Newbies Nest

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!

Jane - "it?s not just the tired, worse-for-wear eyes, but it?s as if I don?t want them to see inside me:"

I so know this feeling. The Monday morning dreads - hoping that I don't have to meet with anyone 'til at least 10am - even then it's shaky.

My goodness - "don't want them to see inside me" is the exact way to describe how different life feels. When there's nothing to hide it becomes really possible to invite others to look inside, and to willingly share what's inside. I'd never thought about that aspect until now - thanks!

NewGirl - "I better have some wine to get through making dinner, vacuuming, making a phone call to relatives..." Now I realize that AL was keeping me from really living my life, including the mundane.

NG - I've been there too. It's almost like I resented having to do things for myself. Cooking was always coupled with drink for me. Now I realize that food tastes a lot better when you can actually taste it.

Leaveinsilence - "Anyway I'm on day 17 AF now,... I'd read a post here somewhere about owning your AF days and kept telling myself I wanted to own Saturday and Sunday and not give them to AL.."

Way to go on day 17!!! I'm going to have to track down that post about owning your af days. That's good stuff! It's good to own everyday I think.

FallonsMom - welcome to you. You must be a very strong person. I like what you said about taking a long look at yourself. I think we all did that in some way and that's why we're here. We know deep down there's a better way to live.

Hi Grateful, Fluff, Allswell!

Lav, just some flurries, not a lot of snow, temps in the 20f's so not too bad right now. Waiting for spring! I'm the eternal optimist.

Take care all.
tw

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hey Tranq, just heard we're getting a foot of snow this weekend - do not want it!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday - will be back later

Lav

[fluff]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone-DAY 10- now all I have to do is 2 more "day 10's" to equal 30 days! I know I can do it! Lavande, we're supposed to get a foot of snow this weekend- I think you are supposed to get more.
Hello-to Fallon'smom, Newgirl, AJ, Jim, Grateful, Lis,Jolie and Jane ! I hope we all have a great sober day !
Luv, Fluff

[NewGirl2010]

Newbies Nest

Good morning to all of you. This will be day 35 AF.

Here are some thoughts I am having. I need a reality check. My mind is trying to convince me that Al is not a problem for me. I am thinking, "I can go 34 days without Al, obviously I don't REALLY have a problem." The truth is a couple drinks in me would be the beginning of a disaster. I guess that my mind is still obsessed with AL. I still spend a good part of the day obsessing. I need to reorganize my thoughts. The truth is is that I am a person who should never drink another drop of booze because for some reason it has the power to destroy me. For me it is poison. Even though I haven't had a drink for awhile it still remains like a cancer in my brain.
Need to keep holding on. I hope all of you who have had some early success can keep on going! I am truly finding support from MWO.

[FallonsMom]

Newbies Nest

NEWGIRL2010 just take it day at a time

[BPleasant]

Newbies Nest

Reading about kindling has frightened me. I may ask my Dr. for help with this. How bad is that to have in medical files though? I think It would even void my life insurance.
pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh22-1/25-34.pdf
I don't want to do this anymore.

[BPleasant]

Newbies Nest

Reading about kindling has frightened me. I may ask my Dr. for help with this. How bad is that to have in medical files though? I think It would even void my life insurance.
pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh22-1/25-34.pdf
I don't want to do this anymore.
www.mentalneurologicalprimarycare.org/downloads/.../03-2_how_to_cut_down_on_your_drinking.pdf

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

New Girl Hi
Last March I did 36 days AF felt brill health wise etc. but like you my brain told me I was in control. I went to the Canaries on my hols and day one the friends we were going with produced a champagne breakfast to celebrate. to cut a long story short, I had the champagne, then I had the wine, the vodka, the beer, the anything else with AL I could find or sneak around and buy. Second day of my hol I fell on a pavement and split my head open, was unconscious and was rushed in an ambulance to a hospital 100 miles away as my head injuries were severe. 18 stitches and scans and xrays etc later I was released from hos. and went back to hotel, to drinking 9 months later, still drinking, fighting with my husband, disappointing my children on the verge of loosing my family my home everything and the power of the alcohol was SO strong that I didn't really care as long as I could drink. Reached a new low 5th December 2009 and with one small hiccup am now AF, and my God I hope I've learnt from my mistakes this time. New Girl don't have a drink

[queen of denial]

Newbies Nest

Newgirl 2010,
how we are alike! Today is day 183 AF for me and I STILL have that voice in my head telling me I cant be an alcoholic cause if i was i wouldnt be able to go this long W/O AL.
But i do take it one day at a time and i did start going to AA meetings (women only-I like that best) and when i really really want a drink i dont take it OUT OF FEAR.
My husband has been so supportive and i am grateful for that. He seems to prefer the sober me and he encourages me not to take that first drink..It did take me a while to learn how to relax without the AL but i can do it now and the sleep is finally so much better.
I used to come here a lot and i dont know why i have not been checking in like i used to..

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

NewGirl2010;800906 wrote: Good morning to all of you. This will be day 35 AF.

Here are some thoughts I am having. I need a reality check. My mind is trying to convince me that Al is not a problem for me. I am thinking, "I can go 34 days without Al, obviously I don't REALLY have a problem." The truth is a couple drinks in me would be the beginning of a disaster. I guess that my mind is still obsessed with AL. I still spend a good part of the day obsessing. I need to reorganize my thoughts. The truth is is that I am a person who should never drink another drop of booze because for some reason it has the power to destroy me. For me it is poison. Even though I haven't had a drink for awhile it still remains like a cancer in my brain.
Need to keep holding on. I hope all of you who have had some early success can keep on going! I am truly finding support from MWO.

My mind is telling me the same, go on one on Sunday with lunch won't be a problem, a couple of beers on the London trip and you'll be fine, I actually thought to myself yes perhaps I'll have a beer just to be sociable that night which quickly progressed to me thinking so what if you DO drink that night you know you can stop the next day again it's no big deal, you've done it already you've just done 18 days straight it's easy...
Already my brain is getting ready to go for more than one beer if I did drink that night.. I'm just going to have to say no to that first one

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Hi newgirl,

We both started our quit at the same time and I know what you are saying as far as the mind continuing to hang on to the AL. I have gone AF since the beginning of the year and to be honest, my weakness is the superbowl. It's always been a day long bender where the party and the alcohol flows freely beginning early and ending late, often times with people I only see once a year or so. This year I will not be going to any parties, will probably not even watch it, and will find something else to occupy my time. I know if I can make it past this rather large trigger successfully my confidence in long term sobriety will be strong and getting stronger by the day. No time for the poison anymore.
Good luck.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters!

Hope you all had a great AF day!
We are gearing up for a big snow storm tomorrow here on the East coast. They're talking about 18-24" of snow - yikes!!

Fluff, congrats on your 10 AF days - keep going

New Girl - 35 AF days is a tremendous accomplishment! Do yourself a favor & treat yourself nicely. Try to concentrate on all the positives going on right now - no hang overs, improved sleep, no guilt, etc.
I would bet that just about all of us are one drink away from a disaster. I choose to not have that drink - you can make the same choice

Hello to FallonsMom & Mollyka - hope you are well.

Queen - glad you stopped in! Congrats on your continued success - great job!

BPleasant - not sure why you are so worried about Kindling. That seems to be a phenomenom with people who have a history of many detoxes. If you have such concerns you really should talk to you Doc to arrange for a safe detox.

leaveinsilence - I'm with you - say NO to that first drink

allswell, why not plan something else to do instead of allowing the superbowl to steer you down the wrong path? Dare to do something different this year - take control!!

Well, I'll say goodnight now.
The night light will be on for Tranq & any other late fledglings.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Guest]

Newbies Nest

I'm a newbie as well. 11 AF days so far and enjoying them.

I love this website.

Has anyone every saved up their drink money from AF days? I am going to put away $ 15.00 for every day I don't drink.

Keep strong everyone.

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi All.

Just a quick good night. I've been having problems connecting to this site tonight. Sounds like everyone's on board with ya newgirl.

Allswell - I've come to enjoy watching football sober. I' learning to enjoy everything sober. It's good.

Take care.
gw

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

I like spam's idea of saving what would ordinarily be spent on the enemy. It would be a visual reminder of another benefit to not drinking and could be spent on a really nice reward to ourselves. A twelve pack of heineken usually ran $18 so I am going to put my first $18 away today.