Newbies Nest

[winterwalk]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the advice and support and the link to relapse prevention Pavati was really useful, I recognised my own stage straight away, I'm starting to forget the horrible effects alcohol has and starting to remember it in a different light, again! it was interesting to read that the cravings can last up to 2 years and come and go! wow, I thought I was fine when I had nearly 2 years under my belt last time, but obviously the advice from my GP didn't have to be taken, I just used it as an excuse to have that one drink, which inevitably led more and more everyday. I'm going to re-read that post (thank you 3june2013) and keep using this site to bring me back to reality. Thanks everyone, and well done to you all too, its good to know that when one person is struggling someone else is ok and vice versa so we can support each other x

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sounds like everyone had a good AF day - I know I did

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
I have a busy day tomorrow, shopping for food, cooking & entertaining my two rowdy grandsons & their Mom for dinner - fun! All this is possible because I chose to remove AL from my life nearly 5 years ago. I have never regretted my decision

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

WW, that's why I contend that staying connected with our support system is the key to this thing. I have seen so many people wander off thinking they have a grip on all this, but the world out there is telling us the exact opposite of what we should do and unless we remain vigilant, relapse becomes a very real possibility. I made a list a couple years ago of folks who said they were leaving, that they just wanted to get on with their lives....every single one of them relapsed. This, coupled with the fact that Lav stays here and she is my idol, keeps me velcrod in. Besides, I enjoy it here and have made some unbelievable friends. . Byrdie

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Just a check in from me, as I have not posted in a while. Difficult to catch up on all the posts but I am so glad to see "KUYA" on the forum again. Missed you loads.

AK

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

winterwalk;1621598 wrote: Thanks everyone for the advice and support and the link to relapse prevention Pavati was really useful, I recognised my own stage straight away, I'm starting to forget the horrible effects alcohol has and starting to remember it in a different light, again! it was interesting to read that the cravings can last up to 2 years and come and go! wow, I thought I was fine when I had nearly 2 years under my belt last time, but obviously the advice from my GP didn't have to be taken, I just used it as an excuse to have that one drink, which inevitably led more and more everyday. I'm going to re-read that post (thank you 3june2013) and keep using this site to bring me back to reality. Thanks everyone, and well done to you all too, its good to know that when one person is struggling someone else is ok and vice versa so we can support each other x

Getting your head round the concept and acceptance of 'never again' is what leads to relapse.

When a person or a pet dies we eventually accept that we will never see them alive again......we grieve and eventually accept and recover. This process may take weeks months or years. If your relationship with alcohol was abusive in that your 'lover' made you ill and threatened your existence then it is easier to let it go. Some people, however, forget how abusive the relationship was, romanticise it and renew it. They have not yet grieved and accepted NEVER, simply stopped dating for a while in the forlorn hope that the relationship will improve.

I once dated a man who was violent towards me. He was a charmer and everyone liked him. I loved him deeply and he loved me......BUT due to his past he could not, or would not, stop his violence when frustrated. It was a family dysfunction for which he needed therapy.

I ended the relationship, grieved and accepted that I could NEVER risk re initiating it. Of course, he is human and may change, but I would NEVER take that risk again.

Alcohol is a chemical substance, incapable of change, I have a chemical addiction to it, which I cannot change.

I ACCEPT I can NEVER drink alcohol again, and am GRATEFUL I ended the relationship before it destroyed me.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1621610 wrote: Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Just a check in from me, as I have not posted in a while. Difficult to catch up on all the posts but I am so glad to see "KUYA" on the forum again. Missed you loads.

AK

Oh my! Allan I posted the above and saw this!!!

Our shared quit dates seem to KEEP us connected it seems

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Great post kuya...needed that tonight!!
Today is 5 months and I was having the what if's....day is almost over and your post reminded me of the bad relationship I had with AL..sometimes I forget that just like u said...day is almost over...thanks..

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Dottie Belle;1621666 wrote: Great post kuya...needed that tonight!!
Today is 5 months and I was having the what if's....day is almost over and your post reminded me of the bad relationship I had with AL..sometimes I forget that just like u said...day is almost over...thanks..

Dottie it is still early days for you....at five months my moods were still up and down for no discernible reason. Unlike the first few weeks, when healing is rapid and you rarely get two bad days in a row, now you may get a few days of 'blah'.

Byrdie helped me through mine.....thanks gf ! :h

Remember that these moods are BECAUSE you are healing, the chemistry of your brain returning to a pre alcohol state. If you put alcohol back in all the old chemical pathways your brain created to deal with this poison will reboot and will have to be shut down all over again.

It is an amazing system, and it protects us from ourselves should we relapse and binge drink, but it quickly leads back to alcoholic drinking.

The dragon is only sleeping, it will never die, don't get curious or cocky and go poking it with a stick! :H

P.s. I note that we ALSO share the same quit day, what fun!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

Woke up early after a late night out at a braai, and it was sooooo good not looking or feeling like something dragged in by the dog!

Coffee time:


Last day of the weekend, Nesters - make it a good AF one!

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

Closing in on 4 weeks!

Hi All

HP and TJ back in the room!

Sorry that I haven't been back to post for a couple of days, but now I'm back

TJ is doing fantastic and I think she's looking forward now as opposed to backwards. 4 weeks up today and then before we know it 30 days and onwards. We are still going strong.

Glad to see were all still here doing a fantastic job of being AF!!

Lifechange- Like everyone has said already, Welcome back and thanks for sending TJ support. Much appreciated.

Marylou- Great work on getting through 10 days. Hope you AA meetings are going well and don't cause you too much anxiety. I know that TJ doesn't like attending AA meetings much, stresses her too much.

Jane- 3 weeks is a major achievement. Well done.

Narilly, Jim and Tree 30 days! Excellent, keep it up.

Well done Londoner 32 days and counting!

Winterwalk- Well done on getting through 5 weeks, stay here with all of us and we will try and get you back to where you want to be.

Available, Poppy62 and Pav 60 days- Outstanding !!! Inspiring the whole nest!

Well done to Humblerider. Well on your way to 100 Days!! I know you'll make it!

Dotti Belle 150 days now and counting. Well done.

Rollergirl- I wish you and your husband a warm welcome. I think your situation is similar to what TJ and myself are getting through. Your own will power is fantastic at helping you get yourself AF! and your Husband provides extra strength and motivation as well as hugs and a shoulder to cry on during the moments that test us on this journey. HP and TJ are here for you as well as the rest of the nest!

Thanks Starfish. All problems seem sorted so can get back to doing what I do best. Helping others. Your right too, TJ is doing a fantastic job.

Little beagle, Thanks for the support, Indeed I am feeling better and raring to go again. Can you please enlighten me as to what 'Hobby lobby' is? Would love something new to try during those tough days that may be just around the corner, Or even just to make the good days a little better!

Dream- I love coffee an your mugs, makes me smile!


That's me done for this lovely sunny Sunday morning in Surrey.
Hope you all have a great AF Sunday

[sixtyfour]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all

I've not posted for a while as it's been too hard to get privacy. So great to see the days clocking up for so many of us, and welcome to the newbies in the nest. Stay strong!

Had a trying couple of weeks, no real cravings, just reminders of many situations when I would have reached for the bottle. I'm completely out of the habit of going out in the evenings - once I'm in, I'm settled and going nowhere. I've been buying my husband's beer in the mornings when I have always found it easy not to buy anything for myself, then I have no reason to go out later at my danger time. I'm relieved that I've been able to push myself into normal behaviour, ie not having to avoid the bottleshop entrance to the supermarket, stuff like that. Even been in and bought alcohol as birthday gifts for someone (who doesn't have a problem as far as I can tell), and been out for someone else's birthday meal where everyone except me ordered wine. I took the easy excuse and did the driving, but I've recently been able to start remarking that I don't drink 'at the moment' but I blame dieting. Don't have the courage to be that honest but I figure it's my business what I do and I'll do anything to preserve my quit AND my dignity... goodness knows I lost all of that many times in the past, and it's taken a time to build up some self esteem again and not keep feeling so guilty all the time about stuff I can't change.

All I'm drinking these days is water - it has really got much much easier nowadays, I can go shopping without thinking about buying alcohol for myself, and I don't even think about the wine on the rack - there are still my four Christmas bottles unopened and I honestly have no desire.

Really, REALLY hot here at the moment, we've had 44C here today and the aircon can't cope! Sorry that I'm not answering individual posts -I've posted a couple of times on the Roll Call which I felt I needed, just to keep in touch with all you guys, but a quick post then run, is about all I have been able to do until tonight.

Have a great Sunday, those who are just starting out the day, and hope all of my fellow Aussies sleep well!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

GOOD MAE Nesters!

I'm late for coffee! Got caught up in the Hope for Paws link Allan posted! My daughter and I just watched an hour of doggies being rescued and cared for.:l

Do, thank you for the 3rd cup.. I'm greedy today! and looking forward to a day of lounging around the house. Have a cauliflower quiche going if any of you are around in an hour! It smells delicious.
p.s. what is a braai?

HP and TJ you are sounding on top of the world! 4 weeks is so great and 30 days is just around the corner. I am so proud of you and looking forward to getting to know you better...

Kuya, I am so happy to have you back on the boards and in the Nest, in particular. You have a way of explaining things clearly, straight forward, short and sweet with a bit of science-- and great analogies to boot. Each post helps me to think a bit differently.

That goes for most of the posts here, actually. It just takes hearing something said at the right time-- something I've heard or read 100 times, tweaked just like that, and Boom. I understand in a different way.

Happy Sunday to all who fly in today.. Lav, Byrdie, Allan (are you joining us SF?), Pav, WW, Dottie, Ava, Londoner (great job, by the way!!)
and hugs to everyone!
see you in a bit...

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

X-post, Sixtyfour-- good to see you!

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Quick hi from me on phone. Busy caring for elderly parents. A difficult time in life made easier with sobriety. Hope all well.
love Steady

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

Hi Steadfast.

Have to agree 100% with your statement.

Life is so much easier to deal with when sober! Elderly parents are a bit of a challenge aren't they?