Newbies Nest

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Still feeling like sh!t! I'm definitely detoxing. This didn't happen when I quit last December. I know a lot of you say each quit gets worse........this SUCKS!

Have a great AF day everyone.

[Gardener]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters,

Lav, thanks for the shout out, I know you didn't forget me, this is a busy nest, so many around here to keep up with.

Byrdie, thanks for the Velcro and welcome!

LB, thanks for keeping up with me, even when I was away, and thanks for dropping the breadcrumbs for me to find my way back,, you are a very special friend to me. I would be honored to win this with you together!

Dottie - Hope you and your husband are feeling better today.

Dave - Glad everything is OK with you and that you had a great weekend with your boys. Divorce is so hard to get thru, kudos to you for getting thru it sober, that's quite an accomplishment.

Pavati - We did show up on the same day, glad there's so much room here.

Available - We are on the same day, Day 3, let's do this together, see you at 100 :-)

Olga, I had a crappy childhood too, both my parents were alcoholics and my father abused my mother and brothers. All of my siblings, plus myself have addiction issues. We can do this regardless of our past, glad to be in your company in the struggle as well.

LifeChange - I'd like my crepe with maple syrup please, hope there's some left, I know I'm late this morning.

Dream - Way to go on the 50 days, you must feel incredible! I did find my perch, thanks so much. What are you growing in your garden? I've got cool weather veggies planted and will soon be harvesting.

Humble - Almost 30 days, that is a major milestone!

June3 - Thanks for the welcome back, you are such a constant source of support here.

K9 - Thanks too for the welcome, could you please update your photo again? This time I'm paying attention :-))

FD, Classic, MyLuck, Janewalker, Steady, Tess and Overit - See you guys around, didn't want to leave anyone out, looking forward to more good times in the nest.

Have a great day everyone.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesties!

Welcome to all the newbies and not-so-newbies. This isn't easy, but it CAN be done. Soemtimes it seems so overwhelming, but just take it minute by minute. You will never regret not drinking.

Overit, I hope your crappy feeling passes soon. I remember that all too well. Hang on to that feeling though, keep it close next time you think "just one" wouldn't be so bad. If you're like me, you've never had just ONE drink in your life!

My daughter was telling me last night how she used to hear me vomit every night. And every morning. And how one time I went out drunk and was gone a really long time. She was sitting in my bed crying, but when I got back I was too drunk to notice. That's the reality of my drinking. It wasn't the warm, cozy, good time they try to sell on TV. For me it was DUI's, handcuffs and a cellmate named Diablo. And a kid with a broken heart crying because her mother was a drunk.

Happy Tuesday everyone...stick close, this is THE PLACE to be! :h

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Dh and I are on the mend I hope...drugs should kick in today.
I read all the stories here and think back to my childhood too and we all share so many things. I think that is yet another reason this place is so great...we share a desire to have a better future than drowning our memories of a dysfunctional/painful past. I drank at my past for so many years and it changed nothing .
We are staying in today and trying to get better. Dog training tomorrow night so I hope we are better.
We are doing great so hang in there!!!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

When I first found MWO and read stories of people's tough childhoods or other devastating life events, I of course felt very bad for everyone who had those experiences (:l:l:l for each of you!) but at the same time I callously felt like they were "lucky" to have a reason for what had happened to them. I know that sounds awful now but it shows how self-centered an addict can be. I wanted an excuse that would somehow justify the situation I had gotten myself into -- anything to stop the self-loathing and shame that was just crushing me.

I've learned some things about myself and addiction over the last 10 months that don't excuse the choices I made but make me understand better why things developed as they did. I still have regrets but am no longer beating myself up or plagued by guilt and shame. I don't think I've made it to the point of total self-forgiveness, but that is the goal.

It probably isn't possible to know why some people who have terrible experiences develop addictions and some don't or why some people who seem to have easy lives nonetheless fall into that trap. We've just got to do the best we can to help one another get out.

:h NS

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, All (and A and E):

I still feel bad, too, Overit. I had a bad bout of insomnia and feel physically and mentally bad. I guess the good news is I am one day toward feeling better here at the start of Day 2.

I feel the same way you do, NS - I had some weirdness in my childhood (over permissiveness that was sort of benign neglect that lead to EARLY starts for drinking and drugs - but it was common for parents in the '70s when I grew up, so I didn't feel "bad" about it like I do now), but I do wish (selfishly and with the same feelings of guilt you mention) that I had some sort of "excuse," so it didn't seem like I am such a weak person. I hope you all realize that I am not trying to trivialize the awful experiences you have had as mere "excuses" for alcoholism.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer this morning. My plan - a good, hearty breakfast; a little work to catch up on what I missed yesterday; a walk in the sunshine (or the clouds as the case may be); cooking a good, healthy dinner; and a visit with my counselor. I am both dreading and looking forward to that last thing - I'll let you know how it goes.

For now, I'll take some of that coffee, DTD, along with a smoothie AND a cinnamon crepe, LC. Thanks for taking good care of me!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Pavati;1594026 wrote: I hope you all realize that I am not trying to trivialize the awful experiences you have had as mere "excuses" for alcoholism.
!

Thanks for saying that, Pavati -- I certainly don't want to be implying that, either! I guess my point is that no one is immune from this happening. My early posts on MWO were all about me and my guilt --- feeling like there was no good reason for me to have become addicted so I must just be a terrible, weak person. People with "reasons", therefore, were better people than me and didn't have to feel so badly about themselves.

Alcohol can so horribly twist our minds - I don't ever want to go back there.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for sharing part of your story, Olgada, and for starting this wonderful string of posts. This is what it's all about.:l This is how it's done,,
There are so many on day 2 and 3 today-- so many people coming together to make great changes in their lives. I'm really, deeply touched by all of you here in the Nest right now. Keep doing what you're doing--reaching out, having plans in place for possible cravings, changing up normal routines to avoid "the usual", drinking enough water and tea, eating good food, reading and posting and reading and posting!!:h

[WineBGone]

Newbies Nest

well?.. I had a job interview yesterday as I am getting laid off at the end of the month. Although I had a lot of anxiety the night before the interview, I didn't numb that feeling with alcohol. I drank tea, went to bed early and was rested and clear headed for the interview.

I should know by the end of the week?? fingers crossed.

We are snowed in today, so I am reading MWO, drinking tea and glad that I made it through another challenge without booze.

I hope everyone is doing well today

Jim

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Good job Jim! Each little battle you win will help you win the war. I hope you hear good news about the interview soon. I am sorta in the same position...not losing my job but looking for a new one. It ain't easy, but no reason to drink! Keep up your good work!

[WineBGone]

Newbies Nest

Thanks K9 for your words of support. Company xmas party is on Friday night?.. that will be the next challenge !!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Sweet Nest Friends,

Lav, Byrdie, K9, NoSugar and so many others - Thanks for making The Nest a safe and healing place to hang out. You are appreciated!!

I'm going to jump right into the middle of the "why" question: Why did I develop alcoholism?? As I look around, I see all sorts of folks who battle a serious drinking problem. We come from very different backgrounds. I wonder? I just wonder? if maybe alcoholism has nothing to do with background. Maybe we are genetically predisposed. Or maybe there's another explanation.

For me, it does not matter so much why I developed this cruel disease. What has been most helpful is to acknowledge that I am, in fact, afflicted. Yup, I've got it. So I live each day in a careful sort of way when it comes to alcohol. I avoid it, if possible. And every evening I feel grateful for another sober day.

Enjoy your hard-earned freedom, All.

[poppy62]

Newbies Nest

here again

Hi everybody I have come back to this site had enough of my destructive binge drinking today is day 1 . I have told my family and friends I have a problem and got fantastic responses and know this site is amazing .

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone, just a check in before work. Im with you Gard lets get to day 100. K9 your story struck a note, i am sure there were many a night where i was not there for the children, just because they are in bed does not make them safe but thank god they have grown up to be great adults and still love their mother like your daughter does.

Its funny listening to most of the childhood stories and they all have a similar ring to them but as i think to myself I am accountable for me now. I still have issues with my mother on why didnt she protect me as i was a child but as she says "she did what she could back then". She comes from a generation where you dont talk about the past or anything for that matter and i just want to spew forth but i dont want to hurt her, she is old.

I agree Tess we have to realise we are alcoholics and we have to live with it and without AL but its hard to lose a best friend who is not a best friend at all.

I slept like a log last night but the bone tiredness is back, that will pass.

LC skinny latte here with a vanilla slice here. Im getting ready for work with a clear head and another day of plans, one of which will to have MWO open at work and hopefully not get caught. How would i explain that i wonder!

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

I didn't mean in any way to blame my alcohol addiction on my parents. Only I could pick up that first drink, after all. But I do realise I have developed a lot of poor behaviours and coping mechanisms and it was amazing to read that 'adult children of alcoholics' behave like I do. To discover I am not weird or abnormal, but have just tried my best to cope.

I'd never understood it, as I'd say I'm a high-functioning alcoholic, so could not understand the pull, the lure of oblivion night after night, especially when I'd seen first hand what it can do to a family,

But I denied it you see. How bad it was. At home years ago, and how bad it has been getting for me, for years. I'm the strong one, who copes and looks after everyone (except me).

We all have difficult things to deal with in our lives. Here's to facing up to them sober and learning and growing!