Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Welcome yellow lab...u have found a great place. Check out the tool box, link below. You can read lots of great info that will help u keep on the AF track..make a plan for not drinking particularly when there is stress or any other situation where u would turn to AL..It is doable...u can do this...stick with us and we will help u.
Getting my hair trimmed again today....run a few errands but nothing big..
Cold and yucky again...snow flakes and just ugly out...but alive and well so it is a good day.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Go to sleep for a few hours around here and you miss big doings!
DreamThinkDo, please accept this Newbie's Nest original HAT!
:goodtime:

You have been such a positive force here in the nest! Thank you for all you dream, think and DO here! 30 days in our world is huge.... Many never make it, what has gotten you thru? We want a speech FPS! Well done!

AclassicGirl, please step forward. 90 days is epic! Please accept this small token of this milestone...
:record:

Is this a record? We are SO proud of you! 90 days means you are in the groove! Keep it spinning!

Cherokeer, I see a lot of similarities in our stories. As you can see this problem can be overcome! We will help you any and every way you'll let us!! Stay close and you will amaze yourself!
Hope everyone has an easy day today!!! Holler if you need a boost, we have long distance jumper cables!! Byrdie

Edit to add: welcome yellow lab!!

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein,
I am right where you are. I realize for me its an insanity cycle. Drinking-hangover-self loathing-not wanting to feel self loathing-drinking-repeat cycle. I have to step off this crazy train. I am just going to breathe today and have a cup of tea. That's my plan for today. I am not going to overwhelm myself with every variable. Today I just breathe and drink a cup of tea.

[Overit-still]

Newbies Nest

MAE nesters! Got lots of sleep last night and WOW what a difference! The last 2 days made me feel like I was detoxing again, in terms of Zombie, I don't know what was wrong other than needing some sleep.

Welcome to all the ckicks coming in.

Jane27-great response.

Special hello to MS! Missed you.

Have a great AF day everyone.

K9-yes, I TTFP today. one more day, one more pill...........................

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

I hear you, Cherokeer. I know that I have to make a plan very soon, but as today is only Day 2... I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. One day at a time. I'm also planning on a nice cup of sleepy time tea soon so I can relax. We're in this together. Much love and strength to you. :l

[Yellow Lab]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the welcomes, reading your stories actually makes me feel less alone in this. I normally drink alone, in front of a computer with long cigarette breaks in the backyard, this lasts all night usually a few bottles of wine...this has been my entertainment for years, then I'm sick as the next day, promise myself I'm going to quit...then I do the same thing the next week or a few days later. Day 1 down not a big accomplishment for me, tomorrow is Friday here...always a tough one. If I could make it for more than 1 week it would be something big! Gonna come back here tomorrow. Goodnight all ��

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesties!

Welcome Yellow Lab and welcome BACK Mein!! Yellow - I could have written your post. My MO was to plunk down in front of the computer and slowly but surely get trashed, with some cigarette breaks in the backyard (becoming more and more frequent as the night wore on). The end result was never knowing what I'd emailed, written, texted, called, said...and the next morning was a big scramble to try to figure it out and piece it together. I have to say that planning to drink, drinking, and recovering the next day was A LOT of work. Like Available said, drinking for me stopped being fun a long time ago! You can do this...stick close to us and let us help you!

Hi Jane! Yes, a lot of us have dogs and turned to them in our worst drunken days, probably because they don't judge us! If you guys are like me, you lost most of your friends and relationships due to alcohol, and were left with JUST the dog! Not that I'm complaining too much, I prefer dogs to humans. :H

Happy Hump Day Nesters...stick close and stay focused! We can do this!

p.s. Overit...good job on TTFP! :happy:

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Mein! How many dats had you gotten before? I can't recall although I know it was quite a string....and you can do it again.... Can you tell us what happened that you chose to drink again? Will help those of us on our journey ... Thx .... Hope you're feeling better and I found my anxiety and depression were caused by drinking

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Days

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

No Jane, THANK YOU! Posting here, admitting my weakness is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It means a lot being here, not being judged, not being watched or questioned, and just being understood. My logical self seems to be at war with my emotional self. Hoping the two can become friends as I behavior mod my way through life. Thanks again!

Mein, Hang in there. Just breathe. I find myself thinking about when I get home and am cooking dinner and how I am going to break the habit of having a glass of wine. I start cooking. I pour myself a glass of wine. That is my habit. Physical and psychological. I'm trying to look at it like when I quit smoking. I used to light up as soon as I got in the car. I couldn't wait to get out of work to take that first puff. Feel that relaxing Ahh of the first drag. I found that once I didn't have that cigarette I didn't know what to do with my hands and I missed the activity of smoking on my way home. Now I just drive home. I don't even think of a cigarette. Perhaps a cup of tea is the first step to a new habit. Maybe I am being na?ve or looking at it too simplistically. But time will tell.

Yellow Lab, Plan for today. I am new here too. I wish peace and strength to bring you through today.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Just read through a bit--

Ican, I am so damned proud of you! What a great 30 day post. You'd inspire anyone to give it a good go.... and with great, tried and trusted advice. Thank you for that.

Avail, also wanted to tell you how happy I was to come back and see you with your 40++ days! I was hoping and praying you'd found YOUR way and you are in a really good place. And so helpful with your gentle support.:l

Welcome Back Sonnenschein! I'm always glad to see your avatar here in the Nest and around the boards. Keep posting every day to let us know how you are and to keep yourself on track.

For everyone just back or just starting out..Like Lav asked, "What is your plan of action to stay sober"?

WELCOME Cherokeer and welcome Yellow Lab! You definitely are NOT alone. There's basically always someone here to talk to, bitch to, cry to-- we all understand.

Jane27, I really like your thoughtful posts-- and your style of writing! Good to have you here!!

So I thought I would be feeling better today and I've had a list of things to do since Monday-- including getting my butt to the gym. But I still feel incredibly tired! Jet lag shouldn't last more than a week should it? It doesn't help that the skies are gray and gloomy.
Wouldn't mind some of that Australian sunshine right about now.:h to you all..

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

I want to share something from the Toolbox, which I just read in Sunbeam's signature.
A really good TOOL to have. xo

Originally Posted by johnnyh
1. Cultivate continued acceptance of the fact that your choice is between unhappy, drunken drinking and doing without just one small drink.

2. Cultivate enthusiastic gratitude that you have had the good fortune of finding out what was wrong with you before it was too late.

3. EXPECT as being natural and inevitable, that for a period of time (and it may be a long one), you will recuringly experience.
(a) The conscious, nagging craving for a drink.
(b) The sudden, all but compelling impluse just to take a drink.
(c) The craving, not for a drinks as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or two once gave you.

4. Remember that the times you don't want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength not to take one when you do want it.

5. Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live the day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.

6. Don't for a split second allow yourself to think: 'Isn't it a pity or a mean injustice that I can't take a drink like so-called normal people'.

7. Don't allow yourself to either think about or talk about any real or imgagined pleasure you once did get from drinking

8. Don't permit yourself to think a drink or two would make some bad situation better, or at least easier to live with. Substitute the thought : 'One drink will make it worse - One drink will mean a drunk.'

9. Minimise your situation. Others have greater problems, how joyful such people would be if their problem could be solved by just not taking one little drink today. Think gratefully how lucky you are to have so simple and small a problem.

10. Cultivate and woo enjoyment of sobriety.
a) how good it is to be free of shame and guilt
b) how good it is to be free of the consequences of a drunk just ended or of a coming drunk you've been never able to prevent before.
c) how good it is to be free of what people have been thinking and whispering about you, and of their mingled pity and contempt
d) How good it is to be free of fear.

11. Catalogue and RE-Catalogue the positive enjoyments of sobriety, such as:
a) The simple ability to sleep and eat properly; and wake up glad you're alive; glad you were sober yesterday; and glad you have the privilige of staying sober today
b) the ability to face whatever life may dish out, with peace of mind, self-respect, and full possession of all your faculties.

12. Cultivate a helpful association of ideas:
a) Associate a drink as being the single cause of all the misery, shame and fear you have ever known.
b) Associate a drink as bein the only thing that can destroy you newfound happiness, and take from you your self-respect and peace of mind.

13. Cultivate Grattitude:
a) Grattitude that so much can be yours for so small a price;
b) Grattitude that you can trade just one drink for all the happiness sobriety gives you.
c) Grattitude that MWO (AA) exists, and you found out about it in time.
d) Grattitude that you are an alcoholic, you are not a bad or wicked person, but you have been in the grip of a complusion.
e) Grattitude that since others have done it, you can in time bring it to pass that you will not want or miss the drink that you're doing without.

14. Seek out ways to help other alcoholics - and remember the first way to help others is to stay sober yourself.

15. And don't forget, when the heart is heavy and resistance is low, and the mind is troubled and confused, there is much comfort in a true and understanding friend standing by. You have that friend in MWO (AA).

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Thanks lifechange! Great info, I printed it out so I will have it to read when needed. Can think of many times it will come in useful. Number 1 is on vacay which is my biggest trigger and coming up soon. It has been added to my plan, thanks for the post.
Day 19 and doing well.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Jane what a great post. Its funny how we initially start here and do af time and go back to the bottle until after awhile it just becomes way too much. Ive been here since 2011 and finally something has clicked. We need to learn to love ourselves i think and that is hard when we hate ourselves. You sound so strong and being on here initially was hard especially admitting to everyone we actually had a problem but all of these lovely MWOers have/had a problem and totally understand. My friends and some family members would not understand as they are "normal" drinkers and think we can have one or two but we cant as we cant stop at that. I know i can never have another drink again and thats okay.

My son did not go to work yesterday and when i got home he said he was sick and drinking a beer. The first words that were going to come out of my mouth were "oh you say you are sick and didnt go to work and here you are drinking beer". I completely stopped in my tracks and thought "hello hypocrite what did you used to do". He has been sick but i dont think sick enough to not go so i told him that instead. Its amazing how my memory is realising what tricks and deceit i used to get out of work and drink as well. I have to preach what i practice now.

LB that is such good news for you as hard as it is but now your life may settle down a bit. You deserve it. 9 months of summer, oh i may just stop complaining about this heat but i have to say its going to be 44 today and i am really worried about my 10 year old dog, i just gave her a bath at 5.30am to cool her down. She is epileptic also and my baby so the boys have strict instructions to keep her cool.

Hi Yellow and welcome, great place to be, keep posting and reading when you get that craving, the first few days are not easy but drinking everyday is harder. Always someone around. Yellow every day not drinking is a huge accomplishment never forget that. The first weekend is the hardest form of hell but once that is done and dusted you will feel great. The weekends for me were just another excuse to drink, why celebrate on a friday when i drank everyday. No excuses anymore!

LC thank you thank you for all of your support and yes you were a big motivator for me to not drink while you were enjoying your holiday and i used to be so annoyed that i did not stick with you and Dot and have the big days that you have now but you know what now i am just pretty damn proud that i am getting there. My time was not for then to give up but for now and just walking this path with you af is wonderful. Throwing some heat at you.

K9 so funny, i prefer dogs to humans too and i am sure if they could talk they could tell us more about our drunken ways than our kids even.

Well time to get ready for work, 44 degrees, beeatch with a captial B for me. I hate seeing all those happy people at work, you just look at them and know they have air conditioning and want to beat the crap out of them as they had a peaceful sleep. mmmmm think positive!

One Day at a time newbies that is all you can do. Today i will not drink! I am not missing the hangovers that i used to have when i drank in heat like this but like the trooper i was i kept doing it. Wonder i did not die of dehydration.

Have a great one!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1613454 wrote: Welcome back Mein! How many dats had you gotten before? I can't recall although I know it was quite a string....and you can do it again.... Can you tell us what happened that you chose to drink again? Will help those of us on our journey ... Thx .... Hope you're feeling better and I found my anxiety and depression were caused by drinking

The longest that I ever got without a drink was around 15 days. Then I would slip up... quit for 10 days... slip up... This went on pretty much all year last year. I believe that it was because I was holding onto the thought of moderation. I didn't want to completely give up AL. But obviously moderation never worked, or, it would work for a day or so then I would binge and blackout. Over the past year, I've read many posts that say the same thing: moderation is NOT POSSIBLE for some of us, and the sooner we accept this, the sooner we can move on.

I'm happy to be back... I have not given up on myself yet. And I am like you... I am hoping that by quitting drinking, my anxiety and depression problems will lessen.

Jane... you made a comment earlier regarding dogs. I have a story to share regarding my dog and my drinking. A few months ago when my husband was out of town for work, I decided to treat myself to a bottle of whiskey. I told myself that I would have one small glass of neat whiskey, but of course I downed almost the entire bottle. I suddenly realized that I could not find my dog and I freaked out, called my husband (this was late at night) and accused him of taking my dog away from me. Of course this was not true, my husband was hours away from home, so I don't know where this story came from. Turns out, my dog was a bit scared of me while I was drinking and had gone to sleep in our spare bedroom. In my drunkenness, I didn't even see him on the bed when I checked that room. Needless to say, my husband was NOT HAPPY with my behavior, plus it scared him that I was so out of my mind. It also scared me, the fact that truly thought that I had lost my dog, in the middle of the night. Just one of my horrible stories of why I need to get sober.

I'm very happy to be here with you all. Thank you for the support today. I'm now drinking my sleepy time tea and trying to wind down for the day. I look forward to being here again tomorrow. :l