I just wanted to say something which may at first not seem particularly connected to AL but believe me in my life, the way it's been for so many years, every single little aspect of my life has been governed or affected in some way by alcohol so in that respect it is connected.
I gave up alcohol just over ten weeks ago. I'm gradually accepting that now I've got the initial stage over with (by which I mean the daily cravings and having to avoid anything and anywhere to do with the dreaded drink) I am trying to think of strategies to get my life back on track and do stuff I should have done a long time ago. I really badly need to get my body under some kind of control. I've already had one hip done, have a disability so I can't exercise or walk far at all, but I can't use that as an excuse to sit around. I don't even need to sit around now, as I do not have a hangover! Secondly, my skin went dry, wrinkly and muddy over all those years. It's about time I tried to undo or improve some of the maltreatment I've meted out to myself. And I have started to watch my weight - I have 100lbs to lose. That's a lot.
All of that I have to change, and I'm enthusiastic about it, which I haven't felt for nearly two decades of wasted time.
But the thing that has made the biggest different in my new AF life is that two weeks ago I finally went to get my hearing tested. I knew one ear was a problem. Turns out neither of them are great, but yes, my hearing in my left ear is 30% down on what it should be. So - somehow I swallowed my pride, and last week I picked up my hearing aid.
That may not sound like a big deal, but I've always associated with hearing aids as something intended for elderly people - but yeah, you are right, look at my sign-in name, and go figure!
I've found quite a difference - I can hear my footsteps on the lawn, crisp grass underfoot. I can hear my beautiful birds up the garden singing without having to leave the house. On the downside, I nearly took the car in to the repair shop because of a really loud knocking, only to realise in the nick of time that it was the sound of the keys knocking against the steering column as I drove along! It's great not to have to lean in to hear what people are saying, and to have that panicky guessing at what someone has said, or pretend I've heard when I haven't.
None of this stuff would have happened if I had not given up alcohol. I was too hung over to care about my skin, my weight, my eyes, my hearing. I just knew the years were rushing past and I was out of control.
I'm not telling anyone about my hearing aid because I'm still a little embarrassed but it's very small and tucked behind my ear.
I know I can't turn back the clock, but I wasted pretty much the last twenty years and I really plan to make the absolute most of the next twenty.
Thank you for listening.
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