Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

finallydone;1604826 wrote: Hi Nesters! As we enter 2014 I have this goal of finally making it one year sober. Seems simple. But very tough. I am setting up many new changes in life and goals for 2014. It feels daunting at times, but I have never given up.

Go for it finallydone, its a noble cause you will join the likes of Brylady and will inspire everyone around ! You will be an inspiration to me as well.

Available congrats for 30 day AF Free ... this is huge ! keep going doing deviate from your path. I was AF for about 45 days back in september and was stupid to think i can control AL. and boom here am I in december with daily binge drinking on my day 2. Trust me it is easy to stay on course then to stop after you restart drinking.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Its winters and its DAY 2. challenge lies ahead. Not feeling so exiting in the working but will hang on. I will have to kick this poison out of my system.wishing you all the best.

Rahul

[sixtyfour]

Newbies Nest

Available - that's brilliant, well done on day 30! I hope you have strategies in place for NYE that don't place temptation in your way. My family are all away, so it's just me and my husband at the moment. Haven't been out for NYE for too many years to remember, I usually get a few questionable sounding phone calls from the children around midnight while they celebrate - the older I get the less I feel like celebrating.. the years go past too quickly, and I see little to celebrate in that! I shall celebrate by drinking coffee this year, and that for me will be an amazing experience! The only other time in the last twenty (?) years that I've been sober was four years ago when I managed exactly 120 days starting on on 30 December. I'm now on day 38, two more days and I'll have accomplished one third of that time. I'm feeling positive and don't plan on drinking but inside I'm very fragile and terrified that I may end up giving in to temptation - I'm basically pretty much 'untried' where temptation is concerned, other than feeling very depressed and lonely with all my children away, but I know I am giving myself the best treat possible by not drinking. My faith is very important to me and I just think maybe despite my loneliness (I know nobody in this town other than my husband and my children) it could be a good thing as I'm not being drawn into the old familiar ways involving alcohol. Even though I'm not able to post very often, I am eternally thankful for the support and advice I find on here. Take care all of you, and I hope you find inner strength to see you through. Sorry for not acknowledging other people who've posted, still haven't figured how to check past pages without accidentally signing myself out!

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Well done available. Seems just like yesterday you were on Day 1.Hope it is getting easier for you!!! 64 you are also kicking the crap out of al. Well done you 2.:goodjob::goodjob: Rah keep strong, we can do it!!

[nattie]

Newbies Nest

Morning , taking some advice given to me the other night & joining in here, if that's ok.
After a horrible binge Xmas Eve I spent the next few days trying to make it up (again) to my husband. Things were settling a bit & he had said some things to shock me, to help I think, not punish me as he is not like that.
One of the most hurtful things was when I texted him a few days after (always easier for me to write than say my feelings) and as part of his reply he said I appreciate you being sorry & feeling bad etc but after having received many of these texts/cards I now know the content before reading. He said he would do all he could to support me. Maybe there would come a day when he couldn't & he'd had enough.
I seem stuck ....I feel I can't be happy & act like it's all ok again , but then equally my apologies are worthless now as they sound hollow. I feel stuck in this feeling where I don't know how to behave or feel. He is the most kindest & sensitive man but I feel I need to make him fall in love with me again , having much more info at his hands than when we first met. I'm not a steady drinker , I'm a binge drinker who can't tell when I'm drunk & want more & more. I can manage days of one/two or no drinks but then there is always a binge waiting round the corner for me. Understandable he feels I drink cos he doesn't make me happy when that couldn't be further from the truth.
I have two missions now , sort out my drinking & try & keep hold of my husband .
Xx

[available]

Newbies Nest

Thanks all for the congratulations, it makes it more worthwhile and makes me also more determined to stay sober. As i have said and will keep on saying if it was not for all of you beautiful people i would not be sober today or tomorrow for that matter.

Sixty my plan is to stay at home and be safe and have my iced teas. The hardest part is figuring out what flavour to buy. I thought my son would be home but looks like he is going to his sisters so i will have the house to myself which means i can frolick naked if i care too, listen to my music and have me time. Yeah for me i say! I have no intention of inviting AL around to my house to celebrate, he can go next door but please not to the people who have that damn microphone!

Nat welcome to MWO. A lovely safe place to nest i must say. We have all been where you are, the guilt, shame, remorse. The one thing i have found is if you take alcohol out of the equation then the rest eventually fixes itself with some work. Prove to yourself and hubs that you can stop drinking and stick to it. Easy to say of course and I have had many day 1's but it gets easier to live without my ex best friend.

You will get a lot of good advice on here and some tough love thrown in for good measure but its worth it. My biggest hurdle was to admit to myself and my children that I was an alcoholic. I always classified myself as a binge drinker, i binged every night of the week but now I know i am not a normal drinker and i never can be. I can never drink alcohol again, that was hard to get my head around and I still have thoughts of just that one glass. One glass is nothing to me, if i have one i may as well have 100.

You can do this, we all have it in us, we just need to find our inner strength to dig ourselves out and start anew. Take care of yourself Nat and be kind to yourself as well.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters

Second-last day of the year already? My goodness!

Have some coffee to get you going, and beautiful fresh yellow cling peaches. Their fragrance has filled the entire house - absolutely lovely!

Avail - happiest of happy hat day happiness to you! You've had a lot to deal with this year, but knew what your goal was, even while drinking, and here you are! So proud of you!

Welcome Nattie! Have you started to decorate your perch yet? Make it as comfortable and pretty as you can - I hope you'll spend a lot of time with us. People will tell you this is an incredibly supportive place - because it is! Ask questions when you feel lost, read and post whenever you feel like drinking, and the urge will soon disappear.

Sixtyfour, have you joined a local church? I don't want to tout the church as a social club, but you're sure to meet like-minded people there. Loneliness can be dangerous. And you know that there's always somebody on the boards when you want company.

Rahul, day 2 will soon turn into day 3 - as you said, you just have to stay strong.

Hadit, us no-longer-drunks really deserve some sort of medal for pushing up coffee and tea consumption, don't you think?

Londoner, why don't you change your goals? Back when I started out here and I didn't think I'd make it to 30 days, 90 would have been impossible. Are you not setting yourself up for failure by setting the goals too high? Try for just one day AF, then another, then one more. To me, one day at a time is doable, 90 is like winning the lottery. And Lav, Sam, and Allan gave you excellent advice.

FD, love that expression of life feeling out of place!

I haven't made any plans for NYE, but I know what I'm not going to do: I will not grace the champagne shop with my presence or make them a present of my money! Come 1 January 2014, I'll make coffee for everybody, clearheaded and without a babbelas - the best way to start any day.

And speaking of starting the day: I have a garden that is crying out for water. Let me make it happy.

Have a lovely AF Monday, Nesters - the last one of this year!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, All: I think I am usually the last one up (other than those Aussies who are up for the day tomorrow already).

Whoo hoo, Avaliable! I knew you’d be by to participate in your celebration. I am just going to sleep here in CA – still on the 29th. I’m almost there – so tomorrow will be day 29 for me (which means that Poppy should be right behind, too). I love your resolve, your wit, your caring and your posts. Thanks for sharing your journey with us all.

Londoner – I think 64 had some great advice. Can you follow it? Have you? Or do you need more help, as Lav suggests. Getting this sorted now will make your life so much better!

64 – Congratulations – you are racking up the days, too. Can you possibly find a hobby or interest in town that would allow you to meet other people? I recommend the TED talk that G posted yesterday, or Brene Brown’s talk (that Free At Last has in her signature) on vulnerability. Good inspiration to get yourself out there.

MyLuck – I love your post – very economics teacher of you (I once taught that subject). Opportunity cost – every choice has a consequence. Skull re-wrote this quote for alcohol – “Being sober yet healthy is hard. Being drunk and sick is hard.
Choose your 'hard'.” I choose sober, too!

Sam – Thanks for stopping in. These words ring true for me, “Once you let go of the idea that you regret not being able to drink and accept the fact that what you are doing is so poisonous to you, why should I drink, things will start falling into place.”

Allan – Can’t wait to see the RR haircut!

FD – I am with you. Sober 2014. Let’s DO THIS!

Hadit – There is a tread somewhere here (I have to learn how to search for those things) called “You know you’re an alcoholic when…” There are some amazing feats of drunken decision making there – have a read. It will scare you straight!

Rahul – One day at a time is all there is – and you’ve made it two in a row! As people here point out all of the time, you have to PLAN for your sobriety - you can’t just wing it. What is your plan for NYE?

Nattie – Glad you made it to the nest. I would guess that being sober is the first and most important thing you can do to make amends with your husband. Of course, he won’t believe you at first because as you point out, he has gotten that text before. But relationships can be fixed once you work on healing yourself. You can operate from a position of strength if you are in a position of sobriety. My advice (at the wise old age of 28 days sober) is to read, read, read and post, post, post.

Glad to see you in the nest, DTD! I would love some peaches and I can’t wait for your New Year’s coffee. I am looking forward to that morning with a clear head.

Byrdie, Lav and NoSugar – I thank you every night, so here it is again. Thank you. Not much else to say.

So, Day 28 is all sewn up for me. I didn’t clean my house but went on another looong hike in the fresh air – I reckon I’ve covered 13 miles in the last two days. Exercise and fresh air are SO important to my mental well-being and therefore to my sobriety. There has been plenty of sunshine – too much in fact. It hasn’t really rained here at all this fall and winter. It sort of feels like the Twilight Zone.

Another rambling Pavati post – thanks for listening if you’ve gotten this far. I’ll check in here tomorrow – let’s share some sturdy New Year’s plans for being sober. Good night.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Found it! Hadit, this is the post Pav mentioned. It's a sad and hilarious thread. Will also bump it for others:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...hen-23467.html

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Hey, Nesters!

So pleased to hear you're enjoying yourself, Little Beagle, way to go!

Congratulations to Available on 30 days; some great posts from you. :goodjob:

Hadit, well done on getting out of the drinks with the old drinking buddy; that's a tough one to deal with. As you get more AF days under your belt, you'll be able to still connect with good friends, without anxiety around drinking.

Been doing some decluttering today for the New Year.

stay close, stay strong everyone,
love, Steady

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Dream T Do, I remember that thread. We have done some crazy things when boozed!!! thank you I am going to take another look to remind me of what a DH I have been.

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Thanks steady. Have you had a good day? I have been cleaning some venetians........anything to occupy my alkie brain!!!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Oh Dream i have opened that link and yes you are right sad but hilarious. I am just P**ing myself laughing at how posts are worded and sad knowing that that was i was like. What an interesting read this thread will be. I was wondering though how many are still fighting or winning the battle with AL as it was started in 2008. I wish we could all win. Yes you are so true, even when i was drinking i still posted on here and I still wanted to give up and i have, thank you for reminding me of this. F**k i've achieved something I said I was going to do. Wow is all i can say.

Had come clean my verticals please. I am like you cleaning and cleaning, it seems to be what i need and want to do at the moment. Next is an exercise plan which i am going to sit down and plan tomorrow. I used to love exercise but for some reason i am balking at it.

Pav i never miss a good party and a sober one is even better. We will continue climbing this mountain as a team and when we reach the summit we will still be a team.

Thanks Steady, i will keep posting with my wit and charm ha ha and sometimes lunacy but that is getting less as i get into the swing of being af.

Rah, keep going with being af, I always had a plan to stop as Dream stated and I carried through with it. Stress is a major factor for me to drink but now it is my choice not to drink and to learn to deal with stress in a different way. I feel like I am learning to walk again, baby steps each day.

Another productive cleaning day. I met the oven and decided i did not want to befriend it today. I cant even begin to think the last time I cleaned that one, so tomorrow we may become friendly or i may bond with the pantry cupboard.

NYE tomorrow, cant wait for 2014. No resolutions just going to take one day at a time but i need to get rid of the fags. Oh another site to go on and stalk, cant wait!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

available;1604956 wrote: F**k i've achieved something I said I was going to do. Wow is all i can say.

Is that not the greatest feeling in the world!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Yes Dream it is a wonderful feeling, now just between you and me my next achievement is to accomplish 100 days. Dont tell anyone though!