Newbies Nest

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters.

I must have been snuggled next to Byrdie and K9 because I was warm all night AND slept like a rock. Thanks guys. Can I reserve that seat again tonight?

So, I'm feeling a smudge better again today. I can't believe the difference between this quit and my quit last year. It really does get harder with each one. But, I took the darn pill this AM after fighting with my mind. So, for now, I just have to get through THIS day, and it has been settled by taking that pill, for sure.

I came up with a great analogy at the gym this am. I was talking to one of my selves and said "yes, I'm an alcoholic, and because of that I cannot have a drink for the rest of my entire life. How will I cope with that? There are people everywhere that NEVER have a drink and not because they're alkies like me. I am also a mother but I will never have to change my child's diaper again......does that bum me out and make me dread the rest of my days? Absolutely not." Perspective.

Hope everyone has a great AF day.

I just have to get through THIS day.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Available-good for you for putting your foot down regarding your quit, that's AWESOME! I remember when I quit smoking, at one point, I had a bad fight with my husband and I smoked and then was even angrier with him for making me smoke. What foolishness on my part.
Little Beagle-how goes it with the kids? Tough spot to be in.
HumbleRider-i am jealous of your "gift" of having no desire to drink although that's the way I was last year when I quit. Now I'm doing it out of pure desperation.
Aclassicgirl-stay busy, that does work, and hitting the gym. Waking up refreshed is wonderful, isn't it? Today is the start of day 4 for me so that is what I put in roll call.

I know I haven't responded to everyone but I want you all to know that I read your posts and am VERY interested in all of you and how you are doing.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Back from yoga and the store was a ZOO...OMG they let a bus full of folks from the retirement home and they were clogging up the isles then everyone who is expecting white death and tons of snow were there too..but I did survive without passing the wine isle...yea for me...
There are so many folks creeping up on the 100 day mark....we should be so proud of ourselves and everyone else making this journey at any number of AF days is great.
WE BE JAMMIN!!!!

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE all, just a quick check in to say another day waking up without a hangover and god it feels good. Sleeping like a log but still feeling tired. Friday here and the thought of not having a wine tonight to celebrate the weekend is not even a fleeting thought.

Glad to see everyone is doing well and staying strong. Not long now Dot till your 100 days, i remember when you first started and the ups and downs. Wish we didnt have to go through them but there is light at the end of this tunnel for us all.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good morning to you, Available!! You're sounding chirpy this morning! I'm going to make you a nice cup of coffee (do you drink coffee?) and have some leftover apple crumble to go along with it. I'll join you for coffee in a few hours!

I want to post something from WIP that I just read again on JVo's thread, It's been posted a lot and is in the Toolbox, but just in case someone hasn't yet seen it-- it's great!

from WIP:
This is something I wrote and originally posted elsewhere; I thought it might fit into the "tool box" nicely:

Do You "Deserve" a Drink, Today?

I can't count the number of times I have seen someone come here and write a post in which s/he says that s/he has relapsed, or "slipped," because s/he had been doing well for a while, and decided that s/he "deserved" a drink.

And our alcoholic thinking does this to us. It totally bypasses the memory of the devastation, humiliation, and destruction that alcohol has brought into our lives, and it presents alcohol as a GOOD thing, a prize, a reward, something we want to give ourselves for a job well done.

I wrote a post a few days ago, about this way of thinking, but it was kind of buried in another thread. And I saw people talking about "deserving a drink," again today. What I wrote about was about changing our way of thinking from this self-destructive "Deprivation Mode" to a winning, successful, positive "Gratitude Mode." Here it is:

I don't think we can begin to truly grow into a successful, lifetime, AF plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "Deprivation Mode" to the "Gratitude Mode."

In Deprivation Mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."

In Gratitude Mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.

Most of us start a recovery program in deprivation mode. Some people stay there forever. Those people tend not to be able to create a consistently successful program, or life, of freedom from alcohol and its devastation. Some of us transition into gratitude mode.

For most of us, Gratitude Mode does not just happen all by itself. We have to make it happen. If we want to shift into gratitude mode, we learn to cultivate it. We cultivate it by being careful about our thoughts, and about what we notice. If we find ourselves thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a drink, we deliberately shift attention away from this train of thought, and we deliberately choose to think about how good it is to know we will never humiliate ourselves with alcohol again, never again have another horrible hangover, never disappoint our children again with the way we are when we get drunk. We notice alcohol advertising, pay attention to how it makes us feel, and detach from the message by noticing how distorted the message is.

That kind of thing is crucial. We literally can BUILD a new way of thinking and feeling about things. And I think that's something to be grateful for, in itself!

wip

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Overit--- "talking to one of my selves" is fantastic! I'll be using it in a sentence today! It's the truth and a little bit funny!
Hope you're having a smooooth day.

[Gardener]

Newbies Nest

Wish I felt the way you did Available, this quit is very hard for me this time. The first was a lot easier. Maybe a bit of depression I'm feeling. If it doesn't pass in a few days I'll check in with my Dr. Have a great day everyone.

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

"Graditude mode" sounds like Heaven! Thanks for the repost.

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

Great post, lifechange. Thanks for posting.

[minderaser]

Newbies Nest

Evening guys,
I've got day 4 sorted Cooking myself something nice and got a nice big bottle of juice.
hope everyone's doing well.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Aclassicgirl-I'm actually having a great day. I'm feeling WONDERFUL today. I remember this feeling and it's going to be AWESOME! Thanks.
Lifechange-Great re-post. It's just so true. Thank you for that.
Gardener-baby steps.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Hi Minderaser. we cross-posted. I cook a lot when I quit. It keeps my hands and my mind busy. I tend to get more creative too since I'm not being lazy and just trying to get my buzz on. Good work.

[available]

Newbies Nest

LC i am chirpy it is Friday and I am Day 6 and feeling good. Still that little bit of a niggle about it being Friday but have my AF drinks at home and no need to go to the shops this afternoon and if I do i will send the boys. I am planning on what i can clean and taking the dogs for a walk as the weekend is supposed to be fine and sunny.

Sorry to hear Gard that you are struggling. I have my moments, its not easy street but i just keep thinking of the 40 days I did and then i blew it by thinking i could moderate. That was a big NO. I'm just resigned to the fact I cant and wont drink and its a good thing when I remember all the negatives of when I was drinking. Just to wake without a hangover and the shakes is wonderful. I started on my "happy" pills as I call them and they have made a big difference to my mood and frame of mind. Instead of thinking everything was a chore and being negative they are now kicking in and I am finding little positives in everyday life.

Well I had better do some work, TFIF is all I can say.

Good on you K9 for giving up the fags, that is next on my "to do" list inside my head! I think I may have to buy a calendar kind of sounds like fun to look at the achievements and I love gold stars.

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

Can I ask what you mean by 'happy pills', available? I'm on prozac (have been for years now) but it doesn't do that much for me. Just when I tried to come off it I got much worse anxiety... So I've stayed on a low 'maintenance' dose.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just heard Nelson Mandela passed away today ~ RIP!

Lovely, welcome back & congrats to you on your AF time, just wonderful!
Having AA as a part of your plan sounds great, I'm very happy for you!

Olga, did you know that Vitamin D3 is a natural mood booster? If nothing else, think about supplementing! I am currently taking a big dose of Vitamin D3 for bone regrowth (osteoporosis).

Will be back a bit later