Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Cloudy & awaiting more snow here. Not needed in the least
Very cold here too! Why am I so lucky this winter? :H

I plan to stay inside as much as possible today, tired of dealing with Mother Nature. Plenty of cooking, baking, tax prep, etc to do to keep me busy & out of trouble

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Sunday!
Lav

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Pav and Poppy. You both are inspiring.

[Darkest Diamond]

Newbies Nest

Feel very low.

[Marylou123]

Newbies Nest

DD - good morning. Why so blue?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1624821 wrote:
It's called Do this Not that (don't tell Yahoo) under Just Starting Out.
Come out & play with me! Xoxo

...not exclusively by me...Nelz posted too

Here's your link, Jane: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ml#post1624813.

You have some great ideas - I checked out some of the apps you mentioned. Thanks!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sarah42;1624635 wrote: Thank you for the response. My gastro actually told me to stop smoking or ANY OTHER addictive behavior immediately (cold turkey) with my form of Chrons (I'm moderate to severe) it most likely would cause a flare up. My hubby quit smoking a year or so ago and he has ulcerative colitis and he immediately had a flare up. Doesn't mean my doc said to not do it... LOL. But I am just now trying a new med with my Crohns that seems to be helping in conjunction with my anti-cancer med and I just don't want to jeapordize that process until I'm very stable on this new drug.

Honestly, it's really not an excuse I'm telling myself...I've already had less to drink AND smoke tonight than I did last night. Maybe I should tell him exactly what I'm trying to do, but I'm embarrassed to tell him. (he knows I smoke, but not the excessive drinking).

Hey Sarah...I have moderate to severe Crohn's /Colitis as well. In fact, in 1996 I was scheduled to have my lower colon removed and resected. Don't ask me why, but before the appointment, I began to improve so I cancelled it. My colon is in tatters, but it's hanging in there! :H What new med are you taking? I was taking and LOVING Budesonide (steroid-like, without the face swelling) but now I have learned this has decreased my bone density by 12%, so we are doing damage control on that now. I highlighted the area above because your gastro doesn't know the extent of your drinking. If he did, he would most likely insist you find help to stop it immediately. My stopping did NOT cause any flairs, in fact, stopping helped my colon considerably.

In my one year acceptance speech, I talked about learning which voices to listen to in my head. The ones that talked about continuing to drink are the ones I had to tune out. If your voices are telling you that continuing to drink will ease the chances of a flair, then I hope you will call bullshit on them. That is the addiction talking. Make today your Day 1 and get this monkey off your back once and for all! Anything else is just prolonging the agony. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear...but Lav pretty much told me this was baggage claim, and my bags had arrived! I had to face the ugly truth and walk thru it. I'm so glad I finally listened to her. Look at all the happy people in this nest! We are happy because AL is taking a backseat now, it is no longer controlling our actions and threatening our lives. One day at a time, one hour at a time. It is do-able...we are here to help...we have truly walked in your shoes. Byrdie

[bkgirl]

Newbies Nest

In need of a change

Hey,
So I'm really new to this, I just discovered this forum today, but I need a little understanding from someone, so I'm glad I found it haha.
I don't think I can emotionally go through my whole story now, but I found this site because of a post someone had written about "blackout..cheated". Needless to say, I was searching for something like that because it happened to me Friday night.
I have been so much better about not drinking as much..It had come to my attention this fall, that I had been drinking more and more, more than my friends around me, that I was becoming a completely different person when I drank. I was slipping into habits of drinking during the week, and not being as productive as my artist-self would like to be after my day job.
Also, I broke up with my boyfriend in the fall, and if I could pinpoint all of my regrets last fall, they would really have taken place while drunk.
That being said, I recognized this, and I realized, that once I moved past my "rebound" fling with a boy I knew, and was dealing with my breakup, that I was sad, and I shouldn't drink when I'm sad, so I started efforts to curb my drinking. Especially alone or during the work week...
Now somehow, in the New Year, I have been drinking less, and yet stupid things keep happening to me. There was one night a few weeks ago, that I went to a friend's birthday at a bar, and apparently I got way too drunk, and my friends put me in a cab, but without my purse. They luckily called my roommate, who had to leave her friends, to let me in our apartment. I woke up the next day with nothing, but luckily a friend had all of my belongings, which I had to run and get before I could leave for a Saturday business trip with my boss. Not ideal. After that night, I decided I wouldn't drink for a week, not a drop, and just see how it went. It went really well, and I went to a different friends birthday about 8 nights later, drank, but I paced myself alright and had a fun night. That was 2 weekends ago, and since then, I haven't been drinking during the week still..Last weekend I didn't even end up drunk at all. This Friday, however, I had a rough week and decided to treat myself to a couple of nice beers at home. (I should also interject that since the holidays, me and my boyfriend have been in the process of rekindling our relationship, which is at the moment long distance). So when my roommate got home from work, and said she was going to our usual "go-out-and-dance" spot, to meet all of our friends, and that I should come, I said sure.
It started out so utterly normal, seeing everyone I knew, even having a work friend come and meet me, and having fun with my roommate. And then bam, I can't remember a lot after a certain point. I only have flashes of me walking around a weird apartment building with some guy, and waking up the next morning in a strange apartment, without my purse, without my phone.
I live in an area where I have to take the train to get most places, so I didnt have my metro card, or any money or card to buy one, or my apartment keys even if I would've walked the long way home. And a boy I don't remember meeting?
It just strikes me as ironic that the strangest, most horrible night ever happened when I am REALLY, truly trying to get my drinking in order. I can't even describe how heartbroken this makes me.
I think it is some big, horrible, glaring sign that I can't even drink on a Friday night. I'm not a fan of defining things, and I'm not sure if I have what you would exactly call a drinking problem, but drinking definitely has a problem with me. So why do I keep doing it? And why can't I have a normal night out with friends, when everyone else can manage to hold on to their belongings and not have something dramatic happen?
I'm not sure what to do..I'm fighting all of these feelings of self-hate, because I know that I shouldn't, because I'm human, and I'm a Christian who believes that God's forgiveness is super real, and He accepts all of our flaws, but I'm just so frustrated. I love my basically-boyfriend, and I hate doing this. I think I can't even drink occasionally, because my drunken self is terrible. I used to be able to go out and be drunk, know my limit, remember the whole night, and go home safely. Apparently I can't handle that anymore.
Any words of wisdom? Haha.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

MAE, All:

Thanks for the 70-day love. Congratulations to my quit buddy, Poppy, too! I can honestly say that I wouldn't have done this if I hadn't started really focusing on the work it takes to get sober, reading and posting here, getting inspiration and advice from those who are ahead of me, and reminding myself of all that I have to gain from living a life without alcohol.

Geez, do you have a way with words, Byrdie. That is EXACTLY it. Stop listening to those stupid voices that tell you why it would be impossible to quit, or you shouldn't quit right now. I believe we have all heard them - "I can't now because it is almost X holiday/vacation/party and I couldn't possibly do that sober." "I can't sleep without alcohol and right now sleep is the most important thing for me." "I get anxious and can't function at parties." "I might get withdrawals." "My partner drinks and s/he wouldn't understand." "I don't want to look stupid or incompetent to my friends and family who don't have to stop." "I'm bored." "I'll be no fun." "I have the most stressful job and just need to relax." You get the picture. I would recommend heeding Byrdie's advice and calling bullshit on them. Seriously. I had a friend who got a doctor to tell her that one or two cigs a day when she was pregnant was fine because it calmed her so much and being calm was good for the baby! Your addicted mind (and your co-dependent friends/family) will always help you find some excuse to drink. Tell it NO!

Phew, Byrdie, I guess you struck a nerve. I think I'm done.

Sarah, I don't want to minimize your pain - I have a close friend and a nephew with crohns and colitis respectively - I have seen what the go through. From what I have read and heard in supporting them, getting off the alcohol will do nothing but help. Cutting back is a great start.

Jane, I've read your thread - will go post something now.

Way to ride it out, Maji. I remember when Ava had a big problem with her boss, and concluded that she didn't want to give him any more power over her by being the reason that she chose to drink. No sense in that. The fear of not wanting to post Day 1 again has kept me on the straight and narrow a few times. I recommend the roll call for anyone not posting over there. It can be tedious to count days, but it does create accountability.

MyWayIn - I love the quote you picked out, too. In relation to alcohol, that is a reminder that being sober takes work - it does not work to "hope" that you stay sober - you have to work at it. It does get easier, but all of the reading I've done about relapse says that we will need to continue to work on sobriety forever. It doesn't have to be painful - let's all join Jane's thread and share ideas!

MyLuck - positive it is. It really helps. Every time I want a drink I just think about what I am gaining from being sober, not what I'm losing from not having a drink (thanks to Lav, G and the others around here for that way of thinking).

Lead - urge surfing by the food cravings - duh. Why didn't I think of that. I have taken to really wanting something sweet after a meal - I experience a real craving. I will try that method tonight!

Ava - thanks for the extra party, and welcome home, Maddison! I'm so glad she's ok. Since you've given everyone here a reprieve from a long post, I figured I'd come take up the slack.

Rox - cutting your own hair? Britney Spears style? Hah!

Marylou - I forgot - totally forgot - something the other day. I was so happy to remember that it wasn't from drinking! (Although at some point I guess I should worry about the memory!)

OK - That's as far back as I can go this morning. I think I'll brave the weather for a nice hike in the rain, then my kid's basketball game and a movie with the family. It will be so nice to do it all sober.

Stay strong Nesters - we can do this!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

bkgirl;1624861 wrote: Hey,
It just strikes me as ironic that the strangest, most horrible night ever happened when I am REALLY, truly trying to get my drinking in order. I can't even describe how heartbroken this makes me.

Cross post, BKgirl. Welcome to MWO - you've found a great post.

I found that I got startlingly drunk once I convinced myself that moderation was the only way - it was like (as Byrdie says) I was doing "makeup" drinking when I did allow myself to drink. I found myself doing things that I had NEVER done, and didn't even think I had in me.

Luckily it sounds like you are young and ready to tackle this problem. I recommend checking out the toolbox, and reading back here - there is lots of great advice from the nest mums. Take care!

[Bastet]

Newbies Nest

Happy AF Sunday!
Jane I am looking forward to taking a look at the apps that you have found. Thank you No Sugar for highlighting them.
Available I am so glad your little doggy is home. It feels so much better when you can actually keep an eye on him. I was intrigued with your drink of lemon-lime and bitters. But when I looked at bitters they all contained alcohol. Do think it is a different product in the states?
Sarah I know it is super scary to talk to the doctor and fess up but think of how many patients he has. Ours is really not an unusual situations, so many people drink more than they should. I bet he will barely blink an eye and it might really make a difference with the treatment he prescribes.
DD I'm so sorry you are feeling down. Can you think of anything you can do for yourself that might lighten your mood?
Maji I totally understand wanting to solve others problems. It took me forever to learn to just listen to my daughters when they were bitching about their life and not come up with suggestions. At this point I don't even really have to listen just say unhun, I'm so sorry, that's too bad, I can see it is unfair but I know you are doing everything you can, ect. I also feel the same way about not wanting to start over with the roster. Just not wanting to start at Day 1 has saved me a few times. That being said I wonder what it might feel like to just forget the number of days and just not drink. I'm not sure if I could I would probably just add them in my head but eventually that is where I want to be.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
More snow today and cold..dreary and depressing but I am not lettign that bother me..
We are off to train club meeting.
I have a darn tooth ache and kind of look like a chipmunk....took some of dh's antibiotics until I can find a dentist...fired my old one for being a bully of sorts..her treatment plan or nada so I chose nada..and with no insurance I have lots of choices..I have already spent a small fortune on the tooth so it is history if/when I find someone I can work with..
Have a wonderful AF Sunday!!

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

bkgirl;1624861 wrote: Hey,
So I'm really new to this, I just discovered this forum today, but I need a little understanding from someone, so I'm glad I found it haha.
I don't think I can emotionally go through my whole story now, but I found this site because of a post someone had written about "blackout..cheated". Needless to say, I was searching for something like that because it happened to me Friday night.
I have been so much better about not drinking as much..It had come to my attention this fall, that I had been drinking more and more, more than my friends around me, that I was becoming a completely different person when I drank. I was slipping into habits of drinking during the week, and not being as productive as my artist-self would like to be after my day job.
Also, I broke up with my boyfriend in the fall, and if I could pinpoint all of my regrets last fall, they would really have taken place while drunk.
That being said, I recognized this, and I realized, that once I moved past my "rebound" fling with a boy I knew, and was dealing with my breakup, that I was sad, and I shouldn't drink when I'm sad, so I started efforts to curb my drinking. Especially alone or during the work week...
Now somehow, in the New Year, I have been drinking less, and yet stupid things keep happening to me. There was one night a few weeks ago, that I went to a friend's birthday at a bar, and apparently I got way too drunk, and my friends put me in a cab, but without my purse. They luckily called my roommate, who had to leave her friends, to let me in our apartment. I woke up the next day with nothing, but luckily a friend had all of my belongings, which I had to run and get before I could leave for a Saturday business trip with my boss. Not ideal. After that night, I decided I wouldn't drink for a week, not a drop, and just see how it went. It went really well, and I went to a different friends birthday about 8 nights later, drank, but I paced myself alright and had a fun night. That was 2 weekends ago, and since then, I haven't been drinking during the week still..Last weekend I didn't even end up drunk at all. This Friday, however, I had a rough week and decided to treat myself to a couple of nice beers at home. (I should also interject that since the holidays, me and my boyfriend have been in the process of rekindling our relationship, which is at the moment long distance). So when my roommate got home from work, and said she was going to our usual "go-out-and-dance" spot, to meet all of our friends, and that I should come, I said sure.
It started out so utterly normal, seeing everyone I knew, even having a work friend come and meet me, and having fun with my roommate. And then bam, I can't remember a lot after a certain point. I only have flashes of me walking around a weird apartment building with some guy, and waking up the next morning in a strange apartment, without my purse, without my phone.
I live in an area where I have to take the train to get most places, so I didnt have my metro card, or any money or card to buy one, or my apartment keys even if I would've walked the long way home. And a boy I don't remember meeting?
It just strikes me as ironic that the strangest, most horrible night ever happened when I am REALLY, truly trying to get my drinking in order. I can't even describe how heartbroken this makes me.
I think it is some big, horrible, glaring sign that I can't even drink on a Friday night. I'm not a fan of defining things, and I'm not sure if I have what you would exactly call a drinking problem, but drinking definitely has a problem with me. So why do I keep doing it? And why can't I have a normal night out with friends, when everyone else can manage to hold on to their belongings and not have something dramatic happen?
I'm not sure what to do..I'm fighting all of these feelings of self-hate, because I know that I shouldn't, because I'm human, and I'm a Christian who believes that God's forgiveness is super real, and He accepts all of our flaws, but I'm just so frustrated. I love my basically-boyfriend, and I hate doing this. I think I can't even drink occasionally, because my drunken self is terrible. I used to be able to go out and be drunk, know my limit, remember the whole night, and go home safely. Apparently I can't handle that anymore.
Any words of wisdom? Haha.
My two cents......All of us here know exactly what you are going through. RELAX!!

First off.....If your feeling uneasy...then you have used common sense to find your way....Congrats........I was in denial for 15 years before I FINALLY accepted I had a problem.

Secondly.....I would suggest you read all you can...even buy the "BIG BOOK" for ten bucks and read all the amazing stories...you will identify and it will help your mind.

Thirdly.....Dont feel ashamed or guilty....just feel relieved that you are exploring something that is worthwhile and will make things better for you.

Welcome to MWO....Lots of good folks here that will help you

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome BKgirl!!
If AL is causing you a problem (and it sounds like it is) then you have an AL problem. I know that's not what you want to hear, but facing it and doing something about it is a better situation to be in that just trying to ignore it (which you are not doing!). So it has your attention... why not set a goal of 30 days AF and see how you do? You will notice as you look thru the Tool Box (link below) many 30 day speeches...it is amazing the turnaround that you can make in such a short amount of time! By the time you pay your next cell phone bill, great things CAN take place in your life!
We have a member here, Londoner, who is in his early 20's and he's on Day 40....his whole outlook has been transformed! I can't wait for him to check in and give you his take on your situation.
We're so glad you found us! Left unchecked, this disease can really leave you in a ditch. Be happy that you are making that C change! Today is the beginning of a new YOU! Byrdie

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

Welcome bkgirl, read byrdies post again.
What you wrote is scarey, and can be a wake up call.
Keep close and read and post.

Day 4 done for me.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Longer Days

Well it's about time, daylight times are getting longer by about 2-3 minutes daily, and spring is around the corner. I keep telling myself that anyway LOL. It's easy to get depressed at this time of year. I am trying to get as much outside time (brrr) and sunshine as I can. How are you managing?