Newbies Nest

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters!

Help yourself to some coffee!!


Great stuff to all Nesters who are keeping the Prize Patrol (and Poet Laureate) on the go!

Rahul, there is no one-size-fits-all answer - try AA and see if it works for you, ditto meds, ditto MWO - regularly and consistently, through the good times and the bad. The one thing I do know is that you have to really really want it and that you must be prepared to work for your sobriety every waking second. (OK, two things, but who's counting?:H) It's not easy, but it is so worth it - and you know it, from experience. Have a good look at what lead to your relapse: but be brutally honest - list the triggers etc and think of ways to avoid/overcome them. Rahul, it is a struggle, I know, but everything in life that is worth something is worth the effort and the struggle and the (initial) denial. Keep close to us, ok, and give us the chance to support you. Good luck!

[lead366]

Newbies Nest

Hey Rahul:

For now?....Read as much on here as you can and see what we have done. See above?.....SEE-----DREAM----DO! You want to get to a point where you truly believe that you are not leaving something behind......but rather gaining something huge. I have stumbled often....and then gotten right back into the program. Yes...try a little of everything....and focus on becoming an expert on alcohol abuse...this will then build your resolve. This is doable and you can do this.

[mr.furlong]

Newbies Nest

newb

Hello. Going on one day. It's my first time here, and I don't know what to expect. I found this site from reading the article by John Cheese. It was great, and most of the comments were inspiring. It's four years old and people are still adding to it.

[mr.furlong]

Newbies Nest

newb

Hello. Going on one day. It's my first time here, and I don't know what to expect. I found this site from reading the article by John Cheese. It was great, and most of the comments were inspiring. It's four years old and people are still adding to it.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Mr F...hang around! I'm new too and haven't even started my 1st day AF but I'm on my way

[poppy62]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Mr furlong you have to come to a great place lots of good support and advice. Have a good look around the posts and the tool box and make a plan that works for you. Being af and sober is achieveable and the best decision you will ever make. Keep close Mr F and hope to see you about .

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Well, IMO I took 2 steps forward today. I did NOT keep my target of 4 drinks Max tonight, but I did drink less than normal. The steps I made was to talk to my hubby about my intentions. I explained to him that I found this forum and have been doing tons of reading here over the last 2 weeks. I told him about many of the Tools in the ToolBox and told him I would be making a plan. He was VERY supportive! He doesn't really drink, (rarely but very little) but he is on a no-carb diet right now so I explained the importance of me having comfort foods around and that I might gain weight, etc etc. He said if we had to make seperate meals...than so beit. We both LOVE to cook so this is a pretty big deal in my household.

I'm tired, but in short he is very happy that I'm working my through to try to get to where I want to be. I'm looking forward to me saying "1 day AF".

Still working on overall plan, but hey 2 baby steps are better than nothing I guess.

[roxane]

Newbies Nest

sarah, youre tapering then?
looks like youve got a plan!
one day at a time but also plan ahead....... i know, contradictory, but plan first, then ODAAT.


if you have your tools in place you have a better chance of dealing with the possible withdrawals, urges, cravings, feeling whats the point, im not so bad really, etc

see all those negatives? thats the alcohol talking.

hangover, dread, anxiety, guilt shame remorse (the GSR brothers), drunk texting/calling, strange pains, the look on your partners/childrens face, depression, bloating etc

see those? thats alcohol after it talked you into drinking.

clear head, energy, looking forward to things, money, close ones talking to you, remembering the programme you watched/ what you said, what you planned (and wanting to do it), happy to walk out that door, free from strange pains etc

see those positives?...........

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Checking in to say hello to all Nesters, whether you've been here a year, a month, a week, a day or five minutes!

Very busy at the moment looking after my dear Mum & Dad, both 83 years old. Thank goodness I've stuck by my decision to quit al, as there's no way i could be doing the caring and supporting in the condition i was in prior to quitting.

I cant read all the way back through posts since i last logged on, but I hope everyone is going well.

Roxane, i love your post about the negatives and the positives; it's excellent!

stay strong and true to yourself everyone,
love Steady

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Rahul,
Sorry to hear your struggling. I had a hard time getting to day 3 then 4. For some reason I had to argue with my brain. I had to get past all the arguments in my head why there was just no way I was "never going to have a glass of wine again". I had to break through that barrier. Quite honestly I never thought I would make it past day 3 or 4. Because that always seemed like such a long time. I was afraid I couldn't go without. I felt powerless against it. So I read the book, My way out, take Topamax, supplements, and listen to the hypnotic tapes every day. I'm on day 8. I feel like million bucks. I wish you this, it feels better than any glass of wine ever could.

I hope you find what works for you. Your formula for success. Peace and strength to you in your time of need.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Sarah,
Keep up the good fight. Your on your way. Your setting yourself up for success!! Hooray!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

roxane- yes..tapering for now so not to shock my body so I can get to day 1 AF. I'll be honest, I have this grand idea that I can just be a 'occassional' drinker... I mean like Super Bowl, Christmas Party, 4th of july..

Pretty stupid thinking prolly, but for my mind to start processing all this it's better than telling myself 'no alcohol ever'. In my mind at least it's more comforting to be able to say 'it's not gone completely'. I mean...what about football season? Vacation?

To me logically it's like saying you need to lose weight, so you can NEVER have a piece of cheesecake again "FOREVER"! Well...having a slice of cheesecake isn't going to make you gain 50 lbs...if you only have ONE a year (moderation is key). So my logical thinking is sortof interacting with my addictive 'alcohol' side and trying to make a plan that will work with me physically and mentally. (I said when I joined I'm an INFJ personality which most don't get) It's hard to explain, but Google if you want. Anyway, getting my hubby involved in what I want to do was a good first step..and tapering down.

The way my mind works I know that I cannot be the kind of person who just says "ok I quit" right off the bat. I can quit completely (eventually), but cold turkey is a no-go for me to start anyway. If I find I can't do moderation effectively then I'll logically have to reexamine my state of true addiction to this terrible drug. I realize this is NOT the best way for most and what I have read here..and yes, maybe I AM subconsciously making excuses for myself, but with your guys help...I will find my way.

I will say this....I just spent 2 hours of doing research on some of the meds mentioned here and elsewhere....and there is no way in hell I do those. I am an HERB lover....truely! I believe we can live off the Earth if needed (and I KNOW herbs). Not a chance I take these meds. Kudzu would be the only thing I would consider and I can do my own of that via tincture.

I gotta go now, but will check in tomr.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy AF Tuesday!
Lots of things to do today, more snow on the way tomorrow, even though we don't need it

Hello & welcome mr. furlong, glad you found us

I'll check in later!
Lav

[Marylou123]

Newbies Nest

MAE Nesters,

Happy AF Tuesday.

Rahul - today is day 21 for me so I am no expert, and I find my plan is dynamic and evolving, but here's what is working for me:

1. Spend as much time as possible on MWO. This is my single, biggest source of support, inspiration and accountability.

2. Read, read, read. For me, combining the theories in My Way Out, Rational Recovery and The Heart of Addiction make sense even though some are slightly contradictory. I don't really give a rats a** about what others may think about any one approach or combination. That's also one of the great things about MWO - the non-judgmental love and support of the members here.

3. Exercise - in three short weeks I've learned something about exercise that outweighs even the physical benefits (and I've lost six lbs so far.) And it's this: if I feel low, anxious, angry, etc. fifteen minutes of simple walking in place, or "stepping" front and back, releases enough of those wonderful endorphins to make me feel better and deal. No special equipment required.

4. Check-up - I bit the bullet and told my doc about my drinking and my plan to be AF. I had blood work done so I could know about, and address, physical issues that may have resulted from my love affair with Chardonnay. It was scary; it's not now.

5. Make a list or reasons you want to be AF. I got this from the toolbox. It was gut retching for me. It really helped especially during the first few days. I still refer to it daily. I've posted mine somewhere on MWO. LMK if you'd like to see it.

6. Look forward to every minute you're AF. Life is so much better now.

Have a wonderful day. I hope you find the plan, or combination, that works for you.

Mary Lou

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hi All. It's almost evening here in Germany and I just want to check in. Just feeling blah, but it's nice to come here and read what is going on. I wish you all a good day.