Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

Ditto

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Sarah, I have been on MWO for a little over a year, and I can assure you that there is no "box" to fit into. Everyone has their own struggle and path to success and only you know what's right for you. But that being said, there are some very successful, helpful people on here that know that the first step is to "want" to get better, no matter hard that may be. Maybe you haven't crossed that bridge yet? I'm not trying to argue with you, I just want you to know what I've been in your shoes before, thinking that I needed to taper down (which I do agree is required in some cases) or that I have such a hard circumstance with my own personality problems that nobody understands me and I need AL to overcome these issues... etc. It was only just recently when I really accepted what everyone has been telling me for over a year, and making the choice that I want to help myself, that I'm finally on the right path. I guess I just want to tell you that you are not alone.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

Sarah,
Don't give up trying to reach the right approach for you in order reach whatever goal you are setting for yourself. I tried cutting down or only drinking on certain days and struck many bargains with myself. Those things didn't work for me. I had to try different things that didn't work and then set my environment up differently. I'm kind of new to not drinking and it took me a awhile to decide that I wasn't going to drink at all. Because for some reason I was absolutely pissed at the thought of not drinking. I had several thoughts of I'm not "never"going to drink again... these people are zealots. Just remember that alcohol is its own kind of cool aid and it's a tricky bastard. There is a wisdom here that becomes more clear as time goes on, believe me. But whatever you decide it is a process.

Just know that how you feel today may be different from how you feel might tomorrow so give yourself permission to move forward through your process. Teas and good food are a great step keep going and building on your plan. Good Luck to you and please stay open to the love and support this place has to offer you. I'm so glad I found it. I was having a hard time yesterday and one of my motivators to skipping the wine aisle was that I knew I could come here and say "hey guys, I stayed strong" and know that I would have many people here congratulating and being proud of me. That kind of support means a lot.

[Marylou123]

Newbies Nest

I've done the Myers-Briggs test several times in the past and, in addition to identifying one's personality traits, I've learned:

Traits can, and often do, change as we mature and gain wisdom
Understanding how to deal with other types based on your own is one of the main goals of this test. Successful groups (whether MWO, GM, governments, car washes, etc.) include, encourage and mentor all types.

Good luck to you Sara. I tried many times to "cut back" -- my plan now includes abstinence, MWO, reading/research, my doctor's support, exercise and pretty much any activity I can think of to fill my time.

Happy AF Thursday Nesters.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

So many wonderful posts thid morning, where do I start? I am going to read them during meeting this evening. The thoughts on working through feelings and the "what nows" are so relevant to what I have felt and what I am currently going through.
Thanks everyone.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Ican, congrats on your big pair!!!
:bust:

Of months! 60 days is huge! Please stay connected with us, remember HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED are the Big 4 in working against us, so when you feel tired, make double sure to check in! We are so proud of you! Keep up the great work!

I saved a copy of this post that NoSugar reposted from Fallen Angel....it's about In Between Time...thought it might apply.

FallenAngel posted this in the Daily Encouragement thread a few months ago. It was what I needed to read then and it still rings true. I hope it helps you, too. NS



In-between
by Melody Beattie

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.

One of the hardest parts of growth is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for them to be filled.

This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in-between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.

Being in-between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need first to let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird-in-hand, when there is nothing in the bush.

Being in-between can apply to many areas of life and growth. We can be in-between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in-between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life such as care-taking and controlling.

We may have many feelings going on when we're in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.

Being in-between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in-between place. It's how we get from there to here. It is not the destination. We are moving forward, even when we're in-between.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Thank you, Byrdie!

I have been searching my posts and computer for that because I thought it would be relevant, too. I'm glad you're more organized than I am .

[Stupot]

Newbies Nest

Day 2 going OK. Actually had a lovely sleep last night which surprised me. Just met my boyfriend for lunch at a pub between our offices. I thought it'd be harder than it was - when I looked around me, there were only a few people drinking AL anyway so I had an enormous burger, some fresh lemonade and had an enjoyable hour. Normally, I send him back earlier as his boss is stricter than mine, and I stay on alone and have another 1 or 2 large glasses of wine. So by the time I go back to my work (late), I have normally had at least a whole bottle of wine. And then try to work. Writing it down now seems insane but it was becoming a very regular thing for me over the last couple of months to spend lunchtimes alone with wine.
Last night, I read a whole book called "Sober is the New Black" by Rachel Black and I could relate to so much of it. She drank pretty much the same way as me. It was refreshing to read how wonderful she is feeling almost a year on. Just taking one day at a time for now though.

[Cherokeer]

Newbies Nest

I just bought Sober is the new black, looks like an excellent read and just what I needed right now. Thanks Stupot. Day 10 for me. Never thought I would see it. Can't wait to say Day 30 and then so forth. Can't wait for the continued pounds to keep coming off. My pants are already a bit baggy. Looking forward to that for sure.

Do anyone know how to sign up for the subscription (monthly) I tried but was unsuccessful. Happy Sober day friends.

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Brydie, thank you for sharing.
I couldn't feel more in-between these days but am learning to find comfort in feeling uncomfortable.
Being newly unemployed, newly single, in a new home in a new country would be so much scarier if it weren't for my new found sobriety.

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Sarah, many of us have been in your shoes.
Just know that MWO is a loving, nonjudgemental community full of support, wisdom and inspiration. For me, it is like family. We all come here, ego checked at the door, with open minds and open hearts because we are in this together.
Only you know what is right for your life.
I wish you best of luck in your recovery.

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Marylou123;1626438 wrote: I've done the Myers-Briggs test several times in the past and, in addition to identifying one's personality traits, I've learned:

Traits can, and often do, change as we mature and gain wisdom
Understanding how to deal with other types based on your own is one of the main goals of this test. Successful groups (whether MWO, GM, governments, car washes, etc.) include, encourage and mentor all types.

Good luck to you Sara. I tried many times to "cut back" -- my plan now includes abstinence, MWO, reading/research, my doctor's support, exercise and pretty much any activity I can think of to fill my time.

Happy AF Thursday Nesters.

Exactly, the Myers-Briggs main purpose is not only for those to gain insight about themselves but how you can successfully interact with others?and improve how to communicate, learn, and work. It provides a powerful framework for building better relationships and driving positive change within your communities. Stay open, Sara, we are here to help.

[gracieb]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

I'm back to square one. But I feel like I am getting my plan more firmly figured out. I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm going to try again.

Byrd Lady, that post about in betweens is so true. I hate feeling in between. I want to get where I'm going or stay safe where I am but the in betweens! Ugh. It's hard to be patient sometimes.

[TJAF]

Newbies Nest

[QUOTE=Sarah42;1626359]I have no idea what '11 units' means. i had 8 1/2 drinks in 11 hours. I took the sleeping pill to help me get back on a fairly normal sleeping pattern. I've done it in the past and I will do it again.

Sarah
You missed my point. I wasn't being critical of you I was concerned! Alcohol plus sleeping pills can kill you; it's what killed Beatle's manager Brian Epstein and many many others. If it doesnt kill you it could also injure you or others. Someone who has gone to nursing school should know that. I remember a case a few years back about a guy in Chicago who combined sleeping pills and booze and then went about driving the wrong way on a highway and killed two young girls.

Many people here look to one another for advice and to get one another's back. I was trying to get your back but if offending you means I got someone else reading your post to not follow your lead than so be it.

Moderating or tapering AL is not an unconditionally good thing if it also includes undo risk to you or others.

As for a unit of alcohol it's a measure of how much pure alcohol there is in a drink. Generally speaking a 12 oz domestic beer is one unit, a glass of wine is closer to 2 units. To put it in perspective, the recommended level of drinking for a women is about 14 units a week.

I'll say it again...I wish you the best and hope you come to grips with this awful "stealer of souls".

[available]

Newbies Nest

MAE nesters

Need to get ready for work but ICAN congrats on 60 days, where has the time gone? So impressed with your strength and determination and before you know it you will be on the big 100.

One thought though. Why does everyone need a label to be what they are? I have never met a normal person in my life.

Have a great MAE