Newbies Nest

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, day 6. Disappointing day at work. Found out they may try to put me under a supervisor I will be refusing to work for. So I may be unemployed here shortly. I am extremely upset about this. But still determined. No reason to hurt myself. Things will turn out how they will turn out. Having a hang over will just make a bad situation worse. So today I am going to go home, make myself some tea and mother f@#! the situation and then relax.

[Rivergal]

Newbies Nest

Day 30!

Byrdlady;1617376 wrote: Morning, Nesters...
GracieB, great post! That sums it all up!

Stay strong, everyone...back on your heads. XXOO, Byride

Staying strong despite many old reasons to drink....would be proud to sport a party hat today!!

[Fat fella]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. Not had the opportunity to post much lately, but am still here on day 27! Struggling a bit here and there but generally doing ok. Are my fellow quads lurking out there anywhere? Can't believe Sunday will be a whole month sober. I never thought I would get this far, or at least not without some major problems. Great to be here. Well done everyone else.

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Hey Fat fella. I am in and going o.k.. Tired and feeling good in spurts and sputters. Glad to see 30 is in sight. Days roll on AF when you focus your energy on the proper things. Look forward to Sunday. Nice to see you here and hope to read more from you.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Sober every day all day then each night around 7.30pm drink at home while working, until about 10 or 11pm, then play music on headphones until about midnight then the cycle starts again get to work around 7.30am fine all day then drink when home around 7.30pm.

It has got so bad, even in just two weeks that I think I might need valium, luckily I have them as didn't need them last time when I rather angrily demanded them from A and E doc.

Please fellow quads still regard me as a quad!! I do follow your progress and still feel that the 28th Dec had tremendous significance.... I know how damaging my recent drinking has been but also don't want to wipe out those two weeks of progress i made before I started to drink again

hugs and xxx

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Darkest...So basically, you have about 3 hours in your day where you need a diversion from your diversion!! If you are ready to get this monkey off your back once and for all, let's get started! Tomorrow is NoSugar's One Year anniversary, you and NS can share the same quit date! Pour out all the rest of that crap, and let's get you on your way! If you are like me, AL has brought you NOTHING but despair! We believe in you! Byrdie

[Marylou123]

Newbies Nest

Normally this time of night I'd be nearly finished with that bottle of wine. Thanks to all of you on MOW, I'm bound and determined to finish out day 2!

[Bastet]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Mary Lou and good job on day 2! That is awesome!
I had a massage today because of a sore neck and I was noticing on the intake form there was a question about recent additional stress and what was the cause. I was just imagining what they might have thought if I wrote I had not had any alcohol in 11 days. The thought might have been oh she has a drinking problem with a sideways look. Now if I had written I quit smoking 11 days ago or I am on a strict diet it would be completely different. Even if I had said I was quitting heroin or crack I think it would have been viewed more positively. Yet there are thousands, millions of us out here who have issues with knowing when to say enough to alcohol. When my daughters outed me about drinking I think I was mostly ashamed because of the negative connotations associated with drinking too much. I was horribly embarrassed and am continuing to keep most of this stuff to myself because it feels so private. Yet when I quit smoking I told the world. Anyway just rambling here. I just wish I felt better about myself and not quite so ashamed about past behavior and worried about the future.
I hope all of you in the Midwest and east coast are staying warm and dry. I am with the others please send some moisture to California we are parched and it's getting scary!
Happy AF night to everyone.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

You can have all of my snow Bastet. My brother lives there too & has been telling me about the drought conditions. About the past - leave it there! It's history you can't change any of it so just keep moving forward

DD, I'm with Byrdie! Dump the last of the AL & break the cycle, once & for all. We are all with you!!

Hello Marylou & congrats on getting thru day 2 - nice

Still freezing cold, way below freezing actually. Now I'm hearing talk about more snow this weekend - no kidding.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!!!

Lav

[tree23]

Newbies Nest

Bastet,
I have been afraid of filling out the doctor's forms. For one to have them question that I don't drink alcohol or for one of them to really figure it out. However, I went to the dentist the other day, I was 9 days AF. I not only drank but I smoked a whole lot while drinking (double whammy). So go into the dentist and the last time I had been in there (2 years ago) I was AF and really trying to quit ciggs. So i reported one a day. This time around I was still relatively new in my quit and smoking less than when drinking (about 4 cigarettes a day). When the dentist came in she said she was SOOO disappointed in me and how much I was smoking. I was thinking "B*tch, if you knew how much wine I was drinking and how bad that was for my teeth, you'd be singing a completely different tune". Oh well, she is one of the people that I see once or twice a year so I don't have to concern myself with her. I do think it is silly and obtuse that to have a problem with AL and to abstain or try to work on it you are viewed as different or weak. But to try to lose weight or quit ciggs and have a rough time at it it is totally societally acceptable not only to a) try to publicly control the behavior b) have a hard time abstaining and C) be edgy or b*tchy and have everyone totally understand and support you. Just some ranting of my own.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

More snow this weekend and below 0 too..will stay in and keep warm..doggies are not happy either...trips out to pee are quick.....
Been on a feeding frenzy for some reason today...but at least I have been eating not so bad for me things....except for the cashews...I think I have a new addiction....if I dont buy them I wont eat them....could be worse and sure has been..

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Bastet - I have a hard time forgiving myself for this, too, and it is something I talk about with my therapist. I am embarrassed that I "let" this happen to me - that I lost control over something that I see people have control over all of the time. Well - yes. I did get myself into a predicament - and whether it is from genetics, a childhood trauma or just bad luck, there's nothing I can do about it now.

There is a movement to bring recovery more into the mainstream and make it more acceptable to talk about - the idea being that the more people who talk about it, the more people who will get well by talking about it and getting help. Anyway - there was an interview by a New Zealand radio station with a Canadian author who wrote a book about women and alcohol (I forget all of the particulars but will go try to find them). Holy Cow - a success. The book is Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol, but Ann Dowsett Johnston. The interview is here (it helped me a lot when I listened around week 1.

There is also a movie coming out called The Anonymous People about the recovery movement. The trailer alone inspired me to not be so down on myself. I also sometimes google sober celebrities just to make myself feel better! And of course we have our own local celebrities to emulate - Byrdie, Lav, NoSugar, K9, Allan, LC, Dottie (among others) - they are strong, successful and proudly sober. We'll get there, too.

As Ava says, enough waffling. I'll say good night now. Stay close to the nest if you're feeling wobbly this weekend, and let's make our plans to stay sober! xo

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Me again...

I was just reading around the long term abstinence section and came upon this post from About Time Tooooo who has been sober for more than 8 years after starting (his? her?) journey here. These words from someone sober for that long hit home to me so I thought I'd share them:

I got all reflective. I used to tell myself I'd tried everything.. I"d tried moderation.. I'd tried smaller glasses, I'd tried different wine.. often I"d tell myself I would try things when I never would at all. In the morning I"d tell myself I wouldnt buy any booze that day and sure enough I would.

I think for me honesty is the key. If I want to look myself in the eye I need to be sober. Drunk is not a nice look.

You know, some very kind people helped me here. I will never forget them... but I have helped myself too and for that I'm proud.

3000 (or 3001) totally abstinent days for me... and still today its important. Its important to me that I dont drink alcohol today.

And I wont.

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Hey DD. Happy to see you here! As I said before in a previous post you will always be a quad. Nothing can change the fact that on Jan 2nd four of us together shared a week AF!!
~~So now you find yourself in a fix. I think that by coming around reading and posting you want freedom. You can give it to yourself. I know it is hard, gut wrenching hard at times. Your drinking pattern sounds similar to mine, get through the day/night working your butt off and trying to hang in there and then whamo ~ we would like/deserve/need a break from it all so we drink. Speaking for myself I get a little 'pleasure' followed by endless misery. We keep trying to make it work & it doesn't and never will. So....get your plan in hand, pick a date & bite the bullet. It won't be easy, you think you can't? You can...... reach down deep inside and find the strength that we all have. Grab onto it and set yourself free. Be kind to yourself. I will be around hoping you make the right choice. Your fellow quads will be watching for your success at achieving freedom from AL.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

5 degrees F here, wind chill -4 - not used to those extreme temps here in Lav-land, geez

Thanks for elevating us to celeb status Pav :H
Sure glad I don't have the paparazzi to deal with too :H

Everyone absolutely has the ability to take back control of their lives. Kicking out the alcohol & nicotine demons takes work & even fierce determination but can be done. You have to want to quit more than you want to continue

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!

Lav