Newbies Nest

[DipGal]

Newbies Nest

Musings - 10th day AF

Hello Nesters! Welcome Newbies! WAY TO GO for those of us staying with our plans.. and a ((Hug)) for those struggling. I?ve not been posting over the last couple of days because I?ve been busy, which is a very good thing.. AND, our internet was down when I wasn?t busy. Thanks to everyone who commented to me, and thanks to everyone else for their insight and ability to share their experiences..

Tree23 ? I seem to be unexplainably tired as well. I am also on day 10.

Musings...Thoughts....

It is my second weekend abstaining and I am totally fine. I am working around some of my habits and making them AF.. I do wonder if substituting is such a good idea, or if I should just get rid of the habit. For example, weekends always started with a bloody mary at around noon. I bought some bloody mary mix for virgin marys and will have one or two tomorrow. Also, we did some Mexican carry-out yesterday and have enough for 2 days worth of meals. I really missed a margarita yesterday (the taste, not the alcohol) with my food? so, today I picked up some zero calorie margarita mix and am drinking it now. It?s darn good, although it?s full of unhealthy chemicals! I think in Feb. I?ll work on getting the artificial stuff out of my diet.

When I picked up the Mexican food yesterday I went to the bar to wait for it to be prepared. I ordered an O?douls and then just sat at the bar staring at all the liquor bottles. I wondered if I?d have any kind of *feeling* or if a craving would develop. I must say that I was totally neutral and did not develop any craving.

Because of the bar ?test? I think I am ready to go into a normal bar/restaurant and watch my friends drink. It won?t happen next week, but the week after it might, and I am confident I can handle it.

I have done considerable amounts of reading over the last 2 weeks, both books and old MWO posts. I also watched one documentary ? the one with 29 yr. old Ryan who died 17 days into his 90 day rehab. All this reading and watching makes me more scared about DH?s situation since he is in deeper trouble than I. However, it opened my eyes as to what my drinking problem could turn into if I continued on the path I was on. It?s almost confusing to me as to what to do after my *30*. I absolutely know what the majority of you feel about this, but I know I?ll want to try moderating. The skills I am learning during my 30 will be very helpful, along with the contract I will make with myself.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Fin, i noticed that Byrd said you started the Roll Call so i had a look back and its funny how you wonder how all of the ones that initially posted are going. You started a wonderful thread and i find it definitely keeps me accountable. You know the drill.

Dip i watched the doco yesterday where Ryan died, i was devastated but seeing his dependency and struggles was so sad and how scared he was and what it did to the family. My thoughts before when i first started watching al movies and doco's was "i am not that bad" now 6 weeks in i am like "it doesnt matter about the consumption of what i drank, its that i drank way too much". It could have been me.

Moderating, yes totally true we all have our opinions. I did 40 days and thought yes i am in control, i can do this. I failed, totally and utterly. I now enjoy and accept that i cant drink, not saying i would not like to be sociable and have one or two but thats impossible. Like giving up smoking, which i have not done as yet, i know i wont be able to moderate smoking as much as i would love to. I'm addicted to nicotine as i am addicted to al. have one and i am on a downhill slide to where i dont ever want to be again. I also noted that when i did try modding again that when i did give up for good that the withdrawals were worse. But in saying that everyone is different, we are all individuals.

God i've got the waffles today. ha ha

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Dip! I have pretty strong feelings about the moderation debate ( as you might imagine). I never drank harder than the year I tried to do it. I was DETERMINED to make it work. If you ask yourself the hard questions and answer them honestly, you may decide to hold onto your quit with all you've got.
#1 Didn't you try to control your drinking BEFORE you got here? If you're like me, I began every day with promises to myself and by the time 4 rolled around, I was justifying why I should break my rule
#2. Were you EVER happy with just one? That is the definition of moderation, 7 units per week. If you check the mods boards, no one is sticking to that. They are depressed and wondering why. They "get" to drink but at what cost?
#3. Remember WHY you are feeling so good now, it's because you are AF. Bringing AL back in will put you right back in the place you were when you sought out a site for problem drinking. And worse. It gets harder every time you start over, not easier. Take it from me. Life is 1000 times better without AL in it.

When you really think about it, what favors has AL done for you?
Protect your precious quit at all costs. I have NEVER seen anyone moderate successfully longterm. NEVER. There are 7 years of archives to look thru here, check it out for yourself. You will chase that fantasy the rest of your life. AL is NOT worth it. It is a gamble we cant win. But like you say, it is everyone 's own journey to take, Just my 2 cents from being on the site for 4 years. It is like watching someone walk into a propeller. Byrdie

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Very pretty day today. The kind that makes glad to be af to enjoy it.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1611546 wrote: It is like watching someone walk into a propeller.

Yes, it is. It is painful to watch and even more painful to live through.

We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. How amazing is it that so many people here freely give the advice and support that some people pay thousands and thousands of dollars for. To make it even better, it is available 24/7 and you're not kicked out to figure it out on your own after 30 days.

We are individuals with different interests and wants and needs but in this addiction, we are more like than different. In fact, we're almost the same. Go read in that Relapse thread - same basic plot line every time.

Byrdie knows what she is talking about and is not charging you a cent for her good advice. Whenever there is no money changing hands, odds are there is no ulterior motive or conflict of interest. It just hurts too much to see people you care about walk into that spinning propeller.

[meshellrn]

Newbies Nest

Day 8 and doing great..... at times that is. I came home last night, hit my week mark and felt grumpy. You see, Friday night pizza night, wine night is how all this began. If you read my story. Anyway, i came home from work, had some seltzer water and pizza. I was grumpy as there was nothing on tv and we had not gotten a movie. I played some games on my phone and got into bed. My hubby was asking, whats wrong? I just had to say nothing really. I just do miss the buzz though. If i could just not go beond the buzz but i never can.

Today, i went and worked out with my best friend, had our toes done and out for sushi. she is one of my drining buddies and is very suppportive, but not ready to take the plundge yet. a lady next to us ordered a glass of chardoney, my drink. it was noon...... we both had water and laughed about it. we look foreward to me being able to moderate on the weekends only. i will only test it after my 30 day dry out.

well, i got the cd's , going to try them now. has anyone done them? all hand in newbies and others doing great!!!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Crazy day, 60 degrees, poured rain with thunder & lightning. This is the middle of January, right??

Meshell, if you plan to try to moderate after 30 days, that is your decision.
I had the same intention when I started here BUT changed my mind. As I approached that 30 day mark I asked myself honestly if I was ready for just 1 or 2 drinks. The answer was a resounding NO. I finally knew that the best thing for me was to remain AF. All the moderation attempts failed in the past & I didn't want to continue on that path. You decide when the time comes. Remember, 1 drink per day for any woman at any age is considered safe. I would not be satisfied with 1 drink
The CDs helped me tremendously. Use them as directed & in the recommended order.

Fin, good to see you back. Returning to those old habits always produces the same results, huh?

Congrats to everyone today.
Have a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Just a quick hello and check in...Day 11 for me...still very tired...its 8:30 on a Saturday and I am headed to bed. I haven't had a chance to read posts to day but I plan to check in tomorrow...sweet dreams everyone and here to another sober day xoxox

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Humble I completely relate to your trying to chug the last down and act sober for dh! Sixty four I get the flutter feeling as I had them too tonight! Glad evryne is hanging in

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Fin;1611509 wrote: Hi all, back again. Sigh. I've had great success here in the past and am needing to come back to the nest to reset my priorities again. I was doing so well, but winter crushes me and I've slipped back into the old bad habit of pounding a lot of IPAs every night. Damnit. Why?! The important thing is I've gotten myself back here and again look forward to both receiving and delivering the kind of support we all need to maintain our commitment to keep the alc animal outta our lives.

Hey Fin
glad to see you back. I know the deal, it is a good tasting beer, that IPA. Too bad it has AL in it, but then again I probably never would have been interested. Hope you're doing better. Stay close here. Lots of new faces. Still playing some mando?
Sam

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

FIN!!!! I've missed you .... Everytime I see
Your name on the roll call I wonder how you are and I'm so glad you are back.
Guess what? I'm on day 27!!!!! I so excited and feeling good -

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Fin! I wrote a long welcome back post and lost it(((
So here's a long welcome back
WEEEEEEEEELLLLLLCCCOMMMEE BBBBAAAACCCKK

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,


Day 6 starting here in Disney with kids. Feel great, morning feels fresh, and great. Yesterday evening I went for swimming alone, and I must say at that time I was hungry and after swim especially was. And then the craving started, I started imaginig it woukd so great to have a drink, then I imagined myself drinking alone waking up middle of night with dry throat and all the guilt. First thing I did was to grab a ice tea and gulped it. Sugar and something goig inside helps.

Thank God I am having big withdrawl sysmtoms, I guess travelling with kids the whole day and gettjg dead tired by the day end helps.

Best part is wakingup fresh in mornings.

Have a nice sober weekend you folks and enjoy life !!

Will post few pics for you tonite ...

[available]

Newbies Nest

Rahul i think something has clicked, good on you so very proud of what you are achieving. Now when you post pics tell me how. Poor NS tried her hardest and still i cant do it. There are times one needs a man! Good on you for knowing and realising the triggers as that is an important part. glad you holiday is going well and it must feel great to be there for the kids.

Ican day 27 what a great number, so close to 30 and gets easier as time goes on.

I went to drs and got my results back and everything is great, cept my cholesterol and i am low in vitamin D but no liver problems. Wow it feels great not to drink and worry about what i am doing to my body anymore and the good thing was i was not even that anxious before i went. If i had of been drinking my anxiety levels would have been through the roof, mind you if i had been drinking i would never have had a blood test.

Today is a great day!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, all.

Popping by to say nighty night.

I'm glad to meet you Fin - the roll call is a great thing.

Rocking it, Ican!

Ava - glad it all went well. Is the Dr. open on a Sunday?? I find with so many things that the anxiety before hand is SO much worse than the actual event. I stress about my big birthdays, for example, and was so worried about a sober holiday. Turned out to be pretty good!

I had a great day today with the family - a nice long hike, good food, and now I am going to settle in to a good book. I'm glad I did it all free from hangover and sober. I got into two hysterical laughing fits with my sister that felt so cleansing.

Keep on keeping on, Nesters. Good night from the end of day 41!