Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Like Brydie says, you can choose not to drink today .

Here is another little change you can make in your thinking that might help:
You don't have to quit drinking, you get to quit!

What all of us seem to want is control and right now, this is in your control. Right this moment you have the opportunity to quit drinking and make a better life for yourself and those around you.

When you feel like you have to do do something, it feels like a burden or a chore that somehow is being forced upon you. No one likes that and naturally puts up an internal fight.

Let go of the "have-to's" and rejoice that you get to do this and you can do it today. Don't wait until the choice is no longer yours because you are in prison or the hospital or, worst-case scenario, dead.

Every once in awhile there is a post about a MWO member who dies before they choose to quit drinking. There was one yesterday. We can have some fun here and encourage one another and not be full of doom and gloom all the time but the fact is, alcohol can kill. We need to take it seriously and choose to get it out of our lives while we get to do that.

[Stupot]

Newbies Nest

As the day goes on, I am feeling less like I want to curl up and die and more like I really want to beat this thing. My plan of attack so far is:
(1) to actively use this place, instead of just reading every day since July 2012 (often with a drink in hand, dear god!)
(2) try AA meetings again. My dad has been sober for 18 months through the fellowship. I hated them before for several reasons and I often picked up wine on my way home from them which is of course, ridiculous. I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to speak in front of a group of people or phone one of the many numbers I was given as I hate using the phone and just cannot envisage me ringing someone I hardly know. Also - and this is a stupid one - I don't drink tea, coffee, or smoke, which left me feeling such a spare part at meetings. My social anxiety is probably the reason I started drinking! It is also hard for me to go to meetings as I am a single mum and although my boyfriend now lives with me and my daughter, I don't want to regularly leave her to be put to bed by him, I hardly see her as it is due to my work. They do have some meetings about a 15-minute walk from my office though so I will try to face a lunchtime one.
(3) when I had a work medical last year, I confessed to less than 50% of the amount I drink and that I am an alcoholic. The lovely doctor wrote a referral letter for counselling to be used when I was ready and when I found out if my work medical plan will cover this. So now it is time to find out. I am so ashamed of so much I have done, I don't know if I'll ever actually be able to 'confess' - at AA or to a counsellor.
(4) Keep my hands busy in the evening and not just sit and watch TV, drinking wine. Unfortunately I have recently strayed in to the awful territory of drinking in pubs alone at lunchtimes too. Oh god the shame. I have done some really stupid things in the afternoons following those sessions, I am burning with shame.
I know that once I have faced up to my family for yesterday's debacle, I will feel better but right now, I want this day to end.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Off to the rental property to fix a leaky toilet that has now damaged the ceiling below...I cant wait to sell this place...it will be hard since this is where I grew up but I just dont want this hassle any longer.
16F and sunny but snow is predicted yet again. Worst winter that I can remember. Lucky us...

[NomoreJim]

Newbies Nest

Dottie
I feel for you with the rental. I got a call from my tenant last Friday he said his heat bill was to high so he turned the heat off while he was at work. It was -9 and he couldn't figure out why his water froze! Fortunately once I got it thawed nothing leaked.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Wow, another day under my belt AF. Too tired today. I have to hit the grocery store after work today and it has been my habit when I am extra stressed and tired to relax with a glass of wine after work. I am staying away from the wine aisle today as I am feeling like drinking the bottle with a straw.

What a ridiculous compulsion. But the thing about breaking habits is creating new ones. Most especially when your at your weakest. Two hours sleep and a 10 hour work day weaken my resolve. So here is to my resolve (cup of tea in the air..clink).

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Stupot;1626091 wrote: As the day goes on, I am feeling less like I want to curl up and die and more like I really want to beat this thing. My plan of attack so far is:
(1) to actively use this place, instead of just reading every day since July 2012 (often with a drink in hand, dear god!)
(2) try AA meetings again. My dad has been sober for 18 months through the fellowship. I hated them before for several reasons and I often picked up wine on my way home from them which is of course, ridiculous. I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to speak in front of a group of people or phone one of the many numbers I was given as I hate using the phone and just cannot envisage me ringing someone I hardly know. Also - and this is a stupid one - I don't drink tea, coffee, or smoke, which left me feeling such a spare part at meetings. My social anxiety is probably the reason I started drinking! It is also hard for me to go to meetings as I am a single mum and although my boyfriend now lives with me and my daughter, I don't want to regularly leave her to be put to bed by him, I hardly see her as it is due to my work. They do have some meetings about a 15-minute walk from my office though so I will try to face a lunchtime one.
(3) when I had a work medical last year, I confessed to less than 50% of the amount I drink and that I am an alcoholic. The lovely doctor wrote a referral letter for counselling to be used when I was ready and when I found out if my work medical plan will cover this. So now it is time to find out. I am so ashamed of so much I have done, I don't know if I'll ever actually be able to 'confess' - at AA or to a counsellor.
(4) Keep my hands busy in the evening and not just sit and watch TV, drinking wine. Unfortunately I have recently strayed in to the awful territory of drinking in pubs alone at lunchtimes too. Oh god the shame. I have done some really stupid things in the afternoons following those sessions, I am burning with shame.
I know that once I have faced up to my family for yesterday's debacle, I will feel better but right now, I want this day to end.

Stupot,
I have learned since I quit that doctors prolly have a good idea when you confess to such and such amount of AL, to double it and that'll be close. I thought I was so sly but apparently they go over that in school! Look, if I can confess to drinking AL out of a hairspray bottle hidden in my purse, I know you can come clean. Be sure to check out the thread, 'You know you're an alcoholic when.....' thread....it's an eye opener.
You WILL be able to forgive yourself, it takes some time. Each day builds on the one before. But you must get AL off the table! Get it all out of the house! Upwards and onwards from here.

Jane, GREAT post! Byrdie

[Bastet]

Newbies Nest

I am only at 31 days so hardly an expert but I think if you decide you are going to quit than you have to go with it 100%. I signed up for a 100 day challenge with a blogger, Tired of Thinking about Drinking, and signed a contract that no matter what I would not drink for those 100 days. I email her each night with whatever is going on or just to say Sober. It is pretty much like coming on here my intensions are clear and I am accountable for my actions. I don't remember the complete wording of the contract but it basically said that it didn't matter who died, who's house burned down or whose limb had to be amputated I would not drink. A 100 days seems pretty long to me so I really just think about today. Alcohol is not an option for today. I hope that by the time I get to the end of the challenge my body and mind will be ready for another but I'm not thinking about that right now.
To reward myself for the 30 days I got a pendent that has a round silver disc with a little black stone dangling in front of it. On the back of the pendent it says " Sober Is The New Black"

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,
Wondering if anyone has gone through a similar situation-- I am newly single and scared to death of dates in general. I've never been the dating type because I think the whole thing is awkward, I perceive it more as a job interview. I know I have issues
Anyhow, I have a date tomorrow night and this will probably be the first time I have ever been on one SOBER.
I am so nervous and when people say, 'just be yourself'...well that scares me even more because I am still learning who that person is without AL.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Bastet;1626176 wrote: I am only at 31 days so hardly an expert but I think if you decide you are going to quit than you have to go with it 100%. I signed up for a 100 day challenge with a blogger, Tired of Thinking about Drinking, and signed a contract that no matter what I would not drink for those 100 days. I email her each night with whatever is going on or just to say Sober. It is pretty much like coming on here my intensions are clear and I am accountable for my actions. I don't remember the complete wording of the contract but it basically said that it didn't matter who died, who's house burned down or whose limb had to be amputated I would not drink. A 100 days seems pretty long to me so I really just think about today. Alcohol is not an option for today. I hope that by the time I get to the end of the challenge my body and mind will be ready for another but I'm not thinking about that right now.
To reward myself for the 30 days I got a pendent that has a round silver disc with a little black stone dangling in front of it. On the back of the pendent it says " Sober Is The New Black"

LOVE THIS! I am going to check out the blog and see if I can participate. Sounds pretty cool. Great job on your accomplishments so far. Sober is definitely the new black-- own it like a boss Awesome post! :h

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE nesters, just a quick check in before work but i need to post something later when i am at work. Just needed to make a comment to Lost.

If you are feeling unsure Lost dont go. I am single and have been for nearly 5 years and it was great to meet and have al. Reality now is that i have done it af, i can do it af but if you are in early days I would not advise it. I dated in the early days and caved with "just one", "just to relax me", "just to be sociable", "i wont drink when i get home" (crap crap crap). If i had one well i've blown it so may as well drink to get drunk then start again. You dont want to start again and if you dont feel comfortable then have a migraine, the flu, pneumonia, anything.

You need to find you before you find anyone else and its okay being on your own. I think i went on my first af date when i was on 40 days. I knew then i would not drink as i felt stronger in myself. Be prepared for him to say "just one wine", "are you sure", "you can still drive". That threw me and my al brain started thinking, well maybe but thank god i was strong enough to say NO.

If you do go on the date, go during the day for a coffee. That is my advice but do what you feel you can deal with. Remember to protect your quit with your life.

I hope it goes well if you go.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

jane27;1625651 wrote: Hi Rahul,

Welcome back...I remember reading some of your posts when you were on vacation in Florida- not sure why, but I got an uh oh feeling- maybe because you sounded too good? This habit we all share is extremely complicated. Its socially acceptable, glamorized & available everywhere. The odds are not in favor of being able to quit via muscle alone.

I'm.

I so appreciate your message during this time when I feel so along it meant a lot to me.thanks I really appreciate it.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

You guys r great and I hate my self

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Well, on my way to work. Day 2 & looking forward to stringing the days out. Cannot believe how miserable I feel compared to just a bit ago when I had 30 AF days. Anxiety, depression and just feeling like crap. How stupid to give into drinking when the price is so high. Sometimes I really wonder? Hope work is not too stressful, back to exercising tomorrow w/o a hangover & attempt to banish the blues.
Rahul, I'm sure you have something in you to love ~ don't hate yourself ~ be your own friend. Change. Don't share your time with someone who would feel that way about you ~ my writing these words is reminding me of the same b/c I can fall into the that trap w/o realizing it. I'm probably there now. It is a never ending pit. As Thoreau said "Things do not change; we change."
Best to you.

[maji]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein;1626051 wrote: Hello Nest, I'm a bit late on here today. I just saw this article and it made me feel sick. Why anyone would ever think this is a good idea is beyond me.

Why do some of our young girls want to drink themselves into oblivion? | Mail Online

Hello Mein,

This 'Carnage' event is an annual University thing here in the UK, the same thing happens most weekend nights in most towns unfortunately.

Some years ago now a friend of mine a teacher had to attend the funeral of an 18 year old former pupil. She had started University, and two weeks in she was out with friends very drunk and stumbled into the path of a car.

I remember reading an article a while ago now, of a young man, again at University, who was so drunk he climbed over what he thought was a fence leading to a shortcut that was in fact a drop of many feet onto a concrete surface. He survived but with some damage to his brain.

It certainly is a sorry mess where alcohol is concerned.

Maji

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

AVA, THANK YOU for the advice. I will also write more when I am able.
Right now, I am heading to my first AA meeting.
I'll be back online to let you all know how it goes!
Eeeek.