Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sitting here awaiting the start of a storm that's supposed to dump a foot of snow on my portion of the nest - ugh!!!! Sounds like some good indoor projects are in order today

MS, you did the right thing checking in here & using the collective strength of the nest to keep you safe! Remember that you are in charge of your thoughts, good & bad. I push the bad ones out of my head as soon as they enter, don't allow them to linger

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday!
Lav

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Poppy those lists really sell not drinking. I am so glad you have made this huge change in your life.
Have a good day all.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Yesterday was a good day!! Plus I was off work!! I sat down to watch Dr Phil and my cable tv went out . I don't know how I survived but I pulled it together and persevered! Thank you so much for the congratulations, they mean the world to me...this one accomplishment is now my most prized possession!

As I was getting ready this morning, I was listening to the news...they were talking about the depression that folks are experiencing due to FaceBook! 'WHAAAAT?', I asked. They said that we are constantly seeing the super snapshots of our friends and their happy Caribbean vacations and smiling families and work trophies and it makes us think that the world is more accomplished than we are....that our lives as just peeps isn't good enough. I am reminded of college when I felt like I had to study every single night and the neighbors were always able to go out and party. The truth was, one neighbor would go out, then another...then another, it wasn't EVERYBODY like my mind had imagined. I was in a perpetual pity party. Drinking does that to us, too. We imagine the whole world is able to go out and ENJOY ALCOHOL and live it up! But reality is, most people don't drink every night and when you go to a restaurant, maybe half are drinking but the other half aren't! It's all in perception. We are holding ourselves up to a standard that is never going to be attainable for us, so let's get a different measuring stick! Let's compare ourselves to the NON drinkers out there! When I'm out and about I don't long for AL, I take in the moments. The fabric of our lives is made of people and places....not what's in our glass. To break free of this monster there are going to be some pains along the way but if you can bust thru those, you will be happy you did. Trust me on that one...it is so much better on THIS side of addiction!! No matter what...no matter who....get thru to the other side. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Quick check in on the way to work. Wonderful post, Poppy!

Cherokeer - no amount of alcohol free days is lame. One day at a time adds up quickly.

Mein - Glad you resisted and checked in here. Whoot!

Happy Tuesday, nest. Stay strong.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1616430 wrote: . The truth was, one neighbor would go out, then another...then another, it wasn't EVERYBODY like my mind had imagined. I was in a perpetual pity party. Drinking does that to us, too. We imagine the whole world is able to go out and ENJOY ALCOHOL and live it up! But reality is, most people don't drink every night and when you go to a restaurant, maybe half are drinking but the other half aren't! It's all in perception. We are holding ourselves up to a standard that is never going to be attainable for us, so let's get a different measuring stick! Let's compare ourselves to the NON drinkers out there! When I'm out and about I don't long for AL, I take in the moments. The fabric of our lives is made of people and places....not what's in our glass. To break free of this monster there are going to be some pains along the way but if you can bust thru those, you will be happy you did. Trust me on that one...it is so much better on THIS side of addiction!! No matter what...no matter who....get thru to the other side. Byrdie
You sound like someone who has been sober for 3 YEARS or something :H! Thanks for staying in the Nest, Byrdie. You've helped so many people.

And you're so right - unless you're at a bar or nightclub, the majority of people AREN'T drinking alcohol.

This post is from SunFlower in another thread but she could be speaking to newbies and returners to the nest. This struggle is unnecessary. It is in your power RIGHT THIS MOMENT to be done.


TheSunFlower;1616245 wrote: I am always relieved when I read that it took others as long as it took me to "get it". I was in the slow learner group. I thought I was the only one. I now see it is not all that uncommon for someone to try to quit for 10 freaking years! Now I realize I had that power all along. Just could.not see it.

Nobody needs to stay on the slow learner path that I did. It truly is up to you. You can journey and soldier on as I did....or you can change in a moment. Someone said that to me....it stuck with me....and it was those simple words that changed my thinking....and changed how I viewed sobriety. I had a choice.

I no longer "wish" I could drink. Stopping drinking and then continuing to torture yourself with wishes.....always led to drinking in my case.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
5 inches of snow....not going anywhere today...cabin fever for sure....
Roll call is just fantastic...everyone should be so proud of themselves....I am proud of ALL of u!!

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

Good evening nesters

HP and TJ checking in on Day 16!

Thanks Byrdie.

It helps everyone here that You try so hard to keep us all out of trouble. Your posts are always inspiring and true and to the point. We can all respect you cause you've been there too!

We're all on a similar journey and no matter which path we all choose we will all get to the same destination.

Poppy. I loved your 50 day post. Inspiring! Life changing maybe and something TJ will appreciate reading later as her journey continues.

Cherokeer. When we joined you said you'd support us? Now its our turn. Every day counts, whether its the first day or the 21st day! Lame doesn't even come into the equation. $ days is still a great achievement and its better than 3! Stay with us all here and we will get you there too!

[moretoit]

Newbies Nest

good morning nesters, today is Day 19, yesterday was a bad day, urges took over, but it was too cold to go out and I sat and thought it was not worth it, once I decided that I was fine.
I still have thoughts that I can do this, you know the drink moderately, I do not want to believe I am my father's daughter, if that is so, then he effected 3 or 4 of his 5 children, only two do not drink every day, or they limit the drink, one has passed on. That thought makes me sad. I want control over my life and presently staying AL free is one I chose to control.
I know many of you on here are against moderation, me I still have a belief I can do it. I need to stop the habit first, I managed three months a few years ago, but I was with someone who had a very negative effect on my life, and I went back, I know that was an excuse, but when they accuse you, all you can think of is why not.
Now I have someone who knows all my past, does not use it against me and is a very positive person. We share different living quarters, so I can hide it if I chose, but we all know we can only hide for so long, I want to be honest and open with him in everything. That is why I have chosen to stop drinking, that and for my deceased brother, I know he is looking down on me and he knows if I slip, that I will not do.
The future is a big ? who knows, but for now I am AL free and chose to stay that way.

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Back after five years.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back, Roxane! I suppose the people are new but the stories pretty much stay the same, I think. We're all in this together :hug:.

What's been going on over the last 5 years?

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

Cherokeer;1616395 wrote: Thanks, day 4 for me. A lame number compared to you all but it's a beginning.
Chero, when I was still lurking here and drinking, I was in awe of people with one AF day behin their name. As Pav said, it's not a lame number, it's four days of dedication and hard work and keeping the eye on the goal.

Dottie Belle;1616488 wrote: Roll call is just fantastic...everyone should be so proud of themselves....I am proud of ALL of u!!

I agree - the Nest and the Roll call are buzzing at the moment!

moretoit;1616516 wrote: good morning nesters, today is Day 19, yesterday was a bad day, urges took over, but it was too cold to go out and I sat and thought it was not worth it, once I decided that I was fine.
I still have thoughts that I can do this, you know the drink moderately, I do not want to believe I am my father's daughter, if that is so, then he effected 3 or 4 of his 5 children, only two do not drink every day, or they limit the drink, one has passed on. That thought makes me sad. I want control over my life and presently staying AL free is one I chose to control.
I know many of you on here are against moderation, me I still have a belief I can do it. I need to stop the habit first, I managed three months a few years ago, but I was with someone who had a very negative effect on my life, and I went back, I know that was an excuse, but when they accuse you, all you can think of is why not.
Now I have someone who knows all my past, does not use it against me and is a very positive person. We share different living quarters, so I can hide it if I chose, but we all know we can only hide for so long, I want to be honest and open with him in everything. That is why I have chosen to stop drinking, that and for my deceased brother, I know he is looking down on me and he knows if I slip, that I will not do.
The future is a big ? who knows, but for now I am AL free and chose to stay that way.

More, at least the colld did somebody good! Glad you waited it out. Give yourself a considerable amount of AF time, get some perspective and then decide on which road to take.

Roxane, settle in and make yourself at home; there's lots of help and solid advice and jokes available in the Nest.

Have a lovely AF Monday, everybody!

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Ok, this is a little frustrating. I'm not getting email alerts. I don't want to keep having to check, and I don't want to miss posts. I have subscribed to instant alerts so I don't know why I'm not getting them.

Thanks for the greeting.....

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Roxane

I've never gotten those alerts. Especially at the beginning, I think it really helps to hang out in the Nest and maybe a couple of other threads A LOT! Reading all the posts (sometimes more than once!) really helped me. Maybe everybody here brainwashed me or something :H!

Take care, NS

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Hi nosugar, no alerts means clicking refresh again and again, which is slightly obsessive. Plus I don't want people to think I'm not responding. Bit of a dilemma.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Morning everybody!

Poppy that list is great. I'm trying to focus on the things I get by quitting. I'm feeling much clearer headed now as it took a few days for my last binge to clear from my mind and conscience. I always think the drinking will only effect that one day, but it doesn't. It goes on for days afterwards as I try to feel forgiven, try to clear my head, try to recover a sense of purpose and energy.

It's not just that I don't want alcohol to rule my life, it's also that I want more for my life, and everytime I crash it's time and energy and resources taken away from the person I want to be and put towards the person I don't want to be.

Yesterday there was all that involuntary chatter going on in my head. You know the "You shoulod just moderate, it will be different this time, you just need to figure it out, wouldn't it be nice if....." The thing is, I don't WANT to moderate. I don't care if it would ever work, I'm tired of all the energy and money that goes into it! At first I felt helpless like I was just going to repeat the cycle and there is nothing I can do. But I kept reminding myself that the chatter isn't me. Then I tried arguing, but the chatter would just get faster and more urgent. Then I just kept saying "I don't drink. I don't drink." That seemed to be the thing that best helped. Like those words if I say them calmly are going down into me. I don't drink.

So, day 7 is in the bag, and it's been a REALLY stressful week with some business stuff and my daughter is running into trouble all over with this wedding. She gets really stressed and starts crying and that stresses me out because I just want her to have a happy wedding. I feel like we are putting so much money and effort into it and she just keeps stressing out. Sigh. I wish she could just calm down. There's so many personal dynamics that go into these things.

Welcome back Roxane! I'm new here. I hope you get the support you need this time around. Cheering for you, and also hoping everyone on the East Coast is staying warm and safe. I know the news always pumps these things up and makes them bigger than they are, but still those storms you guys are having sound crazy!