Newbies Nest

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie
I think the key phrase in your above post for a lot of folks teetering is "You know in your heart of hearts what must be done!! Don't go backwards, only forward!!!"
No truer statement was made... we all know the story and what we gotta do!! Kick its ass and not look back!!

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

HFN

Boy .. what a friday! It all started when I woke up lol. Got some coffee going..took a shower..got all my things together for work..went to go get my morning cup-o-joe for the ride ( I was already running late ) only to find that I didnt put any water in the damn pot. So..continuing with my decaffinated morning I realize this is trash day..damn!..quickly bagging up my rubbage and jumping into the car off I went. Whats this ? No fuel in the car..oh crap..time to stop for a quick 10 bucks worth. So on the way there I heard that it was going to be dumping 4-6 inches of white crap tonight-tomorrow. Oh great..we had picked up another 4 boats to wrap the other day..so I Know the boss is going to make us go out in this frost biting weather. Yuip..3 minutes after that the big guy calls "Hey..you and mike get into the shop and head on out those boats.". Oh yea..figured that much out. Froze my ass off..the other guy didnt do crappola to help which made it even longer out there than it had to be. Well after that It got much better. Got my ass into the heated shop and started on my glasswork. The other guy got sent home..which made me feel good because he was being worthless and I was pissed at him for every frozen finger and toe I had . All and all my day went ok..not as bad as it sounds and I did force myself to just grin and bear it. ( accept that other guy..he really did piss me off ! ). Nice to have my fingers all warmed up for a Friday postathon.. so whats shaking ..

little beagle;1598494 wrote: Having a rough patch here. Kids are fighting, he's leaving, doors are slamming, dogs are cringing. Uggghhhhhhh!
Ok..so my day went great compared to yours LB. Hard to come up with something to say..but I guess imagine how difficult it would have been for you if you hadnt been diligent in your sobriety. I know its tough..but it sounds like your being the only strong one in the bunch ( gotta feel for them dogs though ). Think about how each passing day your becoming more and more active instead of reactive. I hope things have settled down by now.

poppy62;1598503 wrote: I find so much useful, empathic information on this site along with so much joy, humour and reality its such a great place to be.

Hey hey Poppy..I posted in your other thread about that Men issue. Im sure I could say more..but thats the way most men are. I have to agree..this place has some of the most "real" people you can find anywhere. Its almost like we are forced to come to grips with ourselves more than others. Knowing ourselves more than others..making us be who we are instead of what we think others want us to be. What a great side effect of AF life..

Pinecone;1598304 wrote: I think we never know who we are going to help by posting something here. I have been truly surprised at times to find that someone has read something I thought was insignificant, and they valued the post. We can "tip" each other in the right directions, without even being conscious of it. Maybe we tip each other towards "a switch?"

Well think no more Pinecone :-). I wholeheartedly agree with this. I said something to this affect in my first few weeks here. Anyone can write anything at anytime that will somehow 'move' someone in the future. There were posts from years ago the night I found MWO that 'moved' me. You never know when or who..but what you say can have a profound impact on someone else. You could be long gone..but your legacy is there like a seed waiting for someone to find it. Cosmic ..

Londoner;1598587 wrote: Just feel detached from everything atm, hoping this feeling passes, but it just makes me want to booze more over the next few weeks. Subconcious and conscious mind are having the same thoughts

"What's the point"
I read over your posts today Lond..and your question is still the same from what I gathered. Honestly..I dont know what the point is. Maybe its finding the right questions rather than the answers. You have a new life to live..choices to make. The way it ends is not as important as how it begins..or how you chose to create it while living it. Its like building a house..but without blue prints. Where do you want the foundation to be..what is it made of. What color do you want to paint the walls. Two stories or a cabin on the lake. You have an opportunity for a blank canvas. Your given the primary colors..now you choose what pastels you can create out of those three. Dont stagnate..Move in the best direction you can. If you dont like it you can always change it. I think it was Lav that suggested before that you might want to find someone you can talk too..personally. If you think you need it..then please find help. Some dark places we can put ourselves into ( been there ). No harm in reaching out.

Yourfriend6116;1598591 wrote: I have 2 young children and I'm scared to death of the alcohol taking me from them.
Hi Yourfriend and welcome. Yea thats the thing about AL..he wont just take you away from them. He makes things as destructive and as painful as possible before he goes on his 'taking' ways. Your children have no voice in the matter..you choose for them. I can tell you that the love for my two boys created powerful tools which I have used. Find them and Use them to get you through the hard parts. Post and read as much as you can/need.

available;1598602 wrote: MAE all, day 14 here and still feeling resigned to not drinking which i think is a good thing but would like some motivation thrown in for good measure.

I would love to take you out dancing! I dunno..something about dancing comes to mind when I think of you. Oh..and if you like you can PM me and I can take you through how to post up some pics.

Byrdlady;1598662 wrote: Nesters, I wanted to copy a post I did a while back....to those feeling FLAT. Understanding that this is normal may help!!

Depression takes some time to get thru,but once you are on the other side, it's like stepping out of a world of black and white into a world of COLOR!!

You know in your heart of hearts what must be done!! Don't go backwards, only forward!!! XXOO, Byrdie

I dont normally quote you Byrdie..but I had to on this one. Great dig post for what seems to be the Ho Ho Ho time of year for AL. This part describing black and white compared to color covers so much and on so many levels. Virtually every aspect of being AF has magnanimously changed how we feel about our lives. Im sure this only gets better with time. What else can I say..( well after 5 minutes of trying to think of something..I give up )


Wowies..look at the time. I havent even started supper.

Gonna get going for now. I might be back later..or I might be snuggled in bed thinking about that lovely dance I had with Available

Dave.

Edit to add: Hey..I never noticed this before..there is a little blue box next to the name of the person being quoted that allows you to see the Full post of that person ( I do crop quote others posts myself ). Its good to see that you can read the whole post though. If its new .. thanks Mods :-) )

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters,

Have just read back a bit; lots of posts with a huge variation in mood and experience. The important thing here, I guess, is wherever you're at with your situation/circumstances, staying strong and sober will get you through and keep you on the path to a better life.

My parents are still in care. Mum's really depressed - two broken wrists and her husband (my Dad) totally confused and wanting me to take them both home. Very difficult. I am SO glad I am staying sober so I can help them.

Will check in again later,
Hang in there everyone,
love Steady

[available]

Newbies Nest

Aww thanks Dave, it would be a pleasure to go dancing with you and my two left feet but maybe I would be more co-ordinated with no al in me! Though I would prefer you visit Aus as the weather is so much warmer down under!

I will definitely PM you if it is no hassle to put pics up, have some lovely ones of the wedding i would love to share. Professional makeup artists are the bomb covering up blemishes and making one look younger!

Well I am glad to say that I downloaded Drinking a Love Story and it cost me zero. (Jvo i downloaded it off that site i PM'd you). Thanks Dot for mentioning Kindle for PC and ICloud. So now i can read this story that everyone has said is a brilliant read. Funny how little achievements make one feel so good about ones self.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Dave your post to Poppy was very insightful about us getting to really know ourselves. I agree.
Available I am having my 50th in Jan. My daughter is taking my to New Orleans. We are going to do some shopping and a Voodoo, Cemetary and Historical walking tour of the French Quarter. Since it's a weekend thing, we will probably go out and have an appatizer and a drink (NonAlcoholic for me, of course.). I am very excited.
Londoner all I can tell you is this, when I drank I had no fun because I was Isolated and hated even the thought of going out because it cut into my drinking time. Now I savor going places, I remember everything and enjoy it to the fullest.
It did take me awhile to feel this way and maybe you just haven't broken through yet. Yes for me it actually felt like breaking through a barrier.
Pinecone I have been thinking about the switch thing you were talking about. I feel as though I did find a switch. A way to finally stop drinking. It was a very dark, scary place I had to get to before it happened though.
Yeah for me. I finally got my PC back. Yes my family has a lot of work to do right now. I don't know how this is going to end up, but one thing is certain, drinking is not going to help my situation. I know this for fact. I will not give in. I am determined.
Have a great MAE everyone.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Good on you LB for being positive. We have our ups and downs, that is life but now we have to cope and deal with it without al. I need a juicer as i am so over fizzy drinks. Think i will go and buy some lemons so i can have with iced water.

It seems like a few of us are going to celebrate our 50th next year. I am kind of looking forward to it but its a big number. I think I am lucky to have made it after all I have done to my body so i am grateful. It sounds lovely that you are spending time with your daughter, those times are very special.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I will celebrate my 60th next year and I so cant even believe it....I have not had a sober birthday in I cant remember when....It will be a biggie for sure but I have until June to plan...

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Very cold here, just waiting for the next snowstorm, oh joy.

Hello & welcome Yourfriend, glad you found the nest, it's a safe place to settle in for a while
I hope you have found the Tool box by now & are putting together a good plan for yourself.

LB, I hope things settle down at home for you. You are doing a great job of not internalizing the BS created by others in your household - good for you

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy AF night!
Lav

[illyria]

Newbies Nest

I am really angry and overwhelmed. Still annoyed by tosspot counsellor gently asking intrusive questions, if his manner was congruent I would've told him to bugger off. Saw darling sister yesterday who is very hard work and not quite herself. Off with the fn fairies in fact, due to a week long (so far) ice binge. My hair is going to start falling out again if I don't deal with this properly.

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Dottie - when in June is your bd? Mine Is on June 9!
LIttleBeagle - so sorry your family is going through this. I hope it wil resolve soon - but like you said - drinking will not help - this is so true!!!
MAE nesters! Have a great weekend.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Mine is the 16th.

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie- this is greet info about the stages. I her wad about them before but I never thought I can apply this to the relationship with AL. So after what time frame acceptance comes? (Days) and if you think everybody go through same all stages?

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Just got home from Christmas party and I did it! I can hardly believe it. It really wasn't very easy! I had to be very deliberate in my thought to not justify the "one drink". I know it's a lie so just kept reminding myself and thinking about all I wanted to accomplish tomorrow. On the flip side, I enjoyed myself!! Was fun!
Lots of love to y'all! Day 13 complete!

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

If you have the time

If and when you have the time this link is harsh but real
Cherry Healey - Old Before My Time - Alcohol Documentary - YouTube

Wishing you all a safe and sober AF weekend

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Thanks NS – I actually like posting here for many different selfish reasons, so it is good to consider that I could be helping someone else as well. I hope I can, as I am taking plenty of help myself.

Day 40 is amazing, Humble. I love those nice round numbers.

Sorry you’re down, Londoner. Time of life, and also time of year.

Lovely photos, Available – I love a wedding, although I have never had to plan one (other than mine).

DTD – In my jammies but watching Top Chef in lieu of SoA.

Byrdie – right words at the right time, as usual.

Steady – that is a hard situation to see both of your parents helpless. I’m glad you’re sober to get through it.

LB and Pinecone – my switch was a dark place, too. I’m glad to be in the light.

AClass – I just finished a party, too. Mine was small and awkward so it was fine to not be drinking. I had fun talking to a group of younger teachers who made me laugh. A few people offered to get me drinks, including one who had my former favorite party drink, but I passed. It felt actually good to say no thanks. I did feel sorry for myself once or twice, thinking I never could say yes again, however. If I play it to the end, I don't feel sorry for myself. No hangover, no GSR, etc. But in the moment, I did for a bit.

Everyone else I missed, stay strong this weekend and thanks as always for your support. I have a hard time keeping up with the nest as I can’t really access MWO from work. I appreciate your thoughts and support, even if I can’t always respond.

One thing that struck me in that interview that Treetops posted earlier had to do with happiness. In surmising why female alcoholics are more prevalent now than 20 years ago, say, the hypothesis is that women are less happy than they were before. The researcher (her name escapes me now) says that actually we’re not less happy, we just have a greater expectation of happiness and when we’re not happy we think something is wrong with us. I think the human condition comprises ups and downs, and dealing with the downs without alcohol or drugs (depression and other mental illnesses not included) is part of being alive. Of course there are things we can do to minimize the unhappiness (exercise, eat well, be with friends and family), but we just need to experience them and we will get through them. I believe that is one of the premises of mindfulness (someone step in if I’m wrong).

My ramblings from the end of Day 12. Sleep tight. Stay sober.