Newbies Nest

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Jane,

The extent to which alcohol is toxic to mind, body, and soul is something each of us discover after we have had time away from it and reflect on the true damage this poison does to each of us and the people around us. It strips us of dignity, confidence, health, and friendships. Stay strong, good decent people add so much to life when we let them.

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Jane,
I know exactly what you mean. My drinking is also kept secret from everyone. The sneaking, being afraid to get too close for fear of my breath, throwing away the empty bottles/boxes (I'm a wine drinker) - all of it is so tiring. Apparently I've hidden it pretty well but I'm not bragging - it messes with your head. Had breakfast with some of my girlfriends a couple of weeks ago after going 18 days AF and was so much more confident and comfortable with them. Knowing that I had nothing to hide from the night before was a great feeling. I started back after the 18 days with the intent of moderating to just 2 glasses of wine a night. Someone pointed out to me in another thread that even that is too much based on the experts recommendations. So - I have started AF again and I'm now on day 3. Have you tried any of the supplements? I didn't use them before but I went out and bought the L-Glutamine. I can honestly say that since I've been taking it I haven't had the craving for a drink that I normally do at the bewitching hour of around 6:00 at night. You are not pathetic - you have an addiction just like all the rest of us here and each of us has to find a way to beat it. I personally have started looking at AL as "poison" where before it was always a reward for some reason or another. You can do this. Little steps - don't get discouraged if you stumble along the way - we all have and you will always have many friends here to give you a hand and help you get back up again. Be strong and believe in yourself - you have come to the right place.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Evening everyone.
Oh Jane what you said is so true for me too. I have always held people at arms length. On the rare occassion I let go and relax around people I usually (used to) get so drunk I would black out. And because they didnt, they knew what I got up to and they could remember the conversations I had with them (usually telling them my deepest darkest secrets). So in the end I kept everyone at a distance because I never knew what I had said and done! It felt like everyone had a secret about me that I never knew about. And even now years after some colossal episodes during a black out, people still tell me things I did and said and I still feel shame and embarrassment & I dont even know if what they are saying is the truth!
Isnt it strange though, that I can tell you all things I have done during my drinking career and black outs but because I know you understand and most probably have been there, its OK. I know you are not going to judge me or criticise me because you have all been there and together we are trying to beat this demon. Thanks for bringing that up Jane.
Jolie, I am using the supps recommended in the book. They are available thru the health store on the top of this page and are a nice change from putting poison down my throat. Originally I bought the starter pack which had all the supps and the CD's for Mums. But today I have ordered some more Kudzu and AllOne because I cant find an outlet for them in Australia. I got the L-glutamine from the health food shop and take a teaspoon of that in the morning. Everything seems to be doing what it should as I am not craving now. When I do crave it is usually because of something else that needs attention.... boredom, loneliness etc which cant be sorted with a supp.
Better stop rambling now.
Take care til tomorrow. Hippy

[fluff]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Jane, Jolie, and Hippy-and anyone else who jumps in as well! Day 9-for me.
Jane- if there was ever a place that people knew what you were saying it's here-I think we can all relate to what you said-including me. I think posting that truth really touches us all in a kindred way. I was always afraid to meet anyone the day after drinking because I felt they "knew" -and could never feel calm- Now, I am self assured and confident and I know my eyes are not glassy and soulless.
Hope you all have a great Wednesday-and if your going to bed-have a great night!
Luv, Fluff

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all Nesters!

Glad to see so many fledglings drop in! The nest has always been a safe place to gather some support - that's why I'm still here

Gretings to Hippy Chick - you sound happy!
JB - congrats on your 17 AF days - very nice!
Jane - I do understand the feeling of inner peace we gain when we stop perpetuating our dirty little secret. It truly is freedom for most of us! To be able to look someone directly in the eye & have a conversation that you know will make sense & you will remember is just wonderful!
Allswell - hello & thanks for dropping in. Hope to see you often
Jolie, good for you for getting right back on the wagon with us! Most of us just find it's easier to stay AF than it is to moderate - that's just the way it is & it's OK!
Fluff - congrats on your progress too. Great job - 9 days and counting!
Greetings Tranq buddy! Had a little more snow here yesterday - 2" or so........more expected this weekend - ugh!! How's your midwest weather?

Wishing everyone a Happy Humpday!
I'll be back later

Lav

[FallonsMom]

Newbies Nest

Hi I'm New Here

I've been lurking for a few weeks on the board just checking it out and reading all the stories, I found this site when I was researching different medicine to help with cravings.

My Story, or some of it?

Last year in March my Mother who was also my best friend was killed by her boyfriend and the day before her funeral I found out my husband was cheating on me. Through all of this I was fighting a foreclosure on my home. I remember the day very clearly a few weeks after the funeral. I was driving by the liquor store and I stopped. I took that bottle home and I felt so good to have the pain dulled. So good that a few nights a weeks turned into every night of the week. I was hurt angry and basically killing myself. Even after I dealt with the pain of losing my Mother and saving my home and being overjoyed that I saved it. By then it was too late. I would try to stop drinking because I didn't have any pain that I knew of anymore but my body had already turned on me, it craved it and when I would stop drinking for more then 8 hours I would get sick (withdrawal)

Last week I took a long look at myself and I was just tired I knew I didn't want to see me turn 30 next month like this. I have a daughter to live for and a marriage that needs lots of work. I went to my Doctor and I told the truth and I cried and told more of the truth that I was hiding from everybody even myself at times. He came to my home the next morning to start the detox in private because he knew I would not agree to going to any inpatient anything because of course I thought "I'm not one of those people" *yeah right lol

The next two days were ok I was on med's to help with it. I had a nurse who watched me until Friday and over the weekend my Husband watched me. Now I've been taking campral for the cravings and reading your stories and I have a week AF today :-) I'm feeling much better.


The last 8- 10 months has truly been a blur I'm praying I never get like that again..


Thank you for letting me share :- )

[NewGirl2010]

Newbies Nest

FM - Thanks for sharing. Sounds like your life has been a roller coaster for the past months. Sorry to hear about your mom and your husband cheating. It took so much courage for you to go speak with your doctor. Good for you! Please stick around and use the support of this group as much as you need.

Jim Beam - Speaking of the mundane. Its funny how AL use to be a way of coping with the mundane. "I better have some wine to get through making dinner, vacuuming, making a phone call to relatives..." Now I realize that AL was keeping me from really living my life, including the mundane.

Jane - For me, I think that AL became a way not to engage in relationships. Sometimes I find relationships too hard to deal with. Not sure why yet. Now that I am sober I think one of my goals will be to build my relationships. I remember being so pissed at friends who would invite me over and not have drinks. SERIOUSLY! How messed up is that. The truth is I really could not deal with engaging in relationships without AL. I was happier staying at home by myself with wine and the TV.

[Grateful]

Newbies Nest

Good morning to all! Lovely, snowy day here - again.

FM-congratulations on becoming AF! You are on the right path. I'm glad you found MWO - you will meet many new friends here who will support you.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday!

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon guys..:l

FM welcome I'm sorry you've had sucha bad time the last year or so, but well done on your AF week, you'll find this place full of support:l

JT, I know exactly what you meant in your post, I feel the same and so paranoid about people knowing I'd been drinking, even just joking comments about alcohol would send me into a panic, were they analyzing me, how did they know about my secret? But now I'm feeling more confident in myself, that thing about not having to worry about smelling of alcohol etc etc, Today I forgot to put perfume on before going out and I didn't have that awful feeling that people would smell last nights drink on me..Funny how little things like that aren't so important when you can think clearly


Today at diet club the other girls we're talking about drinking the odd glass of wine or two, (glasses if only I counted mine in bottles not glasses) and this other woman sat with us and jokingly said "Oooh is this the alkies table?" those words sent me in to a panic for a moment until I remembered we'd never met each other and she wouldn't know that I had a problem, she was just making a joke and not referring to me, it's been a long time since I haven't felt guilty about drinking..


Anyway I'm on day 17 AF now, the weekend was so hard, numerous arguements again and I soo wanted to have just one wine, that little voice telling me go on it'll be okay to have one little drink, but I didn't, I'd read a post here somewhere about owning your AF days and kept telling myself I wanted to own Saturday and Sunday and not give them to AL..

[JimBeam911]

Newbies Nest

Wow, quite a bit of food for thought today!

Fallonsmom- Congratulations on one week AF! I know what you mean about looking at one's 30th birthday and realizing you don't want to spend the next decade in a drunken blur. That was me all the way. I think you've made a sound choice. A great deal of my own drinking has been undertaken to blot out legitimate sorrows in my life, and from what you've described, you've certainly had some yourself over the past year or so. All I can say, at the risk of emphasizing the obvious, is that there is a 100% guarantee that alcohol will only make things worse. Never let it deceive you on this point. It took me the past 5 years to figure this out, and I cringe when I think of all the wasted time I've spent drowning my sorrows in whiskey. In fact, just last night, out of nowhere, I started to feel really, really low. My natural reaction was to grab a drink, but I steadfastly reminded myself of how that's turned out in the past. I don't feel incredible today, but I feel far better than I would have had I given in last night and been drunk. Alcohol is only concerned with the short-term, not our long-term interests. However, most of the solutions to life's problems require a long-term strategy, which is one reason why alcohol is a poor coping mechanism. It sounds like you're doing great, so keep reading posts here and hang in!

JaneThompson- I've felt the way you have many times myself. One thing that surprised me, however, is that when I've been reclusive and spent time isolating myself to drink, my friends have been quite concerned about me. It's easy for the alcohol to make us feel guilty and unworthy, but once the sober haze sets in it becomes clear that many people truly care about our well-being. That's one thing I've really noticed. When drinking, even among people I like, I always tended to think the worst of people, be distrustful, etc. I didn't realize this was nothing more than alcohol accentuating a depressed state of thinking. Another firm example of the subtleties of what this poison does to us.

Anyway, glad to see that so many people are doing well. This is day 18 AF for me, and once it passes I will be in an AF territory I have encountered only once before. I want to pass my previous record of 26 days, as I know that this will give me increased confidence to really beat this horrible addiction.

[NewGirl2010]

Newbies Nest

JimBean - I agree with everything you said!:thanks:

[ajnickerson32]

Newbies Nest

new world

Hi
I am new in this, i have been 3 days sober and i am about ready to rip my hair out of my head because i want a drink that bad. Both me and my husband are trying to quit drinking at the sametime so we are both having withdrawls badly and we seem to be taking the stress out on one another.. Any suggestions for us.. I would really like some advice.
I am so glad i found some place online that i can chat and read other peoples stories. then i can see that i am like some other people.. if anyone has some advice please feel free to private message me, or what ever, because i don't really know how to go about on this site. i will probably tell u more once i feel more comfortable.
:new::thanks:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Wow, such a busy day in the nest - I love all this company

Hi Fallonsmom, welcome to the nest! The thread was designed to welcome 'newbies' & give you a safe place to settle in. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom & everything else that's been going on in your life. You have made a great decision to quit drinking now before you do any lasting damage to yourself. You do want to be a healthy & happy Mom for your child, I'm sure. Congrats on your progress so far. It's wonderful to hear that your Doc was willing to work with you like that, most don't. Please check in with us everyday, we will do whatever we can to help you along.

Greetings NewGirl & Grateful - hope you are both well.

Congrats leaveinsilence for your 17 AF days & JimBeam on your 18 AF days - terrific progress You will be breaking your all time record in no time!

Hi & welcome to ajnickerson! So glad you are here as well! You are getting over the first big hump of 3 days - it will begin to get a bit easier now! Please be sure to keep yourselves well hydrated right now - lots of tea & water helps a lot. If you haven't already, download & read the MWO book from the Health Store right here on the website. It's full of useful information. You & your husband need to make plans for yourselves. Take a look in the Tool box (located in the Monthly Abstinence section) for good ideas. Try to eat healthy food, get a little exercise & basically just take good care of yourselves. The Hypnotherapy CDs were very helpful for me in the beginning & for quite some time after. I advise you to keep reading - there's a lot to learn from reading other people's stories. Please check in frequently with us - we will help wherever we can. It's wonderful that your husband is doing this too. Maybe if you could give each other a little space right now...... Try to remember that you aren't giving anything up or losing anything - you will be gaining a lot! Your health & personal freedom for starters

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the Nest - the night light is on for anyone flying in late!
Lav

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone.
It's so good to see new people who have found the way to deal with this terrible addiction. Welcome to you all.
Since I stumbled across this site four weeks ago, I have had so much support and inspiration from everyone here. Just read everything you can on this site and ask any questions you have.
One thing I found worked for cravings while I was waiting for my supps to arrive was L-glutamine (available in the body building section of the health food store) and lemon in water. And coming to this site as often as I could.
Good luck with your journey. Its not easy but it is worth it.
Hi to all our regulars too. Hope you are doing OK.
Hippy

[FallonsMom]

Newbies Nest

thank u all for the warm welcome!!!!!!!