Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Great news Dave....I dont have much faith in lawyers..but they are a necessary evil, IMHO,
What does it matter why u quit but rather think of all the fun u can have with the boys and not have to juggle when to drink and if they will be there and if the x will have more ammunition against u etc...think it through.

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Willow - Thanks :l .. I have been searching how others deal with an EOW+1 ON since I posted. I see your point.

DTD - It would be nice If I could have an EOW+2 ON .. but Im sure that arrangement would have to be Ordered instead of agreed on. Im sure I could get a weekly dinner additional without a fight. I think for now being able to try this EOW+1 for 30 days will give a good benchmark on how to approach the final agreement .. without having a Judge decide for us that is. Yes it could have been worse..a lot worse.

Oh Im sure Im overthinking lol Right now its like there is a weird silence in my head/heart/soul. After 3 months of constant thinking and reacting (sometimes overreacting) and so on.. its so quiet now. Almost uncomfortable silence. "Now what" kinda thing. Time to get used to the Peace and quiet.

Istym - It would have been unreasonable to ask for full custody..and willing to Give anything. I never wanted full anything. Right now we had to rely on what the mediator says..not us. I still hold the right to ask for 50/50 though. But I doubt that would happen and Im not so sure that would be the best for the boys. While they do want to spend time with me I have to consider that I dont have a family. They have a large number of relatives on Her side though.

Dottie - Oh dont get me wrong. Like I said I dont plan nor feel like drinking. I was/am just wondering how or where this AF strength came from. Your right .. it does not matter. I can not see a future with my life and AL. I love who I am now. Ive been through a lot of $hit in the past 3 months. Maybe I was blessed with AF as compensation for all that I have been through. There was a silver lining in this divorce .. I got My life back . Nothing will take that away from me.

I do feel more time is needed yes. I also know that we have to get together and look at what We chose for activities. There might even be more time with them if Flexibility is made in the arrangement. The way I see it is that we Can goto the Judge..and the Judge will spell it all out for us. Then we are left with little flexibility in the future unless we go back to court and have it hammered out again. I can see nothing but hardship and resentment down that road.

Got a boy scout thingy with the boys in a few hours so more good news

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dave, you've been on my mind all day, wow, what a day you've had!
I'm so glad that you are optimistic about how it will all turn out! Communication....go figure! I am thrilled to hear all the good news!
Like everything else around here....just take it a day at a time!
Overit, so glad to see you again! Settle in and tell us what's going on!
Elvis, you sound great! Everyone sounds good, in fact!! Hope it was an easy day for everyone! XO, Byrdie

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1590324 wrote: just take it a day at a time!

Sound advice Byrdie. Im going to have to learn how to relax.

Im about to head out..but I forgot all about the Wii I had. Im going to pack it up real quick so the boys will have a game system over at grandmas. She mentioned buying a Wii today so I told her to take mine.

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Dave,

So happy for you and how things turned out. I think that the arrangement is fair, like already said here could be a lot worse.

I think that both you and your ex always ?behave? in front of the boys in order to let them feel comfortable with the custody arrangements.

As others have mentioned here, I also don?t think you should question your sobriety reasons just be so very thankful that you are and know that it makes you a better person and father than you already are.

I wish you the best.

I?m wishing all you nesters a safe AF week. :h

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I was just reading on another AF forum I belong to and saw my join date of Jan 2004....so it has taken me over 9 years to get this right....good grief....but I feel good that I have done this rather than going another 9 years floundering and drinking myself to death....
Ventured out to the grocery..what a ZOO.....aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but we survived.
Mindless TV tonight then lunch with a friend tomorrow assuming that white death AKA snow does not keep us in ......just love this time of year...NOT

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Dave - good news! I hope your plan is going to work out! This proposal soubds good to me, but I of course gave no experience in this kind of situation.

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Evening all. A late post from me, just got back from picking the young'uns up from the airport. Dave, so glad you had a good result. I would leave the agreement as it is at the moment and let the boys get used to it first. Also, keep that channel of communication with your ex open. I'm so happy for you. And your darling sons get to spend quality time with you as well as their Mum. :l

Well, I am knackered, signing off and heading to bed. Ni night everyone, hope all are safe and sober tonight!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like it's been a pretty busy day around here - great

Dave, glad to hear things went well for you today.
Learning to relax & be grateful for your sobriety takes work but it can be done. Be kind to yourself, everything will fall into place

Still cold around here, no precipitation has arrived yet, I'm grateful :H
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[clockworkorange]

Newbies Nest

M/A/E How is everyone doing tonight?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Feeling good CWO - how about you? Is this day 2?

[clockworkorange]

Newbies Nest

yes... I was pretty shaky this morning but I managed to get through it.

How about you?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I'm glad you made it! In terms of the shaking and nausea and all that, I found that each day got easier although I was tired for a long time. And then you have to do all the mental work. But it can be done . Just don't give up anything you gain.

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Great job CWO!!! Stay strong!!!

[clockworkorange]

Newbies Nest

bought a used book today called "Living sober" it is very interesting

Thank you! i am considering going to an AA meeting to see if that helps...