Newbies Nest

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Londoner;1583168 wrote: I'm now in the mind set of "what am I missing".

Londoner, look at it from the other side: what a you NOT missing: a hangover, for starters. You can supply the rest...

AND WELL DONE!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Just dropped my daughter off, she got upset that I wasn't staying at church today. It's not my thing and last time I went to support her but felt so uncomfortable. I thought that if I went today it would be a trigger so decided not to go. Now I feel rubbish anyway for her being upset! Can't win. But yes, staying busy, I have 6 litres of sparkling water, organic apple juice and tea to drink instead of AL.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Gwawky MAE!! Stella's country cousin!:H Love it, Byrdie!!

DO, thanks for the delicious coffee-- I'm already on my second cup, greedy. I know!

I'm do damned happy that you stayed in this Saturday night, Londoner! Awesome, really-- and Congrats on your 7 days! It was probably quite an inner struggle last night and you won. I was thinking again about how much more difficult it is at your age to find people and activities that don't focus on/around alcohol. What about the fitness people, though? What are your other interests? Are you living directly in London? 20 Questions here-- sorry.

Willow, I think it was good for you to skip the church if you thought it could be a trigger. I also skipped some things with the kids, put myself before them a few times if it meant keeping my quit. When we are strongly sober, we can give them so much more of ourselves in every possible way! But first we have to get there. Well done-- Do you mix the apple juice and sparkling water? sounds yummy!

Lav! Last week I cut gluten and dairy to see if it would help with the sugar cravings, and it did! And I have so much energy I don't know what to do with myself!:H I think gluten especially was really keeping me down. Do you have any special websites you use? or do you just wing it?

Dottie, This can be such a tough time of the year, I know. It has been for me in the past-- we have grey and cold weather here until March or April, usually. I try to make it as cosy as possible inside with warm light and candles, nice music, some good books and some sort of a project. My plan is to be here as much as possible-- so we will support eachother!

LB, big hugs to you!! You truly inspire me in so many ways.
and Hugs :lto Myluck and Pavati and Halo (what's up with the snow? were you kidding?!) and everyone else stopping by!

I'll be around a lot to day, so hope to see a lot of birds flying by.

[giraffe1234]

Newbies Nest

A bit of my story

Used to sneak a couple of drinks when I got home before my partner did (he doesn?t approve of drinking at all). Then I lied about having one glass of wine at a work function to explain the wine breath. I kept on buying vodka to re-fill the bottle in the drinks cupboard.
Always had ? a bottle of white wine in the fridge. I would finish it, then finish half of a new bottle, and replace the empty with the new ? bottle. That way I could finish a bottle in an evening without evidence. Of course I was very diligent when it came to emptying the rubbish at night. My trick was to ?bury? the empties in empty cereal boxes and fill the gaps with veggie peels, onion skins, scraps of plastic and an assortment of wrappers (so the bottles wouldn?t be seen or heard).
Another trick was to cook with wine. More wine in me than in the food of course. Sometimes poured it in a mug and left a teaspoon in the mug right next to the stove; I could easily pass it off as salad dressing in the making.
I know I have a long way to go with this battle. The first few days I thought of alcohol within 3 seconds of waking up (though I never used to drink during the day). It?s better now; I only think of a drink about 5 seconds after I wake up.
Now, at 12 days sober, I expected to look and feel fantastic. Yet I don?t. I?m awfully tired, no energy; almost lethargic. What keeps me going is MWO.
I have finally told my partner that I joined a support group. To which he responded by giving me a sermon about alcohol and reminding me to follow his exemplary and responsible way of nursing one drink the entire evening once every two weeks. (Rolling my eyes here)
Anyway, it?s Sunday, and I?m off to the movies now. Hope you all have or had a fantastic weekend. Tara!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Willow, don't feel guilty - ultimately you, your daghter and the rest of your family will benefit from your "selfishness"

LC, you're welcome. Ican hasn't had her coffee yet - wonder where she is

Giraffe, I felt lethargic as well; you will get over, promise. Your body has a lot to cope with right now, so be kind to it. And Tatta back!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sunny & chilly in my portion of the nest

lifechange, I follow several dairy free, gluten free bloggers on Facebook. Glad to hear you had positive results! Check out these sites:
Living Without - Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free and Other Food Allergies
Real Sustenance

If you like cookbooks (I do):
'Gluten-Free Vegan Comfort Food' by Susan O'Brien is awesome!

giraffe, great on your 12 AF days! Are you taking any supplements? If nothing else a good quality multivitamin is very helpful in restoring your energy. Some fresh air, exercise & lots of water too of course.

Willow, focus on yourself for now, everyone else will be happy when you are feeling better!

Greetings to all & sending wishes for a great AF Sunday!

Lav

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the support all x

LC - no, I heat the apple juice with cinnamon sticks. The sparkling water I just guzzle on it's own. I'm wheat/dairy intolerant so I tend to stay away from those things - funny how I can do that usually, yet AL is so hard!

Giraffe - I feel the same. I still feel a bit headachy, very tired and very emotional. I expected it to be fair, as I've felt like this in the past when I've quit but it's pretty damn miserable when we're actually going through it. So I am totally with you on that one, but you're doing great.

Today I am eating, man, am I eating! Seems like I can't stop. Can't be any worse than the 6 bottles of wine a week though, calories wise. We have also been having a huge toy clear out (ready for all the new junk that 'Santa' will be bringing lol). 3 full bin bags to the charity shop, and 2 bin bags of broken junk to the recycling tip. Job well done - certainly more productive than lying in bed/on the sofa half the day with a hangover. I have a roast in the oven for tonight's dinner (us Brits love a Sunday roast) and I'll be going out later for more AF red wine. DH tried some last night and even he likes it (he quit AL 18 months or so ago, as he hated what it was doing to me - he found it annoyingly easy).

I forgot to say - my new book came yesterday and last night I couldn't put it down so I'm already halfway through. It's called Mothers Ruin by Nicola Barry - has anyone read it? I'm experiencing such a range of emotions from sadness and disgust all the way through to pity and thankfulness that I was never that bad. I guess that's the dangerous part though, thinking, 'I was never that bad so it's ok for me to drink'. Ok, I might not be in that place yet, but no-one goes there overnight huh .... 5 years ago I would be hammered after 1 bottle of wine, these days I can drink 2-2.5 bottles. It's such an insidious thing that has gradually crept up on me - where would I be in 10 years time? Would I be drinking in the morning and hiding it, would I be in rehab, would my children still be in my care, would I be extremely ill. Would I even be dead?

Something in the book really made me laugh - the author said that it took her years to realise that the ones who say they can control their AL intake are usually the ones who are the exact opposite (or words to that effect). It was a bit of an eye opener as I have a good friend who says exactly that, but she would never admit it in a million years. She's a 'respectable' person and respectable people don't act that way (yeah right!). She's always very interested in my drinking on the pretence that she's trying to support me, but I'm actually starting to wonder!

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters..arent we looking rather GWAWKish today.. ( Great Without A Weltering Kranium ) .. yes I know its with a "C" but its the internet ..

Lavande;1583101 wrote: Wishing everyone a FWAWKING safe night in the nest, right Dave?

Every day Lav..every day..

So I finally got my spaghetti electronic wires nicely tucked away for the most part..yea there are still some that you can see up on the ceiling but I was unwilling to get white duct tape to cover them up. Next up is to get some quick chores done. Im thinking of washing the couches cushion covers and that is an all day chore . Getting those little poly-mix fluff pads back into their home correctly is a tricky task in itself. But what the hell im a talented kinda guy. There is also the issue with getting all of my tax and employment records together for the child support recommendation hearing. But that shouldnt take too long.

Anyways Im going to Jam to some tunes and get-r-done.

Dave.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Good morning!
Last night was a good one, even though I still had those fleeting al thoughts. We went to the movies and saw "Last Vegas" with Morgan Freeman, Robert DeNiro, and Michael Douglas. Cute flick and kept me laughing which is great Al-free medicine. While sitting there, I could swear I smelled alcohol. The woman sitting next to me had a water bottle, and I think it may have been filled with it, as my nose knows. It didn't make me want it, it just made me thankful I wasn't at a bar and smelling like that.

I also had a "guilt" moment. Just a moment. My husbands brother called earlier in the day and asked us to meet him for drinks after they were finished with their anniversary dinner. He looked at me and said this, not asking if I wanted to as we'd already made a plan to go to the movies. I felt kind of guilty that my changes are causing him to lose out on some "weekend" fun. But he supports me, and knows that it's just too early to do something like that. Still felt a little guilty. This is all such a big change for him, and even though he's not a big drinker, these changes are almost a shock to our minds.

Sam, thank you for your wise words. It is a paradigm shift. I will continue to come to MWO so I can "keep it fresh in my mind." I don't ever wanna feel like shit again. I'm done with that.

I'mstrong, I get the same behaviors thing. Maybe try giving up the fake wine and just do it when you have company? I'm going to do that next weekend when we have my son's birthday party. I really don't wanna answer any questions at this point. Not that I can't make up excuses like the one I may use in the near future "I've been having hot flashes and drink will bring them on even more."

Willow, stay strong today! Keep busy, and eat as much as you can. Enjoy the roast. Sounds yummy.

Pavati, I like how you, at dinner on Friday, changed your focus from martini to family. That's what we need to do, I think. Replace those AL thoughts as quickly as they pop up in our heads.

Roadrunner, congrats on your 3 months!

DottieBelle, never enjoyed the holidays, especially because I have severe social anxiety. It's always been a struggle for me and it's always a depressing time for that reason. But I know my self-esteem is much higher when I don't drink. Drinking never increased my confidence. It made me vulnerable. Can you and dh go away for a few days? Somewhere warm?

Gambler Dave, when you said, "I feel like I should be doing something," maybe you can just enjoy a movie, a book? We don't need to be productive 24/7 just because we're sober. We need to enjoy these quiet moments and appreciate that we can.

Myluck, good for you and cycling. I know that's a kick-ass workout.

Giraffe, 12 days is great progress. Keep coming here and reading. The support is so necessary, especially early in sobriety.

Have a great Sunday ALL!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone,

I had a good night last night - my sisters and parents were over for dinner. It is a drinking crew, for sure, but there is quite a bit of alcoholism in my family so when I said I'm not drinking for now trying to break some habits they all understood. My sisters and husband went out to see music and I stayed home. I'm very tired and I have a head cold so the excuse wasn't hard to make. The cold is annoying to me right now because I feel like I might if I HAD been drinking last night. Stuffy nose, headache, puffy, watery eyes, etc. I can be grateful that I don't feel like this on top of a hangover I guess.

Today we are going to the inlaws for a birthday party. Another time/place that triggers drinking. In fact, last time I took a week off (three weeks ago) it was at this house that I had a drink. My FiL has been sick, so he's not going to be drinking, and we kept it to a daytime event. My plan is to make some delicious iced tea (I actually do really like it) and to eat lunch even before we go. My FiL's girlfriend is making nachos so I'll start right in on those as well. I am stubborn and since I am here telling you all that I am not going to drink today, I believe that I am not going to drink today. I might try to check in while there.

Willow - sorry you don't feel well. I like Emergen-C - have you tried it? Lots of B vitamins. Exercise helps me, too.

J-Vo - I'm glad you only feel a little guilt. I'm sure your husband would like to see you succeed and a night with you is what he would want. (Plus, sober sex is WAY better than drunk ).

Londoner, good job. I didn't spend a lot of sober Saturdays when I was your age. Giraffe, I didn't sneak drinks per se, but I did top mine off when he wasn't looking. Sigh. Hope you feel better soon. Lifechange, thanks for your positive posts.

Lav - I stopped eating gluten/wheat last year when I was going low carbs to lose weight. All of a sudden my life long heartburn and eye allergies went away. I have tested a few foods out and it seems that wheat is the culprit, so I don't eat wheat any more. Do you have any recommendations for wheat/gluten free bread? What I miss most is a good sandwich.

Happy sober Sunday, everyone. I'll check back later.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Such a lovely, thoughtful Sunday here in the Nest. A real joy to be the presence of you all.

J-vo, you're doing a great job, sounding very strong. I am so happy that you have the support of your husband. It makes this journey just that much less complicated. -- I smell alcohol on people often in the craziest places, at the most unusual hours of the day and I always think of how transparent I was. The people I sat with on the tram on my way to work surely knew, and the people I work closely with. It's like with garlic--if you're eating it you can't smell it, but if you aren't...look out! We are so fortunate to be out of that trap!

Giraffe! Well done on those 12 days! I hope you'll begin to post more here in the Nest-- The strategies we had to secretly consume alcohol! I never thought of the wine in the coffee cup with a spoon-- I did have it in a coffee cup, but the spoon! I'm so relieved that I don't have to waste my time with all of that anymore. Nowadays it's so easy to cook dinner, clean the house, take down the garbage-- and it's so nice to be able to look everyone straight in the eyes. That is wonderful.

Lav, thanks for the info.! I love Vegan comfort food. And I'm so happy with this new way of eating. I would never have believed I could give up dairy and gluten, but I feel so much better that I don't want to chance eating it again.

Hi DAVE!

Pavati, so nice that you could talk to your family and that they understood without hassling you. As for tonight, eating ahead of time is a fantastic idea. And sip away at some other sort of beverage--Keep us all in mind, supporting you, cheering you on, doing exactly the same things you are doing to keep ourselves healthy and sane!!

I just got an email from sister, who usually only writes me, well never, and though we're very close, joined at the heart, we only talk on the phone about twice a year and see eachother every 2 years-- so she just wrote me a long! email to tell me how proud of me she is and how much she loves me and how sorry she is to hear that I've been dealt this card (we had a terrible time as kids with my mom's alcoholism) but that she thinks I am such a lovely and strong person and she'll support me any way she can. I am leaving to viisit her in 4 weeks and will be staying for almost 5 weeks-- It's very likely that my drinking in the past kept her at an arms length.
Anyway, just wanted to share that with you all-- it touched me so deeply.
A wonderful Sunday for you all..

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, great success at the dinner last night - Pavati!
Today, to celebrate my 3 week AF I started with carrot/apple/lime/ginger fresh squeezed juice, that followed by 5 K brisk walk/run. It was not easy, as I my whole body was hurting from yesterday's cycling class lol. I have still a lot to do over the house, but I am so happy I am off from work tomorrow - Veterans Day! Good day everybody

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday everybody.
Thank you Lifechange. You are an inspiration to me too. You really are sticking to that name.
Dottie I get so busy over the holidays (everyone wants a clean house and all that extra stuff out, argggggh) that I am truly thankful when it is over.
Willow, giraffe, plans are so important and you are doing that.
Lav I honestly hate chocolate by the time this is over. I am working on a new turtle recipe this year. Dark chocolate with a twist offset salt on top of the chocolate as it sets? We will see.
Dave I am so proud of you. Sorry your weekends feel so empty right now. I wish I could share some of this activity here with you. Hubby decided to retile my living room in 4 foot strips. One each weekend!! Argggggh!
Have a great Mae everyone.:dog::dog:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Giraffe, 12 days is awsome! I really had a mood/attitood change on Day 13. Something just clicked and I knew this is something that I could do from here on out. Hang in there, the magic is about to happen! We are so glad you've joined us!

I used to hide AL in a hairspray bottle in my purse!! Lawd Half Mercy, am I glad to be shed of all that sneaking ...it was truly exhausting.

Have a happy AF Sunday, Byrdie

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Gonna post at midday here!

Gambler Dave, I was on FB today, and I saw this post:

Allow yourself to rest.
Your soul speaks to you in the quiet moments
In between your thoughts.

Pavati, you're doing awesome, sista! We have a lot of similarities, I'm seeing. My family also has quite a few alcoholics. But my family is supportive of me, and me of them. It's wonderful to have that. And in-laws!! Yes, they're drinkers, too. I didn't drink two weeks ago at nieces b-day party. I drank diet coke and looked like I was having a Captain and Diet, so no one asked me anything. I know, quite the sneak I am! Yeah, you're right abou the sex, lady!

Lifechange, CRINGE!! I cringe thinking how many times I must have smelled of alcohol! And so happy for you regarding your sis. Sisters are so special. So glad to hear you heard from her. I know it'll be a great visit without the AL interfering in your quality time together.

MyLuck, congrats on three weeks!

Have a wonderful Sunday evening!