Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Grandma Grateful
I'm glad you dropped in to say Hi!
And congrats on your AF time - you're doing great! Really make a huge difference, doesn't it? I didn't push myself to go completely AF until my grandson was almost 3 months old. I wanted to, needed to but I was also dealing with a spouse issue at the time. But, I'm glad I did because it gave me 100% access to my little buddy & for that I am truly grateful Do you live close enough so that you can see the baby often? You get so attached so quickly - look out!!

I don't know how wise my posts are but they are certainly plentiful - I have a little over 2000 of them now....I have such a big mouth!

Keep us informed - love hearing from you.
Congrats again,

Grandma Lav

[Grateful]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the congrats! My daughter is fairly close - about 45 minutes...she lives in Newark, DE. I wish she lived next door - but at least we are within driving distance! It really does make a big difference being AF - I was able to drive to the hospital at 2:00 am without worrying if I had too much to drink....I'm able to drive back & forth at night without the worries. I don't think you have a big mouth - I think you just have a gift for helping people. I have decided that I need to post more and not be so timid in lieu of sweet CowGal's current situation. I did post to her a few times....but maybe if I would open up more I could help people. Anyway, it's good "talking" to you.

[Mazzie]

Newbies Nest

Hi All

Lav and Grateful, Congrats on the grandies - haven't got any myself yet but looking forward to the day!! I really really appreciate reading posts from those of you who have been successful at living an af life for some time. It has helped me enormously to realize I can do this and can get through this and that the cravings and thoughts etc at some stage in the future will not be a bother or maybe not even be there!! If I thought I would still be feeling like this in say 2 years time I don't think I could do it but I am optimistic because of the people here who have done it and are doing it. :thanks:

To those in the same boat just starting out or trying yet again to get back on track, thank you too. I know I'm not doing this alone and we are all going through similar type of things.

I think its day 20 for me today. Really chuffed!! Just trying to stay focussed and keep my resolve strong. I have a day off today and it is such a beautiful day, clear sky, sunny and hopefully not as hot as it has been. Got my day planned and full and al is not part of those plans!!!

Have a great day/night everyone

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lav!
I needed that..pulling self up now!
Want to be able to tell you that I have managed atleast a week AF,so here goes.......
Chook

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Wow, Grateful - I'm going to PM you - I live about 15 min. from Newark, DE. We may be closer than you think I'm sure you will love grandmothering - it's a lot easier than parenting, for sure! You stay positive....you have every reason to stay on the AF wagon like I do!

Mazzie, congrats on your 20 days.......they will start piling up quickly now! You will feel stronger & more confident too & that's a plus Grandmotherhood has been very nice indeed. I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to feel about being pushed into that stage of life. Babysitting is a blast

Chook dear - you know I love you! I just want the very best for you & your girls. You are so young yourself........don't let this problem take up any more of your precious time! I'm sending you a big, big dose of Lavan-itude & I expect you to put it too good use, OK? Put a smile on this big blue face of mine

Greeting to our buddy Tranq who will most likely check in later.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the Nest - you know the night light is on!
Lav

[NewGirl2010]

Newbies Nest

Hi,
Just wanted to check in here. Been AF since Jan 1. Feeling pretty good about it. Lost almost 10 lbs since I quit and my red cheeks are calming down.
In the beginning I was staying sober as I was really excited about starting a new life, I guess I was on a bit of a high. Now that time is passing I feel that initial motivation is leaving and I am having MORE craving then I had in the beginning. Especially since we are leaving on a family holiday. In the past, during holidays I would drink, drink, drink...So preparing for this holiday is somewhat of a trigger. How come all holiday/resort adds picture alcohol in their ads?
Sorry, I kind of rambled on but I just wondering about other people's AF holidays. Is it possible? I intend to be completely sober.
NG

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

Hi MountainGirl. There's help here. Get the book - get a plan. Lot's of good people have walked this road - you're not alone in this. When al started affecting my work was a big wake-up call for me too. Sick and Tired? I know the feeling well.

HippyChick - Two weeks today. Yes!!! And 'now' you're ready to chill? Look out! Way to go!

Grateful - "I've been AF since 9/8/09" Wow Grateful - going on five months huh. Fantastic - any sage advice?

Mazzie - "I think its day 20 for me today. Really chuffed!!" You should be chuffed Mazzie! Twenty days is really nice - I think it's all about learning and building confidence.

Chicken - "Want to be able to tell you that I have managed at least a week AF,so here goes..." Way to go Chooks -- you've got a fan club! Go for it.

NewGirl - "I intend to be completely sober." I'm learning that is the easiest plan to stick to. I'd rather have no drinks at all than just have one or two -- if I could reliably stop after two, I wouldn't be here. Don't let the ads suck you in - al isn't at all like what they show on tv ;] And don't build your trip up in your mind as a big challenge. You've been fine for twenty days - go and enjoy!

Sorry if I missed anyone. Big Hi to anyone else stopping by.

Take care!
tw

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys. Just checking in to say hello.
Thanks TranqWilly.
NewGirl - I have to admit I have been thinking the same about a holiday -what is the point in going away if I cant get drunk?? Silly really isnt it as you go away to see other countries culture, etc. Drinking has always been a huge part of my holidays away - excuse to start earlier in the day and continue all day. My husband and I have traveled alot and I just cant imagine a holiday without AL. However, I keep getting told in here that I should concentrate on today and not worry about the future. Let us know how you go.
Grateful - congratulations on becoming a grandma.
Hi Lav - thanks for your encouragement.
Chicken - just keep trying - sounds like it is worth it.
Mazzie - day 20 - well done.

Have a good weekend everyone.
Hippy

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Happy Friday morning Nesters!

Hi NewGirl, welcome to the nest! Congrats on your 3 AF weeks - that's terrific! I undrstand your concern about going on vacation & not being able to drink. I went through the same thing last June about 2 1/2 months into my quit (and about 1 month into my smoking quit). Turned out I had a great time, very enjoyable! No hangovers meant better mood & increased energy to enjoy the day. I took great pictures & remember every detail of my trip. I was very proud of myself when I returned home still AF & NF! You can do it too & enjoy yoursef

Greetings to Tranq, Hippy Chick, Mazzie & everyone who stops in today!
Enjoy your AF Friday, I'll be back

Lav

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Hmmm! I think I drink to rebel...against people and circumstances that 'control' me!
That and to..'chill-out' when it all seems like too much...like I want to explode...
does anyone else feel that way and turn to AL..to take the edge off..and also to say.."stuff you"?
I know it's not healthy...I KNOW IT....and yet, little me,the gentle,quiet one....drinks (go figure!~)

Chook

[openheart]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone--quick quick check in. Have been having a tough time the last few days, but hanging in there. Kinda disappeared and retreated into my own world to get through it. But actually am HAPPY today! Me? HAPPY? Never thought that could be me. Destined to be dysphoric--that's what I always thought. Actually dancing, jumping, clapping around while I'm cleaning while listening to John Prine, and it is not alc induced--the dogs do not know who I am. Come to think of it, I'm not so sure I know either. But kinda looking forward to finding out.
Haven't read past posts yet, but will do that tonight--LOVE, OPEN

[jessie]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone Lavande, you remain a rock of wisdom. I derive a lot from your posts. Chicken yes, I relate. The quiet, soft one against two siblings with rather viscious tongues. Really defenseless against them. I love them but have now decided to keep face to face contact to the minimum possible without seeming obvious. For my own healing is now priority.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,

Chook, I have to tell you - I was guilty of the exact behavior you described for 10 years!!!!
What the hell was I thinking? I was thinking if I drank just enough I would keep my mouth shut, keep the peace & not rip my spouse's head off (even though he was really asking for it)! It was stupid, dumb, self-abusive behavior really......here I am now AF, doing my best to still keep the peace & still dealing with the idiot spousal behavior. I can't change him or his behavior but I have learned to ignore it & pretty much live my life around him. Not an ideal situation but it's the best I can do with what I've been dealt. I'm not going to let him or anything else drive me from my home & my family...I've worked way too hard all of my life to just walk away now

Open, mood swings can be kind of fun sometimes! Life would be too boring without them, I think
Whatever happens, just try to keep your eye on your goal..... You have been doing great!

Jessie, I'm not sure some days if I'm a rock or just a big pile of rubble....BUT I'm still here, still completely sober & making the best of it I grew up with 3 brothers - I know all about those nasty siblings.......Grrrr! Even as adults - it's still not easy being around them! Actually, I avoid them as much as possible!

It's only 7 pm but I think I'll say good night to everyone now - have a few things to do yet today.
I will leave the night light on - of course for the late fly-ins.
If anyone needs a little Lavan-itude to get you through the night - just help yourself
Be safe!

Lav

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone.
Chook I can relate to what you are feeling - drinking to chill out and take the edge off.... that is me to a T! Only problem with me is once I have "chilled out" I should stop there but cant. So now i am trying to find other ways of letting off steam. I have found if I get on the treadmill and pound away for even ten or fifteen minutes I get a relaxation different to the one AL gives me.
I also can understand about rebeling against people who try to control you. In my case it is not my brothers as I keep them both at a distance (for my own sanity - they have young boys who in my opinion lack discipline) but it is my mother who is really sweet, means well and has a heart of gold - however she doesnt know when to stop. Even now she (tries to) tell me what to do and I am 45! Even things she tells me to do that I was already going to do, I change my mind and not do it simply because she told me to! AAAAAhhhh....
Lav - thanks for the Lavan-itude... it worked. A few times when people walked past me with my (ex) favourite poison, my eyes did happen to follow the glass... but I chose not to pick one up.
Tranq - I tried good old fashioned honesty and told my (bestest drinking buddy) that I wasnt drinking and when she asked why, I told her. Not in the graphic detail I tell you guys, but I think she knew what I meant.
When I felt myself sulking at the fact that I couldnt have "just one" I tried to analyse what AL would make better about the situation. I couldnt come up with one reason that made sense so that was good to understand.
It's all just baby steps in the right direction for me.
I spoke to my husband last night who is on the other side of the world on business and to hear the pride in his voice when he told me how well I was doing was just so heartwarming. He has always discouraged me from stopping drinking because of what it would mean to his life - me being his constant drinking partner. But to hear him encourage me and to actually be proud of me - wow!
Anyway I have rambled on long enough. Was just gonna stop in to say hi but got carried away. Thanks for listening (reading). I needed that!
Have a good one.
Hippy Chick. :thanks:

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

Another week - starting to recover from the cold I picked up in sunny Florida. Also feel better to have left the al behind there too.

HippyChick - "But to hear him encourage me and to actually be proud of me - wow!" Sounds like your "drinking buddies" are a lot more supportive than mine. Definitely a good thing. You're right, there's not much that alcohol makes better.

"Even now she (tries to) tell me what to do and I am 45!"
You reminded me of a quote I heard recently: "Mothers, no matter how old they get, are constantly monitoring their middle-aged children for signs of improvement!"

Lav - "...dealing with the idiot spousal behavior. I can't change him or his behavior but..." Mmmm. Nope. Can't change anyone! Lord knows people have tried to change me. Only I can change me. -- 'The wisdom to recognize what we can't change...' or however it goes.

Hi Jessie! You sound well.

OpenHeart - "the dogs do not know who I am. Come to think of it, I'm not so sure I know either. But kinda looking forward to finding out. "

I smiled when I read this Open - sounds like someone who's opening their eyes and waking up! Still smiling! - Keep going.

Chicken! "I drink to rebel...against people and circumstances that 'control' me! That and to..'chill-out' when it all seems like too much...like I want to explode... does anyone else feel that way and turn to AL..to take the edge off..and also to say.."stuff you"? I know it's not healthy...I KNOW IT....and yet, little me,the gentle,quiet one....drinks (go figure!~)"

Yep. I recognized this in me too Chooks. I call it entitlement - or thinking that nothing bad should ever happen to me, let alone someone tell me what I should be doing. Trouble is al doesn't change the world in rebellion - it only changes us.

"Go figure?" If we were logical about it we'd quit in a minute knowing the damage done - gotta give the emotions room to breathe I think. For us feelings are big trouble - we wash them all away.

Take care all! Happy Friday!
tw