Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi,

Feeling very blah. Now I will have to own the words I typed earlier. Blah is a part of life, and this, too, shall pass.

I am off to yet another holiday party. My plan is to drink the non-al cider they have for the kids and to leave EARLY to come home to bed. Will check in before sleep.

Hope everyone is doing well - Love, great to hear about your day with your son - I think I might get those gingerbread houses for my kids as well. I'm glad you're back on track.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Pav, I'm discovering that Blah is part of life and yet so is the euphoria that comes from not drinking. Ying and yang, the soft and hard. In tai chi, there is the relaxing, explosion and relaxing. There can't be one without the other. For me, that's good to know so that I know there's always light at the end of the tunnel, when things seem dark.
just my 2 cents.

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Thirteen days. Today would have been 14. It's the longest I've been, ever. But reporting a FAIL tonight. It's dumb and it's my fault, no matter what all I want to type for reasoning. I feel as bad as I have any other drunken night. Just didn't over come the perfect storm. Quiet house on a Saturday night. Out of left field. Justified myself all the way...
And I thought the Christmas party would be hard. Wrong.

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

What's so dumb is I texted drinking friends during the mind madness, rather than coming here. You can't tell me that wasn't calculated, huh? Stupido.

[finallydone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters! I have not been around as much as I used to be but none the less I wanted to send out encouragement to everyone and give me a prayer to during the holiday season. I am hanging in there. Moving on to another job this Monday that offers a lot more for me long-term wise. Stay strong and keep a good attitude. I am reminded of that fact that normal people can drink during the holidays and when Jan 2 comes around they might not again until this time of the year. A alky like me starts drinking and it might not end until Jan 2 2015. Food for thought I guess and realizing the difference between someone who goes for fun and a person who drinks for need. Remember there is nothing wrong with saying "No" to a drink. There is nothing wrong with wanting friends and family to support you when saying I won't be around anyplace where people are drinking. Always keep in mind the true ALer is one drink away to a thousand that can lead to bad mistakes....jail....broken families....bad health....and death. The true alky is always one drink away from there death or a horrible bottom. Take it from me. I have had some horrible bottoms and I am damn lucky I am still breathing. I am doing myself a favor. I just won't drink! Keep the faith in sobriety and everyday brings a new challenge that is much better in recovery!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAHBuWl48cg[/video]]Better Now - Collective Soul - YouTube

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Thank You FD. When I think of drinking I don't think of one I think of drowning myself.
Dottie, so sorry about your hubby. It made me laugh though, you saying it's just easier to do it yourself. I agree.
I am unwrapping day 250 on Christmas morning. Best present I ever gave myself.
Humble So glad to see you doing so great. Day 40.
I am in a holding pattern here until after Christmas. I don't want to ruin everything by kicking people out of my home, But this madness has to stop, Kids are doing drugs and they think we don't know. A blind person could see they are!! Even Hubby has noticed and is very upset. I just need to get it off my chest. Thanks.
I do appreciate everyone's support. It is what is keeping me going. ODAAT.
Have a great MAE everyone.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, AClass --

Sorry about tonight. Sounds like you know sort of what went wrong. I hope that you can re-join us tomorrow. One thing that has helped me a lot (advice I got here) is stopping and playing out the scenario if I were to drink. I don't play out the mild, good day when I only had one or two scenario, but the scenario that has me gulping drinks by myself on my couch, waking up with the GSR brothers at 3am, feeling awful, ruining the next day, wondering if everyone knows I'm hungover. It ain't pretty. As the song says, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.

FD - thanks for sharing the video.

Sam - thanks for the advice. I appreciate your experience - being only 13 days in I am realizing that one part of this whole sober thing is going to be to live through the normal sadness, anxiety, blahs without trying to chase them away with alcohol. Posting here really helped.

Signing off - Day 13. Good night, nest. I feel safely tucked in and grateful to be here.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

X post, LB. Sorry for what's going on. I love the 250 Christmas present you have given yourself - what a great gift.

[available]

Newbies Nest

LB what a great xmas present to yourself. Be proud of that one. God families, they can be good and life goes on just grand and then they F**k it up and your calm life goes out the window. Stress is not good for us alkies or not good for me anyways.

AC sorry you had a fall, trip, stumble. We have all done that I am sure, speaking for myself i have had so many day 1's. Just keep on here and post like a lunatic, i do that when the wanting, need, anger, sadness, despair hits me. So since i am new i am on here alot but thats ok. Everyone understands what we go through.

Pav we are at the same stage and i was like that a few days ago, but today was a good day, to spend it with my daughter and feel healthy and sober was the best. My other daughter is coming over for a baked dinner so its a nice sunday and i have to be grateful that i am sober and alive.

FD so true, oh to be a normal drinker but alas we are not. I know if i have one drink that is the end of me as the bottle will continue to be emptied and the next opened, maybe not on the first day but a few days after I will be back to where i was. I dont really want to drink, it is a habit that took a long time in forming and one that will take awhile to break.

I just appreciate the little things in life now, mainly i did not drink today and i am happier and healthier. With al i was nothing, just a drunk, a functioning drunk just.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

Beautiful Sunday morning in my part of the Nest. I've just made a pot of coffee - help yourself!

Classic, have a :l and make yourself comfy on your perch again - just use a bit more butt velcro, ok.

LB, you have some difficult decisions to make. I really admire you for coping with such madness and staying sober. And 250 prezzies - what an achievement that will be!

Lovely, licking the bowl is one of my best childhood memories - glad you are giving those to your son.

Dottie, the DIY route is often the quickest (unfortunately not the easiest) way to go.

Avail, I sometimes feel guilty when I post about our summer weather - and then LAv reports 2 inches of
Pav, Sam - so right about blah and wow being part of life. If there are no blah days, we'll never truly appreciate the wow days.

I've promised myself a lovely AF Sunday, and I hope all of you will have one too.

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters,

Just back from visiting Mum & Dad. Thanks for the kind words, people. It's around an hour's drive to the aged care facility and then the same back, during which time i have a lot of thinking time! This time i was able to ward off the thoughts of a few beers to relax with a lot quicker. Where would they have taken me? Back to square one, and back to drinking, bigtime. NO THANKYOU. My decision to quit is NON-NEGOTIABLE.

I get into the Nest, and make myself comfortable in other ways, and the future is still hopeful. Making solid plans helps in these days leading up to Xmas and New Years.

STAY STRONG Everyone, hold on tight, look after yourself,
love,
Steady

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Our posts crossed, DTD. Thanks for the coffee!

[sixtyfour]

Newbies Nest

Hi, am on day 23 (and not drinking tonight). I don't know what has happened, but after I was ill with the chest infection that knocked me back, a well meaning friend wrote to me and asked if I was sure I didn't have some really horrible lung disease due to the fact that I do have quite a few birds in the house. It's just what I needed, NOT. I have now spent two days in a panic that I do have this condition. I've been reading all about it, I have discovered that people who have a lot of birds (particularly parrots, cockatoos, parakeets, budgies etc) do have a measurable incidence of this disease so it's not unjustifiable that she mentioned it. But I can't shake it off! I'm really stressing out about it, and I mean that... keep Googling it etc, and the trouble is that it's not actually very easy to diagnose. I realise I truthfully am in a risk category, that's a fact, but I've also read that it's a RARE disease. I don't know how to deal with this. We all know what I would have done a month ago - hit the bottle big time. I have not done so now, and I am not intending to do so, but I've got this thing in my mind now which is really freaking me out and I don't have the crutch (AL) that I would have had before, when I'd have drunk myself into a stupor for a week or two and then I might have forgotten. No way am I going to do that now, of that I am certain. But I just don't know how to cope with my feelings of panic. I realise I have no strategies whatsoever for dealing with this. I'm honestly losing the plot, and I don't know what to do! I'm also scared stiff that I might end up grabbing a bottle of the shelf if I continue like this. (There are currently 23 bottles on the rack by my chair that up to now I've had no trouble avoiding). I've just gone into panic mode and I am really frantic. Sorry to post all this, but I'm s c a r e d.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Sixtyfour, well done on 23 days! Well done also on avoiding the 23 bottles on the shelf - funny that the numbers coincide - but should you not maybe get them out of sight? I think I know who will eventually win the battle between self-control and temptation in my house!

The only way to find out if you do have psittacosis is to go for a test: if you have it, it can be dealt with, if you don't, you'll have peace of mind. I understand that you are scared, but you have to take that first step to the doctor's rooms. Try to get an appointment first thing in the morning. (And clever as he is, Uncle Google is not a diagnostician - you are probably scaring yourself witless over nothing.) find out first, then act.

Stay strong!

[sixtyfour]

Newbies Nest

Hi Dream, thank you so much for answering and trying to inject a little sanity into me!

It's not actually psittacosis - that would be easy to diagnose and to treat... it's something called 'birdkeeper's lung' which is the common name for something totally different and considerably more serious, caused by breathing in a particular dust that those birds in particular naturally produce on their feathers, which sets up an allergic reaction. I have learnt that people like me, who have numerous birds in the house in my main rooms, are at risk of developing a severe allergy to breathing in this 'dust'. That's a fact, and it's something I had never heard of until my friend emailed me, tactless as ever but trying to be helpful. Nothing I Google says anything other than the facts.... I am genuinely in a risk situation. However, it isn't that common, though 2 in 20,000 people still seems quite a risk to me! The trouble is that there isn't one test that shows it - it involves specialists, hospitalisation and a whole raft of quite invasive tests in order to confirm it - at its worst, it can be life threatening. Early symptoms are the type of chest infection I've just had and that's why she's written to me. And like I say, I have absolutely no strategies to deal with the panic she's put me into! It's not her fault, she meant well, but like I said, I'm scared!

As for the 23 bottles - yes, that's a funny coincidence! But I have to deal with that - my husband does drink quite a bit if and when he drinks, but he's one of those people who sometimes drinks a whole bottle, sometimes has just a glass and the opened bottle sits there for days and days before he has another glass... and so on. Because I don't want to announce that I have given up alcohol, I am not telling him so it suits me very well that he thinks I'm not drinking because I have not quite got over this chest infection thing. (I have, but if he thinks I haven't it means he doesn't wonder why I'm not drinking). Sigh.