Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Bastet;1615339 wrote: Wow Byrdlady you are truly an inspiration to us all! Not to long from now and I might have been facing the same situation. What a journey you have been on and the fact that you do not regret any of the last three years is amazing. I am so thankful that you have stayed on the newbie thread to help us all out. It was while I was lurking that you, and many others, gave me the courage to say no to alcohol. It was all a leap of faith but now I am glad I did it thanks so much! 7 days today!

:moon:

Great job, Bastet! XO, B

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Bastet;1615339 wrote: It was all a leap of faith but now I am glad I did it thanks so much! 7 days today!

CONGRATULATIONS on your successful week!

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. People with an addiction will always be able to talk themselves out of doing this if they think about it too much. Some get the ultimatum like Byrdie described. Others, like me, finally just jump. You don't know exactly where you'll land but just believe that it is better than where you are. I promise you it is.

Anyone lurking or struggling - stop thinking about and planning the perfect day to quit. Stop hesitating and being afraid. Get rid of the booze around you, take a deep breath, and just let it rip.

There are people here waiting to catch you and then we'll walk back with you to the place you deserve to be.

:l NS

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. Boy, was I completely unprepared for social situations and have to say I was, in my na?ve optimism, a dumbass failure. Friday night ended up being a group of people. Birthday dinner and drinks provided by well meaning friends. Glass of wine shoved in my hand to toast my birthday, restaurant staff singing to me.....I panicked, I caved, I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't ready for a public announcement of "Sorry I can't manage alcohol like a normal person so......" Stubborn, prideful, coward that I am, is now starting over.

I get knocked down, I get up again. That's the song I keep playing in my head. Trying not to do the self-loathing thing. That crazy train only leads to one place. I think I am going to stay away from social situations until I have more experience being AF.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Byrdie!!!!! What an inspiration you are

Avail and Bastet congrats on your achievements and keep going love you all!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Byrdie - three years is amazing! Thanks so much for staying around here and helping all of us out. You are such an important part of my sobriety.

Lav - sorry about your nephew's wife - so young is so sad!

Bastet - way to go on a week! As K9 says, now you have been through every day of the week sober.

I was having some struggles with deprivation in a few situations last night. I dutifully drank my water and had a lot of fun, but it was harder for me than it has been for a while to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Thankfully I am too stubborn to have to come back here on day 49 and say I didn't make it to 50.

I know that I can't drink. I can get mad, sad, feel deprived, awkward - whatever, but I know that I can't drink and have the life I want with my kids, husband, job and health. So, yes, Pavati, sometimes you will be in hard situations that make you want to drink and feel sorry for yourself - that's life. Today I am grateful that I spent a great evening seeing old friends I haven't in a while, and for waking up without regret and without a hangover. Thank goodness I am not chained to alcohol for my "fun" anymore, and thank goodness I can come here to say I didn't drink. I don't drink. Phew.

Off to enjoy some football with family and friends. These friends always have fun parties and good food, so I will happily eat away the afternoon, drinking my iced tea and driving home with no fear or regret.

Stay strong, Nest.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Cherokeer, I'm sorry for your setback. Look at it this way, if you work off ratios you're still better off, aye? Like if you used to drink a ratio of 5 drinks per day, and you were sober for 5 days and then fell, it's still a lower ratio, right?

I feel like every day I spend sober is my own that no one can take from me no matter what happens afterwards. I was sober for almost all of 2012, and gradually started drinking again in 2013. Well, those are still days I have, even though I started again. Pictures I can look at without cringing, stories I still read to my kids, good things I did that are still good. And I found that I can do it. I can do it again for 2014.

I had to take a bus ride into town yesterday, and it's an hour ride so I sat and imagined myself in different social situations. Like at a party, someone says "Can I get you a drink? A glass of wine maybe?" Me: "Oh, no thank you. What I'd really love is a glass of mineral water with a twist of lemon thanks." at a restaurant "Would you like to start with drinks? Beer? Wine?" Me: "You know, what I would really love is a glass of unsweetened iced tea with lemon. Thank you so much." I imagined doing it with joy and finesse. It was kind of fun.

Does anyone have favorite non alcoholic drinks that you like to order or make on special occasions to make it festive?

Byrdlady, congratulations on you anniversary!

Hope everyone is clearheaded and happy today. Don't listen to that snake! He only wants to bite you with his venom again!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pavati,
Here is YOUR Cool Chick Award!!!

:chick:

50 days....wow, I remember the first day you came in, you have done an amazing job here! It's a learning experience! Thank you for starting a celebration thread for me! Wow, that means so much, who'da thunk it. You never know where life will lead, did you ever think you'd be giving advice on how to stay AF???!!!! So proud of everyone here!! xo, B

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hah! Now YOU'RE starting the party early. Only day 49 here - but it IS the day of my last drink. In fact, if you take one day as 24 hours alcohol free, I guess 50 will start at about noon (yes, that last day was that bad).

And no, I didn't ever think I could give advice. I didn't think I could have fun. I didn't think I could or would do this. But I'll celebrate more tomorrow, actual Day 50.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Pav, Byrdie :H:H:H:H:H:H

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Hiya Byrdie and Pavati,
A huge congratulations to both of you!!:goodjob: I think you are both being solid representatives of the joys of sobriety yet honestly telling others that it is not always easy to achieve.

I have had a rubbish weekend as once again I have drunk, but I can have compassion for myself, I am not excusing what I have done but at the moment my job is almost impossible to do . I think now I just have to not do what I am supposed to with my job. . My sobriety is more important.

I am happy to work at work Monday to Friday from 7am to 7pm .... this I can do even can do a few extra hours at the weekend etc but there has to be a limit.

To keep up with my job I feel I need to work late into the night every night and a lot at weekends, then I at some point I snap I drink. Yes it might be "drinking at a situation"

About ten years ago i was sober for three years and three months, for most of that time I was doing a job that took hours and hours but was managable, then I went into this job and I sank, I drank.

If I was an angel looking down on me (and many others) I would be thinking it is impossible to work 12 hour days each day at work (Mon to Fri) and go home and work late into the night and then work most of the weekend at home. All the at home stuff is unpaid.

I am not a martyr I do it to keep up with all my tasks/goals/etc and as a professional I try to do it well.

This job is too much for me! I am not near retirement age but I am struggling but so are the young boys and girls who are under 25 who are working under the same conditions. Two of them were in tears on Friday night and have phoned me during the weekend.

This is crazy I want my life back , ten years ago I had over three years sobriety, because i worked hard but also gave complete surrender to sobriety but also because my job was manageable. This current job is not. Something has to give. Really fed up. I need to pay bills etc i have to work but this is killing me.

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

Major Wobble Happening?

Hi All!

TJ has had a stressful evening so far.

She's had a phone call from one of the people in her life who causes her such a high amount of anxiety that she could hit the bottle in an instant.

Only yesterday we were discussing that an unexpected incident could trigger this and I wouldn't be able to save her. This phone call is that!

I've pleaded with her if she's going to drink call me first and I'll be there ASAP.

Thankfully she called earlier and we have taken the edge off the anxiety. But I don't think it will last long. Tomorrow doesn't look good for her either as she's meeting the caller. I have offered my place for the night as she feels safer around me. But at the moment shes alone. I hope she will get through as am not sure there's anything else I can do unless she calls.

Any advice to get through this?

[Fat fella]

Newbies Nest

DD, that schedule would kill some people! I don't know what line of work you are in but it sounds like they are taking you for granted and expecting too much. I have long days (12 a 13 hours) but try and draw a line under it once home. Doesn't always work but I try and get to the gym or go for a run a few nights a week. You need some down time especially to cope with this quitting business. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but don't burn yourself out, it's not worth it but quitting is!

Not meant as a lecture, just a concerned opinion. Stay strong and stick with us.

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie and Pavati!!! Congrats!!! You are strong ladies and your determination is awesome!

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Fat fella;1615485 wrote: DD, that schedule would kill some people! I don't know what line of work you are in but it sounds like they are taking you for granted and expecting too much. I have long days (12 a 13 hours) but try and draw a line under it once home. Doesn't always work but I try and get to the gym or go for a run a few nights a week. You need some down time especially to cope with this quitting business. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but don't burn yourself out, it's not worth it but quitting is!

Not meant as a lecture, just a concerned opinion. Stay strong and stick with us.

I so agree, I am going to search hard for another job.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Gracie, feeling really Blah today. Does anyone know how long it takes for the book, CD's, and supplements to ship and arrive?