Newbies Nest

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

That's crazy Allan. And incredibly rude.

DH has been teetotal for nearly 2 years - he wasn't a big drinker anyway but seeing me drunk put him off even more. My mum (who isn't a big drinker herself) was quite shocked when I said recently that he doesn't drink at all - I think she thought he had the odd one. Says a lot of how society views alcohol that even someone who hardly drinks thinks it's weird when someone else doesn't drink.

Anyway, because this quit is so recent, I haven't really told anyone that I'm not drinking, as I'm not prepared for the million questions. One day though I'll be happy to tell anyone and I already feel quite proud that I'll be able to do so.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters

Allan, what an experience. What caught my attention was the girl saying that she had never met anyone who does not drink. That is a really sad state of affairs.

Coffee, Life's oatmeal with toasted sunflower seeds and my chilli chocolate muffins (from a box:H) on the menu. (Life, I took that last cheese croissant when you weren't looking, ok?)

A serene AF Sunday to all.

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Allan - I'm truly surprised. I know quite a few people who don't drink, for one reason or another, and I have never seen such a strange reaction.

When I am out with old friends and I pass on a drink, people notice. But that's only because I have always been the first one to the party and the last to leave. Uck. My reputation precedes me. But, someone you just met?? That's odd. And as the others have said - just plain rude. I would be offended if someone I just met had the nerve to question me about anything, especially about my decision not to drink.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Tess I am so happy to see you! Welcome home. I haven't been around as much lately, my job is keeping me busy on the computer so I tend to stay away from it afterward. Seems we've missed some drama of late!

Allan she sounds like a real loser. I have never come across such a hostile reaction from a stranger. My friends mad family are mostly supportive but occasionally they seem baffled, asking me why or when will I start again.

Londoner you're sounding very strong, that's awesome! Planning ahead seems to be key in getting through the weekends eh?

Nesters I hope you're all strapped in for your Saturday night. Isn't Sunday a great day when you're not waking up with a headache and feeling like sh!t?

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good Gwawky MAE Sunday, Nesters!
DO, I'm glad you ate the last one! Out of sight, out of mind.. I'll have to think of something really nice for tomorrow since you don't like oatmeal. What a shame that your mom ruined it for you!! Thanks for the coffee-- delicious, as usual. In fact, I'm going for a 2nd cup.

Willow, I believe today is day 7 for you!!:wd: Well done, lovely lady! You are such a thoughtful, strong and dedicated soul.. So glad to be on this journey with you. We are so lucky to be figuring this all out now. I didn't realise your DH doesn't drink at all. Good on him. I was wondering if you celebrate some sort of "Thanksgiving" in the UK? Anyway, wishing you a relaxing Sunday.

Tess, good to see you again! We don't really know eachother, but I remember reading your posts. You're coming upon a year! What a great accomplishment. I would love to hear more about how it's been for you--

Allan, Damn!! What a strange reaction that woman had. I haven't really been out much yet to bars or places where people drink a lot, so I don't know what a "normal" reaction would look like. I guess I always assume that people should respect the decisions others make. It's none of MY business why you drink or don't drink and I would try very hard not to judge you for your choices. Good you found out how she is early on!!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

oooops, Pressed the wrong button!

I just wanted to add that I'm starting to get a kick out of saying I don't drink. It is happening a bit more frequently, now that I'm daring to go out and about and now that it's the holiday season, that I've had to tell people that I don't drink. I haven't had any negative responses, just questions. I still feel a bit awkward saying I don't drink. Especially to those who I think might know that I had a problem-- But it is getting easier and I'm beginning to enjoy being "different". I've always felt different anyway-- and for so long I haven't been living true to myself, because I've been afraid-- not just with drinking, but with other, less problematic lifestyle issues. I'm beginning to live how I WANT to live, not how society says I should live. Does that make sense?

Londoner, I'm so glad you had such a great sober Saturday night! Interesting that noone else was drinking either. Very cool.

xoxox to you all and a wonderful day..

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Allan. That is absolutely disgusting behaviour. So a woman has gone from being flirtatious to all of a sudden hostile because you don't drink alcohol?

God!

Maybe some people would have tried to explain themselves, but you made the right decision in leaving right there and then.

Who wants to be around someone like that. And that is a sad sign of today's society - you are looked at like some sort of freak if you do not drink.

It's got me thinking though. How do people react if you tell them you have a problem with alcohol?

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Welcome back, Tess; so nice to "see" you again!

I have not been on MWO or posted often,but it's comforting to know the Nest is still here; i find great solace in it.

It's Sunday night in Australia. Here's hoping everyone's had a nice AF weekend!

best wishes,
Steady

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for your replies everyone. It is good to know that people support and understand you.

The good thing is that I am up at 9 am after being to a late party whereas they are probably in bed right now with a massive hangover, thinking that guy was probably right

AK

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Londoner;1589432 wrote: Wow, Allan. That is absolutely disgusting behaviour. So a woman has gone from being flirtatious to all of a sudden hostile because you don't drink alcohol?

God!

Maybe some people would have tried to explain themselves, but you made the right decision in leaving right there and then.

Who wants to be around someone like that. And that is a sad sign of today's society - you are looked at like some sort of freak if you do not drink.

It's got me thinking though. How do people react if you tell them you have a problem with alcohol?

Hey Londoner, that is true.

It is never being looked at as a virtue but rather like leprosy.

From my experience, trying to explain or justify your choice usually makes things worse.

So I totally understand your posts about how difficult it is not give in to peer pressure involved when out in bars / clubs.

Allan

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Totally true Londoner. Now, if you don't smoke or your trying to quit smoking or if you quit drugs, there's so much support (quite rightly, an addiction is an addiction). But alcohol - jeez! That's another story and it sucks. It sucks that we're viewed in such a bad light and in the early days we're made to feel uncomfortable if we don't, or have to make up stuff to cover ourselves. I guess society never likes anyone who goes against the grain .... I'm glad I'm so stubborn lol!

LC, thank you so much for the 7 days and thank you for your lovely words. It's nice to be thought of in that way. Even my family wouldn't say things like that (I mean my parents and siblings). They consider me a bit odd sometimes with my views - I'll stand up for the underdog, I give way too much money to charity (in their eyes - and we're only talking a few pounds, not a massive amount!) and I'm a bit 'hippy' in their minds. Bless them, they're good people but I am very different from them.

Hope everyone has great day! Lots to do including finding an angel costume for DD's carol service so I'll be back later x

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

When you drink, that's your normality. I've bantered people for not drinking. You don't realise the effect it has on them when you say it.

Anyway, up early and at my own home on a Sunday morning. Feels good

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Hi allankay,
Don't normally post in here as can never keep up to speed with everything. I live in London too and stopped drinking for over 3 years at one stage.(During that time was still clubbing a bit, lots of socialising etc. ) I never gave any reasons for not drinking, other than "I'm driving" which was usually true. Guys never really asked me Why?

Two things cross my mind here, one if there is a slight gender difference, it's considered (by some) a laugh for men to "have a drink with the boys" and get drunk whereas for women (not including young women here) but for women in their thirties and forties it is still considered rather undignified to get hammered. (If you look at press reports of women in London, whether celebrity or not if they are over a certain age drunkenness is frowned on, not so with men)..

Anyway I am digressing a bit. The second thing............ Whatever the age of the woman you spoke too, I think she was extremely rude and shallow too, even if everyone she knew drank, surely she would be curious to meet someone who did not.

Thirdly (oh I am on a roll here!!) I have found that people who are really uncomfortable around non drinkers are usually/often heavy drinkers themselves!

I think you made a lucky escape!!

DD

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Darkest Diamond;1589492 wrote: Hi allankay,
Don't normally post in here as can never keep up to speed with everything. I live in London too and stopped drinking for over 3 years at one stage.(During that time was still clubbing a bit, lots of socialising etc. ) I never gave any reasons for not drinking, other than "I'm driving" which was usually true. Guys never really asked me Why?

Two things cross my mind here, one if there is a slight gender difference, it's considered (by some) a laugh for men to "have a drink with the boys" and get drunk whereas for women (not including young women here) but for women in their thirties and forties it is still considered rather undignified to get hammered. (If you look at press reports of women in London, whether celebrity or not if they are over a certain age drunkenness is frowned on, not so with men)..

Anyway I am digressing a bit. The second thing............ Whatever the age of the woman you spoke too, I think she was extremely rude and shallow too, even if everyone she knew drank, surely she would be curious to meet someone who did not.

Thirdly (oh I am on a roll here!!) I have found that people who are really uncomfortable around non drinkers are usually/often heavy drinkers themselves!

I think you made a lucky escape!!

DD

I am in my late 20s and being drunk on weekends is totally acceptable, in my age brucket. The girl looked at me as if I told her I kidnap children for a living

For some reason she thought there was a sinister reason for me not to drink. (like religion, sickness, drug addiction or worse) She did not even consider that I don't drink out of my own free will.

Allan

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Should of told her you were Buddhist.

Or asked her why she drinks.