Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Jolie, I'm so happy to see you!!! Settle in and we will get you on your AF way!!! It is GREAT to see you, I have missed you something awful!! Welcome back! We can help! xo, Byrdie

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Hallo Jolie and Bohdi - we always have room for more in the Nest. Make yourself comfortable and start posting and reading.

Olga, well done on resisting all the temptations that came your way!!! Now that you know how an entire AF week feels, the journey will seem a lot more doable.

Avail - not only what Byrdie has in store, but the fact that you can post on the 100 day thread in 91 days' time - what an incentive.

Myluck, Lovely and Classic :l:l:l

Dave - well done! Many big numbers in the Nest: you, LC, Dotty, Myluck on 50 - we're on a roll here!

I've missed out on too many posts over the weekend (:blush: and apologies) to talk to everybody, but have a lovely AF Monday, everybody.

Oh, and to all the long-timers who pop in here - thanks! Your support is so appreciated.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE All:

Quick check in as I slept a tad late this morning. My sleep has been weird and wonderful the last couple of days, but I stayed up too late last night...

LC and Dottie - CONGRATULATIONS! I have enjoyed your positive, inspirational and supportive posts and am happy to be here to celebrate.

Welcome (back) Jolie. As you apparently know, this is a great place to be.

Olga - I'm with you. When I think back only one week ago - my things have changed.

Happy Monday, All. See you tonight.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Oh, MyLuck - 50 days is awesome. I'm glad you've found a path for you and your husband.

[HumbleRider]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the 13 Things article, Byrdie. I've saved a copy.

Aclassicgirl, I've had those crying and yelling feelings in the past month, just like I had them before I stopped drinking. The only difference now is that I don't scream, yell, or race out to get wine. I try to divert my attention to other things and remind myself that my peace of mind is my own doing. I choose how to react in my AF world. That helps me refocus.

Congrats on your 90th Dave. Man, you are getting old. . Going to read your post later today with my afternoon cup of tea.

Love, hang in there. Bohdi congrats on day 1, so difficult to get through. Dottie and LC, yay on the 100 days. Phenomenal. I can't wait to get the bird from Byrdie on that day! Hi Jolie, I'm new since you last posted.

Little Beagle, lol about the dog photos. I'm going to do the same this week.

Have a great AF MAE everyone. Every day AF is a milestone. Day 36 here.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Thanks so much for the lovely award Byrdie!!! And thanks to u all for the support. I could not and would not be here without this site...amazing!!
LC we did it!!!! Hope u stop by so I can salute u!!

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

HFN and Congrats on 100 days Dottie !!

Well Im stuck at home today due to the flu. No no..not me so much as the others at work. They all called in sick. I wonder how much AL played a part in this. I tried to call my boss last night to tell him that I probably would not come in today but his phone was off. I recall something about everyone having parties to go to..hmm. So this leaves me with some extra time on my hands to settle down on my perch for a bit and read over the past couple pages.

Gottaquit;1596222 wrote: Well guys......made it past day two and well into day 3!!! YAY!!
Still so much further to go, but starting to believe.........is it possible?
You put a smile on my face GQ . Congrats on your day 3! You know..I was wondering about something and Im going to use your post as a sort of springboard. Should/Do we measure our success for sobriety in terms of how long since our last drink? Yes we all have our own daily sobriety tree but do we have much further to go other than today? We are All in the same boat when it comes to if we choose to drink today or not. For me that is the standard measure..not putting any poison down my throat today. Dont get me wrong..Im all about celebrating our milestones..but each day we decide not to drink is cause for celebration itself. Im just as proud of you GQ as I am with anyone else .. no matter how long its been. Believe in today.

Bohdi;1596228 wrote: Hi everyone, I'm new here. *snip* I better get reading! This is a very big thread
Welcome to MWO Bohdi. I read hundreds of posts and page after page of threads in my first few days. Some real gems here. There were a few posts from long past that had 'clicked' something in me. I hope you find something of the kind :-)

Happy Birthday LC !!
Loveless;1596301 wrote:

*snip* if my husband can not help himself than no one else can either. *snip* ...I love him and I want to help him and be supportive as much as I can but I am worried that I am going to end up falling off the wagon if he continues to drink in front of me. i dont know what to do anymore...

*snip* Should i contiinue to stay and offer my support or should I leave him until he can get it together?

Hello Love and welcome back. You dont have to do anything right now other than keeping focus on your own sobriety. I dont agree with nobody being able to help him. You have to learn how to help him help himself. Just like we are. But helping him to help himself might take time even after you get on your own two feet. Im paraphrasing here.."like two balloons tied together..one helps either pull the other up..or holds them down". Just keep working on your own balloon as much as possible. Your prospectives will change as you progress down your journey..

Myluck;1596304 wrote:

All, just stopped by to tell that we spoke with my DH and we agreed that he will stay sober for 6 months

Howdies Myluck. I find myself thinking of you and your situation. I dont normally give out suggestions on others relationships..but If I could just say that you dont have to set anything in stone. I mean to say..that your constantly evaluating but being partially flexible might help to further your cause. One thing most guys dont like is ultimatums .. hell even commitments are tough for us. Like I said..I dont like to get involved between two people..but I felt I needed to say something.

OlgadaPolga;1596199 wrote: They are 'normal'. They can have fun without getting totally pissed. Why can't I?

Good morning OP. Great going on your 7 days! Hmm.. "fun"..."drink"... "normal". Dont envy that combination...pity it. They may have their version of fun..and drink..and normality. However go knocking on their door at 7am when your all bright eyed and bushy tailed and see what Normal got them with fun and drink. Dont feel sorry for yourself.

Janewalker;1596342 wrote: Hi all
Just to let you know- I am not going to give up trying to give up. I appreciate each and everyone of you
Hi Jane. "wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, we'll be there. This fine ship, this fine crew. Never give up... and never surrender. " -Galaxy Quest. Yea..I know its corny but it fits ;-)

Byrdlady;1596345 wrote: .. - "they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude" - "Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods."
This is very important. What is given can be taken away. Nobody can take away from that which you give to yourself. Good find Byrdie!

aclassicgirl;1596354 wrote: I am having a hard day gosh darn it! *snip* I'm having a hard day. I feel like crying and yelling at someone. I hate being surrounded by people and yet feeling so alone. It's one of my hardest times.
Reading/Feeling your struggle in your posts I think back to my first week and feel deeply for you. Its tough but keep strong and keep reading and posting. Im sure you already have someone to contact from here..use that lifeline it if you need to! I did..I needed to. :l

hadit;1596368 wrote: Unfortunatley, one girl was so drunk she made an absolute ass of herself sexually. That girl now has to turn up to work today and face others who didn,t step over that line.

Hey Hadit..hows it going. I remember one time especially when we were at an annual camping trip with a group of friends. We of course all got smashed..but one gal in particular got so wasted that she ended up on a camping table stripping off her clothes. She somehow remembered it the next morning. That was one fantasy that got unlocked by AL..one of a very personal nature. Everyone laughed and joked about it but I will never forget exactly how humiliated she was..how exposed she felt. Terrible.

Samstone;1596398 wrote: No matter how days a person has AF, it takes only one day to drink and feel bad, guilty, regrets, etc all over again. It really is great to be sober, it really is. Thank you my friends.

Spot on Sam..spot on !

Jolie;1596596 wrote: This love/hate relationship with AL has to end.

Howdies Jolie. Yea..crazy isnt it. Loving something that hates and destroys. Just wanted to say hello back :-)


Sorry I missed a few of you and for the long post ..but I haven't 'engaged' with you guys for some time now. Good to see the nest being so active. I got a few things to take care of here before I take a break so enjoy your day and stay strong.

Dave

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Good morning. Day 8. Feeling good. It was so nice to feel good on a Monday AM today. Will try to go back and catch up on the weekend posts.

[Gottaquit]

Newbies Nest

Changed my Mood

Hi Gambler........Thanks for the encouragement and keep the faith too!!!!!
Nearly at day 4 and yes, I count the time from the last drink!! So, at 9pm this evening, (Spanish time) I will have completed 4 whole days.......Have changed my profile mood to "AMAZED", to mark the occasion.....hehe!
So much to read today and so much success that is so good to see.........you ALL should be proud of yourselves, can't wait to add a few more days myself.
GQ xx
gambler;1596670 wrote: HFN and Congrats on 100 days Dottie !!

Well Im stuck at home today due to the flu. No no..not me so much as the others at work. They all called in sick. I wonder how much AL played a part in this. I tried to call my boss last night to tell him that I probably would not come in today but his phone was off. I recall something about everyone having parties to go to..hmm. So this leaves me with some extra time on my hands to settle down on my perch for a bit and read over the past couple pages.



You put a smile on my face GQ . Congrats on your day 3! You know..I was wondering about something and Im going to use your post as a sort of springboard. Should/Do we measure our success for sobriety in terms of how long since our last drink? Yes we all have our own daily sobriety tree but do we have much further to go other than today? We are All in the same boat when it comes to if we choose to drink today or not. For me that is the standard measure..not putting any poison down my throat today. Dont get me wrong..Im all about celebrating our milestones..but each day we decide not to drink is cause for celebration itself. Im just as proud of you GQ as I am with anyone else .. no matter how long its been. Believe in today.



Welcome to MWO Bohdi. I read hundreds of posts and page after page of threads in my first few days. Some real gems here. There were a few posts from long past that had 'clicked' something in me. I hope you find something of the kind :-)





Hello Love and welcome back. You dont have to do anything right now other than keeping focus on your own sobriety. I dont agree with nobody being able to help him. You have to learn how to help him help himself. Just like we are. But helping him to help himself might take time even after you get on your own two feet. Im paraphrasing here.."like two balloons tied together..one helps either pull the other up..or holds them down". Just keep working on your own balloon as much as possible. Your prospectives will change as you progress down your journey..



Howdies Myluck. I find myself thinking of you and your situation. I dont normally give out suggestions on others relationships..but If I could just say that you dont have to set anything in stone. I mean to say..that your constantly evaluating but being partially flexible might help to further your cause. One thing most guys dont like is ultimatums .. hell even commitments are tough for us. Like I said..I dont like to get involved between two people..but I felt I needed to say something.



Good morning OP. Great going on your 7 days! Hmm.. "fun"..."drink"... "normal". Dont envy that combination...pity it. They may have their version of fun..and drink..and normality. However go knocking on their door at 7am when your all bright eyed and bushy tailed and see what Normal got them with fun and drink. Dont feel sorry for yourself.



Hi Jane. "wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, we'll be there. This fine ship, this fine crew. Never give up... and never surrender. " -Galaxy Quest. Yea..I know its corny but it fits ;-)



This is very important. What is given can be taken away. Nobody can take away from that which you give to yourself. Good find Byrdie!





Reading/Feeling your struggle in your posts I think back to my first week and feel deeply for you. Its tough but keep strong and keep reading and posting. Im sure you already have someone to contact from here..use that lifeline it if you need to! I did..I needed to. :l



Hey Hadit..hows it going. I remember one time especially when we were at an annual camping trip with a group of friends. We of course all got smashed..but one gal in particular got so wasted that she ended up on a camping table stripping off her clothes. She somehow remembered it the next morning. That was one fantasy that got unlocked by AL..one of a very personal nature. Everyone laughed and joked about it but I will never forget exactly how humiliated she was..how exposed she felt. Terrible.



Spot on Sam..spot on !



Howdies Jolie. Yea..crazy isnt it. Loving something that hates and destroys. Just wanted to say hello back :-)


Sorry I missed a few of you and for the long post ..but I haven't 'engaged' with you guys for some time now. Good to see the nest being so active. I got a few things to take care of here before I take a break so enjoy your day and stay strong.

Dave

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

"Remember when you get like we are with AL, there is no middle ground...it's like being pregnant...either you are or you aren't"

LOL Byrdie!

[OlgadaPolga]

Newbies Nest

gambler;1596670 wrote:
Good morning OP. Great going on your 7 days! Hmm.. "fun"..."drink"... "normal". Dont envy that combination...pity it. They may have their version of fun..and drink..and normality. However go knocking on their door at 7am when your all bright eyed and bushy tailed and see what Normal got them with fun and drink. Dont feel sorry for yourself.

I know you're right - intellectually - but emotionally the toddler inside me is having a temper tantrum. "I want! I want! I want!"

From time to time I get flashes of how lovely life will be once this battle with myself is over but sometimes I have to acknowledge that I didn't just decide to quit last week and become serene all of a sudden. I wish! Doesn't mean I'm going to drink - but I have to admit I am feeling the pull of it, the siren call. It's all lies, I know that, but I also know that AL, for me, gives me sweet respite from the racing thoughts in my head... which are probably racing because of anxiety brought on because of AL... etc etc

So I do know the way to permanently calm the thoughts IS NOT TO DRINK, DAMMIT! But I'd be lying if I pretended on here that I'm totally happy about that. I want it both ways, don't we all?

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Pavati-I love this. "I think I resent that the choice has been taken away from me."
Janewalker-the "FLU" SUCKS! But, you just have to make it through. Call in sick to work, one last time, stay under the covers, read a good book, sleep and sleep some more, and each a lot.
Loveless-hugs. no answers for your situation, I can't even imagine.
Hadit-"The thought of Hangovers sickens me!!! " I'm thinking the same thing right now.
Loveless-not to down play the religious aspect of Christmas but remember, it's just a day that we gave a title to, like Groundhog's Day or Valentine's. It can be "Christmas" any day of the year. So, maybe do something you wouldn't normally do so you don't think in terms of missing something.
AClassicGirl-are you feeling better today?

Gotta run.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone! Not sure what prompted me to check in today - but I'm glad I did! Hi to Jolie...and welcome back....it's wonderful that you are not giving up.

Dottie, Dottie, Dottie....what can I say??? You were still struggling so when I was a regular! I'm so so so happy for you!!!

I want to throw in and forgive me if someone already said this - there's too much to read it all...but to Loveless - your emotions in those early days are absolutely all over the place and all are very heightened. Get out of the house with your son or do what you did, stay away from your husband when he's drinking....distract yourself from it...stay committed and see in him exactly why you'd never want to go back to that. But keep in mind that it might not be the best time to make drastic decisions. Yes, if you are in danger or if being around him is going to make you drink, then you must leave. But I do remember early on, feeling as if I could not handle staying married to my husband...and hating it so much when he drank....and when he didn't understand that I couldn't. I really felt like I hated him so much of the time. But as my sober time stretched out, my emotions evened out and I didn't hate him quite so much...If you can, give it some time so that you can look at the situation with a level head.

Hello to everyone else! I hope everyone is doing ok working through this holiday season! Has anyone brought up that post about a sober Christmas? sheesh, I can't even remember the name of the poster...that is a classic.

p.s. What is MAE?

lola

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Overit44;1596691 wrote: Pavati-I love this. "I think I resent that the choice has been taken away from me."

But how much better for us to recognize that we cannot drink rather than have the choice taken away because we are in the hospital or prison or dead.
With every choice we make in the course of our lives, we thereby give up other options.
What a gift to be able to choose not to drink while it still really is up to us and it remains in our power to make our subsequent choices and live the best AF life we can.
Once consumed, we can't control AL but we can choose not to drink and thereby regain as much control as any one has over his or her life.

:h NS

Hi, Lolab! Great to see you :l.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Any fans of Gemma Arterton here?

Going to see her perform life at Shakespeare Theatre. So excited!!!

Allan