Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters,

Overcast here today but no snow predicted so I'm happy

Welcome back Olga!
Wishing you the best & please stick around this time. MWO is a great place, you will receive the support you need. It never hurts to have your blood work checked, especially if it will give you some peace of mind. Focus on healthy living, good self-care for now

I am swamped with work this week & trying to find a little time for shopping & decorating
I don't stress out over this stuff - it gets done when it gets done!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Monday!

Lav

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Giraffe - hallo and hope you had a lovely time with your family! If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were in for a wonderfully noisy Highveld thunderstorm - full of sound and fury, to half-quote the great wordsmith. Unfortunately, the Western Cape doesn't do thunderstorms - I always giggle when the weather reports here warn of thunder and lightning. Well done on Day 35!

Olga, your perch is still here - hop on. I don't think you have to be worried about your liver - from what I've read, it's a pretty resilient organ. But, if anything feels really wrong, maybe have it checked out - if only for your own peace of mind. I'm sure hubby would much rather have a short-term crabby but ultimately sober Olga than a long-term happyish but drunk you. And yes, I'm sure Giraffe meant you - and why not!

LB - hugs - and enjoy the beautiful weather!

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Looking forward to today with some apprehension about the afternoon. I'm writing that I will walk in the door this afternoon and get an ice cold glass of water. My body and mind need it, and my children need to see me with it. I'm also not going to think to much about Thursday...that fear is creeping in already. The day my neighbor usually texts about drinks on the driveway. But for today, I'll think about Monday!

A little stomach ache but pretty sure it's my nerves.

Olga, I would go to the doctor. Peace of mind sounds nice, doesn't it?

Have a good one!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
So good to see the new faces and the returning ones! This is a great place to get advice and support to embark on your new way of life. I was afraid, too. In fact, I let that FEAR stop me from starting. I thought it was just too monumental a task to even take on!! The fear of it all just paralyzed me. However, once I began, it wasn't so bad!! In fact the FEAR of it was much worse than actually DOING IT!! Go figure!! When you get yourself into the 'one day at a time' mindset, just about anything is possible! Remember, all you gotta do is get thru THIS day....and you can do that!

Aclassic, I found it helpful to set myself to a task...such as clean out a closet tonight, or bake a pumpkin bread for gifts tonight, or some task to put my mind out of the loop of what I always used to do. It helped me anyway... maybe you could try melting chocolate or something that you've never really done before, but with a tangible result where you can get some satisfaction from it. I'm so glad you are here!

It is NEVER too late to get sober. I got there at 51, and I WISH I had done it 20 years before. Dang it, what a waste, but I'm making the most of it now! I feel like I have a second chance at life and I'm taking it! A dam substance in a glass isn't going to lead me around by the short hairs any more!! (ouch!)

Hope everyone has a wonderful and easy AF day today! MindPeace! XXOO, Byrdie

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Made a doctors appointment for us later today. We need more meds that the OTC can provide.
I feel better about being AF every day. It does get better when all the crud gets out of the system. Ididnt take any supplements except the milk thistle and I have taken that for years in the hopes of protecting my poor liver from all the AL damage. And I am a firm believer that it is NEVER too late to stop the madness....age should not be a factor at all..better late than never..anyway welcome to the new folks and stick close this is totally doable!!!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE Everyone--

I am back and licking my wounds on a miserable second day 1. I stepped away from MWO in a calculated way - I wanted to "moderate" one last time and didn't want to drag other newbies down with me. I guess it was one last "hurrah" that ended in a 5 day frenzy of drinking (and eating) like - well, like an alcoholic. No gentle swoon from the wagon - a full on cannonball into a vodka and beer filled swimming pool. It never occurred to me that I had that in me - I don't know where it came from.

I have never felt as anxious as I have over the last 24 hours (I can't all yesterday day 1 as I was drinking in the morning to try to feel better - so gross). I can't keep food down, having a hard time sleeping. Did I really do this to myself? I told my husband I feel like I have been poisoned - and I have.

When I left MWO I didn't even log back on to read how everyone is doing (I guess a clean break into the abyss is what I "needed", and just read two PMs that meant so much to me. I am strapping on the butt velcro and staying put in the nest. That is one rabbit hole I do NOT want to go down again.

Will read and post here today - I definitely need my fellow nestlings. Happy December 2.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

A Busy day in the Nest is a good day in the Nest!
What a great group of people helping eachother and themselves to reach a common goal. I LOVE it!

DO, After running around the whole day like a mad woman, I'm having an afternoon cup of coffee. I don't care if it's cold!!!

Olgada, I'm very happy to see you back here! You sound determined as hell and as long as you follow your plan and stay perched on your branch, you're sure to be successful!! I'm glad you talked to your husband. In my experience, having it out on the table with loved ones can be helpful. I'm also 43.. but just for 6 more days!!

AClassic, good decision to just worry about Monday today. Thursday is still a way off and there's no need to be concerned so far ahead of time! Actually, I just realised that one of the best lessons I've learned these past 3 months is taking one day at a time. I've become quite skilled at putting the worries to the side until the appropriate time. I even tell myself, "you can begin to worry about Thursday late Wednesday night"--Somehow giving myself the permission to do it later quiets my mind and Usually by Wednesday night the worries are already gone-- a solution or a different frame of mind has come along to help. Regarding kids, you are giving them the best gift you possibly could-- your true self. If it's seeming very difficult to look past the beer in the fridge, I would SERIOUSY consider asking your husband to either go without for a time, or keep it out of your sight. You have the right to ask for that! Later on down the line it might be ok, but it's just that much more difficult if you have it staring you in the face.. IMO:l

Hi Available, you're sounding DETERMINED!! I am so happy to have you back in the Nest! Have I already said that? I missed you.. and will look forward to seeing here each day!! I also had headaches for quite awhile-- but now they are completely gone.

Giraffe, Well done on 35 days! It sounds like you had a nice time with your family..I hope you'll be hanging out here a lot this month.

I have NEVER had a sober Christmas season-- actually that's not true. I did in 2001 when my eldest daughter was 1.5 months old. So I am very much looking forward to it. To doing things differently than I usually do. I know that most years I've passed out somewhere quite early on most nights and have had to suffer through long days of football and cheer, feeling like a piece of crap. Not this year!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hey, Life - do day 100 and your birthday coincide? That would be a heck of a great b'day present to give yourself!!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Pavati!! :l Just like so many of us have experienced and like Byrdie always says, we usually drink hardest while in the midst of "moderation". I can't tell you how many times I did exactly what you described-- slowly stepping back from the Nest and the support to try it out again, only to be caught up in a worse hell than I'd previously known. To me this was proof of the progression of alcoholism. And of course I had to prove it to myself, as we all seem to. It would be great if we could just believe what everyone is telling us and get on with it, but unfortunately it never really seems to work out that way.
I missed having you here and am relieved you are back, safe and sound. Butt velcro is a great idea, along with reformulating your plan-- being ready at all times! I promised myself the last time (and it will be the LAST time!) I quit to come here FIRST, before picking up a drink, no matter what, to post and talk it out and try to figure out, with the support of others, what the heck is going on! There are other better answers/solutions. I know you know this..:h
You are drinking lots of water and tea and trying to eat a bit, right?
So glad you're back-

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

NS, My 100 day celebration is the day before my birthday!! I'm sooo excited.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Big week for you, Life!:l

I remember one thing you posted a lot once you had decided this was it: " I don't drink and I'll never, ever change my mind!" I think it usually was in all caps .

When I started, I just tried to do what successfully AF people were doing. I sometimes felt like I was faking it because I didn't feel all that great but fake it until you make it can work.

Channel Lifechange! Her level of determination is what is needed to get this done. Make your RIGHT decision and GO FOR IT. DON'T LOOK BACK OR SECOND-GUESS YOURSELF. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

"I have NEVER had a sober Christmas season" LC me either that I can remember so this can be a first for us both....getting closer to 100....WE will do this!!!!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the warm welcome, LC. I did try the experiment and it predictably failed. I have read over and over how the attempts at moderation end up worse, but for some reason I was expecting myself to be different. I remember reading what happened to Broken Halo (where IS BH?) when she fell and thinking - wow, but that wouldn't happen to me. Well, it did.

Part one of the plan is to write down how I feel right now. I have never been this anxious in my life - and I am someone prone to anxiety. I have the GSR brothers in full force, punching me in the gut, making me cry off and on, taunting me for being such a bad mother. I feel chilled to my bones and exhausted but I can't sleep. I am missing work with a hangover (I'm pretty sure I have never done that before - at least not in my current career (although maybe some mornings I should have)). My heart pounds from time to time. I missed two of my son's basketball games. I appeared drunk in a bar where there were many people I hadn't seen in a long time - visibly drunk so that someone asked my sister if I was driving (thank goodness, no). I ate dinner rolls and stuffing in spite of an allergy to wheat (can't be helping the stomach thing). I had a long conversation with a good friend about troubles she's having with her daughter and was so hungover I can barely remember it. I drank a beer to feel better that day, too.

I remember when I joined the first time and I had the newbie fear of not drinking again. Now I have the fear of ever drinking again - I love myself and my family too much to subject them to that. I will spend today making more of a plan.

About 8 years ago I was out with some work friends at a bar at the beginning of December, one of whom was alcoholic and was visibly drunk. We tried to not let her drive her motorcycle home, but she did - and she killed herself in an accident. I have so much guilt from that still, and I think that part of my plan has to be to try to deal with that, as well as some other ghosts in my closet. I have been in therapy and it has helped, but I have not even been honest with her about the extent of my drinking - I will come clean now (I have an appt. tomorrow).

Sorry for the rant and thanks for listening. I am miserable but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now that I have let some of that out. Onward and upward.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pavati, Welcome BACK!!! I sincerely mean that! I don't know what it is about the addicted brain, but you just try taking the booze away from it and then reintroducing it in a controlled way and ALL BETS ARE OFF. It's like I drank out of panic or something. What a horrible year I had while I tried and tried to moderate my drinking. The more rules I made about AL the more I broke them. There at the end I was drinking in the mornings to 'take the edge off'. It's a vicious cycle and there's nothing to do but to jump off and say NO MORE. Don't feel bad, I am convinced that it just isn't possible to moderate, but like LC says, we ALL seem to have to find that out for ourselves. It's a hard lesson. I am optimistic about your future. Lav talks so much about 2 things: Gratitude and Forgiveness. Both are equally important on this journey of one's self. You will get there! You've got the best support system on Earth right here for the asking! Byrdie

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

I am tired of being me, I am tired of fighting this battle and losing. My life is a mess all because I give in and drink that bottle of wine 2 times a month.

I do this when I am upset at my husband and I don't know how to stop. I hate this, hate this, hate this.