Newbies Nest

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Hallo again, Pav. You know, in a way I'm glad that you experimented and that it failed - not that you failed, but the experiment. I think that almost all of us come here with the dream to moderate. Despite what Byrdie, Lav, K9 and all the other old-timers keep on saying, we want to keep that dream alive - the dream that we're that mythical person who can successfully and happily moderate. You've now experimented, and have discovered first-hand that it does not work. I'm glad you came back so soon - you know the butt-velcro drill, eh? (And you can now add your voice to the moderating-doesn't-work choir!)

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

No promises

DreamThinkDo;1593580 wrote: Hallo again, Pav. You know, in a way I'm glad that you experimented and that it failed - not that you failed, but the experiment. I think that almost all of us come here with the dream to moderate. Despite what Byrdie, Lav, K9 and all the other old-timers keep on saying, we want to keep that dream alive - the dream that we're that mythical person who can successfully and happily moderate. You've now experimented, and have discovered first-hand that it does not work. I'm glad you came back so soon - you know the butt-velcro drill, eh? (And you can now add your voice to the moderating-doesn't-work choir!)

You all make me chuckle. At least I can do that since I don't feel like doing anything else. Yes, me again. Good morning. No promises but,K9, I did TTDP today. Again, not as bad as I used to be but I still feel like crap and I wish this day was already over so I could go back to bed. You know that old trick of "if I'm quitting I better booze it up really good" (like you can store it up or something).

I just have to figure out what it is I really want.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Pav, OD welcome back. Pav your msg so is like my last drinking in moderation, complete failure and i felt worse than i think i have before. The anxiety levels were through the roof this time, the shakes, the mind going at 100 miles an hour, thinking i was going insane. What the hell was i thinking. MODERATION cannot be done for us, never, ever. I am not even sad about it anymore. I dont want AL.

This morning i woke up and thought "oh my god i have to wake up and drive to work". Then i really woke up and thought I am totally SOBER. Woo hoo. What an uplifting feeling that one was. I was thinking I cant do this, i cant and now i dont have to.

LC 100 days and a 43rd sober birthday. I am glad to be back to and I am going nowhere in a hurry. This xmas will be my first sober xmas in many a year, cant remember when the last one was, probably when the children were little. So 20+ years ago.

Mim as i am sure you will be asked, what triggers you to drink those bottles. I could not do a bottle a couple of times a month, mine is a bottle or more a night which i was getting back to very quickly. Be positive and get your head in the right space and you can and will do it.

Well this sober person has to get ready for work. Even my sleep was great last night. Life is good today.

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

Well, my liver feels sore and I have a headache and the Beast is saying 'just one won't hurt' but I know that for me, it never is just one. Never. I am tired of this and bored of it and sad I can't have it both ways. But I'm a grown up, right?! Allegedly ;-)

Yup. I will ignore the voice and suck it up. I know from previous quits that it gets a wee bit easier each day that passes.

I want to be here. I want to see my daughters grow up. I want to be able to express my creativity again instead of being too pissed to do anything. It will happen if I just take it one day at a time.

I have been sober before. Three times. Both pregnancies, and when I did Lighter Life in 2010/11. I am worth it!

Hubby has agreed to me getting all alcohol out of the house. He doesn't drink much anyway (he moderates very carefully because he has MS). It will be a relief to let it go.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Back from the doctor, we both have antibiotics, steroids and dh has cough meds so I can sleep...He has bronchitis and I have sinusitis.....bleh...
We need to get better NOW!!! We have committed to a children's Christmas party on Saturday..we are in charge of the snow cones...and yes they like snow cones when it is freezing out..go figure..

[available]

Newbies Nest

OP we all know the benefits of not drinking it is getting ourselves to believe we can do it and stick to it. Oh that beast drives me nuts and the temptation is there but it gets less as we know, its just getting through the first week really, that is my focus. I am taking Panadol every four hours as my head just throbs, i am trying to sleep when i am tired as i know i will wake at some stupid hour and not sleep. Our bodies need time to heal after what we have done to them. My plan is to be whole again. I want to be there for my children too even though they are all adults, i want to be motivated to do something instead of too hungover to give a shit.

Dottie sorry to hear that you have been sick, the joys of winter really. Sinusitis is a killer, the pain, blah. Man flu, well suck it up i say lol. Send me a snow cone please, need it with this heat.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie and Overit - wow, you are right. I was panic drinking. I still don't know what hit me. Very scary, actually.

DTD - I get what you're saying about a failed experiment. That's why I stepped away from MWO for a trial. I read a lot about institutional change and one of the recurring themes is that people often have to experience things rather than being told. The good news is that when you "experience" things around here, there is forgiveness. I do appreciate the tough love that Lav, Byrdie and the other long-timers dole out, however. I can't remember if I thought it or wrote it here, but like parenting, we want love and understanding, but also guidance about how to avoid the same mistakes twice.

Gratitude and forgiveness are big - a lot of work. It is funny that how I get further into exploring the AF life I learn what the sayings really mean. One day at a time hit home before, and today I am thinking about acceptance. It is so much easier to accept living an AF life than to fight it all of the time, living life bruised and battered, or running scared. I hope I can feel this feeling of acceptance even when this, the worst hangover of my life, is over. I am with you, Overit, I am longing for this day to be over so I can go to sleep. I'll be back here, though, as it is only 2pm in California.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

And, Dottie - I hope you both feel better soon. Thank goodness you have medication!

Available - hope you feel better, soon, too. What is panadol?

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

OP - I was just reading some Internet site that says the beast in the withdrawal is that you KNOW one beer would make you feel better, and that you feel so bad that you'd do almost anything to feel better.

I just went outside for a walk in the sunshine and feel slightly better already. Some Gatorade, some B vitamins and a lot of deep breathing have helped me today, too, although not as much as I would have liked. Also, I am playing a lot of Candy Crush and trying to distract myself.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Pavati -
I remember mentally breaking down my days into 2 hour increments when I was hungover. Just surviving 2 hours seemed impossible some days. I hope both you and Overit can get some much needed rest tonight. I hope both of you will stick close to us. It is MUCH easier to do this with a support group.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Pav, Panadol are a brand name for paracetamol for headaches. Recommended dose 8 per day which suits me fine, they are not strong. did nothing for a hangover but nothing really did except more al.

I agree Pav, i think one glass of wine will be fine but i know from the last month that that one glass leads to more and more and more. I just know today i will not drink

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

ugh..........what to eat for supper? I've been drinking my 7-up all day......now what?, besides sleep. I know I need food but what can my stomach take? Any ideas, thoughts, suggestions?

I have to say that I'm so glad to be back with you folks. To the old timers, it really means a lot to see you here so I can feel at home. I'm sure I'll get to know everyone else soon enough but it was comforting to know that you stick around and help the rest of us.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hi Overit - Soup, maybe??

[paulywogg]

Newbies Nest

Its good to see you overit

[Gardener]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone, I've come back and am finally getting the words of wisdom I've been reading here since May this year. One. day. at. a. time, so simple to hear, but for me, it has taken a while to get that.

Day 2, looking forward to participating (not lurking) and getting to know you guys and reacquaint with those of you I've met before.

Thanks Sunbeam for posting from Mario's post on page 23 of the toolbox, I really got a lot out of that.

Where's Dave, I miss reading his posts and wonder how he is.

AF December 1, 2013