Newbies Nest

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! How are you all??? One more wonderful day! I am getting ready to walk 5 K and then may be (???) go to a hot yoga class. I will check in in the evening if I survive lol

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1585971 wrote: accidentally deleted the part where we dropped our pants for Itsty!!Itstym! Congrats on your 7 days! Congrats Itstym! I know you've been here before, but something is different this time, isn't it? It would be great if you took a moment to tell us about it. ALSO, would you PM me - I'm behind on some posts and this maple syrup, cayenne, ACV etc. - I know I've done it in the past, and the hot water and lemon . . . I just don't remember WHY!

Pavati;1586140 wrote: Night, nest. Put a fork in day 14, it is DONE. Too late for reading and reflecting.

Pavati - great job! I started getting anxious around Day 14. I thought of the future upcoming events and (although I did not want to drink at that moment) I wanted a drink (in the future) and was quite cranky (understatement). The IBS kicked in bigtime. (irritable bitch syndrome as my husband lovingly calls it). I force myself to live in the moment, one day at a time. I'm not drinking today.

Yesterday we took out another couple - it was a celebration for them. I was depressed, tired, and down all day (some health stuff, but I am depressed and I don't see a doctor until December). I knew I wasn't going to drink and was concerned that if we ended up in a bar it would really make me cranky. Luckily, that didn't happen. I used the "medical tests on Monday" excuse - we were celebrating his graduation from nursing school. After in-depth questions about my tests, and when they were, he decided it was ok for me to have a glass of wine, and plopped one down in front of me. I knew I wasn't going to drink it, but didn't have the energy - or care enough to bother to continue the conversation about it. I took a sip during the toast and that was it. No angst about it at all, and no one mentioned it again. Reminds me of the time I was sitting at my Aunt's dinner table (it was her 85th birthday) and I repeatedly refused alcohol. I took a gulp out of what I thought was my water glass and it turned out to be gin! I guess her daughter-in-law really needed a drink!

Thanksgiving week won't be so easy. I don't have a plan. I don't want to make a plan. I want to have a drink or two, I'm not going to lie. I'm going to start a thread about it elsewhere, as I need to journal/explore/plan.

Today, I'm not drinking. I'm moving stuff away from the windows - tornado warnings. Going to make cheesecake cupcakes (sorry NoSugar) for a bake sale tomorrow. I'm not the baker or bake-sale type, but it is for charity and there's no wine in the recipe, Dottie! You better throw away that cookbook!

Hope you all have a great day today.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Went next door last night for a dinner party. There were 3 other couples there, and everyone drank but me. No one asked why, so that was nice, but I was ready if they did...between the 6 other people drinking red wine, they polished off 6 bottles....(and YES, I DO pay attention to how much others drink!). Hubs had half bottle of white. I had diet coke. It was still a mind numbing evening....we had NOTHING in common with these people. They were big golfers and sports fans and we aren't. The hostess's lasagna wouldn't seem to heat all the way thru so the meal went in slow motion....we left shortly after dessert which was at 10! I will say this for AL, it DOES make people more interesting! They were getting loud there at the end, and experts at everything. Gads, I'm so glad I woke up this morning with a clear head. I could smell the wine on the guy's breath next to me and it sure made me remember the headaches! My hubs did drink and he didn't have a great time either so there you go. Some crowds click and some don't! I was happy to get home to my dog!!

Hope everyone has a relaxing Sunday! Getting ready to hit the road next week! Hugs and strength to all, Byrdie

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Saturday Night Out

So, I went out last night. It was a bistro with a live band playing and lot?s of Al.
I was debating with myself at home for the past two days. Should I go out to a bar? Am I ready?.

Finally, decided to go.

Also decided beforehand I AM NOT DRINKING.
And sure enough it worked. I think someone mentioned that before (being prepared to ?deal? when it?s right in front of you) .It is a part of the plan. Once I knew I am not drinking (before leaving the house) I had no struggles at the bar. I saw people drinking; hey we were sitting at the bar. And you know what? It didn?t bother me at all. I wasn?t even thinking about it. All I was thinking about was my new sober life and I much I love me and my new life.

I also think that if I was not debating with myself BEFOREHAND, I would have a problem dealing with it at the bar. Don?t leave the ?Will I drink? ? question-unanswered before going out. Deal with it at home and know the answer. If the answer is a firm NO, then go out and have fun but if the answer in un cleared or leaning towards some yes and no, I say stay home. Just my opinion of course.

So, going out and socializing is great and is an important part of our lives but it can be done without AL. I enjoyed the band, I enjoyed the company, I remember EVERYTHING that happened last night and I woke up feeling happy and clear minded. I was drinking cranberry juice with ice so I am assuming people around me were thinking I am having a cocktail (still not ready to deal with ?how come you?re not drinking??)

Have a wonderful AF Sunday and rest of the week. I am not drinking today. Honestly, I don?t even want to

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Hello, how is everyone doing today?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I'm Strong....why don't you MAKE a plan for Thanksgiving? Unless you already have and that IS to drink. I have a post from a couple years ago...let me go find that.
If we COULD control our intake and turn it on and off like that, NONE of us would be here! I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's important. We are ALKIE's and as such, one drink only leads to another and down the rabbit hole we go.
Sorry to be a downer, but I've seen this and DONE THIS 1000 times and it ALWAYS ends the same way, I'm sorry to say. Make a plan to be AF over the WHOLE holidays! It is so much easier than starting over.

Let me go find that post.....Byrdie

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

HAHAHAHA!!!! LOL Love it!


Itstym! Congrats on your 7 days! Around here we give prizes for such things!
GWAWKers, please drop your pants for Itstyme4me!



Heres to kicking Al's arse for 7 full days! You have conquered every day of the week including a Friday! Great job!!!
Heresj to many moons ahead! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I'mStrong....here you go as you can see, you are not the only one with this dream!




Byrdie: "Belle...when you hear me refering to going down the rabbit hole...I am talking about the thoughts that make you want to drink. One thought leads to another, until finally, thoughts are actions and you are sucked in. I noticed it when you mentioned that your 30 days would be up the day before Thanksgiving...and that a glass of wine with the meal would be grand. This will get you in the hole in a hurry....Take the wine off the table (figuratively and literally) and you will be glad you did. It puts you in a state of turmoil.

You want Peace, right? Let us go down the rabbit hole together...shall we? There's the family....all gathered, giving thanks. That one glass of wine in front of you. What are you thankful for? blah, blah, blah.....and it goes around.

Before you know it the solitary glass of wine is gone. Someone pours you another....(oh you shouldn't, but it IS Thanksgiving, after all). If you are able to stop at 2 you are a better person than I am. I would dare to say that even if you didn't have any more....the next day you'd feel the GSR brothers...(Guilt/Shame/Remorse). And alas...this is FRIDAY....the best drinking day of the week! And a day off from work...I bet you go to the store and get some of your old favorites...

Then it's the weekend...and then you've blown it totally and why not drink... everyone else is??? The whole holiday thing sucks...all this wine around, why shouldn't I be able to drink like everyone else?

The next thing you know, the holidays have come and gone...and you don't even know where they went. (the line that spoke to me...)

You find yourself feeling anxious, alone and depressed....because here you are right back where you started....Day Freakin 1. If you are me, it's was this point I didn't care if I lived or died...everything I had worked for had gone to hell in a basket.

BUT, let us back up for a second, and relive this whole thing of my rabbit hole theory. Your 30 day anniversary is celebrated by your friends in the nest! And day 31 is Thanksgiving. You wake up with a clear head and are able to enjoy your food and the people. You are sober now, you don't drink. You don't so much RESIST the drink as you do REFUSE IT...you actually remember the day (what people said) and you are FREE of the demon that wants so badly to live in you. The next day you feel like you've won a victory!! YOU HAVE DONE IT! You've gotten thru your first Turkey Day without AL! On to day 32, and girl I'll tell you, no drink tastes better than being sober feels.

By Christmas, instead of being a blurry mess, you will be in control!! No guilt! No Shame! No Remorse! You will never regret being sober. You know how the story ends...make it happen!!! When you feel your thoughts going there....tell yourself NO! HELL NO! And recite the Pledge of Allegience, or name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves.....do anything you have to do to get that thought out of your head. Don't go down the rabbit hole. I've been there and trust me, there's no good to be had down there. Keep your quit no matter what or no matter who!!! I'll be perched up on your shoulder and I will knock you up side the head if you think of having a glass of wine!!! Deal??? Love you all!! Byrdie"

__________________

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey all. Not read past posts but wanted to drag my sorry hungover ass in and say I'm back on day 1. This week has seen me have a few drinks here and there but last night I had wine and some whiskey. Who am I kidding. I just want to get back on track! I know I can do it but always seem to flunk. I'm thinking maybe I new more one to one support. Though the nest had been super useful I am finding it challenging to keep up with everyone and their posts. Any suggestions?

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE,

Wow, this is the conversation I had with myself last night. I knew I wasn't going to drink last night, but I was in a conversation with myself about "how long." That is the question my husband asked last night, and my sisters, too. And my mom who just went 3 months without drinking and said she didn't really notice a difference (she is someone who used to overindulge and is very much in control now). My dad used to overindulge and is very much in control now. So I kept asking myself, "how long."

This is weird for me because I am a logical person who reads a lot and believes in science. The science and experience of the people who have been successful here say that I should not drink again, yet I have a niggling question in my mind - can't I try? Believe me, I have read and read and read, and the rational part of my brain says no, but I still am not sure. I even read the 100 dayers discussion about wanting to fast forward the newbies to see how wonderful an af life can be. But I am in the mood I'm Strong is in right now. Hard to write because I know the responses will be "get a grip" type of responses, but there it is.

The good news is that 30 days is after Thanksgiving, and I will not drink today. I will continue to read and reflect and listen to the advice here. One day at a time.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, MinStar

Glad to see you back. A few things you might try came to mind:

Stay connected daily here in the nest and post before you drink.
Start your own daily AF thread and commit to keeping it up-to-date.
Reread the toolbox and refine your plan.
Consider a face-to-face program such as AA.

Glad you're ready to get back on track!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Pavati

It sounds like your parents might be the exception that proves the rule or perhaps they weren't truly addicted before.

I sometimes think I could drink moderately but am stopped by these thoughts:

Why risk being wrong?

What are the true benefits of drinking for anyone? If a doctor prescribed a medication for me to reduce anxiety or whatever but it had the known side-effects of alcohol, I wouldn't take it! I've always been afraid of the side effects of medications and really, self-medication is why I drank. I just didn't understand that before.

The freedom from not planning to drink and how much, acquiring it, trying to drink it slowly, and on and on is priceless. I don't want to make the time for it anymore.

I hope you keep this conversation going - it is so important for all of us to consider.

Have a great day!

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

GWAWKY MAE Nesters

While the boys are at church I have a little time here.

Dottie Belle;1585973 wrote: before tasting all the goodies read the recipe to see if there is wine in it.Hi Dottie. I was wondering about that. Doesnt the cooking basically cook all the AL out of the food though ? I can see if its a cold dish that it wouldn't..but a cooked dish ? .. or is it just the principal of it

Way to go on your 7th birthday Its4me ! You sound great..and its good to see how generous you are with your time on the boards.

Myluck;1586086 wrote: Did we had a drink? Heck NO! Water with lemon please. I used to goto a bar in Florida just to watch the bands. Even though I still drank at that time I never drank at the bar. Ordered water with lemon just like you did. I also tipped the bartender 10-20 bucks just for taking up his tipping seat

Pavati;1586140 wrote: Night, nest. Put a fork in day 14, it is DONE.

Congrats on the 2 weeks Pavati ! This is where things got interesting for me..in a good way :-) . I also wanted to say (again) that your writing is such a pleasure on the eyes. Thank you for some good reading.

lifechange;1586152 wrote: Gwawky MAE! Nesters! I'm feeling 1000% better than yesterday and I did wake up in the middle of the night SO grateful that I didn't do anything regretful. Relief.

You sound great LC ! Funny how this Gwawk thingy took off. It was actually just an off the cuff thing. I never intended or thought it would stick like this lol.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday thus far. I hear about this bad weather coming for some of us...good thing my plans constitute a bunch of hanging around the house

Yesterday was kinda cool..I got the little whippersnappers interested in hanging up my moms beads. The same ones that were in my room hallways when I was their age. Old hanging beads are now adding another facet of family history for them. It took almost 20 minutes for the younger one to stop playing with them lol. Everything else was going well this morning until Mom came for the church pickup..she told the guys to wait out in the car ( I knew something was up ). Well she found out about me getting a lawyer and that there was a counterclaim, exclusive use of the home filed and a hearing set for later this month. Needless to say she started to ask about the custody arrangements. A little late in the game now that we have a court date set. Yet I still want and try and work things out to no avail. So I have a little anxiety right about now. It shouldn't even be in my head questioning whether or not she is even going to bring them back after church..but it is.

So last night I was thinking about MWO and my sobriety in general. How in the world I ever accepted AL as a part of my life is unfathomable when looking back at it. What did it do for me ? .. Where did it ultimately bring me .. Well I truly believe that if I stayed drinking then all hope for me would be in Great turmoil right now. My life would be spinning out of control. The intensity of emotions I have for my children are beyond something of which I can live without. Realizing that If I had continued to drink during this life changing event it would almost certainly have been cataclysmic for my life. I cant express how thankful and blessed I am for you all being here. I hope you fully understand the level of expression I put behind these words. There is very little chance or even no way at all that I could be where I am without the support and strength I have received here. :h I get the feeling most of us know exactly what Im talking about..so no..I dont feel exclusive with my thoughts

Well Im going to get going for now..but I should be back after I drop the boys off later tonight.

Dave.

PS. my anxiety is much calmer now .. funny how just writing your feelings out helps :-)

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Pavati, I think that most - if not all - of us Newbies here have asked ourselves that question. What I'm going to say now may upset people, but we all have to make our own decisions. I think that a well-thought out decision to drink is much more acceptable than a WTF response to a craving or an event/situation. BUT: I also think that such a decision should have its own limits, such as I'm going to have something on Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years/my birthday, and it will stop there. A form of single-event moderation, almost. Received wisdom is that that will inevitably lead to uncontrolled drinking. I don't know. I think it depends on the person, how secure he/she is in his/her quit, emotions, etc. This flies in the face of many people's experience, but each of us is an experiment of one.

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

I have been struggling alot lately too. I want to quit now but I have been told by some that I need to wait to see my doctor appointment first because I have had seizures from al withdrawal. Seizures are very scary and I do not want to have another one, but I was wondering can they be life threatening?

Also, found out I might be going to Japan soon. would that be good or bad to do right now?