Newbies Nest

[NewGirl2010]

Newbies Nest

TranqWilly, Hippy Chick and Lavande - Thanks for the words of wisdom and support. I will not be drinking on this holiday. I will come back on this thread and happily proclaim that I had a wonderful and sober holiday.

Funny thing is, the longer I am without AL, the more these thoughts pop into my head "maybe you aren't an alcoholic. You have gone this long and it hasn't really bothered you". Not true though. I think about drinking a lot still and even had this dream that I was drinking a big glass of red wine. I can't imagine people that do not have an AL problem have anxiety about alcohol or even spend much time at all thinking about it. And, I do not think they have dreams about drinking. So time to get real. I effed my life up with drinking my brains out and its time to make things better.
Babbling on again but truthfully this is my only outlet to talk about this nasty love affair.

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hey NG.

Babble all you want! We listen.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about "people who don't drink" and what their life must be like. Never could figure it out, so figured I need to find out for myself.

I think that eventually thinking about al will fade. Don't get too hung up on your past - but remember what you don't want to repeat. Honestly, I've been pretty good since since last August, and the further I get from al, the less I want it in my life.

Take care.
tw

[openheart]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,
It always amazes and reassures me when I read the posts here and feel how much we have in common. Helps me to realize that it isn't any easier or harder for any one of us to make this change. We all have triggers and history and ingrained ways of reacting and stress and perceptions in our lives that creates that dependency on alc. Makes me feel less sorry for myself---kinda like, "buck up and get on with it"--I'm no different than anyone else and it is not harder for me than for anyone else. Thanks all for helping me to move past my pity party.

Yesterday was 30 days for me. I think one reason I was so "happy" today was that I felt free. I had not intended to do 30 days, but after reaching the 2 week mark, I thought, "What the hell--if I am this close I can do 2 more weeks." But have been stressing about reaching the 30--what then? What are my goals, as Lav asked? To not have alc take over my life like it has, I think. I am still triggering and that to me is a strong indication that I should keep on this path for now. As Tranq shared, I also don't want just 1 or 2--if I drink I want to really DRINK. It really doesn't seem appealing to have just one or two either. But today I feel free--I chose not to drink on Day 31 because I didn't want to get blitzed--not because I was trying to reach a self imposed mark. That felt like a weight off of me.

HippyC and NewGirl--I hear you about the holiday/vacation ideals--it seems like not even worth the money or the effort to travel somewhere if the experience can't go hand in hand with drinking. That is one perception I'm going to have to work on. I like what you said, HC , about not worrying about the future.

Jessie, Chook and Lav--Certainly can relate to everyone about the family triggers. It has been a paradigm shift to recognize that I don't need to spend my vacations with family--that it is actually not healthy for me at this point as it often just makes me feel badly for one reason or another. What is a cross between a vacation and a family obligation? An "oblication"! :H Would love to be able to be with family without feeling the need to drink to get through it--the ironic thing is I drink at family get togethers so that I don't get upset and think it helps to let things roll off of me more easily, but the truth is that I get less inhibited and much more confrontational, which really heats things up. Yuck. Then it is certainly impossible for me to "take the higher road" or feel self-righteous because everyone knows I'm sloshed.

Mazzie:goodjob: 20 days--woot woot! Horns blowing--balloons flying--way to go--you are cruising!
Tranq--you're comment about entitlement really hit home. I wonder where that sense of entitlement originated? Hmmm....I wonder if it really even matters to analyze it? Hmmm...maybe just recognizing it is enough for now.

Okey dokey smokeys--didn't intend to write a book, but you all are such good company!
:hOpen

[mountaingirl]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lavande and TranqWilly for the words of encouragement! I havent even thought about a drink the past couple of days. Tuesday after work was such a disaster, a drink is the last thing I want...
I tend to feel this way for a while after a binge but then after a week or two, and I'm not feeling ashamed anymore I somehow find the way to talk myself into having a bottle of wine, or beers with friends. 10 out of 10 times, I start the whole pathetic, perpetual motion over again and again. Will it ever stop?? I hope everyone has a wonderful evening and I will check back in tomorrow.

[NewGirl2010]

Newbies Nest

Openheart - 30 days is wonderful! You must feel so good about that.

"

Would love to be able to be with family without feeling the need to drink to get through it--the ironic thing is I drink at family get togethers so that I don't get upset and think it helps to let things roll off of me more easily, but the truth is that I get less inhibited and much more confrontational, which really heats things up. Yuck. Then it is certainly impossible for me to "take the higher road" or feel self-righteous because everyone knows I'm sloshed."

Exactly!! I know this!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

The Nest is open for business

Wow, congrats Open on your 31 AF days!!!!! Such a wonderful feeling, isn't it? That is when I asked myself - are you ready for 1 glass of wine? My answer was HELL NO! I was convinced at that point that AF was the way to go for me. Keep up the good work!!

mountaingirl, so glad to hear from you & congrats on your AF time as well. You can make a conscious decision to not repeat past behaviors - I did Sometimes it is helpful to keep a journal. Write down your thoughts daily & stay focused on your goals. Changing routines helps to change bad habits. Instead of drinking with friends - go do something entirely different. Go on your own if you have to for now.

Hi to NewGirl! Hope all is going well for you!

Greetings to all who stop in today. I heading out to enjoy a sunny day here
Will be back later.

Lav

[Grateful]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Lav. I've been out in this beautiful sunshine and am heading back out soon. Just wanted to let you know that I sent you a pm. We live very close to each other! I hope you enjoy your day and get as much sun as possible before the rain comes back tomorrow! Hi to all the other nesters and hope you all have a great day!

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

One down!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chook

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi!

Way to go Chicken.

Congrats OpenHeart - 30 days is a huge accomplishment. Keep moving forward!

Newgirl, Mountain you guys are doing great too.

Hi Lav and Grateful. 40f here today but a little rainy. Should wash some snow away.

Take care all.
tw

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,

Hope everyone had a good day!

Grateful, I did take advantage of this nice, sunny day. Took the pick up truck out & came home with 8 bales (bagged) of wood shavings for the hen house & 2 bales of straw for their (soon to be) muddy yard!!!! This is hysterical behavior for a girl born, raised & living in suburban Philly until 6 1/2 years ago :H You really never know where you're going to end up, do you?

Chook - Day 1 :wd:
Keep going girl friend, I know you can!!!

Tranq, 40 degrees - woo hoo, that's a real heat wave for you
We are expecting rain here tomorrow but at least I don't have to shovel it!

I lit another candle for Cowgal today - sounds like she's coming around. I hope she has a full recovery........what a scare.

Wishing everyone a safe, comfy night in the Nest - the night light will be on.
:h to you all.

Lav

[suzycaboo]

Newbies Nest

chocolate, chips and booze

Sweaty Betty;520347 wrote: Hello hello hello. Am on Grumpy day 4 again (after modding). I want chocolate and chips and nothing else. I went back to bed and slept till noon. I didn't tick anything off my to do list. But, I got showered and put on my slap, and am going out to buy some new paints and brushes for the HUGE canvas that's been waiting for me. I have 9/14 AF days in January, which I'm sure I wouldn't have done if I hadn't found MWO. Thanks everyone for sharing. B.

Hi,
I hear ya about the cravings for chocolate and chips. Getting off booze can create cravings for such foods. I know a fair bit about alcoholism but not enough yet about caring for myself. I continue to go to places of temptation and live with a man who also drinks, though he doesn't understand what it is to crave certain foods.

I wish I had the courage to stop enabling my drinking problem.

Is My Way Out a whole different approach to getting sober than going to A.A.? Or are some people here involved in A.A. too?

Whatever, it looks like a good forum. I need to be here to get sober and stay that way. Drinking is so interfering with my life. I can't take this anymore.

[openheart]

Newbies Nest

Hi fellow nesters,

Welcome, SuzyC--you will find lots of good and supportive help here from lots of different people from all over the world who come to the table with a history of experience with alc. struggles. Have you checked out the MWO book? Lots of excellent help in there to get started. Stay close and read as much as you can--post anywhere, you will be welcomed with open arms and hearts. I started here last August after years of alc overtaking my life and affecting my marriage and outlook and potential, but here I am am now closing out my 32nd af day--never thought that could be me. You can do it, too.

Hi to NewGirl, Grateful, Mountaingirl, Tranq, Chook, Lav--so glad to not be alone in this fight and to have all of you on the team.
xxooxx
:hOpen

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Congratulations Open on 30 days - my next goal. Hope you all have a good sober Sunday.

Hi Suzycaboo and welcome. Sounds like you are in the right place. I dont want to offend anyone so I can only speak for me personally. I went to AA for five years a few years ago. I had trouble with the "higher power" aspect of it cause I dont have one. I know that alot of people are and I respect that however this is how I feel. I am not a religious or spritual person and couldnt pretend I was.
I have been visiting this site for 17 days now so can only compare what I have found in those few weeks. The people here offer suggestions on how to solve problems that come up when you are drying out or craving or how to deal with situations where you feel you may slip up and have a drink (or ten). I dont know if it was just my AA group but I never got help with how to deal with things.
The support I get here is fantastic. I am a very practical person and find the suggestions given throughout this site are great because that it was I need to hear. I need to be told how to deal with situations and what stops me craving, I need to be told to grow up and be an adult, I need to be told to deal with today and not worry about the future.
I know I am still a real new "Newbie" however FOR ME this is the right place to be.
I hope you stick around and read as much as you can.
Take care
Hippy

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Well said Hippy!
chook

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Wow Hip-c, that was really well said.

The bit about having to grow up made me stop and think -- but you're so right! I agree. I used to think that drinking to relax or solve problems was part of being an adult. Ha!

Welcome Suzy-Q!

Hi Chooks! Have a great day everyone!

-tw