Newbies Nest

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

JustCheckingin2C I know many people think they will find a magic pill. It's not one. Kudzu with LGLUT can help elevate some cravings but it will also make drinking seem more powerful I get buzzed more quickly and strongly if I have kudzu in my system and drink. Read as much as you can from the information sections on the site.

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, just got back from a walk to the park with my son. first time weve gotten out and done something in a while because i was usually always drunk before noon so i would be too embarassed to go anywhere. it felt good, but i still feel so guilty....

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Loveless;1587255 wrote: Hello everyone, just got back from a walk to the park with my son. first time weve gotten out and done something in a while because i was usually always drunk before noon so i would be too embarassed to go anywhere. it felt good, but i still feel so guilty....

Lovely, none of us can undo the past - but we can work on today and tomorrow and all the days that follow.

Your son is still young, and you can still have a wonderful AF future with him. Remember the past - how bad it was, how you never want to go back there, but don't let feelings of guilt overcome you and prevent you from achieving what you want.

Wishing you many more more sober walks in the park with your boy!:l

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Another quick hello this morning - I am on my way to work.

Awesome going, Jelly.

Lovely, do you remember anything from before you were three? Concentrate on making the best future for you and your son.

I have to check, but today or tomorrow J-Vo has 30 days. Way to go!

Happy sober Tuesday, everyone. DTD - I kinda wish it did start with an upside down cup of coffee. Hmm.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Oh, and My Luck - you have 30 days, too. Speech, speech.

[Rhapsody]

Newbies Nest

Hi
Hopefully i am posting in the right place! Basically, i drink a bottle of wine every night. I have recently been having one af night a week, sometimes two but never two in row. I know to some people ot may not seem that bad but to me, now it does. Part of me would like to think its just habbit, but, as the day goes on i usually start thinking about having some wine to relax when the kids are in bed, also i get panicky if theres no wine in the house and i will go ot and get some - because i want/need it.

I want to be able to have just one or two drinks but i cant,Im an all or nothing type of person, and i want to stop because im suffering with some other health probs at the momnet, and i just want to feel human again. not tired and grouchy due to alcohol fuelled sleep deprevation. foggy headed, hot and sweaty.

If anybody has any words of wisdom i would be grateful, thanks. x

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Thank you guys! yes, I know there is not point in being guilty about the past and that he probably does not remember alot but he definitely knows what is going on.... even though i did not get drunk befre we left, i still had a couple to keep the withdrawal at bay but still had some shakes....i was holding his hand and he said "are you cold mommy?" because of my shakes, i almost cried....but still, i am hoping to start getting out with him alot more and make new memories. i do not want him to be ashamed of me....

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Lovely great job. If you can start to do what others are doing, push the hours back, you can go a bit farther soon. I am hoping a local library might have kid activities. While he is at story or craft time you can be close by and still posting on MWO or finding our what other programs they might have for you too! Guilt has to be released, it is a feeling that paralyzes us. it's very hard for me to replace the self-berating, but it's essential to move forward.
Can you do some cooking with him to try to keep the drinking a little further out again?

Dave It's a little windy here, I was just yelling to my son as he was getting ready for school... "Ben, Ben, why did the bike fall over?" (He just got a new bike-I know I should have saved it for Xmas) he yells back "WHAT BIKE?" (I am sure he was worried his new bike was hurt somehow.) PUNCHLINE DELIVERED- "Not funny Mom, not funny at all" I FEEL FUNNY!!! I am hilarious! ~
(Do you want to explain the get slapped or laid at the end of your post... ?)

I still have some loose questions out there, I have read all the posts over the past ten days here in the nest or so I thought I did but have yet to see if- Anyone knows how the founder of this site is doing. Is she still moderating? Has anyone witnessed anyone actually being able to moderate? This site attracts people for MODERATING but the STRONG force is NOPE- you will NEVER BE ABLE TO DRINK AGAIN so quit fooling yourself. This seems a little ironic that "WE" all probably came here thinking at least to attempt Moderation BUT the advice dispensed prior to some people even trying it is "Forget about drinking ever again".
I do believe I read that there were family members of a few on here that learned on their own to moderate. A curious revelation.

Amounts of alcohol consumption- After LOVELY posted about the amount of alcohol the young man who won one of the Survivor seasons was drinking. I did a search trying to figure out HOW much that really was and what it equated to in terms of beers or wine. I ran across a site that will fry your brain if you think you drink/drank alot! WE HERE PRESENTLY ON MWO ARE LIGHT-WEIGHTS!!!
How much did you drink on average - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I read pages and pages of that thread and found that most of us here do not drink to this extent. That doesn't mean we don't have problems! I know I can pass out at 1- 1/2 bottles of wine. I rarely have ever been able to drink more than that. I would have had to start very early, moderate and go into the night to finish 2 bottles and that just hasn't been how my addiction works.

There is a distinct difference between beating yourself up about it and feeling low (which IS destructive to addictive thinking) and examining and learning (which can prevent another relapse).

I would take that further and say- (which is destructive AND addictive thinking) I can't get a percentage to put on this but I would guess the Majority of us were or are addicted to beating ourselves up!
This is something I found on that site. It's a point I have been trying to make about how we talk to ourselves. We get our payoff by beating ourselves up or by letting others beat us up. It gives us 'permission' to stay where we are, in the comfort of being less than we sometimes yearn to be, it gives us ways to remain as is. NOT doing something is certainly easier than doing something. With a little more effort and a little more belief in ourselves WE can stop the negatives that keep us stuck and move onto something that we can be proud of, or at least not ashamed of.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

RHAPSODY- How old and what gender are you?


"I want to be able to have just one or two drinks but i cant,Im an all or nothing type of person, and i want to stop because im suffering with some other health probs at the momnet, and i just want to feel human again. not tired and grouchy due to alcohol fuelled sleep deprevation. foggy headed, hot and sweaty."

You have all those symptoms from a bottle OR less a night? What are your other health problems?
I would suggest that you download the MWO book, read up on Kudzu and LGlut- neither of these should be a bad mix with meds. I think I researched that before. I would say if you are on anxiety meds. and many of us were or are- ALCOHOL with that can cause extreme swings and a tougher, stronger drink. Because Kudzu can exacerbate the drunken feelings, make you feel even drunker like the anxiety meds can, you have to be careful!
There is a toolbox thread- You might fnd lots of information there too.

Welcome to MWO!!!

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Has anybody ever heard of or used a software program called "Rosetta stone"? I am trying to find things to do to keep myself busy, and i thought of getting rosetta stone to try and learn japanese. its just something ive always really wnated to do. and boredom contributes to my drinking as i am home alone with my son all day and its all i thnk about. i need some hobbies....

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Lovely We bought it for my son, French, last Christmas. My computer wasn't set up to play it. It's pricey. Maybe, you can find a used one on craigslist? Good for you!

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

hmm...what type of computer was it? i JUST bought this computer a month ago so it SHOULD work. i have
always wanted to learn japanese especially since i go there so often. i just need something to keep myself busy, because ive done nothing but look after my son and drink for years now....i need new, positive habits lol

[Elvis]

Newbies Nest

istym4me;1587272 wrote: Has anyone witnessed anyone actually being able to moderate?

I was part of a moderation group for several years and there were a few members who were able to moderate long term. I check in once and a while and they still seem to be doing okay. They may be exceptions to the rules though. It's also hard to tell if moderation works, because I don't know if people left the group because they were able to moderate and didn't need the support anymore, or were not able to moderate and either went back to drinking, or decided to quit. When I left, I let them know if was because of the latter.

It's A LOT of work though to moderate. I equate it to having a second full time job. I'm not interested in moderating. I tried that and it didn't work for me.

[Elvis]

Newbies Nest

Pavati;1587129 wrote: Elvis, how's it hanging?

Doing great! Thanks for checking!

I woke up this morning and the first thought was that I should bring my work out clothes with me today. So I guess I'm going to the gym later! :H I'm gonna start up my Couch To 5K program again. I made it about 7 weeks into it last time I tried. I wish it didn't get so dark so early this time of year, I'd much rather walk outside than walk on a treadmill.

GWAWKY MAE!

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

The problem I have now is that it seems like every hobby that I have....always makes me want to drink at the same time...for instance, when im cooking, on the computer, watchng tv, walking, anything....I always feel the need to pour a drink...I need to find a way to take my mind off of it...

also, from peoples experienut im worried it may be the only optionces, if you have physical withdrawal and seizures, im wondering if i should just use medications to help, or if i should actually go to detox/rehab? i dont know how i would do that, as I dont know who would stay with my son...b