Newbies Nest

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

DD, really sorry about that, but so glad that you've checked in. :l:l:l Butt velcro and all that, ok?

[available]

Newbies Nest

DD all we can do is one day at a time. Chin up and glad you are still motivated to be sober. Its farking hard we all know that.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

I am motivated and got good support from two friends who between them have 25 years solid sobriety!!

[available]

Newbies Nest

The best support there is really so that is excellent.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hi DD--:l it is really, really difficult sometimes. I'm in surrendering mode right now. For a long time I've been with, "keep up the fight at all costs!"-- and I think that is good-- but surrendering to the fact that alcohol just can't be a part of our lives-- and then building on the list of gratitude. What were you doing to come down and relax during your time of sobriety to deal with the stress of being overworked and exhausted?

Available almost 50 days!! I'm so happy you can share with your kids and that they are being supportive. They must be so proud of you! I remember it taking a long time for me to believe my mom-- but she proved it to me and it's wonderful to see her in her new life. Now she is my role model for dealing with pressure and pain head on. When we're drinking we think it's a way to "deal" with our pain-- but it's not, is it? It's just a way to avoid life.:h

DO, you are almost at the big 100! When is it exactly? I would guess on Wednesday? I am horrible at counting days-- Why can't all of the months just have 30 days?

Happy Birthday to Cherokeer! Such a great, supportive group of super Newbies! I am so encouraged by the way everyone is racking up the AF days-- I have never witnessed such a busy, thriving roll call.

[moretoit]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning nesters, I am going into Day 16, and I am noticing my weight is dropping, YEA. Yesterday I really struggled, but I won.
Welcome to all you new nesters, unfortunately I have not had time to log on and follow everyone, but I wish all a wonderful day and lets keep it AL free, we can work together.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Happy birthday Cherokeer :bday7:

DD, sorry you decided to drink but glad to see you back. Just keep trying!

DTD, why are you feeling pressured by the 100+ folks? We all know you are doing just fine :H

The mind chatter & drinking thoughts really do decrease as you build AF time! That is the absolute truth & something I mention frequently around here in hopes it will motivate everyone to stay on plan

Congrats to everyone reaching milestones today & wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Early morning from me, dear friends. I am so happy to be back in the nest and inspired by all of you. Those struggling, as well as those sailing along. We all understand the power of this addiction and even on our good days, we can't lose vigilance.

Good job on hopping back in, D.D. I too, find that forcing myself to accomplish tasks that I am tired of (or bored with), such as things at work or even at home, are a huge trigger for me. My plan of action is to "take five" for myself...and it REALLY helps, believe it or not. I have always been one of those type A personalities and I push myself to achieve it all, the problem with that was, the only way I rewarded myself for my hard work was with the drink....and lots of times (well mostly) whilst I was trying to accomplish all that hard work Now what sense did that make? Just made it all a hell of a lot more difficult for me and for everyone else...hope I'm not rambling!

Happy Birthday, Cher and Huge congrats to all those racking up days. As Byrdie always says..each day we put between ourselves and alcohol is a good one! So true!

Gulp! To those helping out on the wedding saga :l, I see I have much more drama to look forward to. Another dtr of mine actually got married last June, but her wedding was SO LAID back. We had it in my sister's back yard and only a few family members attended. Her sweet husband is in the Air Force (currently serving in Qatar) and since his family lives quite a distance from where we live, none of them even attended the wedding. It was still very nice and very sweet and at the end of the day, they were still married.

This wedding will be quite different! I too will be glad to have it over with and no matter what, at the end of the day, they will still be married. We'll all just be in a ton of debt over it! Oh well, I will just try to support as best I can and stay out of the way :sofa:

Hey, one great thing, I decided to do yesterday, was to project my number of AF days forward to the date of the wedding. As fate would have it- the day of the wedding WILL be day 99 for me! Can you believe it? There's no way I will drink on day 99, come hell or high water...so that's good news.

Sorry for such a long post. And Fin, where are you? Don't make me come up there and pour that beer down the drain

[NomoreJim]

Newbies Nest

MAE All
I have been too busy to post last couple of days. Congrats MyLuck on 90 days! I looked back at some posts and can completely identify with the drinking at someone concept. It got me thinking that I have been doing that as well. Had some serious marriage issues (some drinking related). Whenever we had a fight I would usually binge. The counselor asked us both what we wanted out of our life together I answered she (my wife) couldn't. The counselor looked at me and said If she doesn't know what she wants how can you? It was an eye opening experience and has helped me cope with her better. Yesterday was not a good day for us and I was very tempted when I read the posts about drinking at someone a light came on. Happy to say I added another day af. I can't remember who posted that about drinking at things but I am forever in your debt. This place is wonderful I don't think that I would have made it through with out all of your help.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Myluck, I've been watching for your name on the roll call all day!



:grouptrophy:
:jumpwow:MYLUCK :jumpwow:
inkele:90 DAYS AFinkele:

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1614750 wrote: I have had quite a time the past 2 days keeping myself on track. I began having the, "maybe I wasn't really that bad" thoughts, reading the MOD'S thread, thinking about whether or not it might be possible for me to moderate.??! For fucks sake. I even mildly suggested to my boyfriend that it might be nice to have a glass of wine to check his reaction. Which was, in a very sweet way, after having seen me struggle the past 2+ years, "I don't really think it's possible for you to just drink a little". This is huge for him, too. He always used to say, "just stop after one glass. why is that so difficult?". So I didn't want to bring everyone down--'cause after what seems like a long time AF, I don't really want to admit struggling to keep it quit. I think I'm procrastinating with some things that need to be dealt with. And being so exhausted with jet lag didn't allow me to get much done last week. And I honestly began to glamorize the drinking. "everyone gets to drink except me, blah blah." The gratitude escaped me briefly.
So, by the skin of my teeth I'm still here. Thank the Universe. And you all.

Way to go, LC. I think it is VERY important for people in your position to post of your struggles. As J-Vo posted somewhere else, it is easy to plan for the big events that we know are going to be triggers, but we have to also remember to always have a plan in our back pockets for those out-of-the-blue thoughts and ideas that might creep in. While you were gone there was some discussion here in the nest that we're not all brand-newbies. There are people at many different stages, and helping each other through them all is the strength in a site like this. I am actually surprised but then greatly helped by seeing someone as strong as you struggle and wobble a bit but then make it through. It normalizes the feelings we all must get through and then models the way to get through it. I'm so glad your BF said no - I agree with Ava, he's a keeper.

Happy Birthday, Cherokeer.

MyLuck - You have made 90 days! I know you have had a lot going on in your life and you have shown steadfast determination to stay sober in spite of it all. Do you have a speech for us?

Ok, nest, off into the wild blue yonder. A ton going on this weekend, and it will all be done soberly (well, not with alcohol - perhaps not "soberly!")

Stick on that butt velcro and post here BEFORE you drink. Then you won't need to.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

My Luck 90 whoop whoop!!!!!! Way to go

Thinking today: when I was drinking I blamed everyone and everything for my unhappiness then I drank to drown that feeling. I was jealous if those who were better than me or had more etc.
The truth is I didn't like myself because I was drinking but alcohol made me blame others or circumstances because HE didn't want the blame.
34 days in I'm starting to really live and respect myself....starting... and it's awesome .... Join me

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday Cherokeer!
Another year older, another year wiser and another day AF!!
Glad your still here with us all.

Congrats to Fat Fella. Getting yourself to 21 days is an amazing achievement. A massive well done to you!

Another massive well done to MYLUCK. 90 days AF and counting. Keep it up! Your an inspiration to everyone here. Both old and new.

Thanks for the welcome Jane27. Its good to be here! I hope your able to sleep better tonight. TJ is having some problems herself with interrupted sleep. So can sympathize where your coming from.

HP and TJ out for a little road trip soon to avoid that Saturday night feeling.. Any advice on how to beat the cravings and anxiety on Day 13? We will not fail but any tips would greatly appreciated.

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Darkest Diamond;1614766 wrote:
Anyway today is day one again and I feel that I can be sober a day at a time forever.

Hey DD, I've been watching for you and glad to see you here again. You will always be one of the Quad Squad! I will keep my eye out for your posts and wish you strength on dealing with your frustrations from work. I have been working a physical job for YEARS and originally drank to socialize, then cope & finally deal with physical pain (always a reason to drink, right?:yeahright. For me if I exercise the aches and pains are manageable. When I was younger I could exercise & drink, now I must choose one or the other. Sitting through the pain is what I am doing now and today I am beginning my road back to exercising again & enjoying my life rather than just trying to get through the day.
Take care of yourself, as you say, "a day at a time" & make the right choice. Looking forward to hearing of your progress.~~Hyper

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1614782 wrote: Hi DD--:l it is really, really difficult sometimes. I'm in surrendering mode right now. For a long time I've been with, "keep up the fight at all costs!"-- and I think that is good-- but surrendering to the fact that alcohol just can't be a part of our lives-- and then building on the list of gratitude.

Hi, Life

I was reading a blog the other day by a woman who relapsed after several years. She has a big online presence in the recovery world (One Crafty Mother). She wrote about her relapse and said something much like you did and it really resonated with me:

"Recovery, however, is not about fighting. It's about daily surrender. It's about having the courage to be vulnerable, to sit with hard feelings, to tackle hardships as they arise because anything that festers in an recovering alcoholic's brain can lead to a drink."

It would be too hard to be in a battle every day for the rest of our lives but it isn't too hard to surrender to the fact that for us, drinking is not an option and simply go about living the best lives we can.

I think Pavati's right - people at all stages need to admit what is going on. It is good for anyone following to know that while challenges will always be there, relapse is not inevitable. Each day we are in control and can choose not to drink.

:h NS