Newbies Nest

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Can you help me find a link to the video documentary that took place in Britain where the researcher followed four people? I can't for the life of me remember the title or find it!

[badger]

Newbies Nest

3June2013;1609987 wrote: Can you help me find a link to the video documentary that took place in Britain where the researcher followed four people? I can't for the life of me remember the title or find it!

"Rain in my Heart":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP0InrPZpjg[/video]]Rain In My Heart (1 of 10) - YouTube

thanks for the reminder, I should really watch this again & give myself another good scare

[Jammymammy]

Newbies Nest

I just watched it earlier! So glad it was posted, not only did I see parts of myself but also other members of my family! Strange to hold up a virtual mirror of the (similar in ways) drunk me, to the now sober me. Very very interesting experience to have & one that I'm hoping will be a building block for me going forward. So glad it was posted & so glad I watched it. How brave of the participants & families. They have helped at least me anyway :0)

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Here is another GREAT documentary that really got to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dJ97Vwoup4[/video]]Drugged - High On Alcohol - YouTube

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

I don't know what made me start thinking this way but I am starting to hear that voice again. I don't want drinking in my life at all and I certainly hate the feeling the next day. My mind however is doing the "what ifs?" What if I am in this situation and I automatically take a drink? What will I do when I don't have AL in my life? How do I spend my daily routine that has mostly included wine. People say it will be the same without it and maybe it will but what if I hate it? What if I am supposed to be a drinker and thats what my body needs in order to function correctly since it craves it so much. This past week I have been so proud of myself but when does that stop and become a normal routine or situation that is just me being me?

I will not drink today but it doesn't mean I don't want it. I do want it but I know what happens if I take a drink. It will mean me sitting in my recliner just watching tv shows and then having to watch them over because I can't remember watching them. I know I don't want that but I am running out of things to do or realize. When I get home I just want to go to bed...I have two hours of class tonight and I can't just go to bed. When will I get my energy back and when will I not feel so fragile and so hungry. I just want to eat eat eat to eat away the cravings. I took my AB last night so there is no way I can drink...I just don't know how to get through this sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for peace...

I don't know if this will make since to any of you but I just felt like writing out what I was thinking. sigh...

[Jammymammy]

Newbies Nest

Omg!!! Here here honey!! I just posted something very similar, only far less elegantly than you!) haven't ate chocolate in 5 years & today I had a crunchie bar & choc cookies!! Jeez!! It's only 9.17pm here and I have to go to bed because I'm wrecked!!

BUT I can wake up tomorrow and know I haven't make a complete show & embarrassment (whether real r perceived!) of myself! It's all going to be worth it!

Fingers crossed!!!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Honeysoup;1610058 wrote: I don't know what made me start thinking this way but I am starting to hear that voice again. I don't want drinking in my life at all and I certainly hate the feeling the next day. My mind however is doing the "what ifs?" What if I am in this situation and I automatically take a drink? What will I do when I don't have AL in my life? How do I spend my daily routine that has mostly included wine. People say it will be the same without it and maybe it will but what if I hate it? What if I am supposed to be a drinker and thats what my body needs in order to function correctly since it craves it so much. This past week I have been so proud of myself but when does that stop and become a normal routine or situation that is just me being me?

I will not drink today but it doesn't mean I don't want it. I do want it but I know what happens if I take a drink. It will mean me sitting in my recliner just watching tv shows and then having to watch them over because I can't remember watching them. I know I don't want that but I am running out of things to do or realize. When I get home I just want to go to bed...I have two hours of class tonight and I can't just go to bed. When will I get my energy back and when will I not feel so fragile and so hungry. I just want to eat eat eat to eat away the cravings. I took my AB last night so there is no way I can drink...I just don't know how to get through this sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for peace...

I don't know if this will make since to any of you but I just felt like writing out what I was thinking. sigh...

Honey, i dont think that voice every goes away completely but you learn to live with it. That voice can never win you need to realise that as if it does win you will be back to day 1 and who wants to go there, i certainly do not as i have "been there done that and have the badge". I know if i have a wine i will hate that first glass but will love the other 100 that go with it. I will be back to that point that got me to MWO, i dont want to disappoint the wonderful people on here or myself, i cant do it anymore. I cant lie to myself or anyone else. I am an alcoholic plain and simple and once i realised that it was like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I am eating that much sugar it is unbelievable and not motivated but thats ok, i have to take care of me, the rest will come. Your post said nothing positive about having that glass so think about that one! I cant think of a positive either now. The thoughts get less and less and i have become resigned to not drinking atm and happy that i dont have to drink to be happy as the one thing i do know, it did not make me happy!

Day 40 and feeling pretty chuffed. going to my SIL's for a sleep over and she was my best drinking buddy in the world but i have explained to her why i am not drinking and she kind of understands. I have packed my diet drinks and i am off with the attitude that I am protecting my quit above all else. If she tries to get me to drink, i will leave, simple as that.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Honeysoup;1610058 wrote: I don't know what made me start thinking this way but I am starting to hear that voice again. I don't want drinking in my life at all and I certainly hate the feeling the next day. My mind however is doing the "what ifs?" What if I am in this situation and I automatically take a drink? What will I do when I don't have AL in my life? How do I spend my daily routine that has mostly included wine. People say it will be the same without it and maybe it will but what if I hate it? What if I am supposed to be a drinker and thats what my body needs in order to function correctly since it craves it so much. This past week I have been so proud of myself but when does that stop and become a normal routine or situation that is just me being me?

I will not drink today but it doesn't mean I don't want it. I do want it but I know what happens if I take a drink. It will mean me sitting in my recliner just watching tv shows and then having to watch them over because I can't remember watching them. I know I don't want that but I am running out of things to do or realize. When I get home I just want to go to bed...I have two hours of class tonight and I can't just go to bed. When will I get my energy back and when will I not feel so fragile and so hungry. I just want to eat eat eat to eat away the cravings. I took my AB last night so there is no way I can drink...I just don't know how to get through this sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for peace...

I don't know if this will make since to any of you but I just felt like writing out what I was thinking. sigh...

Hey Honey! Can't add much to Available's solid post.
I bolded that area above....you know what that is? That is The Addict in us trying to make us cave. Honey, like Ava said, we are ALK's and as such we are going to have a period of adjustment until we are running on regular food instead of ethanol. There is going to be some discomfort as we adjust to our new lives. Try and turn around your thinking and focus on other things. Dwelling on it does make it worse, FORCE yourself to think of something else...name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's dwarfs or dwarves! Name off your cousins, recite the Lord's Prayer, come here and read and watch documentaries....make no mistake, we are ALKIE'S and don't let your brain tell you anything else, we must recover from this or die from it. Given those 2 choices I hope you will stay strong. Set yourself on a task...completing something gives you a real boost. Dig your heels in and do not give in no matter what and no matter who. Repeating the same cycle is insanity! One drink takes us back...ONE DRINK! After a period of sobriety, have you ever heard one person on here say that their sober life was worse? NO! It's better in every way! Take control of your mind and you will be good to go!!!

Loveless, I asked the same question...when does this get easier? I found that happened at Day 13....something just clicked in my head and I knew I could do it from then on out. I am so happy for your 10 days!! I fell twice at Day 12 and what a shame, I was almost to where the magic happens!! Hang in there, you can do this!!

Rahul, great to see you!!

Jammy, welcome to the nest! We are so glad you're here!

Poppy, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles...I don't have children, so will not render advice, but one thing I have learned is that leading by example is the best way to make a point....and you are doing just that. I said the same thing the other day, THANK GOD I AM SOBER and able to think with a clear head.

Off to get a bath and shake off this day. Hope you all had a good one. Byrdie

[nellie78]

Newbies Nest

its so hard isnt it. im here again and already worrying about the weekend and if ill crack. nice meal with my family who think I'm being 'dramatic'. maybe i am maybe im not. all i know is that i have probably been trying to drink sensibly now for over four years and i havent succeeded. not going is not an option so i am going to put a lot of effort into planning my night - going to drive, going to eat a little beforehand to satisfy hunger cravings that trigger my need to drink. going to fake an early morning run/swim appointment with a friend. i wonder does one have to hit rock bottom or go through something horrific to successfully ditch the alcohol or can you sensibly say to yourself - enough is enough and decide to commit to stopping? is the HSM approach a good one? i.e. go with a three month abstinence then scale it up? it is scary saying you will never doing something ever again that is such an all pervading aspect of life... and yet yep i agree with alan carr completely. maybe i need to re-read that book and re-watch all the awful programmes to shock myself into reality and give my resolve a boost... sorry for the ramble, thanks for listening x

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Nellie, sometimes when I start thinking in terms of never it CAN get overwhelming. BUT. Have you ever stuck your hand in an electrical socket? It hurts like hell. You can bet I wont do that anymore....same with AL, it is out to kill us. It just doesn't improve over time...if it isn't awful now, just give it a couple years. I wish like HELL Id have quit 20 years ago. One thing is for sure, this disease is progressive, just look around you at all of us here....learn from the 7 years of experience on this site. Get quit and stay quit, that's the take away! We are so glad you are here! Byrdie

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Nellie -I was wondering too about nessesity to hit rock bottom to give somebody a push to give up AL. I wonder this for my husband. Wait, actually he did hit the rock bottom when he was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis caused by drinking! 4 different doctors told him he can't drink or he will get to the hospital again and potentially this can cause pancreas cancer. I guess he chooses not to listen. So sometimes even some scary events don't stop, as my DH still struggling with AL.
By the way I went to AL Anon meeting today as our therapist suggested and I have very mixed feelings about it. I am not really religious person and it was a little over the top for me with "trust god - you will be ok" thing.
We are going to therapist tomorrow together again - I think I will have to report that it is not working for me.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Great conversations here. My two cents:

Honey and others - don't fixate on NEVER or FOREVER. I have fixated on those words for too long - they lead me to waiting too long (out of fear) to kick AL to the curb finally. How in the world was I supposed to get through Christmas with my family without booze? My birthday? Camping? A concert? As it turns out - I did, I can, and it was not scary or horrible (well, ok, I haven't camped yet, but I will!). As a matter of fact, I really enjoyed all of the above without alcohol. I actually got way more into the music at the concert, for example, and woke up for Christmas morning without the headache and sour stomach getting in the way of my enjoyment with my kids. However, and I have talked about this at length here and with my therapist - I don't really have to think about forever. I can be sober today. It might be hard today, but I can get through it, and then I can think about and tackle tomorrow when it comes. Byrdie is fond of saying that you never have two bad days in a row - I'm not sure about that at the very beginning, but I think the point is, whatever you feel right now you won't always feel. You will stop feeling it more quickly, perhaps, if you have a drink, but then you will have to feel it again the next time you are sober. May as well get it over with now.

My second cent - about rock bottom. I guess everyone's bottom is different, but I don't think a lot of people who have to quit drinking actually are homeless in the gutter - at least that's what I have learned reading here. This is a group of intelligent, professional, loving, funny, friendly, interesting, creative, introspective individuals who happen to have one thing in common - alcohol is interfering with one or more parts of their lives. For me, the trigger to finally join was a bad hangover (as the anxiety got worse and worse throughout this year). I decided that I would have one more hoorah over Thanksgiving and for a concert, and I guess my body said Holy S#!t - you're giving alcohol up? You should really drink a lot before that happens! What followed was the worst hangover I have ever had in my life - barfing and really really really awful anxiety. (I've taken to calling that The Thanksgiving Massacre.) That was my "bottom." That was the point at which I finally was honest to myself and said that I have a problem with alcohol and I no longer want it in my life. That point, in my experience, is different for different people - for some it is three glasses of wine a night (see the blog Unpickled for her story), and for some it is death (see the Rain... documentaries).

The fact that we are all here trying to figure out how to stay sober means that our "bottom" has happened. I guess some people can quit for some time and then moderate, but the AMA definition for moderation is no more than 8 drinks (American) per week for women, no more than three in one day. I honestly don't know many drinkers that are moderators by that definition. I am not judging at all, and some people find peace with alcohol that I honestly wish I had. But I don't.

And now I can say - that after 38 days sober I am actually and honestly feeling that EVEN IF I COULD, I wouldn't drink again (not all the time, mind you. Not yet). I have more energy, I am feeling better, I look better, I don't wake up at 3am with guilt and remorse, I know that I am living my life without pouring poison down my throat every night, I am setting a good example for my kids... The list goes on.

Well, a typical Pavati post - you got more than two cents. I guess I needed to type that out for me as much as for you all here.

The struggle will make us stronger. Ride that urge, keep yourselves busy, and get through TODAY sober. xo

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

I totally agree with Byrdie. The only thing you can do to help loved ones in trouble is lead by example. Live your life to the fullest and hope they see the happiness you have and want it for thems.
Rahul glad you are hanging in there.

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Great words tonight folks...it really does help to check in all throughout the day...good night all!

[Rivergal]

Newbies Nest

Wow

badger;1609988 wrote: "Rain in my Heart":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP0InrPZpjg[/video]]Rain In My Heart (1 of 10) - YouTube

thanks for the reminder, I should really watch this again & give myself another good scare

Just watched 10/10 of Rain in my Heart. Lord Jesus, please do not let me drink again. Going to try to go to sleep, hopefully without having nightmares about that documentary,
Peace & sobriety to all of us.
Annie
Day #15 AF