Newbies Nest

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

me too....especially since I have a husband that likes to go to happy hour every night...that is a MAJOR trigger for me....not AF yet, but heading in the right direction I think

[Sophie75]

Newbies Nest

Crikey, that's a lot to cope with. I'm going out later on but not with big drinkers so will be ok i think.. Am going to have a long relaxing shower first with all the smelly bubbles I can find. Have to satisfy some of the senses anyway

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

be good or just at least moderate...that's my thinking right now

[Sophie75]

Newbies Nest

Hello! To be honest the only reason I'm so keen to stay AF is because I want to do it for 30 days and then have a drink. I want to get to day 30 ASAP just so I can try moderating. Dont know if thats a great idea or not but hey ho!

Best of luck this eve Mama B and everyone else out there:h

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

This is a sorry state of affairs

I've been lurking for 19 days now and JUST figured out how to reply!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I want you to know that I have gained so much strengh from each of your stories. One especially hit home when she said that she was hitting different stores so no one of them would put together how much she was drinking. I was a pro. And getting rid of empties...head shaking. If I'd put that much energy into my recovery as I did the problem, I'd have this passed me by now. So 19 days and counting. Friday's at 4:30 are a b____ for me. Substitute, distract, substitute, distract. My mantra. Sober hugs to all and give me a pat on the back for figuring out how to speak out!

[Grateful]

Newbies Nest

Welcome, Byrdlady. You are not alone - it took me awhile to figure out how to post, too!! This is a really great place to gain strength and confidence. Congratulations on 19 days AF - that is awesome. I know what you mean about weekends - but think about how great you will feel on Saturday & Sunday morning and how much more you will get done. Hope you have a great weekend!!

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Bryd Lady
conisder yourself patted!!!!!!

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Sophie...
I know what you mean about 30 days, but that has not happened for me yet....HOWEVER... I am much more aware and am watching my intake .....I already feel better...
Love you!

[JimBeam911]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon all,

Just wanted to drop in before the weekend to wish all newcomers success in resisting temptations during this difficult time of the week. Once you start dissociating the weekend with drinking, it becomes easier, believe me. You'll find yourself well-rested and in possession of the ability to actually remember how you spent your time!

I'm currently on day 34 AF and recognizing more and more how psychological this addiction really is. Although I'm experiencing less and less strong temptations to drink, there are still occasions where I have an urge to drink for no other reason than that I associate these occasions/activities with alcohol due to my drinking history. But simply reminding myself of this fact makes turning down drinks reasonably easy. Have a great weekend everyone!

[Guest]

Newbies Nest

Ah Tranq - your story about Margarita Mary made be laugh.

Hope everyone else here is good, well and starting and AF weekend.

I have come across a (small) problem myself. In the "old days" I would drink a bucket load of wine and pass out in bed. Now I spend my evenings drinking fizzy water and go to bed clear-headed. Then, I listen to my hubby snoring, snuffling, grinding his teeth, fidgeting until I get so worked up that I sleep in the spare room. No doubt he's always been liked this and I have been too pi$$ed to notice.

It may seem small but I don't want to end up in the spare room every night!

Spam xx

[Sophie75]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Byrdlady and well done on your 19 days! :goodjob: Looking forward to lots of posts from you

Spam, have no idea what to advise you but I wish you peaceful slumbers and good advice from those who are wiser than me!

JB well done on your 34 days, I know where to go for advice

Well I got through this eve without drinking. Was hard but am so glad now. Funny thing is, for now I find it easier to do without alc than to try to moderate. I think you are great Mama Bear. We each have to find our own way I suppose and I'm thrilled you are doing so well. Just think, this time last week we hadn't even started! :l:

Right ho, sleep tight everyone and looking forward to chatting tomorrow

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone.

It is so good to see everyone doing great and helping each other. Love it!

Sophie75 - "I want to get to day 30 ASAP just so I can try moderating. Dont know if thats a great idea or not but hey ho!" Sophie, I know that feeling - this has been successful for me so far... But this isn't the first time I've tried going 30af then mod'ing. It is working, but it's not easy, but entirely possible if you can get your head in the right place.

Excuses - "I am very excited to be on day 3 AF. My goal right now is 6, mainly get past the weekend and then go from there." -- You've got a good plan, Excuses, and you can do this. Getting past the first weekend is huge - go for it!

Cecelia - "Though I am nervous about the weekend..." C, you sound like you've got some determination on your side though - stay committed!

ByrdLady - "So 19 days and counting. Friday's at 4:30 are a b____ for me. " ByrdLady - 19 days deserves a big woo woo!!! I can honestly say now that I really enjoy not drinking on Friday nights - I get to do anything I want on Saturday and I've learned to make the most of them.

Sunni - "Tranq - we'll have to set you up with a nice lady that only leads you into GOOD temptations" - Now Sunni, there are some temptations that are welcome, but not margarita sucking ones. My tongue still hurts from having to bite it -- to keep from explaining how easy it would be to drink her under the freaking table, and how I'm choosing not too - just to be freaking nice. Instead I just smiled, and laughed it off. Felt good in a strange way, but it also illustrated how deeply it's embedded into our society, and what a challenge it is just to enjoy a pleasant evening. We're adults for cripes sake. Glad I have a place to vent.

And best of luck on a great lady, Sun. You were here for me when I started and have been an inspiration to me. Wishing all the best for you dear! Hang out here as much as you can so Nurse Lav can take good care of you! Always here for you! Take care!

MamaB - Gas? No clue - changing diet? I've learned I don't deal well with dairy. Maybe switch the supps off from day to day to see if there's any difference.

JB - "I'm currently on day 34 AF and recognizing more and more how psychological this addiction really is." Keep it rolling JB. You're right about the psychological part - I'm always baffled about how it defies logic - we kept drinking even though we knew how bad it is... I've come to the conclusion it's really about dealing with emotions and taking good care of ourselves.

Spam - Snoring? Don't let it get you down or frustrated. Sleep in the other room if necessary.

Take care all. I'm planning a sober weekend too.
tw

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sophie, I'm happy to hear you were able to go out & remain AF! That had to do a lot for your confidence. I totally agree that's it is just easier to remain AF. I won't even try moderate drinking again because I know I can't have just one!

Byrdlady, congrats to you on your 19 AF days, that's terrific - you must feel great! Glad you dropped in the nest, stick around, find yourself a comfy twig

JB, congrats to you as well, 34 days, fantastic! Handling the emotional & habitual side of alcohol abuse does take a lot of work. It takes time to break habits & change your thinking but it is doable. If you ever feel things getting jumbled up in your head again.......go back to the Clearing CD, that's what I do & it really helps!

Grateful, I didn't bother to listen to any weather reports today. Have you heard what's coming Monday night??? We still don't need any more snow, that's for sure. Hope you are doing well!

Mama Bear, take some time to read your book this weekend & get your plan together.
Remember, you already have everything you need. You just have to commit yourself & do it!

Spam, my advice to you is go ahead & make that spare room comfortable - it's yours now :H
Mr Lav snores so horribly I made him go for a sleep study several years ago. He doesn't have sleep apnea or anything.......but he was told to lose weight. He refuses to bother so I'm across the hall now (where I can actually still hear him) but at least I can sleep. You do what you have to do

Well, I'm about to call it a day.
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the Nest - the night light is on for my late arriving buddy Tranq!

Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Yikes! I cross posted with Tranq!!

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,
Good to see so many people posting. I love reading everything you all have to say.

Sunshine you made me laugh when talking about a Blah-B-Q. I have one of those tonight with some long term drinking friends. Not looking forward to it much. My daughter said you could call it a bore-b-q too depending on your accent!
Excuse - good plan taking small steps. Short goals are easier to achieve and dont put so much pressure on ourselves. Well done.
Ishybit and Cecelia - I have an AF glass in my hand now when I cook dinner or talk on the phone. Still keeps that habit but can remember what I have said and done after.
Mama, Sophie - Hang in there. It is hard with a drinking partner.
Byrdlady - well done. Nice to see you back.
JB - you are so right about this being a psychological addiction. I found once the physical cravings stopped it was harder to deal with the "habit" that drinking is. I have been drinking for 30 of my 45 years so feel like I am learning everything again. Just hope I get it right this time.
Spam - I have a snoring husband too. It does make it really hard when I am not passed out next to him. I try and take my Calmes Forte and get into bed before him or I have to sleep on the couch. Can still hear him from the other room though. You also mentioned in another post about how high school relationships can still effect us 20+ years later. I honestly feel that is why I started drinking heavily so early. I was bullied every day for four years at high school and no one would help me. In those days it was as if it was my fault, I cause it for some reason. Drinking would take me away from it and give me courage. I could handle it when my brain was being altered by chemicals. I know it is a weak thing to use that as an excuse for drinking but I didnt know any better and it worked (well so I thought).
Looks like I am going to have to go back further than I thought to try and sort out my mess!
Well I am off to do some retail therapy with my little angel who has just made me a cup of tea and a sandwich.
So take care everyone. Stay strong and beat that beast!
Hippy