Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Got my hair cut a little and now I am a beautiful redhead again...just in time for Valentines day...
Got to go back to the rental tomorrow...called a plumber this time...dh just cant do it...
So many great posts...will have to read back later. I have done the Myers-Briggs several times and I am still the same..ISTJ I think...
The more posts I read the more things I see that I did while drinking that I didnt even realize were part of the addiction...I am amazed every day at all we accomplish here...we should be so proud!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters,

Woke up to 14" of snow this morning & have been dealing with that all day. There's another 3-6" still due to fall tonight
Super glad I am super sober & strong enough to deal with all this

Ican, Congrats to you on your 60 AF days :wd:

Sarah, keep working your plan. Just make sure that you are indeed reducing your AL intake a little each day or you'll get nowhere. We al have to do things in our own way & time

Be safe everyone!
Lav

[paulywogg]

Newbies Nest

Sara,you need to calm down,nobody is trying to pick on you,theyre just concerned is all,i dont usually post here but i feel bad that youre getting kind of worked up and offended,when i first came to mwo i had to taper,but i was drinking way more than you,there are a couple of threads on moderating with some really cool people on 'em,maybe if you are more comfortable you could post there,please dont feel beat up

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

[quote]TJAF;1626558 wrote:

I have no idea what '11 units' means. i had 8 1/2 drinks in 11 hours. I took the sleeping pill to help me get back on a fairly normal sleeping pattern. I've done it in the past and I will do it again.

Sarah
You missed my point. I wasn't being critical of you I was concerned! Alcohol plus sleeping pills can kill you; it's what killed Beatle's manager Brian Epstein and many many others. If it doesnt kill you it could also injure you or others. Someone who has gone to nursing school should know that. I remember a case a few years back about a guy in Chicago who combined sleeping pills and booze and then went about driving the wrong way on a highway and killed two young girls.

Many people here look to one another for advice and to get one another's back. I was trying to get your back but if offending you means I got someone else reading your post to not follow your lead than so be it.

Moderating or tapering AL is not an unconditionally good thing if it also includes undo risk to you or others.

As for a unit of alcohol it's a measure of how much pure alcohol there is in a drink. Generally speaking a 12 oz domestic beer is one unit, a glass of wine is closer to 2 units. To put it in perspective, the recommended level of drinking for a women is about 14 units a week.

I'll say it again...I wish you the best and hope you come to grips with this awful "stealer of souls".

As I have waged this battle many times, I thought I would look up the official guidelines of moderate drinking or safe/normal, whichever way you want to look at it, This is from Alcohol.org:
The basic rule of thumb provided by dietary guidelines is that women should limit themselves to one alcoholic beverage per day. For men, the limit is two. Although a double on the rocks is served in a single glass, it does not count as only one drink by these guidelines. A single serving (unit) of 80-proof liquor is 1.5 ounces. For beer and wine, single servings (units) are 12 ounces and five ounces respectively.

Servings should not be averaged over a period of time. For example, having seven drinks in one night but remaining sober the rest of the week is not safe. That level of consumption is considered binge drinking.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1626636 wrote: A single serving (unit) of 80-proof liquor is 1.5 ounces. For beer and wine, single servings (units) are 12 ounces and five ounces respectively.
Servings should not be averaged over a period of time.
It is interesting that so many people here, including me, are very reluctant to take medication and when we have to, follow dosing instructions exactly.

Alcohol and those medications are all drugs but for some reason it seemed ok to break the rules for alcohol and consume 4 times or more of the dose - and to consume it more often than recommended.

I guess that's the power of addiction and why it takes a huge commitment and a lot of effort to get this done. As the name of this site says, we've each got to find our own way out, but it makes sense to pay attention to the people who have conducted the same experiment, gotten consistent results, and are willing to share their data and spare you a possible epic fail. In clinical trials, that is the term used when too many subjects die. Just as there is no reason to do exactly what someone else has done because each of us is an individual, there is no reason to reinvent the wheel.

We all seem to have the same goals - to live the best, sober lives we can and to try to help others achieve the same. This is one of the most selfless organizations I've ever been affiliated with - my experience here has renewed in me a faith in humans that had become rather jaded over the years. That is one of the blessings I've received from what seemed to be at first a completely terrible experience so thanks to all of you for that. :h

available;1626563 wrote:
One thought though. Why does everyone need a label to be what they are? I have never met a normal person in my life.

Ava, you are a SHPFFFDU :H ! (Special, honest, practical, fantastic friend from downunder)

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Posted by Dream,

Morning Pav! I call those blah feelings the What nows? We struggled to get sober, and focussed most of our energy and attention on that. We start feeling so much better, and then suddenly have to deal with life sober. Yes, being sober is awesome - but life is still life, and not always easy. Since so many of our problems were caused by Al, I think many of us assumed that once Al is taken out of the equation, things will magically improve and all our problems will disappear. It's a difficult wake-up call, but many things are still the same - we still have to deal with people we may not particularly like, or still have to take out the rubbish bins, still get stuck in traffic, or still have to do the dishes and the ironing - put all your pet hates in here. They will not go away - and we suddenly find that we now have to deal with them sober - and we don't have a whole lot of experience dealing with things sober. I wonder if that doesn't lead many people to relapse: things have changed, but things are still the same, so why bother with not drinking, then.

Most of the problems or worries or things I didn't want to face before I became sober are still there - so What now? I thought all my problems were going to be solved by getting, staying and being sober. Sorry Dreamy, life's not like that.

For me, the answer was to stop running away from things, the way I did with booze, and face them square on: to deal with what I can deal with , to change what I can change, to accept the niggling things. Sober. No other way. It means learning things I should have learnt long ago, but avoided and numbed with Al, relearning things I'd forgotten somewhere along the way - behaving like a responsible adult. People who never hid behind booze have had a much longer time in in which to do so, but I'm on an intensive crash course, so to speak. I can deal with that. I'm sober.

Great Post Dream! This makes so much sense. And I wanted to congratulate you on your 60!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the congrats everyone! I enjoyed reading about the what now feelings from everyone ---- I guess it will pass ---- I know I don't want to feel like I felt so that keeps me going.

I feel bad for you, Sarah. This is a safe supportive place, and I'm sorry you felt attacked. But no one here would ever do that to hurt you. Sometimes we are a little "tough love" around here. Just keep
Trying and you will get it and get to know us and we'll take on this beast together!

So proud of all of you and inspired by your posts.

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for all of your responses. I didn't mean to sound so unappreciative, because I think this forum and you guys are totally awesome. I realize the way I'm 'trying' to cut out alcohol in my life, is beyond the norm. I also realize it may not work. I get it. I really do. But, it's my 'plan' for now. If it works...'great'..if it doesn't "so beit"..try something else.

Jane- I didn't even know what MB was until I went thru marriage counseling and was tested. Sure explained my entire life. My parents always thought I was a 'sensitive child' and Mom would tell me to "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about". Even to this day I cry at commercials or American Idol or whatever, and that's without drinking. LOL. My hubby was a director of IT in a very large Government program and they required the MB test every 6 months or so..as he managed over 200K employees. I told him when we met what I was, and he was like "oh boy" LOL. But we are very compatible. I'm very lucky to find someone like him. It certainly explained why I rebelled against my parents and why they never understood me though. It's hard being only 1% of the population cause on every turn...you are hurt, judged, dismissed, dramatic, etc. Really the only people who truly 'get me' is my hubby and my child. This certainly attributed to my alcohol abuse I think.

T- no worries. Yes you did strike a nerve with me because I did feel like you were shunning me or 'wagging your finger' as Jane said. I know your intentions were there though. I also know mixing alcohol with sleeping pills are dangerous. I took 1 sleeping pill (OTC) and it was 1/2 the dose recommended. I take sleeping pills maybe 3-5 times a year...nothing dangerous.

Birdie, No Sugar and the others who responded...thank you! Again, I'll be the first to admit that cutting down on alcohol may not be popular or otherwise- or work, but it is the 'initial' direction that I choose. This is a process. Again, if it doesn't work..I will reevaluate.

P.S. Jane- you could probably do an online test for MB, but I'd have to find it...I was given the test by my church's psychologist who already assumed I was INFJ cause his wife is. of course, that marriage went boobs up and I met my current hubby. Best thing that ever happened!

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

BTW- if I'm so happy with hubby then why do I still drink? Unresolved issues with parents, and ex-hubby mostly. I think it's important to state 'why you think you drink' other than just being a habit. Underlying issues caused this problem....not cause I 'like' alcohol.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Good morning from Germany! Feeling delightfully sober this morning and thankful for it! I "get" to choose to be sober today. I'm up early watching the men's alpine super combined from Sochi... Bode Miller has been my favorite skier FOREVER so I'm wishing him a ton of luck today after his disappointing run in the downhill last Sunday. I'll be off to my yoga class in about 45 minutes so that will be a good start to the weekend. Last night I tried something new... step aerobics! What a nice way to get your heart rate up and forget about AL! I highly recommend it!

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! I'm grateful and lucky to have you all in my life. Remember to love yourself today! :h

Much love and strength to you all. I'll be back later. :l

[Sarah42]

Newbies Nest

Here you go Jane....look to the right to take a test. no idea how accurate this online site is on testing, but it's accurate on describing different ones....Free personality test, type descriptions, relationship and career advice | 16 Personality Types

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Sarah42;1626771 wrote: BTW- if I'm so happy with hubby then why do I still drink? Unresolved issues with parents, and ex-hubby mostly. I think it's important to state 'why you think you drink' other than just being a habit. Underlying issues caused this problem....not cause I 'like' alcohol.

Sarah, such a good point! I think we all use AL to cover up other issues whether it be medical, family, depression, spouses... etc. I can't imagine a person that just "likes" to get smashed and wake up sick the next day, then do it all over again the following day! What I'm learning now is to stay strong once the AL is removed and be prepared to go through the emotions of these issues... not easy, I understand.

Much love and strength to you today!!!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Ava, my SHPFFFDU! You DO have a way with words.

I'm going to re-post this from NA that someone sent me, because it seems like today we're celebrating the fact that we're all different, yet fighting the same fight - not so different after all.

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it."


After a very LONG day at work, I don't really have more commentary in me (no comment, Ava). Hope you all settle in to your Nest corners with some strong butt velcro, and start laying your plans for the weekend.

(Welcome back, Gracie!)

Pav

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

By the way, Ava and Poppy - you robbed yourselves of a day on the Newbies Nest. Today (Feb. 13) is my day 74. I counted! (Day 1 was Dec. 2)

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

And thanks for finding that post, Byrdie. Exactly what I needed to hear.

And you, too, Dreamy. Happy Thriday.