Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sunny but still quite chilly around here

MR, whatever you choose to do today ~ don't drink!
Drinking is only going to keep you in that dark scary place.
I am sorry that you have suffered so much abuse, lots of us here have dealt with similar situations.
Nothing is going to change for you until you make some changes. Delete that Facebook account! I'm on Facebook too & I can see people doing a lot of stupid shit on there that they will eventually regret. Just delete it & think of that action as part of your sobriety plan.
You are not hopeless, you are in the process of changing & improving. The MWO CDs helped me put a positive spin on my thinking, use them if you have them. Use any sort of online meditation you can find. Stay connected to us today & know that you certainly can reach your goals!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday!
Lav

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Lav - I have always hated FB. Don't know why I reactivated my account after being off for years. It was one of my ex-husband's favorite ways of discrediting me in public and making me feel even worse about myself. And that's when we were still married! Also how he hooked up with his twinkies. I already deleted my account. Wish I had done it earlier. Thank you.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

GWAWKY MAE, Nesters
Moss, I'm so sorry for your suffering. This blank screen is a great place to put it all. Just put your fingers on those keys and let 'er rip. We're here for you. Those that don't want to read it can skip to the next post - no harm, no foul. But I suspect there are very few that will. Our stories may all be different, but the pain, raw emotion and thoughts about it all are what we share. Drinking won't make it better? What will?

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Mossy I know how emotions can be overwhelming when we stop drinking. It feels like being on a rollercoaster sometimes. I had to learn how to deal with real feelings after numbing myself for years. Very frightening. And I said and did some incredibly stupid and selfish things. Cried an ocean and laughed like a manic.
You are not alone. Just please don't drink because then you will have to start this whole tedious process over.
Read and post. We are here with you. Seeing you go through this, struggle and grow proves that mwo really works and through a support system we can get through really tough times like this.:l:l
and thank you for letting me know that I'm not the only one going through this.

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

You all are amazing people. I knew you would understand. Although I am sad that so many of us have had to endure this emotional pain. My plan was to stay home today, but I knew in my heart that was a bender waiting to happen. So, I forced myself to get dressed and come to work. These emotions are overwhelming me. But, my former way of coping - getting drunk - is off the table, so now I'm lost. I suppose my lack of coping skills is what got me into this mess in the first place. Anyway, being around other people is helping. Although, I know I need to seek professional help. Thanks again for the support.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Moss-

Can you seek relief in another way today? Can you find a kick boxing class? Go run stairs after work? Beat up a pillow? Cry? We all know alcohol would just make this predicament worse, or at least your feelings about it. The nest is a happy place because it is a place we can let it all out - solutions OR problems. Bring it here - we're here for you.

Broken Halo - that was a wonderful way to start the day. Thanks for the great post.

Happy Sober Thursday, everyone.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

MOSS- It could be worse, as I read it, your post the first time, you had a run in with the NYPD and it involved the FBI. I was waiting for a really big saga to emerge on this thread! Great thing about facebook, not only can you delete your account BUT you can delete all your posts. I know sometimes not being alone in our "stupid" actions isn't a good thing because then we can say "Look how many others do this" or "Wow, look at what they wrote, my post wasn't so bad" but truly so many millions of people post bad stuff on facebook. One day my very first boyfriend came across my feed as a friend of a friend. I LOST IT for weeks. lol Seriously, little girl foolishness and bizarre behavior. EMBARRASSING STUFF that only got worse when I drank! THANK FB creators for the delete posts options.

Some form of- YEP I posted a bunch of stupid shit, BUT that's NOT all of who I am. (Was in order for me to even face myself in the mirror...btw, I have 4 grown children and one tween, and I still did this stupid stuff.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Now, I realize there is a HALO and a BROKEN HALO. I may have gotten a few names wrong here and there. I may have posted to the wrong person. Heck, I say if anyone reads my post and you don't like something, don't considered it written to you, if you do like something consider it yours! HA!


What time is morning? I woke up this morning to 3 pages of posts! 3... it wasn't even 7 am my time yet. UGH. I am drinking the offered morning coffee and IT'S COLD!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hey Moss, I just want to add my support to what the others have said. The Nest is a great place to come and get it all out! That's what we're here for-- to support eachother through the difficult times. It was smart on your part to go into work. Keep on making those sorts of decisions-- take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. I hate FB, too-- you've deleted your account, so you don't have to go there anymore. It takes time to heal, to forgive ourselves. I think you are a wonderful, honest, compassionate woman-- this all takes time. Be gentle with yourself.:l

[Linwin]

Newbies Nest

Hi
Day 3 feeling a little shaky.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Willow, Now I remember you saying in an earlier post that you are home schooling your kids. WOW! Respect. It seems like I've heard it's becoming more common to home school in the States-- is that right? You're doing a great thing, getting your life in order, getting sober while they are still so young. The kids are so resilient, so open and willing to forgive us. We just have to love them and show them who we really are. "Just" she says!! You know what I mean!!

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

LENTIL SOUP
3 cups dry lentils
7 cups water
2 tsp salt- Himalayan salt is what I use
6-8 cloves garlic(chopped up)
2 cups chopped onions
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
2-3 carrots peeled and diced
Optionals- pinches of :
Basil, thyme, oregano, fresh ground pepper
2-3 ripe tomatoes diced, red rice vinegar

I am doing mine all day in a crockpot but this can be done on a cooktop more quickly. I also, baked two sweet potatoes that I am going to start the stock with. The stock is the onions, celery, garlic sweet potatoes and seasonings of my choice first stirring with butter then adding in some of the water. I like to add my water in stages so I can mess with the food. I have had it all just dumped into a pot, also come out just fine and makes it less maintenance.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Cool, thanks for the recipe. I used to use lentils a lot when the children were babies but it seems to have fallen by the wayside. I'm going to make lentil burgers tomorrow - looks like we're all going lentil crazy!

Lin - drink lots of water and rest if you can. Hope you feel better a bit later, make sure you eat plenty too.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Oh and I think homeschooling is quite common in the States but I'm in the UK so I still get a few weird looks when I tell people ha ha!

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Isty - you are so right. It could have been much, much worse. And I have read endless stories to that effect here. So, I do apologize. When my anxiety gets severe, I can't always think straight. At least, here I am safe. The FB incident was just the catalyst. I was already in trouble even before it happened. The anxiety attacks are back with a vengeance and I haven't learned new ways to soothe myself yet. In the past, a couple bottles of wine would have been the answer. I really thought when I got sober, the anxiety would get better, but somehow it seems worse. I overreact to everything.

So now, I have seriously damaged my reputation with many people that I do care what they think - friends, family, coworkers - even the people here. I am ashamed at how weak and stupid I am behaving. There's nowhere to hide. But, Isty, I do appreciate you putting it into perspective for me. I'll really try to get a grip

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

LINWIN- You are right behind me, I am on day 5... I am not shaking today. I was shaking a bit on Day 1- which is a little odd because I wouldn't have drank on day 1 anyhow. But I was thinking about quitting and had just done one of my binges. That means I drank two days in a row and not every other day like I normally do. And on those two days I started at around noon both days! Why? I have no idea. Because I could, so I did.

To help with the shakes- eat little portions of something healthy, do you have maple syrup in the house? Real not Aunt Jamima high fructose. If so some of that in warm water will help. I mix mine with fresh lemon and a little cayenne too. It is a drink I have done for a long, long time but it helped me a lot the first three days too.

Hang in there. Do you have a goal in mind?