Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Thanks for sharing that video, Gutarista. It is good for me to see other professional women being open and honest about their alcoholism. She is brave in my book.

I'm off to the mall - blech! Can't believe I still need to shop.

Day 22 and I will not drink today.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome aboard, Iclem....I think it's Iclem or lclem....YOU know who you are. I'm sorry to hear that you hit the wall with AL, but consider it new beginning, not an end. There just comes a time when enough is enough and if you are at that point, I am happy for you! Settle on in, post as much as you want to and check out the tool box, the link is in my signature line below. You will have a most excellent starting point, Christmas Eve Eve! It will be easy to remember! I'm glad you are here and ready to take your life back. Give us some background when you are ready. We are great listeners! Byrdie

[lclem]

Newbies Nest

Thank you

Thank you Byrdlady

I am hoping support from this forum will prove helpful in my staying away from AL. I have had a problem with alcohol for as long as I can remember. It is never that I crave it, nut more a problem with limitation once I get started. I also use alcohol to loosen me up in social setting, and wind up way too loose. My husband is beyond frustrated with me, as he has no problem quitting after 2 to drinks. Wine is my drink of choice. He says he is tired of my empty apologies . They are not empty though, I am sorry, and would love to moderate, but I don.t think it is in the cards for me. I have tried to cut back time and time again. I am sick of the shame and guilt I feel, not to mention the hangovers. The thought that I can never have another drink terrifies me though

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

lclem;1602201 wrote: Thank you Byrdlady

I am hoping support from this forum will prove helpful in my staying away from AL. I have had a problem with alcohol for as long as I can remember. It is never that I crave it, nut more a problem with limitation once I get started. I also use alcohol to loosen me up in social setting, and wind up way too loose. My husband is beyond frustrated with me, as he has no problem quitting after 2 to drinks. Wine is my drink of choice. He says he is tired of my empty apologies . They are not empty though, I am sorry, and would love to moderate, but I don.t think it is in the cards for me. I have tried to cut back time and time again. I am sick of the shame and guilt I feel, not to mention the hangovers. The thought that I can never have another drink terrifies me though

You've hit the nail on the head with us all...once we start we just can't quit. My husband had it with me, too. We'd been married for 24 years at the time....I knew he was aggravated, but I didn't know how much until he walked out with his clothes the night of Jan 19, 2011. I don't remember my last drink or even going to bed. The next day he came home and told me to get my things in order, decide what I wanted and what we would sell. I knew I had to make a choice, either fight this with all I had or give in totally to it. Like you, I had tried moderation and I believe it actually got worse! So that day I made a vow to him and myself that I would not touch another drop of it and I haven't. It took a while to earn his trust back, but now we are stronger than ever. I can tell you this, getting AL out of your life will be the single best thing you've done for yourself! Are there times it's hard? Sure, but check in here and we'll talk you off the ledge. Getting some distance between you and the monster is the goal! Quit and never look back! I know that you are afraid of living your life without AL, but I'm here to tell you it can be done because I WAS you! I told myself, 'all you gotta do, is get thru THIS day'. I knew I could do that! It is different...and it is scary...but you will find that the FEAR of the whole thing is much worse than actually doing it! Stick close to us and we will help! So glad you are here! You are about to give yourself the best Christmas present possible....YOU! xo, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1602203 wrote:

Yikes, how true is this!!!??? B

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Crazy day...blood work first thing and the lab was so busy and mer thinks that the folks there didnt have vacation so stuck working...bad start and to stick me several times...bleh
Then dh to the dentist, grocery to pick up dads meds then visit to dad...
Fellow came to look at the leak and will be back Jan 2 to start work....bleh again...
I have lost what was left of my sanity....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
Glad u all are here..

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

LOVE the cartoon Byrdie!!

[lclem]

Newbies Nest

thanks again Byrdie
I am going to approach this one day at a time. I have stopped for a few weeks at a time many times. Then I convince myself I can handle it and the cycle starts again. I want this time to be different. Learning to do everything w/o alcohol is going to be a challenge

[WineBGone]

Newbies Nest

A sobering reminder of the devastation our body goes through when we drink this poison.

http://youtu.be/_dJ97Vwoup4[/video]]Drugged - High On Alcohol - YouTube

[lclem]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie
Wondering if after 2 years AF are you able to live not really thinking about alcohol, or is "not drinking" aways on your mind

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, lclem and welcome to a great spot. Listen to the wise ones here and it will start to make sense. I am only on day 22 and the biggest helps so far are reading and posting here (especially the newbies nest and the tool box in Byrdie's signature), and changing from a mindset of deprivation (I can't have alcohol, boo hoo) to gratitude (I get to have all of these things that alcohol deprived ME of). That is advice I've gotten from MWO and has made all the difference. Settle in and hold tight to the tail feathers of the wise birds here in the nest.

WineB I watched that video last night - awful and tragic. Thanks for sharing again.

Dottie - you are having such a run of bad luck and bad events! Stay strong and stay with us - it will be so much better to have figured it all out without being drunk or hungover as well.

Thanks for posting the Drunkard's Progress, Alan. Yikes, indeed.

Today I got up and braved the mall, and now I think I'm coming down with something. Bad cough, aches, etc. I'm getting in bed and going to watch season 3 of Downton Abbey before the new season starts.

I'll be back here, I am sure. Hope you are all doing well...

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

lclem;1602274 wrote: Byrdie
Wondering if after 2 years AF are you able to live not really thinking about alcohol, or is "not drinking" aways on your mind

Iclem,

I have discussed this with Byrdie many times and am close to 500 days af myself.

I don't think you will ever stop thinking about alcohol. But it gets a whole lot easier.

1) The more AF days you accumulate the more you have to loose and therefore you are more serious about your quit than say in the first 30 days

2) The longer you stay the more experienced you get. You will learn how to be confident in social situations without alcohol, how to answer "why you don't drink" questions. Even though some people will never let that one slide.

3) You discover a whole new world outside of drinking. For example I used to drink heavily every Friday and Saturday and then spend most of the following day in recovery. Now I book mini holidays. Try/buy new experiences like: helicopter rides, track days, long distance running, hiking....

You don't loose anything by stopping but you gain so much and it takes time to see that.

Hope this helps and I am sure Byrdie will add much more to this list.

Best of Luck!

Allan

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Pav it has been a rough 6 months and I am seriously stressed...which wont help anything...ate some chocolate....

[lclem]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Allan
I had a feeling alcohol was going to be ever present on the mind. It seems like even when your sober ,you are still a prisoner to it. Looking back to my adolescence all the way to 47 years of age, I have always struggled with alcohol. It is such a difficult thing to admit. I feel like I should be stronger, and able to control myself. It makes me very sad. I have hurt many people with words I have used while drinking. When I think back on all the pain Ive caused myself and others, it makes me want a drink. It is a dark dark cycle