Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Not drinking is the easiest thing in the world. Debating with yourself about whether you could, should, need to, can, want to, deserve to, have to, might, or anything else is the hardest thing in the world.

No, you don't drink. Your mind can't argue with that.

[hanoj]

Newbies Nest

Happily Here

Hi All! I am new and appreciate the information - everything counts! I have meekly lurked for some time here off and on...recent events have made it clear I need to use everything in the 'toolbox' so thanks again! Here are the reasons I chose to sign up today:

1. I finally understand how serious this is and that I need help.
2. I have witnessed the success of AA for others but I don't like sharing my 'business' the anonymity here is very inviting and I am truly appreciative this exists. Also, I just personally don't believe I am helpless and can't bring myself to verbalize anything like that sincerely - I believe I have a choice. I am choosing to be sober. I am choosing not to drink and I am choosing to be here (on MWO & in Life). I like feeling good about my recent choices (vs. crappy about my mistakes). I am definitely surrendering to my need for help but I don't feel helpless. I feel hopeful.
3. It's part of the plan I now know I must create (and follow).
4. I have so much to give to the world and SO much of it depends on me being sober.
5. I drink like a sailor and have done so for more all of my adult life and more than 50% of my entire life - what began as a badge of honor is now a disgusting ball & chain. Over it.
6. I want to know what I am like without AL.
7. Mr. Hoffman's recent death by OD scared the crap out of me and rocked my early sobriety boat (21 days in) - signing up seems akin to putting on a life vest.
8. I am excited to meet the new me - or the real me - whenever that is...

Happily Here,
hanoj

:thanks::new::sun::hallo::woot::surrender:

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1622656 wrote: I was afraid of trying. I was afraid of feeling emotions instead of sorting them out. I was afraid of peer pressure and 'what were THEY going to think?'....I was filled with FEAR. But the truth is, the FEAR of it is nothing like reality. Getting thru an event (taking the choice to drink OUT of it) is do-able...and nobody cares! It is all a mindset...and yes, you may have to be a bit selfish at first and NOT attend drink-fests....they will always be there later. You are NOT going to miss anything major if AL is involved. Protect your quit as if your life depends on it...because it DOES!
Icanwithoutacan;1622971 wrote: Not drinking is the easiest thing in the world. Debating with yourself about whether you could, should, need to, can, want to, deserve to, have to, might, or anything else is the hardest thing in the world.

No, you don't drink. Your mind can't argue with that.

These two sentiments about sum it up. Fear kept me from quitting, and ultimately it is SO MUCH EASIER to not drink than to decide what, when, how much, where every night.

Way to go, HP and TJ - 30 days is amazing. It is great that you have each other for support.

Glad you came back so quickly FF - I would listen to Byrdie and Lav and make a plan for how things will be different the next time alcohol calls your name. What will be different? For one, you could post here before you drink - there is always someone willing to listen and talk you through your craving. I had a long talk with my therapist tonight about the power of community in helping to maintain sobriety. My three vivid drinking dreams have all involved the most painful part being coming here and admitting I have fallen. That keeps me motivated to not disappoint the community. Use this group as inspiration and motivation.

Poppy - good to have you pop by. I, too, have had several people tell me they thought I was great to quit and to take care of myself, and some good friends have used me as inspiration to cut down their consumption (they do not know the truth of how bad my drinking had become).

LC, Dreamy - thanks for the breaky. I'll have an eggy thing and some good tea - trying to lay off the coffee for a while.

I'm off to bed.

Welcome all you new comers. This is a great place to get and stay sober. I recommend reading more about creating a "plan" in the tool box, found in the signatures of some of the long timers around here.

Good night!
Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

x post Hanoj. Welcome, too.

These words of yours rang true for me, too:
what began as a badge of honor is now a disgusting ball & chain. Over it.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters

Welcome Taylor and hano! Find yourself a nice perch, settle in and start enjoying an AF life. Have you made a plan to get you through the first few days and beyond? I drank lots of water, stuffed myself with food and slept a lot. It's difficult, but the benefits of being AF are truly amazing.

FF, I'm sorry this happened, but get back on the bus; you've done 34 days, you know what to expect and you now also know that Al after a tough day doesn't make the day any better. Stay close and use the butt velcro!

Ican, you are so right: getting the booze brain to shut up is much more difficult than not pouring that first glass. Thankfully, the siren call does become less loud with time. You are doing so well!

An extra day of fun in the sun Jane - how wonderful for you - enjoy it!

I've just done a 3 km walk as part of a three week cholesterol challenge, so I really need some coffee. Any scones left, LC?



Oh, just remembered: it's Hump Day! Have a lovely AF one!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good MAE Nesters!

Thanks for the coffee, Do! I do have eggs this morning and toast with peanut butter and apricot marmalade-- and some puy lentils with some funky red pepper-cashew cream I made yesterday. Might go well with a green tea, Pav!

Running off to work-- :welcome:!! to Hanoj and Taylor-- glad to have you with us. We've all had the most success when we've been very active here each and every day-- at least in the beginning. Reading up a storm, applying tips given in the tool box and posting, posting and more posting!!

Fatfella, good on you for coming right back. I think it's very important to be as diligent as you can now-- don't let that little slip turn into more.
I had something similar 11 days ago-- and it is more difficult now to get back into the frame of mind I was before. Maybe that's the key, actually-- not trying to be or wishing I could be where I was before..? The completely surrendering part is failing me now and it does make it all more difficult. Having to convince myself each day why AL is no solution.

one more time for good measure!!!!

Originally Posted by Icanwithoutacan View Post
Not drinking is the easiest thing in the world. Debating with yourself about whether you could, should, need to, can, want to, deserve to, have to, might, or anything else is the hardest thing in the world.

No, you don't drink. Your mind can't argue with that.

This is the place for me!!

hugs to everyone--

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

good to see you post mind, hows it going?

has anyone seen rollergirl?

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest, good morning from Germany. It's a dreary morning here, but I'm keeping warm with a nice cup of coffee.

I'm a bit behind on keeping up so forgive me. My mother-in-law was in the hospital (amongst other life things) so I have not been online as much as I normally am.

I've been melancholy lately. I'm sure this is all a part of the process and work that is depression. Lately he had told me that because of things that happened in my past, I am a person that looks for external motivation. And now, because I do not have that (alone most of the time, no job) the depression cloud is taking a different form. He also told me that I shouldn't listen to too much Chopin because it's too depressing. LOL.

Staying AF has been easy lately, but I know this won't last. So I'm keeping my plan of always grocery shopping in the morning (before the depression cloud rolls in) and trying to exercise in the afternoons to keep my brain from exploding. I've started a yoga class one day per week so I'm thinking that practicing yoga myself in the afternoons will help keep my brain distracted.

Well, I'm off to the grocery store! No cravings right now so I'll keep away from the bad section. I'll try to catch up on the goings-on in the Next later today.

PS... I did start reading the "Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife". This has really helped me with my motivation to stay AF as I can relate so much to the story and how the narrator tries to bargain with herself that she can drink again. I highly recommend it!

Much love and strength to you all today. :l

[mywayin]

Newbies Nest

Hello all. I imagine some of you are thinking the worst about my whereabouts but I have good news.. I've been AF for a full month today. Quit date January 6th. I apologise for not contributing more to the nest because I get so much out of all your posts, the experiences, difficulties, and success stories you all have taken the time to share. Thank you so much as it has been really helpful. Whenever I find myself having difficult moments, and there have been, I just make a cup of Joe, put on my electric blanket, crawl up in my bed and plug in to mwo. You are such a wonderful, warm and thoughtful group of troopers, sharing all the ups, downs, the way our entourage and relationships change, the positive outlook and projects that accompany our quits, and especially all the funny stuff.
I've been going through extremely difficult times financially, with bill collectors threatening to sell our furniture, no hot water, very little heating, and no easy solution in sight. Being AF has helped me deal with all this mess in a much more positive way. Finding solutions instead of just freaking out about it all. Indeed I'm very busy with a new project and the daily crisis management. So, a huge thank you and tons of encouragement for those who need it. Today I am going to do something fun... Get a little heater, put on some music and clean out my tool room.. AF that is!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Myway, :wd::wd::wd: and congratulations. You managed to stay AF despite everything that's been happening in your life. Glad you realised that drinking would not make your problems less bad, or make them disappear. Good luck with the new project, and pop in here more often if/when you can (unfortunately we do expect news about slips and slides when somebody disappears from the boards).

Mein, I really hope the cloud starts to lift soon. Work problems (or no work to go to), family and health problems, winter weather all add up to a dark shade of blue. I like the way you looked at things and changed your routine to eliminate temptations as much as possible. If Chopin is too depressing, what about some Mozart? Even his requiems have an upbeat quality to them.

Roxy, are you doing ok? Not sure where Roller is from - she probably be in la-laland. (And not sure if Roller is a he or a she - too lazy to read back for a clue.)

[tf3030]

Newbies Nest

Hey 3june, thanks for the reply. I have very few friends, no family and no money. Perhaps I've earned that status but I'm "white knuckling" this one. This is a very positive thread and has helped me much. It's nice to have people who understand what you're going through

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

A good morning to all from a very windy Wednesday in Surrey.
I think I'll stay in grab a coffee and read some more posts!

HP checking in while TJ is busy at work.

I'm very happy to be able to report that TJ successfully made it through Day 30! The road trip worked, again!!

Everyone here has helped her to achieve this fantastic goal. Thank you one and all.

I checked in this morning and had to go away again.
I couldn't post as I found myself becoming emotional( I was welling up inside) from reading all the kind words from the community. All our friends we have met in the nest since we joined.

A massive thanks to in no particular order
Lifechange
Starfish
Available
Dream
Byrdie
Lav
Little beagle
Jane
Pav

Your all equally responsible for our continued success on our journey. Our 30 days
might not have been possible without your continued support and encouragement. :thanks:

Welcome Taylor. Your sad story seems similar in many respects to TJ's. We've been here a while and you really will get the support from all of us that you need. It wont be easy but it will be a rewarding journey.

Minderaser- Welcome on board! Stay with us will help you get there. Just get through today and those days will quickly add up. If you have any problems, Just ask and help from everyone here soon follows.

Hanoj- Good to have you here with us. We will all hold your hand on the journey to be AF! The MWO could be the answer you've been looking for. I'm seeing for myself that is a fantastic tool to help you beat the bottle.

Mywayin- 1 whole month down, We will all help you get to 2!

Thanks again to everyone.
See you all laters
HP

[badger]

Newbies Nest

MAE nesters

me again. day1 again

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Hanoj I love your list. You are at 21 days? That is great. Glad you are here.:welcome:
HP I still say you are a wonderful person. To help someone like you are is inspiring. Have you gotten to hobby lobby?
Ican your viewpoint on mind chatter is so true. One we can turn off that "stinkin thinkin" as Byrdie says we can truly win this battle.
Have a great MAE all.

[HP and TJ]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Little Beagle for you message and support.:thanks:

Didn't have a Hobby Lobby nearby so we TK Maxxed it instead. Looked at everything that we might have brought and then everything we would never buy!! It was hard work so rewarded ourselves with a Costa coffee afterwards!!