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    Icanwithoutacan;1612999 wrote: Great job Bastet and welcome True Grit!
    Thanks for the welcome and awesome job on your day 30! Ill see you there.
    Whoever I had become, the alcoholic, had to die.

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      Newbies Nest

      Thanks Basket, I am on day one (again) and all I can think about is going home and having a glass of wine and relaxing after a long day at work. Even though I have a hangover and feel awful. I am taking Topamax for migraines (when I remember to take it) after reading about this I am uping my dose to the 50 mg the doctor prescribed.

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        Newbies Nest

        Hello nesters

        Day 9 just ended ,came back home from a great sober vacation. Managed to stay sober and I must report occasional thought of Al did come but over all it was good and I was in control. Now I plan to stay this way ,I want to beat this poison even in my daily routine.

        Past few days have been great.every other vacation I have been either running for a drink or missing one. This time it was different after. Very very long time I knew I will not drink so stopped thinkingaboutit .

        I did notice that at several places prices of diet sodas especially in expensive restaurents. And then thought to myself heck its lot cheaper then 8 pints of beer ...

        I felt so close to my children like never before its been great.

        I am sorry I didn't get much time to read thru various posts with too much travel long but will do so in next few days.
        Rahul
        --------------------------------------------
        Rewiring my brain ... done ...
        Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
        Rebooting ... done ...
        Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

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          Newbies Nest

          :goodjob::applaud::kewl::greatjob2: ICan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          Dottie

          Newbie's Nest

          Tool Box
          ____________
          AF 9.1.2013

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            Newbies Nest

            Can Ican get her can up to the stage? It is with GREAT pride that I can award you this small token for a big job!

            :goodtime:

            Your 30 day hat! Congratulations! If you have a few words as to how you were able to do it, that 'd be great. Even a canned speech would work! We are SO proud of you! Keep up the great work!!! We knew you could without a can or bottle! Byrdie
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
            Tool Box
            Newbie's Nest

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              Newbies Nest

              How have you any of you made the first step? Modified that behavior? Made that choice and stuck to it. It feels almost like a physical need although I do believe it is psychologically driven. For the first 37 years of my life I never drank. A few short years later I can't remember not drinking. Does anyone have anger that comes out only when they are drinking. I can always remain calm until I've had a few too many. I work in healthcare so my experience with alcoholics is only with non-functioning people. I'm Indian so I also grew up with non-functioning people. I work a 40 hr a week job and am on-call 40-50 hours per week. I have raised 3 children to adulthood and have been the "rock" for all my relatives all my life. To look at me you would think I am a professional with it all together. I'm in uncharted territory. Any advice would be gravely appreciated.

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                Newbies Nest

                Greatly not gravely. Darn auto correct.

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Hi fellow nesters. Day 18 drawing to a close. Am feeling pretty good and confident most of the time. Couple of bad moments here and there but have now started to sleep properly and am waking feeling great!

                  Welcome all new joiners ( and returning ones ). The support and advice on this site is fantastic and has helped me get this far.

                  Any fellow quads still out there? Speak to me DD, WW and Hyper!
                  I can beat this.
                  Today is the day I start.
                  1st September 2015.

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Thanks guys and Byrdie I've been waiting a long time for that hat... It is securely in place. Thank you!!!!

                    I don't have a lot of wisdom to impart, but since I have tried so many times and fallen before I will try:

                    1. The biggest thing is that I now don't drink. I mean in my brain it's not an option. I don't know if it matters how this comes about but in my case my husband called me out on my drinking. Until now that was one if our favorite things to do together (have a beer), but he can have 1 beer; I was sneaking 7 a night sometimes 10 and way more if he was drinking more too or at parties -anyway, the last drink on Dec 15 was me alone drinking 7 after he went to bed and he noticed big time the next day when he looked in the fridge(damn forgot to rearrange that time so he wouldn't notice-lol). Anyway I was so ashamed and stubbornly set out to prove I could quit. So,it was initially out of shame but I was deep inside glad to be forced to quit again bc I was sinking fast. #1- I don't drink
                    2. That being said, my dad was diagnosed w dementia, my husband and I weren't getting along great, it was the holidays .... Yadayadayada...I had so many emotions and I had to feel them for the first time in a long time.and it sucked -bad- but I don't drink . Slowly, I started to realize emotions change frequently and learned to sit with them and let them pass... Still working on this. I think my brain is actually healing and I'm getting more even keeled. #2 accept your feelings and realize your brain is having a major overhaul and GIVE IT TIME
                    3. I use non alcoholic beer in a (coozie) idk what you all call 'em but it fools most people and those who ask I just say I'm not drinking. No big deal. I used to use
                    The fact that my husband liked TJ drink as an excuse like he wouldn't like me if I didn't but he likes me just fine - funny how your brain lies to get you drunk. I used to think my friends would abandon me but they're still around too#3- your worse fears of isolation and rejection probably aren't true
                    4. Watch a lot of Al documentaries - this really helps me a lot.
                    5. Check in daily and post. I'm not great at posting because it takes a long time on my iPhone but even reading around the site and watching other people encourage you and struggle w you is great.
                    6. You MUST IMO start to dream of your life sober not of your life without alcohol. It's a subtle but important distinction I think. I want to be happy in my sober life- thrilled even - not just getting by without alcohol. There are things every day that I celebrate only being able to do bc I'm sober- drive kids at night, projects w kids, chores I'm not letting slide, starting to dream Again .... Celebrate these
                    Oh - this morning I said to my husband , if I were in AA I'd get a 30 day chip today. He high fives me and says see you're not an alcoholic- you just have drinking problem : argh thank god for you all!
                    Now let's do this thing

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Ican,

                      I have been reading your posts since you joined and that post just made me cry. I am really really happy for you.

                      :l NS

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Ican, gosh that was great! Please consider putting that in the Tool Box!

                        Cheokeer! So glad you are with us! I would suggest (if you havent already) having a good read in the Tool Box. Link is below. It has many tips and tricks how to get thru the first challenging days. My tip is to keep your belly full and keep your mind occupied! Stay close, there are 7 years of history on these boards so you will find many stories similar to yours!

                        I just got a post from Dave (Gambler) and he is doing just fine! He is having massive computer problems and will be back asap! He said to tell everyone hello and thanks for asking about him!

                        Stay strong everyone! Scratching that itch just makes it spread! Byrdie
                        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                        Tool Box
                        Newbie's Nest

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Hello & welcome Cherokeer & TrueGrit - glad you both decided to join us
                          Please settle in & make yourselves comfortable. Making good plans for yourselves will help you reach your goals!

                          CONGRATS on 30 days AF Ican!
                          We are all very happy for you & proud of your commitment to your sobriety

                          Geem this has been one busy Tuesday around here - that's a good thing!
                          AF since 03/26/09
                          NF since 05/19/09
                          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Thanks NS Byrdie and Lav.... Huge fan of you all

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Ican
                              first: Congratulations!!!!
                              second: great post. Your point #6 is great; You MUST IMO start to dream of your life sober not of your life without alcohol. It's a subtle but important distinction I think. I want to be happy in my sober life- thrilled even - not just getting by without alcohol." For me, this has been key

                              Thanks for being here friend
                              Sam
                              Liberated 5/11/2013

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Hi to the newbies cherokeer and truegrit! Sorry if I missed other newbies. Waving hello to all the other supportive folks here!

                                Today is day #13 and I am continuing to plod along. I am pleased that today I finally checked at least 4 items off my to-do list. Procrastinating is one of my other bigger problems, along with excess food and booze.. Tackling these faults one at a time!

                                ICan - great post today!
                                "We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections."
                                ~John Lennon

                                Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.

                                ~Author Unknown

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