Newbies Nest

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

If you want to see what my generation gets up to check out "What Happens in Kavos" on Channel 4 this Thursday at 10pm.

I watched the last series, and that is what my lads holidays have been like. Take the drink away, and what's the point of being there?

If you drink like they do, you will find it hilarious. If you don't drink you will find it disgusting.

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

Londoner- this made me smile!!


A few big nights coming up, and I've said no straight away to all of them. Even planning a sober Christmas Eve and new years eve.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1589599 wrote: DD,

if that ever happens clubs will go out of business very quickly...and will have to become brothels or worse

No easy solution here

AK

Be lovely to have the coffee bars etc that apparently existed in the sixties

[HumbleRider]

Newbies Nest

Hi MossRose and all, and Tess and Patrice and others back to the nest since I joined,

I had a dream last night where I stood amongst a group of business-like people in a garage with a back door that led up to a radio station. Gist of it, I stood there and waffled between breaking my quit or not, knowing that if I did I'd wreck 21 days of sobriety. I ended up downing 3/4 of a bottle of wine as I stood there. No one noticed. In my dream, I thought of not telling you all, then realized, still dreaming, that I couldn't lie about it. I woke up so thankful that I really didn't do that!

DTD--I did not know Seth had to return his advance. That's ridiculous. It's not like he wrote a 200 page book demanding an immediate sequel like Hunger Games or something. A Suitable Boy is huge and Dickensian in nature. As for my avatar, it's from a craft page on how to make a cheap candle holder with a mason jar and glass stones from the dollar store. I might try it.

Dave--I realized I needed to gender identify given my moniker. But it's okay if you lapse and call me dude. Loved your keyboard tale and am sending positive thoughts your way for your court date. I'm sure you will look more than respectable.

Lifechange--I decided to crochet some Victorian Granny-square Christmas ornaments for everyone. They are pretty and easy to make. I'm having fun with variations on the pattern.

Tess, that's great that you didn't drink after your mom died. A death in my immediate family would be a trigger for me to pick up the bottle, for sure.

Someone said 'I don't drink' can sound judging, so what else can one say? Is there a list of retorts and responses somewhere here to rely on? I feel kind of abrupt and judgmental sounding saying simply 'I don't drink,' especially since the people I'd be trying it out on know my history and would expect more, but maybe it will come easier to me in time.

Hope you all have a pleasant AF day and thanks for the support! HR

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon all. I am struggling. Been a busy afternoon and I feel quite stressed. My family could be a lot worse but I feel sometimes like if I wasn't here, everything would fall apart. They can't do anything for themselves. Ok, the kids are young but DH is pretty useless. He 'll help with things if I ask him but he'd never use his initiative. Usually it doesn't bother me but the odd occasion I just think, 'For Heaven's sake, you're a grown man. Use your bloody brain!'.

Anyway, so he made a comment just now about how I was stressed and I probably wanted a drink now. I replied that yes, it did make me want a drink but I wasn't going to. He snidely remarked, 'Yeah ... let's see how long that lasts'. Now, old Willow would have thought that if he was expecting it anyway, fine, I'll drink. But new Willow is thinking, 'Fuck you jackass, I'll show you'. Badass Willow is out to play!

Seriously, the amount of times he's said he wants me to quit drinking - I wonder if he secretly enjoys having a reason to talk down to me.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

I didn't want to just disappear but I am not ready for MWO for many reasons. I am sure I will be back soon. Stay strong and sober.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

What's happened Pavati? I hope you're ok hon x

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Cold here but the sun is out...not going out again today...I am getting tired of staying in....must get to grocery tomorrow. I am feeling better but dh seems to have slid backwards and is still in bed...maya make a doctors appointment for him tomorrow..a week of this is enough already.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Yeah Tess. I have been so worried for you. Glad to hear from you.
Allen that is a strong reaction. Quite strange. She has something to hide maybe?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Willow!
My hubs packed his clothes and was ready to leave me if I didn't stop drinking...yet months down the road, asked me if I wanted some wine??!! I was floored. Don't let the bastards get you down. Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others....once you get your legs, you can sling back his crap!! Besides, this is a day of celebration for you and around here, you get a prize!

:moon:

Here's to kicking AL's arse for 7 full days!! Here's to many more moons for you! Don't let anything get in the way of your quit! GREAT JOB!!!

AllanKay,
I'm ashamed to say that I once made a comment something like that girl did to a customer/friend of mine. She came to visit me one time on a Sunday (unannounced). By Sunday afternoons I was usually half in the bag. She was telling me a story about her company convention and she said that she didn't drink. I made a dramatic THING out of it. I leaned over on the wall as if fainting and said, YOU DON'T DRINK? AT ALL? "No," She said, "I'm allergic." 'ALLERGIC? I never heard of anybody being allergic! Holy Cow that must really suck!! I can't imagine NOT being able to drink at all!!!' I mean, I made a big deal out of it. To this day I am ashamed. She probably smelled the booze on my breath, too. The lesson being, that I imagine Ms PartyPants had a bit of an issue herself!! Had I been a normal drinker and not drunk at the time, I'm sure I wouldn't have made a federal case out of it. Count your blessings....who needs to get caught up in all that drama? After all, if you are looking for a suitable companion, you'll have to be compatible in this area too. If she can't imagine a life with someone who doesn't drink then she needs to expand her circle of friends!!

My second thought on the subject is that I don't come out and say "No thanks, I don't drink". Why? Because I think it invites 1000 questions. I just say "No Thanks" and if they push it, I say I have GI problems (which I actually do). I had one customer say, "one drink's not going to hurt you!" I looked at him and said, "it isn't YOUR colon!" and he didn't say another word! I also don't eat seafood of any kind....you wouldn't believe the grilling I get over that! It's easier to say, I'm allergic! Now I know why my customer said that... maybe she thought it was a response that would get the least attention, and the most acceptance. I really blew that one. UGG. I hate AL.
I think you just weeded out a person who was not a good fit for you. In sales, they say it's much better to get eliminated early rather than be one of the last ones standing. By then, you've invested so much time and energy for NO return. Believe me, from what I know about you, this is HER loss, not yours!!!

Hope everyone is having an easy day!!! Patrice, great to see you! Pavati, I hope you are ok!!! Tess, keep checking in! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdie. I sure hope you have a good supply of pants cos you're chucking 'em around all over the place this week! :H

So - I didn't cave. Go me! However, I am going to drug myself to sleep tonight with some valerian. I'm either awake between 3-5.30am which means I sleep on in the mornings or I wake up for the day at 5am. Either way it makes me tired and cranky by the kids' bedtime so no good. I didn't get everything I wanted done today either so need to be up early in the morning to get everything finished.

Dave - I hope court goes well.

Hello to everyone else, hope you've had a good weekend x

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Badass Willow!! I like it!! Good job at not drinking no matter what and no matter who! It seems so many of us (all of us?) have a history of drinking AT situations and people. We know it doesn't help and leaves us feeling like shit-- what are those brothers names, Byrdie? Guilt, Remorse and Shame--You are becoming stronger with every single decision you make to stay sober! That was a very insensitive thing for hubs to say, IMO, and maybe at some point you'll feel like calling him on it. Great words from Blady about saving yourself first! Hope you get a good night sleep and look forward to seeing you for a cup of coffee tomorrow morn--

Pavati, I will definitely miss you here and hope everything is ok.:l

I think I will hit the hay so I can get up with the sun--light, at least..

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

I already did LC. I said that I think secretly he loves it when I drink so that he can be right. He's a good guy but he hates to be wrong (well, I guess we all do). Anyway, he denied that and said that he'd love for me to prove him wrong (hmmmm). Anyway, because I did prove him wrong he hasn't mentioned it. If I'd drank, I wouldn't have heard the end of it! Meh, that's his call. I'm not going to fall out with him over it - I'll just quietly keep going on my way.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1589736 wrote:

Believe me, from what I know about you, this is HER loss, not yours!!!

Byrdie,

it is easy to make an evil person out of her. However, she was genuinely nice friendly and intelligent (up to that point) but for some reason being a teetotaller was a complete deal breaker for her.

The best comparison for me would be a girl telling me she had nasty STD but then I would not be rude, I would just make an excuse and leave. hmmm.

AK

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had my son & his family here for dinner this afternoon, it was nice
Tomorrow is his BD so I had this chance to feed him & spoil him a bit. My grandson's BD falls on Thanksgiving day this year so they'll be back!

It took me a while to figure this out but -
when I am around old friends or family & am offered AL, I just add 'anymore' to my response. When they hear me say, 'No thanks, I don't do that anymore' - the conversation just ends right there, no sweat

Pavati, I hope you are OK & come back to the nest when you are ready!

Willow CONGRATS on your 7 AF days!
I have finally learned that other people are just not going to do what you think they should do. I've learned not to expect that & certainly not to drink over my disappointments anymore. I was only hurting myself

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav