Newbies Nest

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Janewalker;1593861 wrote: Thanks DTD and Pavati
I can feel the hangover creeping up on me. Looks like my plan didn't work. Luckily I've got the nest to stay close to :-)

Stick with them here Jane! These are the best group of people in recovery! Take it from me. You can do it.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE again, Nesters!

Done the newspaper and coffee thing, and ready for the day!

Mimi, Overit and Gardener - have you found your perches yet? Make them as comfortable as possible - I hope you'll spend lots of time on them!

Myluck, you're so right about creating memories!

Dave - sounds like a good arrangement, especially since you'll be able to see the boys at least once a week. And the flexibility re special times, such as family visits, are good on both sides. So glad that things seem to be working out!

Classic, I tried to turn my normal routines upside down as much as possible, simply to break that connection between time of day/doing something and drinking. See if that doesn't work for you too.

Pav, coffee in the Nest is fresh 24/7 - help yourself!

OK, I'm off to do some gardening, then nose and grindstone must meet!

Good AF day, Nesters!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good MAE Nesters!
You are the early bird that caught the worm, DO! Way to go on 50 days!!:lilflower: The coffee is extra delicious this morning! And I've got crepes again with your choice of applesauce and cinnamon, maple syrup, marmalade, peanut butter and banana or nutella!! Also have smoothies with seeds, bananas and berries and hemp powder! So everyone grab a cup of coffee and something to eat, and if you're lucky enough to have the luxury of making yourself comfortable and hanging out here for awhile, Do!

So many Newbies and Folks coming back-- What a great place for all of us to work on getting this demon out of our lives!

Available, Pavati, Gardener, Overit, AClassic, Olgada, Mimi, Janewalker!!!! Did I miss anyone? :welcomeback!!) I hope there was good sleep to be had and that spirits are up today. Use this place to get it all out-- to talk about your struggles and successes. Read, read, read!!!! Take ideas from others that you think might work for you-- make the commitment NOT to drink for TODAY and do whatever you have to do to be successful in following through. I know it's f****** hard sometimes, but BELIEVE in what the old timers say--That's what I did, "fake it till you make it", and already It is so worth it!

Jane, I hope you'll get some sleep! Keep yourself hydrated, try to eat some healthy food. Take some paracetamol if you need to-- know that you will feel better very soon if you keep the alcohol out of your body.:l Glad to have you here.

Dottie, I hope you'll be feeling well soon-- and your husband. Snow cones in December? Kids are crazy!! For my December birthday I always wanted ice cream sundaes-- still do!

Humble, I will be very happy to congratulate you tomorrow on 30 days!! Can't wait!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, AF Tuesday!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN AND I WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND!!!

That was (and still is) my mantra, NS! Taken from Rational Recovery. Somehow it was often easy for me, after a binge or during a terrible hangover, to say I would never drink again! But to say that I would never change my mind was new-- a LIGHT went off and I began reciting it, even without thinking, as I walked to work or washed the dishes. I will NEVER change my mind! I have that power. I'm still affirming my actions with this mantra-- brainwashing myself!! So far, so good!

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

Morning, everyone!! No time to post but wanted to check in. I'm stil here and AF. Will post later. It's so comforting to know you're all here, supporting and understanding.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

I'll have one of everything, please LC, and please excuse the unladylike burp afterwards:H:H.

You know, I find your use of the Never word so inspiring. Like many of us here, that thought frightens me. I know that I will never drink again - but never sounds like such a long time (and yes, I know how contradictory that is - I have to laugh at myself sometimes!) But, to say that I will not drink today - well, that is as easy as pie. We all have to find our own way of winning, and that's the joy of this site: we can learn from those who have drawn the map for us, but we can follow the path that we like best.

Morning Olga! Thanks for checking in. Do so even if you had a fall or a slip - if we don't know that something is wrong, we can't help. (And sorry, that wasn't aimed at only you - it was a sort of Hey Nesters, listen up! shout.) Have a good AF Tuesday!

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE all, check in time at the zoo, ha ha. Glad to see everyone is well. I must say i had a good day. Woke up thinking i had a hangover to realise i had not drunk. Oh what a feeling that was. Went for a walk at lunch time and enjoyed the sun, decided i am on a mission to get fit and healthy for my 50th next year so stopped at the shops on the way home and thought "oh they sell my wine here for $5 a bottle". I then thought no i came for fruit and veges and that is what i got. There was no anxiety in going to the shops just a sense of feeling good and wanting to change. Not going to say AL brain wont start up at any point but for now the determination is there and i am posting like a lunatic but i am here and you are all so very supportive.

Now im having a coffee with you guys and a banana. god how long has it been since i had a piece of fruit other than grapes which were in a bottle.

To all the newbies you are in the best place that trying to give up al has. We have all been in the same dark hole of AL addiction and have battled in our own way but so many are succeeding and i plan on being one of them.

LC why could you not have told me "i will never change my mind" nearly 100 days ago so i could have been with you and Dot. Would not have made any difference we all have our different ways of sorting out our addiction but I am going to cling to them now.

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

Sorry if all my posts are very me-centric for a while. I will join in properly once I've managed to stabilise (ie not feel hyper-excited that "I am going to do this!'" or mega-low "I am a disaster!" but rather that this is my normal, and it will be my normal, calm, peaceful life forever. I think it will be, but I've thought that before and been wrong.

Been reading and reading and discovered something I'd never heard of before: Adult Children of Alcoholics. I knew my family was weird and dysfunctional growing up, and that we had a massive secret, and then I knew I was acting out in ways I didn't want to, and then drifting into alcoholism... and while I take responsibility for taking all those drinks, it has been incredible to feel that my childhood experience was legitimate and real and there is a name for all the ways I self-sabotage. Wow.

Everything (the rows, the fear, the beatings) got hidden on Sundays, when the family would go to church and make like we were normal. Ha! I hated that. The hypocrisy of it still makes me angry. But I didn't know I was angry. I just tried to be perfect so they wouldn't find a reason to hit me or scream at me.

And then my sister died, very unexpectedly, of a brain tumour. And that was that. I thought my parents would wake up and in their grief start acting like adults.

Nope. Only now I had no one else to share my horrible experience with, except for two very dear friends, who I'm still in touch with now. If it hadn't been for them I wouldn't still be around I don't think.

Hmm. So I'm 43 and have woken up to the fact I am not like them. And what I was saying about "being an adult" in my last post has stuck with me. I AM an adult. I used to think that it was "grown up" to drink and get pissed and abusive. No it isn't. It is adult to be sober and fully present in your life. YES!!!!

Have a wonderful day, everyone.

[available]

Newbies Nest

I so agree with you OP, when i was walking today i was thinking about why I drank and thought about my childhood in which i basically grew up with an alcoholic step father who beat up my brother but never me thank god. I thought to myself "it is his fault i am an alcoholic", then i thought no he may have influenced me but it was my choice to drink. Maybe we didnt know any better as it is what we grew up with. Like you now i am nearly 50 I am an adult who can make the right choices. My brother died of liver failure, i wonder did we both drink due to our childhood upbringing. My children are not big drinkers so that is a blessing.

Like you OP i'm a lunatic on here at the moment but if it gets me through another AF day then i am grateful.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Oh Olga, come and get :l:l:l

You cannot change your past, but you can change your future - one day at a time. And if a day is too long - break that up into manageable chunks. Don't worry if your posts are all about you - writing down what is going on in your life is one way of sorting things out. We all benefit from people's experiences and thoughts.

Welcome to adulthood! It might be shitty from time to be, but it's much better than being shitfaced all the time. (Uhm yes, I do speak French from time to time:H.)

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, available and DTD. It's amazing to start letting this out and to have found people who understand. Wow. I'll warn you: I can really ramble when I get going!!

Yesterday was lovely. Although I was putting up with a mild hangover (my last binge wasn't huge by my standards so I reached the end without waking up feeling like death, which has to be a plus, right?!) and I would normally feel hugely anxious and stressed and low, despite some palpitations (hmm, not good, I know) I actually felt hopeful.

I ate nice, nutritious (but not obsessively so) meals, and felt I was looking after myself. It felt good. This is new! I look after everyone else. No one looks after me - least of all me.

Except now I do. For today I do, anyway. And that is enough.

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Hi and Welcome, OlgadaPolga and other new Newbies,

Yes LifeChange, am at the beach!

You're right LittleBeagle, a sober holiday is more memorable. It's also true what people say about "doing the work" now that one's sober. I am learning how to be assertive, tolerant, to communicate effectively, etc. etc! Lots to learn about relating to my partner.

Take care, everyone,
love, Steady
:h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday morning Nesters

Forgot to welcome Gardener - glad you are back as well!

Glad to see so many sharing their stories & building resolve together to take back control of their lives. For me it was awesome to finally see myself as a non-smoking & non-drinking adult for the first time ever If I can do it I know all of you can as well!!!

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!
Lav

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,
Nice to wake up sober and hangover free. I was thinking about all the times I woke up still drunk. Gosh! Such a gross feeling on many levels...pretending to feel fine. So FAKE...my eyes were clearly blood shot! Anyone could plainly see.
I actually looked people in the eye yesterday. Probably shocked the @#$% out of them.

Today when I get home, ice cold class of water and put clothes the clothes in the wash.
Day 3 is underway. I will be happy about it, but on the flip side, Day 3 has happened countless times. I'll do cartwheels on Day 5!

Loving it here with you fine folk!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!!!
DreamTD, congrats on your 50 days!!! That's HALF a finger!! (We award 'The Bird' for 100 days!) Gosh, you are doing so well! Thank you for making the nest a better place (and with the best food on the whole site!!!)

Jane, it's so good to see you! We will count this as your new 'ReBirth' day! I'm so glad you found your way to the nest, as you can see we have lots of success here!

Finally Done, get back in here and let us know how you're doing!!! Great to see you!

This place IS about ALL of us....and don't think you are selfish if you share your journey here. We are all here for a reason, and I think it's important to look at how we got here so we can stay out of that quicksand in the future.

I read a post on here that listed the contributing factors for Alcoholism. I was stunned that first on that list was child abuse. I'm sure there are many lists, but on this one that's what was first. I thought back to my childhood and the abuse I sustained. Olga, just like you, my mother would verbally and physically abuse me, and then we'd all march into church on Sunday as if nothing happened. Sunday nights were always the worst for some reason. My mom and Dad would really get into it. My dad, always the peacemaker, trying to calm her down. NO ALCOHOL involved, oddly enough....but I found it was a most excellent way to shut those thoughts down. Like you, OP, when I was 13, my brother (17) was killed in a car accident. You would think that this would make the remaining children even more dear but it seemed to do the opposite. My mother became even more out of control. I counted the DAYS until I could get out of that house. We had no money but I got myself thru college. The night I left my mother didn't even tell me goodbye, she resented my leaving. I never went back either. While we think we can gloss over these things as 'childhood memories' they apparently have a mind of their own. Somewhere in all of this, I have found forgiveness. That doesn't make what my mother did any less severe, but it helps me move on. I don't drink it away now. I don't drink AT her and what she did to me. It's quite a journey, this getting sober. But as you say, I am growing up finally. It's a good thing. Thank you for sharing your story with us....I identified with an awful lot of it.

I hope everyone is gearing up for a lovely, easy, AF day!!! Be sure to visit the Tool Box if you need some reinforcements!! Grab a muffin on your way out the door!!! Hugs to all! Byrdie