Newbies Nest

[JingleJo]

Newbies Nest

available;1610899 wrote:
Welcome Jingle, what made you think you could drink? I am interested as that is my biggest fear that i will have some idiotic thought one day and have A glass to be sociable or something. . !

Hey there,

Well, I took my first drink straight after running a marathon. Decided having a celebratory drink would do no harm. Plus i had earned it huh? Well, thats what i told myself! Had a "nice refreshing" pint of cider in a pub (still in my running gear) with a friend. This was at around 3pm. Hadnt intended on getting blootered. However, we were still in that same pub at closing time knocking back shots and all sorts (changed into proper clothes by this point btw). All I ate was 3 packets of crisps. Not very clever after running 26 miles.

Anyway, after the horrific hangover passed the next day, I somehow decided that I could perhaps moderate drinking and told myself I would just drink now and again, in social settings, that I wouldn't drink too much and if it started getting out of control again, I'd simply stop.

Wasn't long before I was sitting drinking alone in the house again, lying about it, doing anything to create drinking space etc..both frequency and quantity increased pretty quickly and, well, all the issues it caused before were in full motion again....except worse than before.

And, here I am, 7 months later thinking "why the f*ck was I so stupid?"

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

BH, what a lovely quote - thanks for posting! There's a discussion about the past going on in the Loamers - perhaps you could post it there too; I'm not sure if all of them visit the Nest regularly.

[moretoit]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters, today is day 9 for me, my first day AF was Jan 3, I guess I miscounted. I did not check in yesterday for I guess I felt like standing on my own two feet, and no I did not fall or trip.
Congrats to all who have made it and to all who are struggling and not tripping.
After my brothers uncalled for comment about me it made me make up my mind that he was not going to be right, he has always been a shit disturber. He is upset for my deceased brother broke a brotherly confindence to me about something he said and about what my sister said.
So now I only have to prove to myself and to the memory of my brother that his faith in me is more than worth it.
I have not gone to that site as of yet to blow off steam, for the past few days I have been at peace with myself.
I told the man in my life I was punishing him after my brother passed, and the treatment from two of my other siblings and for that I am sorry. He told me I was punishing myself. That still brings tears to my eyes and they are stinging right now with tears.
Quoting ""Gone With The Wind, with a slight change of words
As God is my witness, I will not drink again.
I want to continue to look myself in the eye and know who I am and be proud

There is more to it in life.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Lovely building a lifestyle af when someone you love is still drinking is very difficult, but by no means impossible.
No al in the house is #1.
I had to detach a little from my hubby as I was starting out. I stopped hanging out with him as he drank. I watched tv, put puzzles together, etc.
You have a sweet little boy you can play with and the time will be spend in pleasant memories instead of regrets. You are lucky for that distraction.
I have a crave killing, go to. DQ blizzards. Yes no sugar that might be bad, but it got me through the first 3 months, having a Georgia Mud Fudge blizzard on Friday night when I was feeling very weak. Trust me no al craving after that indulgence. Just hsng in there, it really will get easier.
Bhalo I loved your post.
MAE all.
Don't know why I have the thumbs down?

[Tavistock]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!!

Today is day 8!! I am so happy to have one week behind me. I'm going pottery shopping with my best friend today and then will hang at home cleaning, laundry, etc...

Hoping everyone has a wonderful AF day!! And may the weekend last longer than the usual 17 minutes it feels like.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

I just downloaded the 12 Step Buddhist. So far it is a good read. Thanks for this recommendation. I forget who, but YOU know!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Tavistock, great job on 8 days! We are one day overdue in giving you a MOON!

:moon:

Keep shining! We are cheek to cheek in this fight!!

Everyone sounds really strong! Stay the course and you will have NO regrets! Have a wonderful, relaxing, AF day! Byrdie

[Uglyhat]

Newbies Nest

Good morning!

Day 8, I believe. I'll need to ask my dear Mother for sure, as I detoxed at her house whilst I was ostensibly on my way to Mexico in the midst of a good bender when my truck motor gave way, but that's a whole 'nother story worthy of some laughs and no small amount of gratitude. My Wife swears I have the most powerful guardian angels of anyone she knows, and in retrospect I agree. Anyways ...

Very interesting dreams the last few nights - and how fascinating to even HAVE and REMEMBER them! Alcohol involved in every one. Thursday I don't recall specifically. Friday I was at some sort of work and the 'boss' gave me a huge slurpy-like vodka and 7up tyoe drink with a HUGE strawberry on top. In the dream I was like "oh man here I go again" and drank it anyway, hiding it from my mother-in-law who for some reason was in scrubs. Last night's dream I did not drink, rather I was a caretaker for a young man that seemed to habitually drink way too much.

I do feel different this time, and my Wife mentioned there seems something different and more serious about my present efforts. I am wary however, mindful of the paradox of proudly announcing one has finally dropped their ego.

Have a great af day everyone!

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

Hello, hope everyone is doing well today.

Today is day 13 for me and so far it is actually going pretty good. I have been painting and have not had any bad cravings so far. Later on I am going to an AA meeting. I know it is still too early to let my guard down because yesterday after I left an AA meeting on the way home I bought some al....stared at it for a while, talked it through with a friend, and poured it down the drain.
I am not going to stop fighting.

Hope everyone has a great day

-Love

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone.
So glad to see all the AF days counting up...It is a great accomplishment for everyone and u should be proud!!
I am going to a yoga class later. Weather is dreadful cold and dreary..but it is January.
I too am looking for things to do in my free time...summer is so much easier since I have my garden etc to putter in...winter is another thing....gym is still an option but I will need to go alone as I cant get dh off his arse. I will figure it out with a clear head and a good nights sleep...AF is a wonderful thing!!

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Have a great AF weekend everyone! Stay strong and have a plan, for any newbies at the nest just wanted to let you know that there is a soberJanuary thread which can provide additional support , we are focused on combatting AL one day at a time and are determined to have an AF month of January. Wishing everyone well.:l

[Overit-still]

Newbies Nest

MAE everyone! Day 17 here. Doing better today. I was grumpy and wanting my friend last night, thank goodness for my little white pill. Reading "Dry" and it's awesome, can't put it down.

J-Vo-since I had to change my name I lost the PM that you sent with reading suggestions. Can you send me the list of books again?

Have a great AF day everyone.

[available]

Newbies Nest

BH that is so true what you posted, i will save that.

Thanks Jingle for being honest about why. My daughter was getting married last year and mother visiting who drinks a few glasses a night and i had that moderation thought. I figured if i did not hide that secret bottle in my bedside drawer i was fine, i was moderating. The thing was was that i was filling the wine bottles in the fridge with water and putting them back the next day. As soon as my mother left after an argument i was drinking more if thats possible until i decided like you that i CANT moderate, i CANT be sociable with just one glass or two of wine, i CANT drink. FOREVER AGAIN.

Sixty congrats on your time, you are sounding so strong. Funny how the children just dont know how to deal with some things like your drinking but good on you for mentioning it. My children are a wealth of support than god as they give me the strength to keep going and god forbid if i did drink what they would say, i'm scared of them lol.

More good on you for being strong and in control and your partner would have made me cry too. make your brother proud of you. Remember we cannot pick our family and sometimes they really are not worth the pain and dramas in your life.

Ugly good on you for 8 days and we all like amusing posts so feel free. The drinking dreams, my best was my SIL visited and i told her i had given up drinking and she bought a 2 foot bottle of champers over and told me we have to drink it. I remember thinking who i would re-gift it too. Keep up the positive thoughts, something clicks in our brain that we have really had enough of the constant merry go round of al.

Love glad you are doing well. you are a strong independent woman and with determination you will achieve what you are doing for you and your son. Day 14 for you tomorrow or today. Woo hoo and not too far from breaking your last record. I am sure Byrd has an award waiting to happen, i so want another one but am waiting patiently. Stay strong!

Well today i get my blood test results so that should be interesting. I am trying not to stress myself out and i cant change what the results say but knowing i am not drinking now and i am doing something to heal myself is making this visit not that scary. I have not had a blood test for about 7 years. My theory was i would give up drinking for 5 weeks and then have the test. DUH i could not stop drinking for 1 day so that was not going to happen. 6 weeks now so i am hopeful.

Oh London keep going friend, you are sounding strong. Life is too short to be pouring al down our throats.

A sad note today in Aus, a 19 year old that was "king hit" on NYE has died, his parents turned off his life support. King hit by a 25 year old thug, they are now thinking of charging him with manslaughter which i hope they do. Much better than a slap on the wrist and all due to AL.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1611500 wrote: Congrats Tavistock, Ugly Hat, Overit-still, Loveless and all of my fellow nesters duking it out a day at a time.

Day 5, and not battling cravings as much as insomnia. Going to keep on trudging...
Hang in there everyone. It's only 1 day (let's deal with tomorrow, tomorrow).

From an episode of West Wing I watched the other night, (great, great show available on Netflix)

"I don't understand people who have one drink. I don't understand people who leave half a glass of wine on the table. I don't understand people who say they've had enough. How can you have enough of feeling like this? How can you not want to feel like this longer? My brain works differently." Leo Mcgarry (West Wing)

Dang! Jane...no truer words there! I didnt leave a drop left...ever. Our brains are wired differently, and there is no re-wiring it, I don't think. For me, AL is the enemy. It is going to kill me and I am just not under its spell anymore. Hallelooya!!

So good to see you!

Loveless. day 13 is the BOMB! Im so glad you are doing well today!

Hang in there everyone. Dig your heels in and do NOT give in no matter what and no matter who. Any situation involving ua and AL will not end well. Keep it the hell away!! You 'll be glad you did!! Byrdie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, back again. Sigh. I've had great success here in the past and am needing to come back to the nest to reset my priorities again. I was doing so well, but winter crushes me and I've slipped back into the old bad habit of pounding a lot of IPAs every night. Damnit. Why?! The important thing is I've gotten myself back here and again look forward to both receiving and delivering the kind of support we all need to maintain our commitment to keep the alc animal outta our lives.