Newbies Nest

[Fat fella]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. Day 1 safely out of the way. Have just had that first awkward conversation with friends we are seeing for new year, telling them I won't be drinking as I am confronting a problem with the stuff. They were very supportive to be honest and at least now I can turn up knowing they will help me instead of just trying to persuade me to drink (normal response when you just tell people you are not drinking, rather than admit to having a problem).

Have a good day all.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

FF
that's really good for you that your friends are supportive. It is really helpful that people understand that.
It may not always work that way and I sure you realize that as well. Just a word of caution... once they are drinking, they may forget their good intentions but that's the booze talking, and yet they may begin looking at themselves and reassessing their habits. In any event, be selfish and think only of your quit. Remember the agony of the hangover. Remember the PLEASURE OF NOT FEELING HUNGOVER

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

DTD I am going to take that advice and take a bCk seat.
Hadit glad you are doing so well. I honestly think AB is a wonderful tool.
Fatfella keep going just the way you are. You are on the path to success.
New Orleans is wonderful. The compant, the atmosphere, the trippy shopping, the food. I told my daughter last night Best Weekend Ever.
Have a great MAE everyone.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

DreamThinkDo;1604306 wrote:

I'm the family party planner - like so many of us here, I like to be in control (except when it came to how much of a vat of wine I poured down my throat :blush. I wanted to write the Christmas opera libretto, compose the music, conduct the orchestra, design and paint the set and be the diva on stage. Problem is, except for one brother, the whole family have some really strong views on how things should be done; add my SiLs to this mix and things get very interesting very quickly. This year, I decided to take a back seat, and what a change that made! When things needed doing, I pitched in, but I fell in with what the others wanted to do. I gave my opinion when asked for it, but didn't insist that my suggestions and my ways of doing tings were the best and only way to go. And you know what - Xmas was lovely!

So, my New Year's resolution is to take a back seat much more - the world does not need my help: it'll keep spinning on its own.

DTD,

This rings so true! I, like many here, am an acknowledged control freak who met her match in AL. In some ways it was much worse while I was drinking because I felt like I had to control everything about the environment (and the people in it!) so as not to disrupt my daily habit. I also had to manipulate things to keep my secrets well hidden.

This holiday season has been very chaotic around here with different people and their pets coming and going over almost a 2-week period and guess what? -- it has been fine and fun! People have had food and places to sleep. I haven't felt the need to try to make it "perfect" because I finally feel that I (and my home) are just fine as is and I have nothing to hide .

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Day 120 and I just cant believe it....It has not been easy but I feel so much better now. Evey day is not the struggle it once was. I do have thoughts and the "feckits" as Byrdie would say, but they are manageable now...to all the newbies it does get better and you can do it too...WooHoo

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Dottie Belle;1604554 wrote: MAE all,
Day 120 and I just cant believe it....It has not been easy but I feel so much better now. Evey day is not the struggle it once was. I do have thoughts and the "feckits" as Byrdie would say, but they are manageable now...to all the newbies it does get better and you can do it too...WooHoo

Congratulations, DB! Freedom from AL is the best!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Gosh, so many inspiring posts this morning!
Guitarista, thanks for that link to Glennon, I enjoyed that very much.
Rahul, great to see you back on track!
FF, you are kicking arse and taking names! The worst is behind you!!
Myra, great seeing you!!
Pavati, great words, as always!
DTD, I'm telling you, letting go of the controls is freedom! Nice going!!

Dottie Belle, what can we say?!!! You are a QUEEN!!! 120 big days, you are mere moments away from your flying underwear prize!! I hope you can 'make do' with today's award:

:crowned:

You are OUR Queen! Thank you for your loyalty and devotion to checking in here and supporting others! You are something else and we are SO PROUD OF YOU!!! GREAT JOB!!! This has been quite a year for you, but I believe you have come into your own...you are finding who YOU are! Here's to a lifetime of sobriety!!! (one day at a time, of course!)

Allan, I will keep an eye peeled for that Robert Redford movie....this relates to a dream I had that Double R's and I were in....we were somewhere and there was AL all around and he said, 'That stuff'll kill ya'. I agreed, but of course, he could have said the moon was here to pick us up and I would have agreed... we were getting very cozy when I woke up, dang it!!! ****sigh****

Welcome brand newbies, and welcome back those who are ready to get this monkey off your back once and for all!! Hope you have an easy, AF day today!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

CONGRATS on 120 Dottie :wd:
I just somehow knew Byrdie would find a prize just for you today

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Dottie - you were on 100 days just a minute or two ago - and we're celebrating again! Well done!

I hope this also means that LC is on 120 too - I miss her.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I miss LifeChange, too, DTD, I'll be glad when she gets back!

Lav, I have a closet full of prizes and I am HAPPY to give them! I thought today was Available's 30 day day? I left her a hat over on Roll Call...I hope she'll be by to claim it! xo

[HumbleRider]

Newbies Nest

Welcome winterwalk,
It's hard when those close to you drink and expect you to do the same. I'd just use that as an excuse to get wiped, thinking that if they wanted me to drink I must not have acted so horribly in the past or they wouldn't suggest a repeat performance. Justification to drink = deceit for me.

Fat fella, good to see you back. I joined a forum, can't even remember which one, way back in the early 2000s, didn't stick. Went to AA a couple of times. Didn't stick. Here now, this seems to be taking hold. I come here daily to read and post. Everyone is helpful and supportive. I am also not able to moderate. When I tried, I'd always be anxious and soon, sloshed and an embarrassment to everyone.

Ava, yay on you and your daughter talking again, the new puppy, and your chance to sit down and tell her what's been going on for you. I'm sure she will understand. Congrats on 30!

Pav, as usual, love your posts.

Congrats on your days AF Myra. Those first few days were always tough for me--it's good to see that you are keeping busy and upbeat. Classic, you sound great!

DTD, your post did help. Great idea to let go of the control on Christmas when it comes to how things play out. So happy to hear you enjoyed yourself AF.

Dottie, congrats on day 120. Woohoo!!!

Haha, Byrdie, gotta love those double R dreams. So funny.

To everyone, have a great AF MAE. You make this doable for me.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, Everyone:

A quick check in before I get started cleaning this house in earnest. Either that or a cup of coffee and my book. We'll see...

Humble - this was one of my favorite justifications: " ...thinking that if they wanted me to drink I must not have acted so horribly in the past or they wouldn't suggest a repeat performance." I can't be THAT bad or people wouldn't offer me one...

I find that now, even after such a short time, I am hyper-aware of other people and their drinking habits, noticing people who seem to be controlled by AL rather than in control themselves. I was reading something (I've read so much this month I can't remember where) about the belief some alcoholics have that alcoholism is alcoholism only when the alcoholic him or herself diagnoses it - no number of doctors, friends or logic can convince a person to quit drinking unless she accepts the fact that she must. This make so much sense to me, and highlights why acceptance is so important in sobriety.

I have to recommend the link G posted to all of you. I am so sensitive and have been all of my life, so that talk really struck a chord with me.

Dottie - congrats on your big number. What an amazing example of getting through it ALL without alcohol you have been! Thanks for supporting us all along the way.

Ava will have 30 days on 12/30, which for her in Oz comes sooner than it does for us, so your hat should be collected soon. I know because I am one day behind her, drafting on her success and strength.

Glad you're back, DTD! I need some better coffee than I'm brewing myself, and am already planning my New Year's morning menu...

OK - I'm off to read my book, as I am in full vacation mode. The dust bunnies can wait. Happy Sunday, all.

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Congrats Dottie on you huge achievement - you are strong!
Today I had this thought when I woke up: we all ALWAYS have choices. Each day we have a choice - to drink or not to drink, to eat healthy or not. To go to work or not. Even it seems at times we don't have a choice - this is not true. Even about work. You can choose not to work if you choose not to have a house to live in - it is still your choice. Each choice we make comes with the consequences - bad and good. So I choose not to drink. This is MY choice.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Day 1 : complete ... sober ! Feel not so great but not bad either. Glad didn't drink.
Wishing you all very sober new years eve !

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

New Year is just around the corner and I hope everyone has their new year resolutions planned and ready.

I for one went out shopping to take advantage of the sales and bought clothes one size down. This will keep me motivated to reach my goal weight in the first quarter of 2014.

AK