Newbies Nest

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

The fact that this woman behaved this way is a really sad reflection of our society, wouldn't it be wonderful if a few years from now it was deemed to be "cool" not to drink in the twenty to thirty year age group. For all the advances we have made with technology etc London as a city clearly has not progressed in its attitude to alcohol. DD

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Darkest Diamond;1589554 wrote: The fact that this woman behaved this way is a really sad reflection of our society, wouldn't it be wonderful if a few years from now it was deemed to be "cool" not to drink in the twenty to thirty year age group. For all the advances we have made with technology etc London as a city clearly has not progressed in its attitude to alcohol. DD

England in general. The attitude is either:

- I'm unemployed and got nothing to enjoy in life so I get pissed.
OR
- I work hard and want to relax and enjoy myself at the weekends so I will go out and drink with friends, and get ridiculously drunk.

Alcohol is an escape that brings in millions of pounds worth of tax. It shuts off the mind and stops people asking questions too.

I'm bipolar when it comes to alcohol. When I don't drink I see it for what it is. When I do drink, my eyes are covered and all I want to do is drink.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Londoner I think we're all bipolar when it comes to AL. You're so right. The longer we are sober the clearer it is to us how much we actually hate it.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1589308 wrote: Hello Sam - So happy to hear from you!! How is life??

Hi Pinecone - I'm doing well. And how are you??

Byrdie - I have missed you, too. Have needed some time to sort things out. Hugs back to you, Dearest Nest Friend!!

Tess
been doing well... staying sober, playing music, staying sober, doing some farm work, staying sober, doing surveying work, and staying sober!! It is no joke, yesterday I was thinking of you, wondering how you were, you had been such a positive voice at the nest, and wham! thar you were. Hope your journey has been a good one!
Sam

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters

Sunny but very chilly around these parts, Brrr!
Glad I got the outside work done yesterday while it was much milder.

Allan, my husband says he doesn't trust someone who won't have a beer with him & that includes our son-in-law. How stupid is that?? I've never asked our son-in-law why he doesn't drink because it's none of my damn business
Good for you standing your ground the way you did!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Sunday!
Lav

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

GM Nesters I hope everyone enjoyed their relaxing Saturday.

I would love to hear your most outrageous comments / experiences when it comes to negative stigma that is attached to teetotallers

Hello Allen sorry to hear you had to cut your fun time short due to a few accusations. I dont really have any negative stories to tell but I do have a positive one . About 17 years ago i was at a prospects house talking about the restoration of his boat when he popped open a beer and then offered me one. I just turned and said "No thank you, I dont drink.". When he gave me a deposit on the job a few hours later, he said "You had the job when you said the you didn't drink.". I doubt I would have landed that job if I had accepted his offer ( it was a test ? ). I digress. I was wondering a few things about your post though. If you had told her the reasons you dont drink what do you think her response would have been ? Also why did you feel like you had to get out of there..just wondering.

I dunno..I think that some look at themselves and their alcohol use when confronted with someone that does not drink. Kinda like putting a mirror up. It also seems like some of the stigmatism might be due to the delivery. The way some say "I dont drink" has a kind of Judgmental feeling behind it. Pair that with when speaking to someone who is drinking in the first place and then I can see how that could offend their insecurities. Im not suggesting in any way thats how you came across. But think about it.. you were dealing with someone who had been drinking in a social and party like environment..and it had gotten to the flirty stage. I could see how a young female Might at this point question your motives in this kind of situation ( Im not..just saying.. ). Trust is a hard thing to come by these days. So she went about it in an accusatory fashion. We have no idea about her past..and AL could have made her even more paranoid than she already was ? Im just seeing this as a spectator is all so please dont take any offense.

So today I have to get a trim and shave for the big day tomorrow. This is a big deal to me because its friggen 15 freezing degrees outside. Im semi-protected sporting a beard..now its going to be frost face for the next few weeks .

Stay warm everyone

Dave.

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

:hallo: all here in the nest.. won't bore you with the details of my latest descent..( I posted a thread earlier). but I'm back in time to have a sober and AF Chrissy.. Yay !! looking forward to it, my plan is planned, I'm punching that fist in the air and there is no brick wall in sight

Have a great day
Patrice
xx

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Darkest Diamond;1589554 wrote: The fact that this woman behaved this way is a really sad reflection of our society, wouldn't it be wonderful if a few years from now it was deemed to be "cool" not to drink in the twenty to thirty year age group. For all the advances we have made with technology etc London as a city clearly has not progressed in its attitude to alcohol. DD

DD,

if that ever happens clubs will go out of business very quickly...and will have to become brothels or worse

No easy solution here

AK

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

GAWKWY MAE NESTERS
Happy Sober Sunday!
Dave - thinking of you and wishing you the best tomorrow.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

gambler;1589592 wrote: If you had told her the reasons you dont drink what do you think her response would have been ?

Telling someone you just met that you don't drink because you cannot stop once you start is not a good idea

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters. Freezing in my part of the world too. I just went up town to get a cup of coffee (forgot to buy some last night. aaargh) and it was a whooping 8 degrees out there. Well, I'm fully awake now and feeling very well this morning.

Patrice, glad you are back with a plan. Stay close.

gambler;1589592 wrote: GM Nesters

I dunno..I think that some look at themselves and their alcohol use when confronted with someone that does not drink. Kinda like putting a mirror up. It also seems like some of the stigmatism might be due to the delivery. The way some say "I dont drink" has a kind of Judgmental feeling behind it.

Since I am much older than Allan, it is no longer unusual for someone in my social circle to not drink AL. It really makes it much easier. Plus as DD said, after a certain age, being the drunkest one in the room is seen as pathetic.

But I can relate. It's amazing how defensive people can get about other people's choices. Not the same thing exactly, but there was a long period in my life when I didn't eat meat. There were many reasons behind that choice, but even during that time, I chose to keep my views private. I didn't feel it was anyone's business and I didn't want to make others uncomfortable. You would not believe the rude and offensive comments I endured at almost every meal. It really wore on my nerves.


Anyway, off to clean my house. I've learned that my home is a reflection of my mood. I feel like scrubbing it clean today. I guess that's a good sign.

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Moss Rose!
It's boiling in my part of the world.. a happy medium would be good!

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Allan,
I see that situation made you feel really uncomfortable as she was extremely rude. But I look at her like this:

What kind of company does she hang out with? Just drinkers? There's more to life than drinking (I'm finding out!).
What kind of a person would talk to someone she'd just met, asking these questions with a self-righteous attitude?

To me, this narrow-minded, self-righteous, judgmental person would be no one that I would enjoy being in my company.

Was she model beautiful? If not, the immature child in me might have said something stupid such as "what's wrong with your complexion - looks a little puffy, shiny - oh, must be the booze you're drinking." Well, maybe I would have said that in my head. You did the right thing by leaving.

Any good friend will be happy for you and encouraging. Those that aren't either have a problem themselves, or are just stupid and not worth the time.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Greetings to All,

Lav, 3June, lifechange and Steadfast - great to hear from you!

Sam - you sound well. Good job staying sober!! Thank you for thinking of me.

I had a mental collapse after my mother died in August. I could not bear to be at home while my husband worked during the day. And yet I felt terribly afraid to go out and live life as I had known it. I moved in with my sister because she is a homemaker with three children. The company was good for me. I tried to come home a couple of times, but I just couldn't be alone. And that was such a strange thing because I am usually very comfortable with solitude.

I am feeling much better now. My thoughts do not yet flow together as easily as they once did. Of course, I've talked with a counselor at great length. That has been very helpful. Part of the fear I felt was that I would start drinking again. I knew that would destroy me. And I didn't want to be in The Nest because I knew I was mentally unstable. I just felt miserably lost...

I hope that all of you have a peaceful AF Sunday.

[Wine-no!]

Newbies Nest

Hi Allan

I think she behaved very strangely... Shame... It's a sad reflection of society in the UK that everyone in their twenties is expected to drink... And to extreme excess...

When I was 20 and single, I met a guy in a pub and he told me he didn't drink... I don't remember making any comment about it - I thought it was quite cool as everyone else seemed to! I wasn't a big drinker in those days but found it great when we went out (we dated for 18 months) as he would drive!! We never had a big convi about why he chose not to drink, but his dad was a real boozer so I guess that had something to do with it...

I was watching Benidorm ER (hey it was just on the TV.. Don't judge!) and when the doctors told these patients not to drink, they said to the camera 'what's the point of being here then?'. One guy had a serious infection.. The doctor gave him strong tablets and told him not to drink with them. As he left the hospital, he said he would not start taking the tablets for 48 hours so he could go on a bender... Seriously! These people are only thinking about getting pissed and I guess this girl you met was in a club and on the lash......

Anyway, best off leaving her behind...