Newbies Nest

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi All.

Just checking in at half-time. Fluff, I'm with you - go Saints.

Hi GotToQuit, rediscover & LCC.

JB, I've got a good feeling about this, you'll beat your record and then some! Way to go on 22 days af! Wow.

Jolie - "I know I'm a long way from being okay but I feel like I'm walking in the right direction" - Keep on walking don't look back! You're doing great.

Lav and everyone under the snow blanket - here's hoping for a quick thaw! I know what it's like to be stuck in 2 ft of snow. March is just around the corner now!

Take care.
tw

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,

Hey Tranq - did you see the picture I posted yesterday of my Swiss Mountain dog having fun in the snow? I just heard there's another storm on the way for Tues/Wed. Don't know where we're going to put it all

Well, I'm not really watching football.....think I'll go read something!
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the Nest - the night light will be on!

Lav

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone. Welcome to our newbies LCC, Got to quit and Rediscover. This is the right place to be in for help and support. Visit here often, post when you feel like and ask any questions that you need to. We are all in the same boat and we understand.
Good on ya JB you are getting there.
Jolie - isnt it great to actually remember what the movie was about. I find I have at least two extra hours in the evening as I am not recovering from a hangover and need to go to bed early or passing out from too much poison!
I had a bit of a challenging moment yesterday. I had my usual Sunday afternoon doing the gardening with my ipod blasting in my ears but not my usual liquid in my glass. Realised just what a habit drinking actually is. Still enjoyed my garden, loved listening to my music and had a real laugh watching my kitties play fight. Yet I still wanted wine!
Whenever I have been tempted to pour "just one" I think about how many days I have actually gone with out "just one" and the thought of starting over again is enough to stop me. I know if I do pick up that will be the end of everything I have struggled to get over the last 32 days because I wont stop at "just one". I havent had just one over the last thirty years so why would I think I can control it now.
Anyway take care, have a good sober week and I'll catch you later.
Hippy - taking it one minute at a time at the moment.

[Jane Thompson]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone – 11days AF so far and am feeling good, but a bit strange. I haven’t posted for a while, but I’ve been reading your posts – seems a bit like eavesdropping, but I haven’t really had anything to add. However, I have been thinking and reading lots – the posts on this website (‘my story’ and the tool box are amazing) and have started reading Rational Recovery, so I thought I’d share with you where I’m at. 11 days AF is not new to me – I’ve gone AF for 2-3 months in the past, and several months at a time when pregnant, but I’ve always gone back to drinking – never moderately and with each drinking episode I’ve seemed to become more ‘abnormal’ – secretly buying and drinking, justifying over-indulgence etc. So, although I’m happy to be AF now, there is a doubt in the back of mind that it really is ‘forever’ – what makes this time different? Is it just a matter of time before I decide (as in the past) “If I can quit for this long, I can’t have a problem, so just have one to be sociable/reward yourself/cheer up...” Giving up ODAT seems to be the way most people approach it, but from here it makes the rest of my life seem interminable!! (Like the joke about not smoking – you don’t actually live longer if you don’t smoke, it just seems like it!!!) So I bought Rational Recovery, and am halfway through reading it. If you haven’t, it’s definitely worth a look – it’s very confronting, and doesn’t allow us any excuses – genetics, stress, life issues, abuse etc. are all irrelevant – basically we all love the pleasure of getting smashed and our mid-brain (our ‘beast brain’) is addicted to that feeling and will do anything to get us to keep repeating that experience. The way out is to accept that there are 2 competing “I’s” – the real I, the intelligent, smart forebrain, and the primitive mid-brain. We need to change our thinking from “I want/need/deserve a drink” to “It wants/needs a drink” then we can see its addictive voice for what it is. The author is clearly against most ‘conventional’ forms of addiction treatment, and maintains that the idea of ODAT sets us up for failure – our beast makes us feel uncomfortable when we think about a life without alcohol, but once we see the beast for what it is, we realise we have the power not to drink. As I said, it is confronting, but in many ways makes a lot of sense – I’ve never liked the idea of AA in terms of being made to feel that I have a disease (I don’t believe I do), or that it’s important to spend lots of time with other problem drinkers – surely its better to spend time with people who don’t have a drink problem – make new friends who don’t have the same baggage as you? It does seem as though AA in the US is a powerful political organisation, and maybe the RR programme is responding to this – AA doesn’t have the same profile in the UK or Australia as far as I can see. Is anyone else familiar with RR – I’d love to find out what anyone else makes of it. Nice to be back posting, look forward to your thoughts… JT

[Sky]

Newbies Nest

Very interesting and thought provoking post JT. Thanks.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for that Jane. Am going to check the internet and order that book. Sounds interesting.
(I agree with your thoughts on AA too)
Take care.
HC

[JimBeam911]

Newbies Nest

JaneThompson,

I've read 'Rational Recovery' as well, and was also impressed by the no-excuses, no-nonsense approach of Jack Trimpey. The one and only time I read that book I achieved a solid AF run, and lo and behold, when I eventually gave in it was for one of the very reasons Trimpey identifies in his examples of 'addictive voice' or 'Beast' thinking. In fact, every time I've given in after achieving some sobriety it has been for one of the reasons he identifies! I have the book sitting on my shelf so perhaps I'll reread parts as a tune-up.

[Sky]

Newbies Nest

JT, I was thinking about your post re 'Rational Recovery' and I reckon you should post it as a seperate thread in General Discussion. Not everyone will see it in the Newbies Nest. This is, in fact, one of very few times I have visited here.

[Jane Thompson]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for your feedback HC, JB and Sky: JB it's interesting that you've read RR - did you make a 'Big Plan' ? (i.e. vow to yourself NEVER to have another drink?) That seems the part that my 'beast' gets agitated with (i.e. I feel it tell me that I don't need to go that far, how could I live without drinking EVER? blah, blah). Sky - I will put the post on the general discussion - thanks: I'm really interested in how RR works for people. Bye for now, JT

[Sky]

Newbies Nest

I tend to agree JT, that telling myself that I will never have another drink is rather agitating to me at the moment. Yet, when I gave up a year ago, for an extended period, I really didn't care whether I had another drink or not. So, I thought I could moderate. Turns out, that was the beginning of total disaster which it has taken me nearly a year to get over and have the courage to begin my AF journey again.

[JimBeam911]

Newbies Nest

JT, I didn't make a 'Big Plan', for the exact same reason you've identified. Oddly enough, if I recall the RR book correctly, Trimpey notes the common phenomenon of 'beast resistance' to a 'Big Plan' as a clear example of one's addictive voice. If you're interested, I've found some entertaining clips of Jack Trimpey on Youtube. Just type in his name.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Thanks JB and JT. I have just ordered the book on the net. I typed the name as you suggested JB and there is a short video. It gives the website rational.org which explains it in more detail.
Sky - welcome. Glad you found us. Good luck with your journey.
HC

[fluff]

Newbies Nest

Day -14 for Fluff.
Did not watch the whole game last night as I was pretty much bored and very tired-so went up to bed. I still am getting headaches in the morning -don't know if this is due to sinuses or low-carbing.
Hello to Hippy, Sky, Jane, Tranq,Jim, Lavande,Jolie, and all who check in.
Have a sober Monday!
Luv, Fluff

[allswell]

Newbies Nest

Made it past the superbowl sober which was, I thought, going to be a huge trigger and never turned out to be so. I have never read Rational Recovery however from personal experience the thought of never having a drink again was always an issue in the beginning of my quits. It seemed to subside after some AF time, I always went back because of delusions of moderation and no tools to either avoid or deal with social and/or life situations that caused me to cave in. I still have alot of work to do but the idea of never drinking again is no longer daunting but welcome.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hippy Chick you are sounding strong, good for you!!
Jane, congrats on your 11 AF days, great progress. I had not heard of Rational Recovery - just Googled it. Think I'll go back & do some more reading, interesting about the Beast brain!
Jim Beam, Sky, greetings! Good to see you!
Fluff, you have 2 weeks - good girl
allswell, you will be amazed at how your thinking changes as you continue your AF journey. I know mine certainly has.....

Hope everyone has a terrific AF Monday, be back later!
Lav