Newbies Nest

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning!

I do so enjoy reading the days that members have been sober.
Juice this am first just warm lemon water, then fresh oj, then coffee and more juice later. I am doing a pomegranate, apple, carrot this morning. Yesterday, I did throw together a quick bake maple/walnut pie. Catering business it is!

Does anyone else here or has anyone else here had premonitions through-out their life? I know this may also be a anecdote with no real, science back basis, but I have to think that it's real for some, real for me...

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

GWAWK! Happy alcohol free day everyone! I'm not drinking today.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Wow Willow... a week! You can do a week! I don't know how much or what you drank but do you really think you are still detoxing? WE all seem so 'together' even with all the crap! As an aside, I did think about getting wine yesterday but when I went out to run errands completely forgot about getting some. I wish that for you today.

How old are you? How old were you when you first started drinking? Obviously, don't answer if you aren't comfortable dong so.

I may have offended some members, not sure, but I wrote something about being here a while back, I do not remember my 'name' but wrote that I would come here and pour wine knowing I would log on. It made me feel like a fraud. This does not mean I think others are a fraud. We all come with our own intentions, mine was to get support to not drink, not find another way to be comfortable drinking... not really seeking support in my mind when I come with bottle and glass. I can see how it would be helpful though to read that others are going days, months and years not drinking- whether or not one has put down the glass yet.

I noticed many members also has quit numerous bad habits, as have I. deeper than I wanted to think about in my early years, I did do some 'coke', I did smoke cigs and pot and later when I had multiple kids, I was given xanax to cope. I have given all of those up. This seem so different to me. It feels so different. I can't remember being nearly as obsessed with those vices. I know I had to somewhat, especially cigs and xanax.

Today I will not drink.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

I'm 33. My parents let us have the odd glass with dinner occasionally so 9 then, but that was low alcohol topped up with lemonade so I doubt that influenced me (could be wrong!). Then in my teens like 14/15 onwards me and my friends would drink cider in the park. That was ok though, I could have gone without it, it was more of a 'wanting to fit in thing'.

I guess my issues kind of started when I was 19/20, I would get pretty drunk sometimes. I had depression then too so drinking didn't help that. I recovered from that, still carried on drinking but much less as I was working a lot. I really noticed a difference after I had my children - I love them with all my heart but it's hard work being a mum and even harder when your DH works long/crazy hours and there's no family around. So that was probably when it really got going, about 5 years ago. I drank wine, every 2 days, 1 bottle to start with which has increased to two at a time usually (sometimes more). So about 60 units a week. I've had various breaks/quits along the way too, it's not been a solid 5 year bender. In a way, I wish it had been, it would justify why I'm struggling so much today. At one point I honestly didn't think I was that bad, but that's the AL brain talking. It's not normal or healthy to drink that much. It's not normal to get stressed and crave a drink.

I've never had any other habits - I did used to smoke a long time ago, but I could make a pack of 10 last two weeks. It was more of a social thing and it wasn't hard to quit at all. Alcohol is a different story! I can't just have one - if I did, I wouldn't be here!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

GWAWK-

I quick check in on my way to work. I will read back tonight when I hope to have more time. Long day ahead including the dentist (yikes) and my counselor.

Happy sober Tuesday!

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

Willow23;1584185 wrote: At one point I honestly didn't think I was that bad, but that's the AL brain talking. It's not normal or healthy to drink that much. It's not normal to get stressed and crave a drink.

Hang in there Willow - you can do this. I think we all thought we weren't that bad and that's why it took so long (at least for me) for the realization to hit. We can rationalize just about anything. Personally I hit rock bottom. Others wake up before that happens and quit. I denied and denied it for so long and kept reasoning in this way: Alcoholics need a drink in the morning and drink all day long. By the end of the day, they're drunk and barely functioning. I don't need a drink in the morning - therfore I'm not an alcoholic. WRONG! Truth is, by the end of the evening, (not all evenings, mind you, but 4 or 5 out of 7), I too was drunk and barely functioning. I just got there in a shorter period of time I guess. Cravings would start after work around 5-6:00 on the nights I wasn't playing tennis. On the nights I'd play, when I'd get home, glunk, glunk, glunk and down went the wine. Had to make up for lost time you know. Didn't see it happening. Others did though and talked behind my back about my consumption.

Anyway - I think you're on day 7 which is huge. You'll hear from the senior members how important this first week is. It's the hardest by all means. Stay tough - don't listen to that al voice. It only means you harm and destruction even though it speaks seductively as it tries to lure you in. Keep posting and reading and stay as busy as you possibly can. Divert your thoughts and energies to something productive and that will allow you to smack down the al voice. Oh and eat!

Life really is so much better af. :l

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Willow, 2 bottles is a lot. While I am sure I have done it, I usually passed out by the time I was at 1 1/2. I wonder if there is something to having a different environment, meaning... some people seem to have much better LIVERS! It's interesting to know and think about the different cultures. My family also gave me alcohol young, but more as a JOKE. Like, look she is drinking! (at 7 ish...) But I have read numerous time that if someone starts drinking prior to finishing puberty they are much more likely to become dependent. I am in that group. Just like you 14/15 drinking with friends, using older people's IDs to buy.
I abstained through my 35+ years of drinking also. Usually only when I got pregnant or some other life event prevented me from drinking. NOW, I can not get pregnant and don't have that to help me stop.

Willow, YOU aren't THAT bad! ~You will always drink less than someone and will always drink more than someone. It's how it is. ~ None of us are identical. Yeah, obviously, we are here for a reason, we sought HELP, want help... that means regardless of THAT bad, we don't feel good at the present status-quo. I haven't felt good about my situation probably since it started! That's very hard to think about. Decades of not really feeling good about IT.

I hate thinking about 'normal' and even healthy sometimes. I did a physical a year or so ago, my oldest daughter, not much of a drinker- looked at my blood work up and was a bit angry that I was 'healthier' than her. With the (a)stigmatism of drinking 'we' all face a huge mental monkey on our backs. In some cultures the shame is not there for drinking. I used to say- I am moving to France, F U all! -

Also, from experience. Raising kids is hard! Very hard and lonely. Somehow we get this grandiose idea that kids will make our life complete, will make us have purpose and then wow, we loose our identity and life takes us, propels us into a steady stream of something we can't control or stop long enough to get a good look at. We don't get a chance to feel how wonderful now is because we are always looking ahead at something. "When they are out of diapers, life will be easier" "When I don't have to carry or push them, life will be easier" "When my husband gets a job with normal hours, life will be easier" The truth is, life is great RIGHT now. Truly. I would love to go back and live every hard moment I endured all over again and let it's warmth enter me. I miss it all.

I am doing a meditation thing. (again, I do them when they are free) It helps me so much to calm my mind. I know you have little ones, making it so much harder to do, but maybe just after they go to bed or prior to them waking up- or both... listen to it. It calms my soul... https://chopracentermeditation.com/challenge)

Walk passed the license free(?) liquor store... you will feel so good at 7 days! BTW, I don't think the urge to have a drink ever goes away. I don't say that to discourage you or myself or anyone else. It's just that it's a part of us, much like a cookie for me goes with milk and although I rarely eat sweets now, I still do crave a cookie with milk from time to time. (AND I didn't have those as often as wine!) I still crave a nice boiled dinner or lobster... I hope to have alcohol get to there, that place someday. Will it happen? Who knows... I am okay with knowing I may always crave it though.

Wow. Long winded. Sorry. I need to make a plan for the day.

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone - I seem to be in a much better mood today. It was nice to wake up and have to count to know what day I was on (day 9). To me that means I am not concentrating so much or as I have said before (obsessing) about AL so much that it consumes my whole day and night. After work I have kept myself busy, I ran my kids to the doctors to get their flu shot then off to the gym and made it through an hour and 15 minute work out, I also stopped and tanned. I like to tan when it gets cold and snowy out because I miss the sun so much. Then too the grocery store to pick up a cookie cake for my HB 33rd birthday, then finally home sweet home had dinner with the family, showered, sang happy birthday and off to bed. It was great, normally I would have taken the kids to the doctor, picked up the cake and 2 bottles of wine then straight home to drink while my family ate and we all sat in the living room and watched tv but I sat in my recliner drinking my wine away until I had had way too much then scarfed down some crappy food and ate way too much of the cake and stumbled to my bed to pass out not remembering exactly what happened after about 8:00. This life is so much better! Thank you for the support my friends.

To those of you who are really struggling you have to hang in there and fight it, it will pass I promise. Its definitely not easy, its very hard but you have to push through it, the last thing you want to do is start over because each time you start over it seems to get harder and harder to quit...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

MAE and Gwawk to the Nest!

Way to go Dream on your 30 days! Love your new avatar. Yours too Kradle - what a little angel!

Speaking of smoothies - I make a protein shake in a blender just about every morning. Happy to share recipes too - is there another thread being started for these? Have a juicer but rarely use it because I dont' want to clean it!:H

Got the first snowfall last night and this morning it was pretty. Not much accumulated, thankfully, but love to watch the dogs romp in it! Sorry Lav - but we did send it your way!

Feel so behind on happenings here in the nest but will try to stay a little closer. I definitely want to hang out more as we approach the holidays. Can't even remember a holiday season without AL. Having no children, never even got a nine month reprieve in my life! So, this will be another first to add to my List of Firsts. I can remember feeling so awful on Christmas day that I'd have to go back to bed so I wouldn't get sick.

happy AF Tuesday everyone. Check back later....

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Just had a quick skim through so will reply properly later, but just a very quick thank you for the support. I am currently in a restaurant, decided to take the kids out for dinner. I'm on the sparkling water though, I don't have a problem not drinking in restaurants ironically, even I can see that ?6 on one glass of wine is ridiculous - much better to buy a whole bottle for ?5 and get wasted ( that's not my plan tonight by the way, just explaining why not drinking is restaurants is ok for me). I did walk past the off licence and because I was busy talking to the kids I didn't even notice.

Be back later - sober.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
A little snow here too, glad I didn't have to go out in it...it is kind of pretty in the back yard but not too much that I need to fire up the snow blower...
Going to try to catch up today...hope I make some progress.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

:jumpwow:IMSTRONGANDINCONTROL:jumpwow:
HAS 30 AF DAYS!!!!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

DreamThinkDo;1584220 wrote:
:jumpwow:IMSTRONGANDINCONTROL:jumpwow:
HAS 30 AF DAYS!!!!!

AND SO DO YOU!

GREAT JOB, BOTH OF YOU!!!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesties!

Just doing a quick check in...I was away for 3 days and WOW so much to catch up on. I'll be back later when I have time. Hope you're all well!

K9

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Congrats on the milestones !! Wow, that's great. 30 days. It's seems just so amazing to me that you are all doing so great... while I am navigating the head games my brain is playing with me.

Willow, how great for you! Glad you did not even notice that you walked right by. That's just a weird feeling isn't it?


I looked at the bath tub a few minutes ago and thought, would be nice -with a glass of wine. It's 10:30 am! lol What's that? I should water the plants- with a glass of wine. I should organize my bedroom and make the bed- with a glass of wine.

I will not drink today.