Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all again.
Dave it was more the principle of the thing..I know the AL cooks out but didnt want to do it anyway.
I had a drinking dream last night..good grief.....I was in the fridge at someones house who knows where but anyway there were 4 wine bottles on the shelf and I took one out, opened it and smelled the wine...then thought to myself that I don't drink....so i put the cork back in and put it back...I remember dreams like this when I quit smoking...telling myself that I don't smoke....wonder what I ate before bed that triggered this or is it just the time of year and we are all thinking about it....hhhhmmmm

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

DTD, you are so right, this really is an individual path for each of us to navigate. I know for a fact that no one could talk me out of trying to make moderation work. I hated that it didn't work for me, so I have paid close attention to this idea of special occasion drinking. I have also noticed that we here at MWO have many more similarities than differences as it relates to AL.

I wish I hadn't had to learn everything the hard way, I could have saved myself a tremendous amount of despair. I would ask you to do a couple of things before you experiment with your quit.
This site is a collection of nearly 6 years of experience. Take a look back in time......right here in the nest, for example. You will possibly see the same people fighting this battle then are the same ones that continue to fight it today. I know that no words of mine can change anyone's mind if he/she is bent on trying it, but maybe the words of countless others will help. When it comes to addiction, we are virtually the same. Why would the idea of special occasion drinking work? More self awareness? More control? Ask yourself why would this work now when it didn't work last year or the year before? As you can see, even with the great support of MWO people still fall. There is no evidence to support the notion that you can "just have a few here and there". Ive tried it myself and I have looked. Once a pickle, never a cucumber. You can't moderate addiction. Ive taken plenty of heat for this stance on these boards, but if I can help ONE PERSON finding this out the hard way, it'll be worth it. Save yourself the agony. Ask yourself the hard questions....was quitting for 30 days easy for me? Am I longing for AL now? Normal drinkers don't pine for it, they can take it or leave it.

If you find yourself on a forum for help with AL, i hope you have your answer. You can take the easy way or the hard way like I did, the result will most likely be the same. We have lost the ability to control our consumption of AL. Let it go, you will never regret a day you spent sober. Byrdie

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

LOVELY Why Japan?

I strongly suggest that if you have had seizures from stopping AL you don't go cold turkey but try to start cutting back.

So many great posts! PUT A FORK IN IT Yippee for day 14! Congrats Pavati!

Dave, great post! I know a guy that quit drinking for more than a year through his divorce- and he didn't even have a drinking problem to begin with! But I think that the action has some real merit, why chance it? You are doing amazing things for your kids. Let us know that they are back, ok?

Min It is hard to keep up with everyone, every post... I don't expect anyone to do that and I am sure the others don't expect it either. It can be over-whelming and for many including myself, sometimes depressing and just too much to take in at times. You have to protect yourself. Don't feel guilty for not participating in any certain way, you don't need that guilt. Take what you need from the site and relieve yourself of anything else. NO GUILT!!!

It's a beautiful chilly morning. I hope those in the states with warnings stay safe.

Going to make a late cup of coffee...

Thanks all for the Congratulations and bare asses!

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks No Sugar and istym4me.
I have been toying with the idea of my own thread. Would be easier to follow and I feel I need the one to one support.
And Yes the guilt or just unable to keep up is something I need to get rid of :-)

Just my experience- but any moderation I've done has eventually led me to my normal drinking habits. I would say I am an all or nothing person with AL and I choose Nothing.
Nearly done D1.

Thanks again

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

LittleBeagle- thanks, I type fast! lol It's doesn't take long for me to write far too long of a post!

IAS&IC I sent a PM. Usually the lemon etc.. is for cleansing, but I use it almost daily. I have bags of Lemons on my counter and in the fridge and in juice form, in mason jars in the fridge always. I also use it as a face/body wash and never use soap. There now you KNOW way more about me than you needed to. Seriously, though, more women(and men) should use lemon topically. It reduces wrinkles, lightens age spots, tightens skin, kills germs... doesn't cost $100s for a small jar but works better than anything in a jar. For that beauty tip, I should be rich! When I juice carrots and apples I use that pulp also. I make it into a paste for face masks and also as a body scrub. I put good sugar and honey in the body scrub and dead sea clay in for the face mask. The vitamins and pectin work wonders on the face and that bad area between the breasts that gets all wrinkly from being squished when we sleep. When I make good teas- most of my tea is bulk- loose tea, I save that too, also making body scrubs and face masks. Another great body cleanser is to bath in the tea, just put it in the tub and the hot water makes a tea bath... then I rinse and add coconut oil. SO GOOD FOR THE WINTER DRY SKIN!
Why did I start doing all this? I have no idea but have for decades. I never liked how soap felt and have always been scent sensitive, I guess I just naturally went NATURAL.

DTD This certainly is our own journey. I agree that making a decision is to be left up to each of us. It's certainly better than the lack of control we have all faced! Wow, what a huge step that is. Going from not even realizing how much you have drank for months, years... to saying "I think I will drink on ______ day." That's huge!

" much more acceptable than a WTF response to a craving or an event/situation. " Does this mean... "WTF I'll just drink". ? I doubt many of us even think that much, or thought that much about it. I know for me, going to the liquor store was just part of the routine. I didn't need to think about it anymore, I just knew I would go to get wine every other day.

"Received wisdom is that that will inevitably lead to uncontrolled drinking"
It's certainly the majority. IDK either. I believe that with all the stats out there WE just don't hear from people who move on, or truly just end up not being able to drink 'like they used to'. I have heard so many depressing stats, I have often thought- WHY bother at all. Less than 3% of people actually quit and remain sober. Well, gee, that SUCKS! I had to come to terms with thinking that any sober day is better than no sober day. I know I am wired to drink in a manner that 10% of the population drinks, to the extent of over-indulgence. That percentage is surely a guesstimate- most people LIE!

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters,
Yesterday was a successful "party" day. No, I didn't drink, that's why it was successful! My son's 16th birthday was wonderful. I kept busy, getting people food and drinks, cleaning up, talking, and the night flew by. I realized that in my drinking days, I was never without a glass in hand. Last night, I'd bought AL free wine. I had one just for the sake of having something in my hand once in a while. Most of the time I didn't. That was a difference that felt a little strange, but good. I got everything cleaned up, and relaxed afterwards proud of my accomplishments. While I was relaxing, I was looking at FB. One of my relatives pics posted him with a martini in hand. I looked at it, and was amazed at how I stared, kind of remembering having that martini glass in my hand. It looked soooooo innocent! Just a person enjoying one of my fav drinks. I had to go deeper and think of what that innocent drink did to me. I guess "It" likes some people and dislikes others. Can't be offended. Just like we get along with some people in life and never with others, I'm not going to let that interfere with my happiness. So use these opportunities to see AL for who he really is. Not an innocent, pretty-lookin drink, but a trickster, who can ruin us just as fast as we drink him.

And thanks Byrdy for helping everyone to remember and know that "special occasions" are not for us. We can have special occasions, but not with "dick head."

Have a wonderful night! Going out to dinner to celebrate my big/little boy's 16th birthday.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

" proud of my accomplishments" I bet pride is a rare feeling for most of us with drinking addictions.

Sounds like you had a great night! J-Vo

[halo]

Newbies Nest

istym4me;1586508 wrote: LOVELY Min It is hard to keep up with everyone, every post... I don't expect anyone to do that and I am sure the others don't expect it either. It can be over-whelming and for many including myself, sometimes depressing and just too much to take in at times. You have to protect yourself. Don't feel guilty for not participating in any certain way, you don't need that guilt. Take what you need from the site and relieve yourself of anything else. NO GUILT!!!

Great post istym4me , I feel like min does alot and really appreciate the above post, guilt is a huge AL trigger for me and I can't feel guilt over the MWO which is supposed to help me stop AL! Well said!!

:l

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

DreamThinkDo;1586457 wrote: Pavati, I think that most - if not all - of us Newbies here have asked ourselves that question. What I'm going to say now may upset people, but we all have to make our own decisions. I think that a well-thought out decision to drink is much more acceptable than a WTF response to a craving or an event/situation. BUT: I also think that such a decision should have its own limits, such as I'm going to have something on Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years/my birthday, and it will stop there. A form of single-event moderation, almost. Received wisdom is that that will inevitably lead to uncontrolled drinking. I don't know. I think it depends on the person, how secure he/she is in his/her quit, emotions, etc. This flies in the face of many people's experience, but each of us is an experiment of one.

Your journey is your own and I certainly tried to moderate too. But my question to you is, would you expect someone who once had a heroin addiction to be able to use heroin on special occasions? Maybe just once on the weekend?

We try so hard to believe that alcohol is different than "drugs" because it's legal and socially acceptable. But it is a drug too. And an addiction is no different, in my opinion.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Halo- so many triggers. Didn't even think of the guilt one until Tyme4me posted!

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Even though that I've concluded it would not be safe for me to quit cold turkey until I haave my doctor's appoinment I am still trying to cut back as much as I can until then today I had alot less than I usually have by this time I am makiing some progress.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Wow flyaway that is something to think deeply about! Addiction is addiction is addiction. I have never done heroine maybe someone that has could chime in on this.

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Good night nesters , I hope everybody had a great Sunday. I never did 5 K today - but I did a lot do house cleaning, grocery shopping and .... Actually went for the first time for HOT yoga. What can I say? I am still alive, after 45 min in 105 degree room! Holly cow! Some people there were sweating a lot - me - drop here and there. I usually not sweating really easy. Anyway, I heard this is good for getting toxins out of the body, I am sure I have quite some stored by consuming AL for years. I hope this will make me sleep better talk to you all later!

J-vo - congrats on you son's 16 birthday. My daughter just turned 18!!!

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Well hello y'all!

Been awhile sice I have checked in, lotsa milestones! Yay!

Congrats to Pavati and Isty!

Isty please tell me again what the lemon water and the apple cider vinegar are for. I can't read back far enough to find out and I am very interested in trying them!

Actually Isty I think you should start a section for "recipes" for your scrubs, masks, detoxes, etc.

Dave- you sound absolutely , positively, beaming. This AF life is a real treat isn't it.

Life down here has been fantastico! I have been sewing to beat the band! I made my mama a beautiful apron for Christmas, very retro and colorful. I am currently working on one for my mother in law. I have lots projects lined up for christmas, so I'll be busy! I am going to sew burlap with different colorful linings, and monogrammed of course, and fill them with homemade jams and jellies and various other things!

Gotta run! Have a great night y'all!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Busy day here
Good evening Nesters!

Loveless, reducing your AL intake a little each day shouldn't cause you any problems. I hope you are remembering to drink lots of water & tea as well to stay hydrated, AL dehydrates us. Stay in your plan until you see your doc & be sure to ask about traveling overseas while you detox. Stay safe!

Min, you have had many starts & stops. I know you really want to quit so what's holding you back? You need to be totally honest with yourself, no room for BS in your sobriety plan
Have you considered counseling or AA?

I have to agree with FlyAway & some others - addiction is addiction, doesn't matter much what the substance is. You either want to quit or you want to continue using. It's entirely your choice. Just don't be fooled by the typical addiction thinking ~ 'I can quit (later) whenever I want'. That is pure BS!!!!
I quit smoking about 6 weeks or so after I quit drinking & it was much harder for me, much harder. I know, deep down that if I ever light up another smoke - I am screwed
I absolutely cannot quit again, just can't.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. I hope those of you in the Midwest are safe tonight from those monster storms.

Lav