Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MEA all,
I am still sneezing and hacking...this has been a non productive week...but I must get better. They are having Thanksgiving at my dads nursing home tomorrow and I am bringing a side dish so have to go.
Busy nest but so many good posts..I am grateful to be AF or this cold or whatever I have would be so much worse.
I agree that the moderation thing always comes up this time of year..I have been there done that many times and have proven to myself that it is NOT a possibility for me..so I have resolved that I will survive the holidays without. And I will feel so much better and remember it all...

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Yes, it was just a bit...I have not puked yet today, but i have been alot lately. it was after drining vodka usually i dont drink hard stuff it was only because i was shaking so hard. i feel so bad that some of this stuff happens in front of my 3 year old....he always asks me about why im shaking all the time....I dont know what to tell him, so i say its because im cold....

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

I am going to try and be mindful from here on in.

If this conversation runs through my head:

"I will have a couple of drinks again eventually"...."I love getting drunk"...."I'm missing out on so much"

Then I will eventually live that reality.

So I need to change that chatter to:

"I will never drink again, I do not need it"....."It only makes me a worse person overall, and eventually it will catch up with me one way or another".

I am going to try and change the movie in my mind and hope that it plays out in reality.

Just like if I tell myself I am not good enough at sport, I will more than likely have a bad performance. This is no different.

I was just flicking through some pictures from last year. I have not progressed at all in a year. Back then I was drinking stupidly, spending stupid amounts of money and painting the town red. I will look back this time next year and be happy at what I have left behind.

I want a career. A girlfriend. My own place. A happy family. No lies. Alcohol will not let any of that happen.

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Yes it is kind of ironic. Most people drinking to forget about their problems, but as time goesb y, drinking is what causes most of the problems! I dont even know at what point my drinking stopped being a choice and i started needing it to physically function. I cant even make my son breakfast or stop shaking until i have that "first thing in the morning" drink. I see my doctor in 6 days but i am very uneasy. on the one hand i cannot wait to be af, on theo ther hand, i do not know if my doctor is going to put me on medications to offset the shakes and seizures, or if she is going to suggest rehab....I don't think i would be comfortable with leaving my son for a week or morre...

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Londoner - A huge lightbulb went off for me when I switched my thinking from "I CAN'T drink anymore" to "I don't HAVE TO drink anymore". It was very freeing! I could look around at others that HAD to have a drink in their hand, and here I was having just as much (if not more) fun without the ball and chain of a drink...or the excruciating hangover the next day. Plus I was able to remember everything that happened to me and know HOW I got home and not scared to look over and see who was next to me. Freedom from fear and anxiety is what I got when I "gave up" drinking...not a bad trade I'd say!

Loveless - I am anxious for your doctor appointment to arrive...be completely honest, they can and will help you, but they need to know what they're deailing with. I know it's scary and hard, but you can do it...I have faith that you want this more than anything. Hang in there friend.

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1587859 wrote:
Loveless - I am anxious for your doctor appointment to arrive...be completely honest, they can and will help you, but they need to know what they're deailing with. I know it's scary and hard, but you can do it...I have faith that you want this more than anything. Hang in there friend.

I DO want this more than anything, if I dont stop I am going to die. I know that much....
I do not know how I am going to tell my doctor or what i am going to say to herr...I have had seizures from not drinking, and I wake up every morning shaking violently...i tookk and online quiz and it said im a stage 4 alcoholic, i am just nervous because my doctor doesnt even know i have a problem at all, let alone how bad it is....also, i am worried she will be angry about me drinking with my rheumatoid arthritis meds, which can cause serious damage.....i am hoping for a way to stop and get me through the withdrawal without seizures, but i do not want to go to rehab because i dont want to leave my son alone with my husband (who also drinks) i dont know what i would tell him too.....

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Well let her be angry if she wants...you can tell her "I know it's not good, that's WHY I'M HERE...please help me!" I think you should tell her what you just told us...that you have seizures when you don't drink and you shake violently every morning. Honesty is not always the easiest route, but it is the one that will get you the help you need. You can do this. Remember that the doctor is there to help you, not judge you...so don't let her. It is what it is, you don't owe any explanations of why or how it got this bad, what you need is help from this point forward.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Hi all - I did a search today of Roberta Jewell's posts - I hope it is not inappropriate for me to re-post this one from 2010; it answered many of my questions, and I hope you find it useful.

"Hi, gang.
I'm here, but very much in the background these days. When I established this forum nearly five years ago, my goal was to create a self-sustaining online community to support people in recovery. As you old-timers know, I was very much involved early on and it required a tremendous investment of time and other resources.
I am simply unable, at this point in my life and career, to dedicate the same amount of energy to this forum. Like you, I have a job, kids, and many commitments. It's no reflection of my interest in this community or the people who participate. It's life. I’m sure those of you with the same personality traits (perfectionist, controlling, workaholic) have come to understand how important it is to let go, find balance, and focus on your health as you work on overcoming your alcohol dependence.
We now have a forum of nearly 12,000 members, with over 1,000 people coming to visit each day. I am deeply moved every time I visit the board and see the generous spirit shown by so many of you who reach out to others in need of help. Thank you for that. It’s really what this place is about—not me, or my life, or my personal journey. I remain diligent in my efforts to stay sober (I am now abstinent), and I don’t think I would have gotten here without the choices this program offers. I encourage everyone to take from MWO what is useful to them, and to lean on others for help. The support of family and friends is important. The support of others who suffer with the same disease is critical.
As a side note, I would ask that each of you respect our members’ privacy—whether me, or anyone else. Nothing is gained by exposing another’s name, location, or personal communications. We have worked very hard to ensure that everyone is protected in this regard.
A belated Happy New Year to each of you.
In health,
RJ"

What brought me to this site (with repeated bouts since 2011?) was the thought that I could moderate. Evidence is beginning to convince me that it may not be possible, and with that comes knowledge and acceptance about myself. I am so much more comfortable and content in these last few weeks of abstinence - I'm am in "such a different place" mentally and emotionally about it. I'm on this journey and I don't know where it is going to lead, but I am going to stay on it. I do not want a life filled with drunkenness, remorse, guilt and shame. I'm not drinking today.

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

....yes, youre right. I dont know why i find the thought of telling anyone about my addiction so terrifiying. But I know I cannot do this on my own.

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

I will brb, not feeling that well.....

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Evening folks. Head still a bit achy but nowhere near as bad as earlier. I will not be touching the Haribo tonight, just in case it was the sugar making me feel ill.

Our house went on the market this morning and we had a viewing this afternoon. I'm trying not to get too excited - it's only one viewing and it could take months yet, but man, it would be nice to move.

Hope everyone is ok - can honestly say I've not thought about drinking today as I've been so busy. End of Day 3. Bring on the fun and games tomorrow!

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

IAS&IC

Thanks for posting that!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Day 2 here and feeling good. I need to keep on here and post and accept the support this site brings. With all the stress in my life it is still not an excuse to grab a bottle or two and I dont want to. It is nice to wake up tired but not hungover.

A drive to work without the thumping head will be a wonderful feeling.

Have a great day/night everyone.

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Back again, looking for support

I'm 37 and took 2 days off work to drink. Now I'm guilty and sick, but at least I knew to come here for support. I'm trying to keep my mind off drinking but it keeps popping into my head; just 750 ml wine, it'll make you feel better... but it won't and it won't help me get into work tomorrow.

I hope other newbie's are hanging in there, I just had 10 days AF and the night sweats were just dying down. Why go back??

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I found it so easy to be sucked back into the AL pit in the beginning....I had to find other things to do..post here and eat and drink water with lemon...It seemed that if I had something to drink I was OK. It was the habit of drinking something, keeping my hands/mind busy..
Hang in there it gets better..the first 7 days are the hardest...don't give up!!