Newbies Nest

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all for the warm welcome back! I know I can always count on this place to lift me up!

Special hello to Lav, Rusty, Byrdlady & Lolab - I have missed you all!

One day at a time, right? All the people here are the reason I keep coming back. I have to believe that one of these times will work for me!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Jolie!!! Stick around!

Hi Lola! So good to see you. Hope you're doing well! :h

[Rusty]

Newbies Nest

Good Afternoon, Nest Visitors and Residents,

Lolab-Great to see you. MAE= Morning, Afternoon and Evening, a greeting used to say hello to everyone in the Nest or on any thread because we are all on different time zones. The Christmas post you are referring to was the post by One2Many, and it was from Christmas of 2011, I think....yes, a classic! Maybe I will PM here and ask her to dig it up. Compelling, and one post that I read over and over and over again.

Jolie:l ODAAT. Absolutely! What's been going on with you....did some events prompt you to drink. Tell us. We care.:h

NS-I thought your post was so true and profound:

But how much better for us to recognize that we cannot drink rather than have the choice taken away because we are in the hospital or prison or dead. With every choice we make in the course of our lives, we thereby give up other options. What a gift to be able to choose not to drink while it still really is up to us and it remains in our power to make our subsequent choices and live the best AF life we can. Once consumed, we can't control AL but we can choose not to drink and thereby regain as much control as any one has over his or her life.

I hope everyone in the Nest is having a peaceful MAE.

xoxo
Rusty (Monthly Abstinence Thread)

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lola! Great to see you again! It's been a long time, but I'm glad you're here!

Dottie and Dave, congratulations on your milestones! I'm very happy for you both.

Lifechange, happy birthday!

Olga, I can sure empathize with how you feel. I know for myself, that I never, ever had it "both ways." It was just a terrible steam-roller of drinking. I pictured it being relaxing and all, but then I would wake up panicky and terrified in the middle of the night and worry about my health. "I'll just cut down, I'll just cut down," but I knew that was a lie and I was trapped in hell. My advice would be to just give it a little time. I thought I had anxiety at one point (while drinking). It was amazing to me to see that disappear and my moods level off. It will happen to you too!

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Olga-I'm with you. Are we about on the same days? Must be part of the cycle. That's why I liked what Pavati said, it's not that I want a drink that's making me upset but that the choice to have one has been taken away from me. We will get there, trust me. Pretty soon, it will be a choice, not an easy one but a simple one, knowing what would lie ahead, and instead taking the high road, the road that only cool people CHOOSE, the one that gets us to a better place and makes us actually feel sorry for those that do drink and (and according to Alan Carr) really don't have a choice, but we do.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Overit!

We all have tons of choices every day. We could step out in front of a truck or we could drink a cup of bleach. We know the outcomes of those choices would be disastrous. And for us Alkies, taking that first drink, by choice of course, is going to have the same horrible outcome. You're not depriving yourself by not running around in traffic or drinking bleach anymore than you are "depriving" yourself of not drinking alcohol (another form of poison).

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Lolab!!!! GREAT TO SEE YOU! Wow, I'm so glad you popped in!! Hope you will stick around, we have a great bunch of nesters here!!!
NoSugar, that was a great post about choice! You seem to capture in words what is flying around in my head!
Overit, you look FABULOUS today! No bags under your eyes!!!! Keep up the great work!! Byrdie

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters. Just popping to say Hi before heading off to work. I am putting all my thoughts into how nice life can be without al. Went outside early this morning and wandered around the garden; it was a crisp morning with lots of calm in the air.My head was clear; no hangover. I took a deep breath of the fresh air and was so pleased I didn,t drink last night. Normally I would have been wasted. Enough is enough of this madness. We all have choices. Why then is it so hard? I guess because we are alcoholics and addicted to such a destructive drug. Hope everyone has an enjoyable af day.

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

we were talking about movies the other day, here's a great documentary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dJ97Vwoup4[/video]]Drugged - High On Alcohol - YouTube

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone, another day in AF land and the joy of it. I loved your post K9 on choices, so very true and we have to make the most of what we have.

Lots of activity on the nest and it is nice to wake up and read all the inspiring posts. Welcome to the newbies that have arrived at a safe and welcoming place.

Hadit its great to wake up and smell the flowers isnt it instead of feeling like crap and getting through the day just to do it again and again and again. Drinking to me had become monotonous, same crap different day and breaking the cycle is the hardest thing to do but feels so good once done.

love i hope today is a better day for you and brings you some peace, just stay strong. you are winning the battle day by day.

Jane, one day at a time lovely that is all we can do.

Well for me I have decided to have another day off work, I am feeling fragile in that place so i figure it will not fall down without me and some ME time is great. The main person in this journey is myself and I have to focus on that instead of making everyone else happy.

My son just said to me before that he thinks he has worms and I said i thought i was fine, his reply was "mum you never eat so the worms cant live". I told him with a smile, thank you son but after ten days of being AF i am finally eating again. Bring on those worms i say! His logic is amazing at 20. Smartarse!

Today i will not drink

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone. :-) I'm doing really well. I've had my ups and downs and have sometimes had to try really hard to ride them out but presently am on an "up" where the voice hasn't whispered to me in awhile. That's always nice.

Rusty, I see the thread was bumped. For those of you who are wondering how you'll do without drinking this Christmas - take a look at this. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...way-53891.html

K9 - awesome profile pic - you get more and more gorgeous!

I'll be back.

[spiderwoman]

Newbies Nest

MAE - that's great and very logical. Today, a year ago I made the choice not to drink (initially it was for 90 days). I managed to convince myself that if I didn't have a drink for that long I would convince my partner I could manage my alcohol use. I took this decision after a major disagreement and him saying if things carried on it was all over.

The day was Sunday and I had spent the morning complaining to my two best friends what an arsehole he was - trying to tell me what to do, being abusive (telling me I drank too much), being unreasonable (telling me I was out of control). Eventually they left and I wouldn't stay where he was so I took myself out. I landed in a supermarket looking at all the Christmas goods I couldn't afford, the clothes I wanted to wear but which wouldn't fit and I couldn't afford anyway, nice food, again beyond my budget. All my disposable income, and money that was destined for household bills had been used to buy wine. I had recently had to have the fuel pump replaced on my car, because I was always driving with the warning light on as I wouldn't pay for petrol (it interfered with my wine expenditure). I then had a good look at the booze, all the different kinds of it that I used to keep in my home at another time of my life. It was at that point it hit me that if I ditched the booze I would be able to have other things - nice lady type things, frivolities like exensive cosmetics, nice candles, clothes. I would be able to pay the bills and not dread the postman arriving with reminders, I woudn't wonder if I'd make it through the week in my car or run out of fuel. On the minus side, my best friend was my drinking partner, but then she and my partner had enjoyed a major drunken row (her drunk, he tee total) the previous June so that was another complication. All these things were racing round my mind as I wandered aimlessly about among the Christmas shoppers wondering how on earth I was going to fund Christmas for my own family.

Eventually the shop shut and I had to go home and face the music, the atmosphere in my home was dreadful. His parents were coming to spend Christmas with us and I coudn't be so nasty as to put them off so a frozen truce was the order of the day. I had never felt more unhappy or lonely in my life and that is a big thing to admit having been widowed in 2005 from my husband of 31 years.

I was lucky in that I didn't have too much in the way of withdrawals, I'd subconsciously cut down a lot over the last couple of weeks but the fatigue and mood swings were vile, as were the sweats. Christmas came, I drank orange and passionfruit J20 in the glass I'd normally fill with bucks fizz. I had water - fizzy apple & lime flavour in my favourite wine glass. After about 10 days the demons arrived to revive all my memories of the bad things I'd done whilst drinking, those demons stayed several weeks, replaying over again in my head and imagination. In the meantime I had to hold down a job, run a home and pretend all was well in my life. Once my own demons abated, my partner decided to put the boot in and point out all the things I'd done to hurt him, my sons and to make damn sure I was humilated to the max, I had no defence, it was all true.

I can honestly say the first three months was a special kind of hell, I was reminded of my early days as a widow by the lonlieness. Then my partner suggested I find company in like minded people, it was the only kind deed in months and so I found MWO. From that point on I never really looked back. Through sheer bloody-mindedness I'd got through the first terrible weeks. I had a good dig around the site for several days and decided after a week I might like to join but what to call myself. He suggested Spiderwoman and such was my desperation for a kind word from him I took up the suggestion.

The unhappiness and lonlieness seems insummountable when you first begin the journey, you wonder if you'll ever drink again, then slowly the day dawns when you realise you have no wish whatsever to touch the stuff, a sniff in the bottle confirms its pretty vile, then ou get to think why on earth do I want to drink something that's going to make me feel bad and put weight on, damage the skin and hair.

People then begin to look at you as a bit of an oddity, "you don't drink" they say in puzzlement, now I just stare back and ask whyever would I want to do that? I fthey persist then I admit that I love wine, I love it a lot too much and it certainly doesn't love me - then I repeat whyever would I want to do that? Nobody will be able to provide a satisfactory answer.

Hoping that long ramble on helps somebody make sense of the situation in which we've all found ourselves. Enjoy your first sober Christmas, believe me its a real eye-opener.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Hiya all,

Thank you Spidey. Lovely post. Congratulations on 1 year of sobriety and your new life. :goodjob:

Greetings Nester's near and not so far! A big fat warm hello to y'all.

Wishing everyone a safe, sober, and magical week.

G bloke. :h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

CONGRATS on 1 year AF spiderwoman :wd:
Very happy for you today!

Lola - welcome back!!!!
Please stick around for a while, we've missed you

Olga, the trick to this whole thing is 'acceptance'!
When you finally push yourself to accept the fact that you can no longer drink safely - the pressure disappears. The monkey mind quiets down pretty quickly too

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Hello, hope everyone is doing well today.
Day 16 almost over here!
wishing everyone a wonderful af day!
-Love