEKS! Don't get caught up in a Pity Party of one! There are plenty of people who have life 1000 times worse than we do!! Celebrate today by living it!! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in - Saturday afternoon.

I have no intention of drinking alcohol tonight.

I will be on here later, when I settle down to do some serious writing and program design

Anyone else think they suffer from internet/smart device addiction?

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

GWAWK MAE (feel like I'm speaking Welsh).... Lol... I actually said "I'm shattered" the other night and my husband was like, what happened? Bc that means very upset or destroyed where I'm from not just really worn out... Funny how we pick up language here.... Must mean I'm posting and reading a lot though!
Day *12
I
Have really enjoyed your posts this hangover free morning- Jvo, I used to pray I wouldn't puke while driving to gymnastics for my daughter on Saturday morn- I so can relate... Good feeling heh?

Lifechange!!!!!! Here's a 70 day poem

Life
Is
FWAWKING better
Every single day
Couldn't
Have
Achieved these 70 days if
Not for
GWAWKING here
Everyday!

Congrats

64 - re: your situation w your hubby. It will get better when you don't drink. I know I gave a lot of my personal power to my husband because I just wanted to be drunk. And the more I just let him have his way and placated him, the less likely I was to be called out for drinking ..... Now that I'm so proud and feeling more confident he doesn't seem like such a bossy man anymore .... I think I let him have that role
Don't know if that makes sense but stay sober! You will find your voice again

Well, big night .... LSU playing Alabama and we are headed to what is sure to be a drunken fest. I will not drink .... Plan to bring some NA beer and put a coozie(thing that keeps it cold?) around it and just avoid the questions ... No one notices and I don't really care but I don't think I'm strong enough yet to hear oh you can have just one... Here. Argh

Dave 60! Awesome you are such an inspiration to me. I will write your anacronistic poem later.... Gotta go see kiddos

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon all. So I went to get my NA mulled wine today for tonight - and the shop didn't have any! No worries I thought, I'll try another shop. None there either. I could feel myself getting panicky - my 'best laid plans' looked like they were being ruined and that for me is coming mighty close to a trigger. So then we went to ANOTHER store - they didn't have any either. It was horrendously busy, my chest was really tight and I felt near tears. Finally I found some NA red and a spice bag to mull it myself. So ... in a nutshell, I fought - and won.

I know it seems silly to get so het up over a bottle of NA wine but I knew that I wouldn't be happy sipping on a can of coke and could cave quite easily. I feel much more in control knowing I've got my NA wine - plus as I said yesterday it will stop all the questions about why I'm not drinking as no-one will know it's not alcoholic.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Dear All,

I am delighted to be sober today day 1 done. Have been beating myself since last few days.

I did think during the day it would be great to drink in the evening .But instead took my wife to standup comedy. Now lying on comfi bed (instead of passing out) thinking of u all guys.

Dave way to go on 60 days you inspire us a lot. But hang in there dont even think u r out of danger zone. You may not think of AL or may not crave it but your AL brain is ..

Have a nice week all.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1582605 wrote: Good evening Nesters,

Everyone's busy GWAWKing around here - that's great :H

Dave, CONGRATS on your 60 AF days - very nice. Please buy yourself a little something to celebrate.

Anyone on Facebook, take a minute to look up the 'Waves of Gratitude' page - it's awesome.
I am so thankful for each & every day & being totally present in my life now

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest.
Lav
Willow23;1582921 wrote: Afternoon all. So I went to get my NA mulled wine today for tonight - and the shop didn't have any! No worries I thought, I'll try another shop. None there either. I could feel myself getting panicky - my 'best laid plans' looked like they were being ruined and that for me is coming mighty close to a trigger. So then we went to ANOTHER store - they didn't have any either. It was horrendously busy, my chest was really tight and I felt near tears. Finally I found some NA red and a spice bag to mull it myself. So ... in a nutshell, I fought - and won.

I know it seems silly to get so het up over a bottle of NA wine but I knew that I wouldn't be happy sipping on a can of coke and could cave quite easily. I feel much more in control knowing I've got my NA wine - plus as I said yesterday it will stop all the questions about why I'm not drinking as no-one will know it's not alcoholic.

HAVE A FANTASTIC BONFIRE NIGHT!!! I can certainly relate and would have had the same thoughts. Enjoy yourself - and won't you feel chuffed in the morning!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Happy Sober Saturday, Everyone.

Last night I ended up going out to dinner with my family. I was feeling strong, no worries, and then SMACK. We ended up at a restaurant we go to often, and there I was facing the bar from which I almost always had at least one martini. I was craving a drink instantly. Luckily I had made my commitment here, and I'm quite stubborn. I ordered a large bottle of bubbly water and focused on my family and having fun. The advice that Dave gave earlier hit home - be prepared for triggers ahead of time because they will come when you least expect them! We had fun, I stuffed myself with risotto (didn't even have room for dessert), and I am waking today hangover free. Phew.

I'm Strong - I love your honest posts. I have truly lurked here for a long time, and I am wondering what is different for you this time. You seem so zen about this. I appreciate your honesty in not telling anyone because you want to drink again. I am there, too. I was reading the 100 day thread and No Sugar posted that when she was in the nest she was lost and just did what she saw the successful people doing until it stuck. Fake it 'til you make it, essentially. So that is what I am doing. I am doing what the successful people have done (posting like a maniac, reading, eating, ODAT, etc.) hoping it sticks. I'm not agonizing about never again, just making it through today.

J-Vo - I hear you about movies. My excuse was that I wanted time to talk with my husband, but being able to drink with him was certainly part of the equation. Maybe we'll see one tonight. Thanks for your thoughtful posts.

64 - I am sorry about what you're going through. My sister is extricating herself from a relationship in which she was the pleaser/appeaser, and she subjugated who she was to keep the peace. Maybe what you and your husband have is a pattern that your being af can help you both break. She got a lot of help from a book called Codependent No More. Good luck!

Lifechange - You sound so solid. Thanks for your posts. Congratulations on 70 days!

Dave, not sure I ever said congratulations on 60 days. I love the way you describe it as a non event.

Everyone - I saw a TEDx talk last night that blew me away. I am still not telling anyone (except my husband and my friend who told me about MWO and is on here, too) about my plan to quit. Here is Ash Beckham on "Coming Out of Your Closet." I can't summarize it and do it justice - just take the 11 minutes and watch.

Hope everyone has great days. When I check in this evening I will have finished day 7 thanks to you all.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,
Finallly got some sleep last night so now I slept too late...need to set an alarm and get some sort of routine going....
Off to run some errands again...wouldn't u think I could get them all done at one time..nope...
Day 70 feels good....Congrats LC we are doing it!!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pavati, I was so afraid I was going to read that you had caved....I am so happy to see that you pushed thru!!! Around here, 7 big days gets you recognized! Please accept this FULL MOON from the nest!

:moon:

This is for kicking Al's arse for 7 full days!! If you ask me, these are as difficult as it gets and they are now BEHIND you!! eheheheh.....We are so glad you're here! Here's t many more moons in your future!! Byrdie