Newbies Nest

[HumbleRider]

Newbies Nest

Good day to all of you! Day 27 here. This is the first morning since I quit that I actually feel really great. It took that long for me this time. My 93 yr old mom came up for Thanksgiving and when I poured her some of the sweet wine she likes (my bro brought it for her--she has never had a drinking problem), she asked me why I wasn't having a glass with her. I said I was on antibiotics since her hearing is horrible and I didn't want to get start yelling about how I have a drinking problem! She said that on Christmas I would have to enjoy one with her. Wow, her memory must be shot if she isn't thinking of all the times I've ruined holidays with my drunken behavior. Family members can be in denial, just like we can.

Willow, Available, I know the feeling of day 1 all too well. Remember this day and these feelings for all you are worth in the upcoming period of time. Envision yourself a completely new and changed person, as if it is so right now and forever. I think for some reason a hypnosis app with an AF one on it is really working for me this time. I listen to it every night before sleep and sometimes in the morning. The cravings are minimal!

Have a great day, everyone.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning all!!
DTD and LC....leftovers AGAIN? (to be whined or whinged?) Bahahah!

Willow and Available...there seems to be a direct correlation to 'wandering away from the site' and getting into trouble. I think it may be the 'out of site, out of mind' thing. All I know is that people who stay engaged with us here (doesn't have to be the nest, but a thread of some sort for accountability) seem to do better than those who watch from the sidelines or 'forget' to check in. This isn't scientific, but it makes a lot of sense. The WHOLE WORLD is telling us it's ok to drink, so when you associate with them, you get a whole nuther message (Southern Speak). When you stay connected and engaged with us, you get the message that AL is really killing us.
It's hard to read Lav's words I know....they stung me hard when I kept coming back time after time....but they are true. That woman saved my life! I only wish I had started listening to her sooner. If you heed her words, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO QUIT!! And STAY quit! I do what she does and so far, it's working! Grab on, she's got room for more!!! You CAN DO THIS!

Steady, I agree with LC, the My Story section isn't so much to win Pulitzer Prizes, I think it's more for YOU to get it out. It's a place to journal and keep track of your own progress. A benchmark, maybe. This site IS what you make it, it's ours to do with what we want...there's no real right or wrong...we all learn from each other. I have found that many times when I had a 'feeling' and put it 'out there' that so many others had it, too. It is so refreshing to know that we aren't alone in this crazy mind game/affliction we have. Far from it.

K9, I keep forgetting about your tooth enamel question. I rinse (and have for years) with Act Fluoride Rinse most every day and I've never had any problems with erosion. It strengthens the enamel and the roots of your teeth that get exposed as we age. I am not familiar (thru personal use) with the toothpastes that are out there for that, Pronamel, etc....but give them a try. There is also a gel available behind your pharmacy counter called Gel Cam. It's not out front, it's a more potent Fluoride gel that you can get that will help with root sensitivity. They may have to order it, but worth it if you are sensitive to cold stuff. Are you experiencing sensitivity?

Off to do a little Christmas shopping! I saw some Charlie Brown Christmas trees for sale the other week, and I'm going to pick up a few as gifts. They'll be cute for those folks with cats (my brother who has 22) or who don't have time to put a tree up. They are about a foot high and have one red ball ornament on them! CUTE!!! When I get home, the decorations come out!! Maybe Lav will post an AFTER picture for me!!!

Have a wonderful AF Sattidy, eva'body!!! Hugs to all, stay strong, no matter what and no matter who!!! xxoo, Byrdie

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, good morning. I see everybody busy - LB - congrats on new tablet - which kind did you get? I use iPad all the time and it is so awesome. Byrdlady - happy shopping! I am scared to get out there after what I saw on the news I think I will go do 5 K walk instead, no hot yoga today for me today- all muscles hurt from yesterday. This hot yoga thing is growing on me. Just walking to this 105 degree roomies soothing and makes me feel happy. Never thought I will say that. Yesterday during the class I looked at the thermostat and it was showing 107???

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Willow23;1592469 wrote:
NS - I have no idea. I feel a bit lost tbh.

Hi, Willow

I'm sorry you feel lost but please don't feel like you are alone. There are many "plans to stay AF" in the Toolbox. Maybe you could read through some of those and see if any of them would work for you. A key element in my plan was to post here before I drank and give MWO a chance to work and if I couldn't do that, to email or text a support person. I used this tool a couple times but for the most part, just thinking about posting here was a sufficiently powerful deterrent. So many people had spent so much time and energy on me, I didn't want to let them down and I had had the audactity to suggest to others what they could do and by then, my self-image had improved enough that I didn't want to be a hypocrite. Would that type of commitment help you?

What happened the other day that resulted in your deciding to drink? Part of your plan needs to include a different action if that situation arises again.

Also, when challenging events are in your future, which probably is the case for most of us in December, make a specific plan before you go, oK? At the beginning, you need to be kind of obsessive about this. But don't worry, after awhile the threat level decreases and we just need to remain "alert". I think that level is for life, but it's not an uncomfortable place to be.

Take care of yourself, Willow, and please stay close.

:h NS

[istym4me]

Newbies Nest

I know many, many people that have gone years without drinking - they all say you just have to tough it out.
Willow Is there anyway that you can not beat yourself up? Ending at least that part of the cycle now?

Because of the few things I have gone through in the last few days, and because of the snide comment your husband made, I can't help project some of that here. I had one small glass of wine on Thanksgiving and absolutely NO WANT of more. None. BUT what I did have to endure is my X's f-ed up GOD LIKE behavior before, during and after it. If my sons court case weren't coming up I doubt I would talk to him at all. I had to break my silence this morning to attend to some of that.

I can imagine many of us add to our torture by allowing others to have POWER over us when we voice vulnerability. I knew better and I did it anyhow.

WE loose so much of ourselves when we get married and have kids. I loved what I gave up of myself at the time and at times can not believe I allowed it to happen. STILL, now, because I have a tween child, I am not free to live how I wish.
It's down right screwed up at this point, I let it go on for too long and now have myself in a worse position than I would have been a decade ago.

HERE IS A WARNING- ON this journey, it's not just the behavior of others that we have to deal with, it's our minds becoming less clouded and much more aware that we purposefully allow some people to treat us badly because in some way we believe we deserve it.

After a few days and then weeks of sobriety we do start to feel better about ourselves and I could bet 75% or more of those around us(mostly meaning spouses) do not like it and will in turn purposefully make us WANT TO DRINK! Yep, I fully and whole-heartedly believe that.

It's not just a battle we have to face within us, it's our surroundings we then have to re-evaluate, again and again and again.


My thought on MWO- Use the forum when and how you see fit- it's YOUR journey, your free will. YOU DID NOT DRINK BECAUSE YOU WERE AWAY FROM THE FORUM...

Good Luck on your goals everyone! Sending much good will your way...

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Spent the morning/afternoon cooking soup at church...having a decorating party tomorrow so we wanted to make somethng for us all to eat...we have a committee but it seems the same 3 of us keep showing up..we are all the same age and work well together so it does work well....brought some home for dh..he is sick again....going to call the doctor on Monday..enough is enough already...
Staying in tonight. May make some soup for us...I cook more now that I have the patience, time and am not hungover and just dont care.....nice perk of sobriety.....
Available and Willow I had so many day 1's that I cant even remember but it seems that this time I was more determined and posting here daily really did keep me honest. I just had to go from I could drink to I WILL NOT drink....had to eliminate the option altogether....I wont say that it was easy but it is sort of freeing....to not have to worry about it I just do not drink....that is all there is to it.....If I can do it anyone can...really and truly....hang with us....
Off to make me something to eat..

[available]

Newbies Nest

Morning all. Well Day 1 and up and determined. No AL in the house and lots to achieve. Posting on here being a top priority.

Dot i started with you all those days ago and you should be very proud. I have to learn to deal with my stress through other means other than AL but at the moment all is calm in this neck of the woods. I am not even stressing about xmas, i am just going to concentrate on getting through the next week. The no AL before was fine, it was the no sleeping, the headaches and the grand mood i was in that was difficult but I put myself in this place so i wil get myself out again.

Willow i downloaded Joseph Clough on iphone and it has an app, alcohol addiction hypnosis. For a minimal cost i have downloaded it and going to give it a shot. We can do this together my friend and we will do this. So many positives to look forward to in the future without AL

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

istym4me;1592553 wrote: I know many, many people that have gone years without drinking - they all say you just have to tough it out.
Willow Is there anyway that you can not beat yourself up? Ending at least that part of the cycle now?

Because of the few things I have gone through in the last few days, and because of the snide comment your husband made, I can't help project some of that here. I had one small glass of wine on Thanksgiving and absolutely NO WANT of more. None. BUT what I did have to endure is my X's f-ed up GOD LIKE behavior before, during and after it. If my sons court case weren't coming up I doubt I would talk to him at all. I had to break my silence this morning to attend to some of that.

I can imagine many of us add to our torture by allowing others to have POWER over us when we voice vulnerability. I knew better and I did it anyhow.

WE loose so much of ourselves when we get married and have kids. I loved what I gave up of myself at the time and at times can not believe I allowed it to happen. STILL, now, because I have a tween child, I am not free to live how I wish.
It's down right screwed up at this point, I let it go on for too long and now have myself in a worse position than I would have been a decade ago.

HERE IS A WARNING- ON this journey, it's not just the behavior of others that we have to deal with, it's our minds becoming less clouded and much more aware that we purposefully allow some people to treat us badly because in some way we believe we deserve it.

After a few days and then weeks of sobriety we do start to feel better about ourselves and I could bet 75% or more of those around us(mostly meaning spouses) do not like it and will in turn purposefully make us WANT TO DRINK! Yep, I fully and whole-heartedly believe that.

It's not just a battle we have to face within us, it's our surroundings we then have to re-evaluate, again and again and again.


My thought on MWO- Use the forum when and how you see fit- it's YOUR journey, your free will. YOU DID NOT DRINK BECAUSE YOU WERE AWAY FROM THE FORUM...

Good Luck on your goals everyone! Sending much good will your way...

Two things here....this was a HARD concept for me during my first year of trying to quit. FOR ALCOHOLICS, ONE DRINK IS TOO MANY. And yes, we are Alcoholics. Sometimes getting away with one glass is as bad as having a bender....because now we will test it out again. And again. This is really a ruthless disease, Isty.....when you feed it, however little, you keep it alive.

I also respectfully disagree with the second bolded statement. Staying engaged with like-minded people keeps this front and center. When you see people flying into the nest who are filled with despair and you are able to offer some comfort, it is very empowering. I CONSTANTLY see this trend....we don't hear from someone, and the next thing you know, they have fallen. While it is everyone's individual journey, I have found that we share MORE SIMILARITES than differences when it comes to addiction. I also keeps me grounded as to why I came here in the first place....to QUIT DRINKING.

Just my 2 cents. That's why I check in every single day....every post matters, you never know what might help someone and you help yourself in the process.

Just finished the Christmas decorations....Hallelooya. Have a great Saturday, everyone!! XXOO, Byrdie

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Available I remember it was the 3 of us starting together....so u know it is possible....hang in with us...
Anyone heard from Dave???

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Just signing in. Haven't had time to read through.

But a quiet sober night my way.

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Hello available, good to catch up and yes I to am back on Day one. With christmas just around the corner the booze is already starting to flow big time.I just need to be strong. I don,t need al anymore. So I plan to post post and read lots to get through today. Oh, and hi to everyone else.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters, hope everyone had a good day like I did

Welcome back hadit!
Glad you are here with us, stay for a while. Make sure you've got a plan to succeed, we'll give you a hand!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest - it's cold here again!

lav

[available]

Newbies Nest

Hey Hadit was thinking about you today and hoping you were doing well. Glad you are joining me and Wilow on Day 1, we can do this together. I need to do this and get rid of AL from my life, im totally over it yet again.

Damn hot today but keeping myself busy with little bits of housework, gently does it for a few days.

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Skimming through the thread....Brydie's comment on how she wished she had listened sooner.....I can second that one.

People could tell me how awful my life would be if I kept drinking.....but, nobody could truly describe how great it would be to NOT drinking. It is literally something you have to experience for yourself to understand. And the only way to get there is to NOT drink.

All I could picture was me having no fun and not being able to cope with life. What a load of crap that was. I think setting a goal of 3 months (30 days is not enough)....don't drink if your ass is falling off.....and if at the end of 3 months you really think that you would be happier drinking...then go for it. Warning.....if you do decide to drink at that point....you most likely will want your non-drinking life back asap.

I had lived drinking for so long....I had no real idea of what NOT drinking would look like. It is grander than I imagined Heaven to be like.

MyLuck....google an article titled "Why I hate Bikram Hot Yoga".....it is hilarious and I found I fell into every category....including the one where I get irritated when the room is not hot enough It can be 100 degrees and I want it to be 105!

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Hadit I have really missed you. So glad to see you.
Data not working so great tonight, so I know that I've missed something. Available this is a very difficult journey we are on, but the way does get easier the longer we stay away from al. I think you have to absolutely starve that monster. It will never die, but it will weaken drastically. I understand stress right now, too. If I drank right now, not only would I be under tremendous stress, but I would have huge anxiety attacks. Yuck! Drinking has never solved any of my problems. Only compounded them. I just can't believe it has taken me this long to get that idea through my thick, muley head.
have a great m
MAE all.:banana: