Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Thank you all for the kudos!! As fellow journeyers (if that's a word) you KNOW it hasn't been all fun and games! If I'm having a bad day, I give it 24 hours and things are usually much better! The one thing I will not do it go backwards on this trail...been there, done that, wearing the tee shirt. A bad day sober is better than any day drunk was!

As you may be seeing on some of the other threads, I fight hard to help others get from point A to point B with the least amount of ditches and potholes. I am met with a lot of resistance from some, but having dug out of those potholes myself, I can tell you that getting sober and STAYING sober is the easiest, most humane way to do it. I finally learned which voices to listen to, and any voice that involved me and AL gets pushed aside. I don't have the time or energy to start over. Stay the course no matter what day you are on, it's 1000 times easier to maintain than to start again! Hugs to all and strength today!!
XXOO, Byrdie

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, all:

I honestly can't believe that I am happily at day 50. Once it finally clicked in my brain that I had to stop drinking alcohol in order to have the life I want to have - a relationship with my kids and husband, a good job, health - I knew I could probably make it sober for a while, but I honestly thought it would be a white knuckle journey of pain until I just accepted that life was less fun because I have a problem with alcohol.

Surprise, surprise (shouldn't have been a surprise as I had read here enough), life is GOOD without alcohol. I have fun, laugh, enjoy food, contemplate life, cry, get angry - all just the same as when I was drinking AND I wake up after a good night's sleep (no GSR at 3am) with NO hangover and no disappointment in myself. Of course it is not all fairies and glitter - it is hard work sometimes, frustrating and sad - but like Byrdie says, I haven't had those bad days last longer than 24 hours.

The difference for me was surrendering to the fact that I can't drink (read NS's link from yesterday). I used to be able to go extended periods of time without before, but I was essentially white knuckling and counting the days until I could drink again - that made living without alcohol seem like it was going to be terrible. By contrast, accepting that I can't drink made me focus on life instead of when I "get" to drink next, allowing me to heal and move on.

Lovely to share this day with so many accomplishments - Byrdie, I can't say enough about your help here. Poppy - we did it! WineB, 90 is amazing, I know Londoner is at 20. Shoot - I can't remember the roll call now but I know there are more.

Nesters - stay strong. It is so worth it.

MLK day here in the states today. A day of contemplating peace and humanity. Happy Monday, all!

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nest

HP and TJ just quickly checking in on TJ's Day 15!!

Still managing to stay strong upto 18:00.

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

HP and TJ are still here( sorry pressed the submit button early)

TJ is off this evening to see her friend who has for 6 years depressed her enough that she needs to drink around him. In her head she knows he hasn't changed but IF he can see the real her (The 15 Days AF TJ) surely he will get on board and help her reach her own goal to be AF! She may wobble but I've got her back today, tomorrow and the day after! Not easy to do though.

Little Beagle, Thanks again for advising. Having a friend gives you the extra shot of will power to get through the toughest of times! She needs to be strong and do what she wants. No what everyone else wants her to do! Its her Life! I'll be meeting with her soon to talk over the events and I'm sure she'll be in the forums soon too. Looking at all the posts, and keeping her motivation going during these difficult days.

So many people need big hugs and pats on the back and kind words to get through every day. And I send these thing to all of our community. Keep it up! :l

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,
I'm late to the party, but want give my best to Byrdie for an amazing 3 years. I send lots of love an thanks for everything you've given us Newbies!!:l
And PAVATI and POPPY! Well super damn done on 50 days. So very cool. Pav, I've been following you from day one and I'm so proud of you!:h
WineBGone, 90 DAYS!! That's 3 months! Who would've thunk it?:goodjob:

So many people here making their way and when we all come together it's huge.
Warm Greetings to everyone. I'm off early to bed so that I can be early to rise.

xo

[Rivergal]

Newbies Nest

"I don't have the time or energy to start over." As so gracefully stated by our Byrdlady. You are so correct & so loved. Congrats on 3 years of creating a better past to remember fondly. Annie

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

So, I'm reaching the 3 week Mark again....... something I haven't done for a few months now.

I'm starting to wake up to the real world again. I have other people interests at heart and I want to progress in life. There is some colour appearing. I'm enjoying music more again etc. Little Things in life. Alcohol hibernates my mind.

I still have these cravings to go to the late night clubs and get trolleyed. My brain thinks it misses it.... stupid brain. I can't go out anyway because I blew my cash before Christmas, short sighted that I am.

But my rational brain is saying that the party life is really a lie. Period care more about the drink and drugs than they do about you.

The universe is punishing me for now. As business picks up, it will test me - it wants to see if I am resolute when I have cash in my pocket. I think I need to find myself a sensible gf, one who makes me forget my past partying - at the end of the day the only reason I did it was because it was my break from life.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see everyone seems to be in good shape!

Londoner, don't let the extra cash lead you down the wrong path. How about stashing it in some long term savings account with the goal of buying yourself something nice in the future

Pav & Poppy, big congrats to you both on day 50!!!! Great work
And WineBGone, rockin 90 AF days - fantastic!!!
Byrdie must be tuckered out celebrating her 3 years AF!!!!

What a great nest
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest.

Lav

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

It's great to see people reaching milestones. Pav and Poppy, Winebgone great achievements. Have a good night all.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Thanks for the LOVE - it is truly appreciated. I can't thank you all enough for helping me to get where I am.

I wanted to reply to you, DD. First, I agree with the others - if your job is causing you that much stress, you should leave that job. But second (and I know as a relative newbie I have a lot of cheek to say this) that is still not a good excuse to drink. Remember what you were posting when you got sober for the last time (I recognize the desperation from my own posts)? As you know, drinking will exacerbate the problem not help solve it. I have so much less anxiety now that I don't poison myself most nights and ruin my sleep. NoSugar recommended that I write down exactly how I felt that first day, and I did. If I ever get the inkling of a desire to drink I go back and remember how awful that was. Maybe next time you could come here and rant about your job rather than taking a drink – might help you avoid alcohol.

Lav talks about her mission to keep things positive and I can’t believe how much that has helped me so far! Today I spent a lot of time with my younger son, helping him with two projects that are due tomorrow (yes, the day after a vacation day!). I was extremely irritated that he had not done more at school and that the teachers assigned projects this weekend. My son went to the bathroom toward the beginning of the day and he came out and said, “mom, I was just thinking that I never said thank you. Thanks for helping me,” and he gave me a big hug. That made me realize that I could shift my thinking and enjoy my day a lot more, which I did. I spent quality time (well, at least some of it was quality) with my kid, and he appreciated it.

Good night, Nesters. Extra butt Velcro for everyone. Now that the sparkly newness of the fresh start is over, we may be tempted. Let’s stay focused!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

What do you say to some Greek/Turkish coffee this morning?


Wine, a belated congrats on your 90 AF days - inkele: pinkele:

I so agree about positive attitude and a mindset of gratitude, Pav. Now that my body and mind are Al free, it's so easy to notice and appreciate the little things that make life special. Happy Muesday, since you are still up.

Londoner, I know what you mean about taking a break from life - but I'm trying to create a life that I don't want to take a break from, by accepting the big and small daily things that aggravate and please. "Taking a break from reality" is what led to my drinking.

Nesters, have a lovely AF Tuesday!

[HumbleRider]

Newbies Nest

Pav, Poppy, Winebegone congratulations!

Byrdie, 3 years, congratulations and thank you for keeping me here and sober. You are an inspiration to all of us.

80 days for me tomorrow, and I am not a drinker.

[poppy62]

Newbies Nest

Good morning guys. Such amazing achievements flying around right now, we are a very determined bunch. Reached my 50 days yesterday along with my quit buddy Pav !!! and Byrdie ? years such an inspiration to everybody !!!! But did not have much time to come on and post. But thought I would list a few things that have changed in my life in the last 50 days which have flown by !!!

In the last 50 days I have not:

Come too in a cold sweat after a binge drinking session with my heart racing, blind fear in my head , thinking what have I said or done.

Spent up to a week in the pits of dispare, dispising and hating myself thinking why did I do it again.

Had to apologise to anybody for what I have said or done when I have been drunk.

Had a mad al fueled arguemnt with my husband ( usually started by me as I want to carry on drinking and he wants me to stop ).

Had a hangover that has written several days off for me and my family.

Taken huge quanities of pain killers, sleeping tablets to get me through the hangovers and to knock myself out to get away from the shame and anxiety attacks getting drunk triggers in me.

Lie to get another drink or about the amount I have drunk or about why I am feeling crap.

Spent large amounts of money on al.

Embarassed myself, my family or friends, while under the influence of al.

In the last 50 days what I have :

Woken up everyday with a clear head and a clear consience.

Made myself and my family and friends proud.

Been a positive role model to my son who's had a few issues.

Been invited into friends homes who would not have previously invited me as they know what al can turn me into.

Got several compliments at how good I am looking !!! bye bye puffy al miserable face !!!

Got my self respect back.

Eaten lots of chocolate !!! well I can afford the calories and cost now !!!!.

Taken control of my life and drinking instead if it controlling me.

Proved to myself , family and friends that I can be af and be happy.

While neither of these list are exhaustive it is a flavour of how being af in the last 50 days has made a huge inpact on my life and will continue as I am now very proud to say I DON'T DRINK and plan never to again !!!! Here is counting to the next 50 days. Unfortunatley being af has not improved my spelling but feel getting my feeling and point over is the main issue not how its spelt !!!.

Keep doing all the good work guys and remember a future af is a bright future !!! and even if you are one day 1 they days and weeks soon mount up and with it so will your life !!!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon from Germany! Just checking in, keeping up my accountability.

So far I've only read one post (by Poppy) but I already have to say THANK YOU for your post and congratulations on your accomplishments!!!

I had a German lesson this morning and as I was driving home, I felt the pull of the AL. My plan was to go to the grocery store directly after class (to buy healthy food) but I decided that it was safer to drive home and jump directly into the Nest rather than take the risk of buying AL at the grocery store! Just by reading the one post, I'm already feeling stronger and ready to tackle the grocery store. This goes to show how valuable everyone is! I'm so grateful to be here.

Much love and strength to you all today. :l

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Poppy, what a powerful post and a great reminder of why we quit. Thanks, day 4 for me. A lame number compared to you all but it's a beginning. I am in awe of all of you long time abstainers. Your my inspiration and belief that it can be done.

Me in, good job! I find it hard to go to most stores. There is wine everywhere. I only eat a Palo diet so I try to stay in the meat and produce department. Stay strong sister.